DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Deathstalker (2025)

Warrior and scavenger Deathstalker (Daniel Bernhardt) is pulled into the "machinations of the gods" when he steals a magical amulet from a dying prince on a battlefield.

Teaming up with goblin-dwarf wizard Doodad (Laurie Field, voiced by Patton Oswald) and thief Brisbayne (Christina Orjalo), this trio of rogues have to first undo the curse on Deathstalker that has bound the amulet to him.

Then they have to find an (impractical) four-bladed magical sword and thwart the apocalyptic plans of the evil sorcerer Nekromemnon (Nicholas Rice), his right-hand goon, the undead Jotak (Paul Lazenby) and their legions of monstrous Dreadite soldiers.

Written and directed by Psycho Goreman's Steven Kostanski (who was born three years after the original Deathstalker was released) Deathstalker (2025) is a loving tribute to vintage, low-budget, swords-and-sorcery flicks.

It is set in a land awash with Hawk The Slayer mist, and our heroes fight their way through a never-ending onslaught of Power Rangers (and Psycho Goreman) style rubber-suit monsters and Evil Dead-style stop-motion creations.

And, yes, the infamous porcine-faced humanoid makes a return appearance, although he's had a bit of a glow-up since the original movies. You may call him a pig-man, but to me he's a Gygaxian orc.

The ultimate weapon that Stalker is seeking - as I suspected the other day - is even an on-the-nose homage to Alert Pyun's The Sword and The Sorcerer.

In fact, the only thing that really differentiates this from the earlier Deathstalker movies is the total absence of sleaze. There's no nudity (gratuitous or otherwise), not even a hint of sexual tension between Stalker and Brisbayne. Instead, they are treated as <shudder> equals!

And, you know what, I didn't miss it. Deathstalker's linear plot is a blood-spattered, non-stop riot of over-the-top cartoonish violence, interspersed with some witty dialogue, subtle foreshadowing, and a cavalcade of rubbery monsters that could easily have just rolled out of an old school Dungeons & Dragons adventure.

You may recognise him as Kirill from John Wick or Agent Johnson from The Matrix Reloaded, but Daniel Bernhardt, who has a definite air of Jon Hamm in his mien, is superb as the titular antihero and the door is definitely left wide open at the end for sequels.

I, for one, would welcome further adventures with Bernhardt reprising the role.

The only nit I would pick with Kostanski's script - and this is as much personal taste as anything - is giving Deathstalker a backstory that necessitates him having a "pre-Deathstalker" name.

Honestly, this is completely unnecessary as the name could have been excised from the script and it would have read just as well if he was a "man with no name" type.

The film was part-funded by Kickstarter in 2024, but (for reasons) as there were no Blu-Rays (or even DVDs) on offer as incentives I just chipped in at the lowest level to get my name in the credits... because I'm easily pleased.

This did mean I had to import the Blu-Ray off my own back this week - thanks to eBay.

I know there are going to be those who moan about what's missing from the traditional Deathstalker formula (even though, surprisingly having now seen the film, it is front-and-centre in the comic book spin-off released by Vault Comics in the wake of the Kickstarter).

However, if anything, 2025's Deathstalker proves you can still make outrageous, trashy, dark fantasy sword-and-sorcery movies in this day and age that cater to audiences both old and new.

My "thank you" in the credits: best $10 I've ever invested in a Kickstarter 😉

DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Barbarian - The Last Great Warrior King (2003)

A strange one this, although you'd expect nothing less coming from the stable of Roger Corman.

The 2003 movie Barbarian (with its totally meaningless subtitle of The Last Great Warrior King) attempts to be both a remake of, and a sequel to, the original Deathstalker (although without mentioning the name Deathstalker at all).

The protagonist of this 90-minute oddity is not only trying to retrieve the same three magic items as Deathstalker did (the Sword of Justice, the Amulet of Life and the Chalice of Magic), but is also facing a villainous wizard of the same name, Munkar, who has - once again - organised a tournament to find the best warrior in the land.

The faux Deathstalker here is the most-well groomed barbarian in cinematic history Kane (former Mr Universe and American Gladiator Michael O'Hearn), a love 'em-and-leave 'em wandering rogue who - for some inexplicable reason - gets drawn into saving the princess (Irina Grigoryeva) and restoring her father King Kandor (Yuri Petrov) to the throne after he was usurped by Munkar (Martin Kove of Cobra Kai, Karate Kid and Cagney & Lacey fame).

However what makes Barbarian its own, bizarre, entity is the introduction of Kane's sidekick, Wooby (Yuri Danilchenko), a cross between an ewok and a child in a rubbish Cowardly Lion Halloween costume, who squeaks and wobbles his way through the plot until the movie's climax, where he disappears and is never heard from again.

A bevvy of Ukrainian lovelies add the eye-candy and random topless moments, although as well as recycling the plot of Deathstalker, Barbarian also digs up vast tracts of old footage from the original film - mostly around the all-important banquet/orgy scene where not only does the Pig-Man appear once again but we also get the strange sight of the true Deathstalker (Rick Hill) watching the events unfold from the side-lines as well as a return appearance by Codille (Barbi Benton)!

However, this is even more surreal as an opening exposition flashback suggests that the events of Barbarian take place generations after Deathstalker - the "timeline" is even broken up with images of Roman soldiers - although there is never any suggestion that Barbarian is supposed to take place on our world!

For all this random weirdness, lacklustre dialogue and variable fight choreography, Barbarian still stands head-and-shoulders above Deathstalker II - Duel Of The Titans and that's even factoring in Wooby, who I'd heard was on a par with Jar-Jar Binks.

I'd take Wooby any time over Jar-Jar, at least he has some uses (he knows healing magic and is probably quite warm for those long, cold nights out in the wilderness).

DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Deathstalker IV - Match Of Titans (1991)

Right from the opening monologue, Deathstalker IV: Match Of Titans sets itself up as a sequel to the original film (reinforcing this with frequent use of recycled clips from the earlier film and the return of Rick Hill, the first, and best, of the original Deathstalkers).

Although Rick is back as Stalker, the years have mellowed him since the hijinks of the first movie, and he appears to have mislaid The Sword Of Justice. Apparently, in the confusion of an earlier battle (actually a mixture of footage from Deathstalker I and III), he ended up with a friend's sword and the friend ended up with the Sword Of Justice. D'oh!

In the process of tracking his friend down, he stumbles across a couple of women being attacked by beastmen and although one of the women dies, her hotter sister - the Kim Cattrall-alike Dionara (Maria Ford) - survives.

The beastpeople of this realm look like ordinary folk but with lion/bear/pig masks (which, of course, is what they are) - but the implication is that these are their true - if unconvincing - faces.

Dionara explains that they were heading to the castle of the sorceress Kana (Michelle Moffett) to take part in a tournament of champions for an unspecified prize (it's never actually revealed why any of the "best warriors within 200 miles" are taking part in this event).

Lion-people, bear-people and pig-people, oh my!

Not only recycling footage (the man being dragged headfirst into a tree and the riotous party where the pig-man pulls someone's arm off both appear for the third time in the quadrilogy), Match Of Titans is a retread of familiar plot-ground from the first Deathstalker.

Unsurprisingly, Dionara eventually reveals herself to Deathstalker as a princess (as well as simply revealing herself) and the rightful ruler of the castle and kingdom that Kana has usurped.

It also comes as no surprise that Kana is using the tournament to eliminate all her potential competition (except, of course, all the other evil sorcerers!), by drugging them individually and then using her magic to transform them into unstoppable "stone zombies".

Written and directed this time by Howard R Cohen, Match Of Titans sees a return to the lasciviousness of the original - the castle comes complete with a lesbian romper room and magical CCTV for the use of Kana and her henchmen to ogle various bodies.

Conveniently, Stalker finds The Sword Of Justice hanging in the basement of Kana's castle - because apparently she has been "unable to unlock its magical power" - just in time for the inevitable showdown where the wicked sorceress gets her deserved comeuppance.

While Match Of Titans doesn't quite measure up to the 'superlative' standards set by the original Deathstalker movie, it's certainly better than the previous two, even if Rick Hill's Deathstalker is a slightly nicer guy here, exhibiting more of the cockiness from Deathstalker III and less of the brazen indifference from the original.

DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Deathstalker III - The Warriors From Hell (1989)

Third Deathstalker film in three days and third actor portraying the lead character, but at least we have the original scriptwriter back, so Deathstalker III: The Warriors From Hell should be up there with the first Deathstalker, right?

Sadly, wrong. Although a lot better than yesterday's Deathstalker II and thankfully the new lead, John Allen Nelson, can tell the difference between being cocky and being a dick, this is very pedestrian fare totally devoid of the gonzo insanity that made the first the classic that it is.

The DVD case even, amusingly, features stills of Rick Hill (the original Deathstalker) and Bernard Erhard (Munkar the wizard from the original movie), even though neither have anything to do with The Warriors From Hell (more's the pity).

Gifted with part of a magic crystal by a dying princess, Deathstalker learns that when the three parts are reunited they reveal the location of Erendor, a "lost city made of treasure" (no, I'm not exactly sure what is meant by that - and when we finally see the city at the end it just looks like an everyday, cod-Medieval town).

Complicating matters, the evil sorcerer Troxartes (Thom Christopher) has taken over the princesses' kingdom, The Southland, and is ruling it with his platonic mistress, Camisarde (Terri Treas). She wants to take their relationship to the next level, but the cool wizard has his eyes set on the dead princesses' twin sister, Carissa (Carla Herd), who he believes has part of the magic crystal that will pair up with his own fragment.

On his quest, Deathstalker is kinda helped by a beardy - but ultimately rather useless - wizard called Nicias (Aarón Hernán), who bears a disturbing likeness to Alan Moore and whose main magical ability appears to be a vanishing trick that involves him spinning round and round in his large fur coat.

Meanwhile, Troxartes has been using his own magic to resurrect warriors he claims he killed and then, for some reason, had buried in the castle crypt. Before you can cough "bullshit", Deathstalker is chatting with one of these faux-zombies about how he actually killed the warrior the first time.

Whiny Carissa swaps sides more often than Adric in Doctor Who and only, finally, decides that Deathstalker is on the side of right when she overhears Troxartes discussing her murder with Camisarde - who, it has to be added, appears to have a total, unexplained, change of heart by the time the credits roll and is last seen snuggling up to Nicias.

Deathstalker also finds time to hook up with valley-living, potato-eating, horse-raising, wild woman Marinda (Claudia Inchaurregui) who brings her bow skills to the party and ultimately has a "meaningful" death, which everyone soon forgets about.

The story gets a bit messy along the way, when a third fragment of the crystal appears out of the blue.

In the end everything boils down to a big brawl at Troxartes' castle with Deathstalker being backed-up by the zombie-warriors (after he frees their souls from bondage) and a bunch of villagers who, I thought, had nothing to do with anything, against the wizard's bucket-helmeted soldiers.

DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Deathstalker II - Duel Of The Titans (1987)

Having exploded at the end of the original movie, Deathstalker has regenerated into a younger man for Deathstalker II - Duel Of The Titans. Or it's a prequel. Or, most likely, no-one really cared.

One of the things that made the original Deathstalker so great was that it was played straight so the sequel's ham-fisted attempt to turn the franchise into an action-comedy, buddy movie was a serious step in the wrong direction.

Whereas before you were laughing because it was so awesomely bad that it was brilliant, here you find yourself groaning at the pathetic, laboured one-liners, squirming at the bad acting and virtually seething at the "humorous" anachronisms (e.g. the wrestling ring... and yes, there is still a car parked outside the barbarian camp).

To make matters worse, Deathstalker II even blatantly recycles a number of scenes from the original movie that don't add anything to story - and having only rewatched Deathstalker yesterday really stick out.

This time round Deathstalker (John Terlesky - with a permanent cheesy grin and finely coiffured hair) teams up with Reena The Seer (Monique Gabrielle) - whose inability to act convincingly is only saved by her willingness to disrobe - to save the kingdom from the evil sorcerer Jerak (John Lazar) and his hench-woman Sultana (yes, that really is her name), played by Tori Naples.

A swordsman as well as a sorcerer, Jerak - who with white hair and pink eyes would make a pretty decent Elric - has 'cloned' Reena (who is really Princess Evie) and has his puppet princess on the throne, only she needs to consume human flesh to stay corporeal (which is possibly the most interesting aspect of Neil Ruttenberg's dire script).

Along the way our dumb-ass heroes outwit a bunch of assassins, encounter a graveyard full of the least effective zombies in movie history, and team up with an army of busty Amazons led by the rather delicious Maria Socas (also known as Naja the Sorceress in The Warrior And The Sorceress).

Even though Stalker - who, let's be honest, is a total tool in this movie - appears to be using The Sword Of Justice and we see a pair of the pig-men (orcs?), as well as shots of the original, Deathstalker II really has no connection (bar the lead character's name) to the earlier classic of trash cinema.

Even the flesh and gore quota is markedly down in this half-hearted affair.

Let's hope things improve for tomorrow's Deathstalker III: The Warriors from Hell, which is where we enter unknown territory.

Admittedly I haven't seen Deathstalker II since I was at university and had blissfully blanked its awfulness from my mind (except for the car parked outside the Amazons' camp), but the final two 'official' movies in the original Deathstalker quadrilogy are totally unknown quantities.

DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Deathstalker (1983)

With a new iteration of Deathstalker for the 21st Century recently released Stateside on home video, it's time to revisit its progenitors.

Deathstalker, a cornerstone of my old VHS collection at university, is one of those classics of the low-budget sword and sorcery genre that is so truly awful that it is awesome.

The plot - what there is of it - sees the titular Deathstalker ("Mr and Mrs Stalker, do you really want to name your newborn son Death?"), played by Rick Hill, on some half-baked quest to find a magic sword (which is in the first cave he stumbles across) and then kill an evil wizard, Munkar (Bernard Erhard), who has taken over the kingdom.

Hef's ex Barbi Benton pops up as Princess Codille, daughter of the rightful king (not that that is really important) and demonstrates quite ably why her true vocation lay in the pages of Playboy.

Female nudity is pretty much a given in this type of film and Deathstalker is overflowing with buxom young ladies willing to disrobe.

Story, however, in this Roger Corman-produced "classic", isn't as evident. Things just seem to happen for no apparent reason, such as the whole "boy who is not a boy" prophecy sequence where Mr Stalker is turned into a kid for about two minutes.

And you've got to a love a film that ends with the hero seemingly blowing up!

Deathstalker may be bad but it's never dull. There's enough cheesy dialogue, portentous music, shaky scenery, severed limbs and general madcap rough housing to keep most viewers' attention.

And you've also gotta respect the warrior-woman Kaira (Lana Clarkson, who was shot and killed by music producer Phil Spector in 2003, had quite the track record for playing these proto-Xena roles) who not only disdains armour but any more clothing than a cape when she's off adventuring.

You Know What Your D&D Games Need? Deathstalker!

Although the Kickstarter-funded reimagining of/sequel to the original - and infamous - swords-and-sleaze classic Deathstalker has yet to materialise on these shores, my old pal Pun (of Halls of the Nephilim) stumbled over a fresh treat on DriveThruRPG.

It's a free, official, 18-page PDF called the Deathstalker D&D 5e Compendium, and describes itself as follows:

Bring the world of Deathstalker into your Dungeons & Dragons 5e games with this guide from Shout! Studios and ProgCore Fantasy. Featuring full D&D5e stats for 12 of Deathstalker's deadly adversaries and two powerful magical artifacts, all straight from the new Deathstalker film by Steven Kostanski.

This compendium is produced by the ProgCore Fantasy team for Shout! Studios, and is offered FREE in conjunction with the February 17 2026 Blu-ray release of Deathstalker.

Fearing spoilers, as is my wont, I've only skimmed the booklet. I was impressed by the variety of creatures on display, but I noticed a couple of things in particular that piqued my interest:

Firstly, Deathstalker seems to have had a real human man name before he was Deathstalker, which, to me, rather demystifies the character and fails to understand the central joke at the heart of the original quartet of low-budget movies.

Secondly, one of the magical items is a multi-bladed sword called Light of Talon. Is this iteration of Deathstalker also the long-awaited sequel to Albert Pyun's The Sword and The Sorcerer? Does this signal the establishment of a Deathstalker'verse???