TALES FROM THE VAULT: Action Comics #499 (1979)

It's the end of the world (again) in Action Comics #499 and I feel fine... because Superman is on the case.

"As The World Turns... For The Last Time!" (written by Cary Bates with pencils by Curt Swan, inks from Vince Colleta, colours by Gene D'Angelo, and letters by Todd Klein) starts out as a typical day in Metropolis but things are soon heading to Hell in a handbasket after a flying figure is spotted in the sky.

It's not actually the Man of Steel, but his newest chum, the bare-chested, moustachioed Vartox, former protector of planet Valeron and latest "getting-over-Superman" love interest for Lana Lang.

Kids these days, don't know the hardships of the 1970s!

The crowd's apathy to another Superman sighting won't last long though.

Vartox, having failed to save his planet from destruction, now believes that the Earth is going to suffer the same fate because of the dread "x-element" (that he brought with him) which will, very soon, cause the oxygen in the atmosphere to explode.

However, Vartox's unfortunate part in our imminent destruction is even larger. His "hyper-abilities"(which generally mirror Superman's superpowers) are psychically-powered, and he is radiating apocalyptic fear around the globe!

It starts with a "mental plague" in Corleyville, a small town in northern Wisconsin, where the townsfolk plead with Superman to take them away (that's the cover picture for the issue), then rapidly spreads until it seems most of the world's population believe they are facing impending doom.

The Last Son of Krypton, however, isn't convinced and his experiments at the Fortress of Solitude back up this belief. However, Vartox is sticking to his guns and stages a bizarre "intervention" after knocking out Superman with a "hyper-brain blast".

When Supes awakens, Vartox is dressed as Jor-El and has constructed a jury of mannikins dressed as Kryptonian Science Council - re-enacting Jor-El's vain attempts to convince the council that Krypton was about to explode!

This misguided attempt at psychological torture backfires as Supes goes a bit crazy and smashes through the wall of the Fortress.

However, once outside, in the fresh Artic air, he senses that the "x-element" is actually starting to take effect, and deduces that there must have been something in the Fortress preventing this chemical reaction.

Of course, it turns out to be the radioactive fragments of the planet Valeron!

So, Superman and Vartox speed off through space to gather more fragments, grind them up and seed Earth's atmosphere... thus saving the day.

Around all this bonkers Bronze Age chaos there's an awkward romantic sub-plot for Lana, who really has the hots for Vartox (since she first met him in the previous issue), even once he reveals his secret identity (she initially believed him to be Vern, a security guard at the Galaxy Building, where Clark Kent is working at this time).

In the end, she has to let him go, though, as he declares that Earth has enough superheroes and he has an obligation to find a planet to protect with his "hyper-powers". Or it's just an excuse to get away from the very clingy Lana.

"It's not you, it's me!" (But it really is you)

If you've ever wondered what Superman would look like if he had been created in the 1970s - or joined The Village People - you have to check out Vartox's Who's Who entry from March, 1987 below.

Created by Cary Bates and Curt Swan in Superman #281, Vartox was actually inspired by Sean Connery's memorable appearance in 1974's Zardoz, in case you hadn't realised.

This "older and more experienced" iteration of the Superman archetype has reappeared post-Crisis (thanks to the multiversal shenanigans of recent DC event storylines) and even cameoed in the pilot episode of the The CW's Supergirl show (played by by Owain Yeoman) as a short-lived villainous escapee from Fort Rozz.

TALES FROM THE VAULT: Marvel Team-Up #127 (1983)

There's a strong suggestion in Marvel Team-Up #127 that this is the first time Spider-Man has encountered the enigmatic Watcher. Not only does Peter Parker not recognise Uatu, but he doesn't know his name or understand The Watcher's enigmatic modus operandi.

To be honest, Small Miracles isn't a great story, scripted by JM DeMatteis and drawn by Kerry Sammill, but it's odd enough to merit inspection.

While a Christmas-themed tale, it's certainly no Christmas Carol or It's A Wonderful Life.

That said, although it might not tie-up all its loose-ends, it stands as a festive reminder of when comic book stories were 'one-and-done', a single story in a single issue, with none of this 'writing for the trades' padding plots that should have been wrapped in 20 or so pages out to four or six issues.

Throughout this story, Spider-Man essentially acts as The Watcher's sock puppet, being led - almost by the nose - from point A to point B, with only the semblance of free will.

It's Christmas Eve and Peter has dropped in on Aunt May and her wheelchair-bound fiancé Nathan Lubensky, and their friends, for some seasonal celebrations.

Unfortunately, the usually jovial Mr Chekov is rather down as his granddaughter, Bette, hasn't put in an appearance. Her parents were killed in a plane-crash, as were Peter's (although, sadly, nothing is made of this, or a subsequent 'fllashback'-potential moment towards the end of the story), and she has become distant with her grandfather.

Peter tries to be positive, but then his spider-senses go off and he races outside into a snowstorm.

Suddenly he is wearing his costume and standing before him  is the taciturn, bald giant, Uatu The Watcher, offering him a spherical jewel... in which is an image of Bette Chekov.

Spider-Man has the sudden feeling that he is supposed to find her, but no idea of how.

Eventually he resorts to "directory assistance" (remember that, kiddies?), which sends him to an address in Brooklyn Heights.

Arriving there, Spidey discovers the police and ambulance service removing the dead body of Bette's flatmate. A very Sgt Bullock-like detective tells Spider-Man that there was "a few thousand bucks worth of cocaine" in the apartment.

Spider-Man still has no clue where to find Bette, or any idea of what she is tangled up in, and just as he's losing his usual confidence, he bumps into Captain America on a rooftop:

Cap gives him a good, morale-boosting, talking-to and once Spidey's bucked his ideas up, Uatu beams him another clue through the magical ball, sending him to a dive bar called Jimmy's Corner.

After rousting the patrons of the bar uncovers no leads, Spidey overhears a couple arguing in an apartment above Jimmy's Corner, and realises it's Bette and a thug called Buck Todd.

Buck had stolen the cocaine from The Mob, and the gangsters had come looking for it, killing Bette's flatmate and trailing Bette to Buck's place.

There's a big showdown, during which Bette appears to be fatally shot while fleeing. Spidey is heart-broken - no doubt having Gwen Stacy/Uncle Ben-level flashbacks - until The Watcher appears... and "tricks" Spidey into putting things right:

It turns out that every Christmas Eve, Uatu allows himself to help humanity ("One night to be... as a brother to them") in ways his fellow Watchers might deem insignificant and beneath their notice.

In this case, he was steering Spider-Man to help Bette Chekov escape the life she had stumbled into and return to the loving bosom of her family.

Small Miracles leaves us with plenty of unanswered questions. For instance, the pivotal cocaine theft, and Bette's involvement with it, isn't clearly spelled out (What's her connection to Buck? Were they planning to sell it on or snort it? Was this lack of judgement on Bette's behalf a result of the death of her parents?).

And while Uatu's involvement in the plot takes enigmatic to a whole new level, it makes me miss the character's iconic role in the Marvel Universe.

Hopefully with his key role in the recent Disney Plus series What If...? this means the character will be restored him to his rightful place... in the 'Blue Area', on the dark side of The Moon, looking out for us all down here on planet Earth.

TALES FROM THE VAULT: Fantastic Four #183 (1977)

Fantastic Four #183 caught my eye because of its dynamic, quartered, cover that promised "this one has it all" and the fact that that reminded me of my beloved, and pivotal, Fantastic Four #17 (the story that hooked me on superheroes) that shares a similar cover design.

And did the issue deliver on its proud cover boast?

It sure did.

Opening with Sue (the Invisible Woman... 'Girl' at the time) being flung out of a window of the Baxter Building by a creature called The Brute (in actual fact an aternate Reed Richards from a 'counter-Earth'), only to be saved by the alien Impossible Man, Tigra, and Thundra.

The alien gets bored and wanders off, leaving the women to head back into the Baxter Building - only to discover The Brute has turned the building's defences against them.

Meanwhile, our Reed Richards is trapped in the Negative Zone, with The Thing, The Human Torch, and a powerless Annihilus - with whom they strike up an uneasy alliance.

Annihilus has lost his Cosmic Control Rod to the Mad Thinker's Super-Android, which he salvaged after it was abandoned in the Zone by the FF.

The rod has transformed the android into a powerful, sentient, entity that follows a call from the Mad Thinker to return to the Baxter Building and help the deranged scientist steal all Richards' super-scientific gizmos.

An everyday sight on the streets of 1970's New York City

Annihilus offers the heroes use of his spaceship, to escape the Negative Zone, in return for their liberating his Cosmic Control Rod from the android thief back in our reality.

There is simply so much going on in this one comic, in terms of character development and continuity, as well as breathless action, all steered masterfully by Bill Mantlo's script and the flowing art of Sal Buscema and Joe Sinnott.

It really brings it home how much padding there is in a lot of mainstream comics these days, with narrative decompression being used as an excuse for panels puffed out with a half-dozen word balloons, and a general trend to "write for the trades".

Fantastic Four #183 is classic, old school, Marvel: high action, deep world building, pacing to make your head spin, extreme excitement, and powerful pathos.

The ending delivers a beautiful double-whammy with Reed standing firm on honouring his pledge to Annihilus, and the emotional decision by the 'alternate Reed', that prompts Sue to declare:

"Then similarities bridge worlds, my darling... for he did what you would have done had your positions been reversed."

If only more superhero comics were written with such panache these days.

TALES FROM THE VAULT: Marvel Team-Up #96 (1980)

Chronologically this tale recounts the second meeting of Spider-Man and Howard The Duck (although Peter Parker isn't quite sure if their first meeting, in Howard The Duck issue one, wasn't just a bad dream).

In Marvel Team-Up #96, from 1980, Howard is working as a taxi driver and has driven a slightly kooky fare from Cleveland to New York, a former librarian and now self-taught orator who now goes by the soubriquet of Status Quo.

Status Quo is violently opposed to "fads" (from jogging and frisbees to roller-skates and disco music), which he believes are undermining the backbone of America.

Quo gets Howard to drive him to Central Park where he starts whipping up the crowds into a riotous frenzy.

Peter Parker sees what's going on on the news - and spots Howard in the background of the broadcast - and so swings over to make sure things don't get out of hand.

Status Quo is a typical Howard The Duck antagonist from the classic Steve Gerber era (even though this issue was written and drawn by Alan Kupperberg)

He's a fruitcake with a political point to make and - sudden and inexplicable - access to high-tech weaponry (exploding frisbees and jet-propelled skateboards!) who is ultimately defeated by dramatic irony.

Although the resolution involves - of course - fisticuffs, it comes down to Howard giving him a stern talking to in front of the assembled media that spells the end for Status Quo.

Among the many nutty moments of this issue, Spider-Man gets very serious (and references Hitler):

And Howard gets naked (and spends about half the issue in a state of undress!):

As an aside, I'd just like to point out that, to my mind, this is definitive Howard The Duck look... you know, like a duck, not that that strange elongated, scrawny appearance he developed after Marvel had a run-in with Disney over his supposed similarity to Donald.

Not really Howard The Duck...

That was my only real disappointment with the original Guardians Of The Galaxy movie, the Howard who popped up at the end didn't look like my Howard.

And, yes, I am one of the handful of people who likes the 1986 movie.

Given that Disney now owns Marvel isn't it about time they let Howard get his proper look back?

TALES FROM THE VAULT: The Flash # 179 - Fact Or Fiction? (May, 1968)

A Silver Age classic, The Flash #179: Fact Or Fiction? from May 1968 is notable for being the first time DC Comics used the idea (although unnamed) of Earth-Prime (or 'our' Earth) as a destination for superheroes.

The Flash - Barry Allen - is having problems with an energy beast, The Nok, that has escaped from the spaceship of an alien beast-hunter (who'd landed on Earth to repair his ship).

The Nok appears to feed on Barry's "speed force" (again, it isn't called that) and ends up pushing The Flash to new velocities, which carry him to an alternate world: 'our' world, a world where his adventures are recorded in the pages of DC Comics and his secret identity is known by every small child!

People mistake him for a party-goer in fancy dress and he realises that the only person who will believe he is who he says he is is DC Comics Editor Julius Schwartz!

This is a wild story, from the mind of Cary Bates, as it had no precedent at the time. The only parallel world Barry (and the DC readers) knew of was Earth-2, where the Golden Age heroes hung out.

The Nok (pictured on the cover above), and the alien hunter, are rather bland Silver Age pulp sci-fi constructs, but the story itself really opened up a Multiverse of possibilities.

And, at the end of the tale, left Julius Schwartz with a working Cosmic Treadmill in his office! I wonder if that was ever revisted?

I picked up this landmark issue on eBay for the surprisingly low-cost of a couple of quid. It was just a random recommendation the site threw up for me and the cover caught my eye, so I Googled the story and couldn't believe this wasn't going for more.

It's not a perfect copy - but the listing made that clear  - but it was still a bargain for such a key story in the history of DC's Multiverse.

The comic  has since been framed and hangs in our lounge, with a selection of other books that are special to me.

It could well be the oldest, original comic I currently own (being only couple of years younger than me!)