READING REPORT: Still More Buying Than Consuming

I have to confess I haven't gotten any further in my reading of the brilliant Viking horror Draugr since last week, through no fault of the book (it's been really, really gripping so far) but because I'm still trying to catch up on my recent deliveries of new comic books from Paradox Comics.

But, of course, this hasn't stopped me picking up a few more second-hand and new books to add to be reading list.

Due to my recent discovery of Reacher (the Prime Video modern pulp action serial) I was tempted to give one of the books the show's based on a crack. But they're like 500 pages long, which seems a ridiculous length for such a style of story. 

However, this led me off on a tangent, given that Reacher is clearly inspired by the Mack Bolan books of my youth I grabbed a random Mack Bolan book from 1975, for a paltry sum, on eBay to add to my reading list instead.
 

Mack Bolan The Executioner no. 24: Canadian Crisis is a much more sensible 181 pages of decent-sized print, in which Mack is still killing off members of The Mob. This time in Quebec, for a change of scenery.

I wonder if The Executioner books will generate the same frisson of excitement that they did when I read them as a schoolboy? 

Another recent eBay purchase was the vintage Marvel "giant-size" comic teaming Spider-Man with Doc Savage.

I've been reading comics pretty much all my life but I'm still continuing to be educated on what's out there. I knew there had been Doc Savage comic book adventures, but I never knew he'd teamed up with Spider-Man!

I can't remember exactly how I came across this title, but I'm pretty sure it was either a Facebook post by author Charles R Rutledge or a Booktube video from Michael K Vaughan.

My big pre-order of the week, however, was a new, clothbound edition of A Dance With Dragons, the 'most recent' (i.e. 2011) volume in George RR Martin's epic A Song of Ice and Fire.

As you can see on my "Westeros shelf" below, I now own all the books in the series he has penned to date, but all in different editions. This was a deliberate choice as I wanted my collection to have a particular quirk about it.

Given that my "simple" PROJECT 60 is in a state of disarray, I'm now renaming it PROJECT BUCKET (as in "bucket list") and adding to it a goal of reading all the books of A Song of Ice and Fire before I kick the bucket.

Perhaps by the time I've finished these volumes George might have completed the next book, The Winds of Winter, or even wrapped up the saga with A Dream of Spring!

As it stands, I've only actually read the first volume, A Game of Thrones, and that was 15 years ago.

I'll repost my review (written just as the HBO adaptation was taking off and A Dance With Dragons was published) of A Game of Thrones at the bottom of this piece. Check out the ironic comment at the end of the review.

I regard Michael Moorcock as one of the greatest fantasy writers of all time - which is why I established my "Moorcock Rule" for choosing, and buying, fantasy literature.

With his first run of Elric books, Moorcock created - for me - a perfect set of standalone novels that sculpted out an incredible fantasy world and detailed a complex anti-hero in the albino prince.

Each of these books ran to around 150 pages (stretching to about 200 by the end) and so I reasoned, for future comparisons, that massive, door-stop sized fantasy novels were probably not my thing and were best avoided.

And anyway they would take an age to read, during which time I could have read several shorter - and possibly better - books.

But A Game Of Thrones shattered my Moorcock Rule with a vengeance.

Enticed by the prospect - at the time - of the impending television series I found a copy of A Game Of Thrones in our local Oxfam charity store and began to read.

It took two extended bursts to finish this 800-page epic (which is only the first segment of the as-yet unfinished Song Of Ice And Fire saga) - the first couple of hundred pages up until the HBO show aired on Sky Atlantic and then once it had finished I returned to the land of Westeros to devour the rest of the book.

The power and genius of the television show certainly influenced my enjoyment of the book, as I could easily visualise the actors from the series speaking the lines in the book - and, in turn, the show turned out to be an incredibly faithful, if naturally streamlined, adaptation of the book.

George RR Martin has a very visceral style of writing that likes to describe the food people are eating and the clothes they are wearing (which reminded me in part of Brett Easton Ellis' name-dropping technique in American Psycho) as well as what they thinking and doing.

Along with these visual motifs, Martin takes the unusual - to me anyway - step of focusing each chapter on a different character's point-of-view, which helps introduce different methods of describing certain swords-and-sorcery standards, such as the "mass battle": in one chapter we'll hear of a battle from the POV of someone participating, in another it's being described by someone watching from afar, and in a third it will be a report from a messenger - who survived the conflict - to his lord.

The world of Westeros is very rich in detail, customs and history and this is drip-fed to the reader as it becomes necessary to the plot, rarely feeling like a massive info-dump of exposition (as the TV show suffered some on a couple of minor occasions).

Finally, A Game Of Thrones - and, I suspect the entire saga, - is dreadfully addictive reading. I've always loved reading and getting stuck into fascinating books, but I found myself more and more drawn back to A Game Of Thrones in preference to watching TV or pootling about the Internet, which are my two usual default settings.

I really didn't mind that it was an 800-page tome, because I was totally invested in the characters, their machinations and the world of Westeros. The entire book is shot through with a sense of foreboding and the feeling that something major is on the verge of occurring... as the central Stark family say: "Winter is coming!"

And, like the first season of the HBO series, A Game Of Thrones ends on a massive series of cliffhangers that pretty much guarantees I'll be reading the next book - A Clash Of Kings - as soon as I get my hands on it (it's at the top of my birthday list!)

Conan The Librarian, Part Two

My Conan of Cimmeria paperback collection

While I'm still trying to collate all my Marvel issues of the Conan the Barbarian comic book*, my thoughts have drifted to my paperback collection.

I'm trying to recreate the extensive collection of Conan books I owned in my twenties. I recall, during one of my house moves, I trimmed the collection to just the titles with Robert E Howard's name on. 

But in recent years, every so often, I get inspired to scan eBay for any of the later pastiches in the hope that I might be able to reclaim them for a reasonable price.

Part of the problem though has been my inability to find online a definitive list of the Sphere paperbacks and their numbering.

I've cycled through three such lists of late, all showing different titles and numbering, finally settling on the one that best tallied with the numbering on the books I possess.

Somehow, through all of this, I'd overlooked the fact that I didn't own book number 10: Conan The Avenger, an actual Robert E Howard-credited volume.

But, once more, eBay was my friend and I snagged a really decent copy for a few quid.

It arrived this week (see below).

From the current list I'm using, I reckon I now have all of the first 30 paperbacks except for Conan The Fearless and Conan The Destroyer (this latter tome seemingly being a movie tie-in?).

But I'm also pretty sure the pastiche range ran on for many more titles than these (not counting the current ones being published by Heroic Signatures and Titan that I pick up as they are released).

It's just seemingly impossible to find a hundred percent reliable list of all the original titles and their authors. Either that or my Google-fu has failed me completely in my old age.

Conan The Avenger: newest addition to my Conan collection

* I'm pretty sure they're under the bed... with a lot of other comic books, but I just don't have the energy to properly sort them out at the moment.

READING REPORT: New Additions

Latest acquisitions for the "to be read" pile

I am currently about halfway through the magnificent Draugr, the thrilling novelisation of the low-budget Swedish historical horror Draug.

It's a swords-and-sorcery yarn, set in the 11th Century, with a definite Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now bent to its narrative, as a rough-and-ready rescue party ventures into a 'never-ending' ancient Swedish forest to hunt for a lost missionary expedition.

Tense, atmospheric and graphically violent (it is certainly no glorification of Viking era hand-to-hand combat), Draugr is shaping up to be my favourite book of the year so far.

Along similar 'creature feature' lines I've also picked up a copy of Ghosts, Trolls and The Hidden People: An Anthology of Icelandic Folk Legends.

I heard the book's editor, Dagrún Ósk Jónsdóttir, on an episode of the Gone Medieval podcast the other day and just knew immediately that this was the sort of book I needed to read.

Via eBay I acquired another vintage Michael Moorcock book, The Singing Citadel, for my collection of his work. It contains four supplementary stories for the Saga of Elric, although I believe he only appears in the first, the title story.

And, finally, Rachel, Alice, and I were in town the other day and popped into one of Tonbridge's two great second-hand (charity) bookshops: Teppa Books.

It's very dog-friendly - which is always a big plus in my mind - and Alice not only got a couple of treats but also a lot of cuddles and attention from other customers.

Rachel treated herself to her first Jackie Collins novel, Deadly Embrace, and got me A Quest-Lover's Treasury of The Fantastic.

This is an anthology, edited and introduced by Margaret Weis of Dragonlance fame, and features an Elric story by Michael Moorcock. Other pieces in the book include tales from Karl Edward Wagner, Poul Anderson, Mercedes Lackey and C.J. Cherryh.

The "to be read" list is getting ever longer, but I think once I've finished - if I survive - Draugr, I'll probably plump for something shorter next, such as The Corpse Priest or Warriors of The Boundless, which have been on the list for a while.

Knights Of Badassdom (2013)

Knights Of Badassdom exists in a mystical confluence, equal parts Monty Python & The Holy Grail, Animal House, Galaxy Quest and Evil Dead but never quite rises to the brilliance of its forebears.

Having just been dumped by his girlfriend, wannabe doom metal singer Joe (True Blood's Ryan Kwanten) is 'kidnapped' by his two best friends - hardcore LARPers Eric (Steve Zahn) and Hung (Game Of Thrones' Peter Dinklage) - to the site of their next big event, The Battle Of Evermore.

Joe is reluctantly talked into joining the Live Action Role Playing game - helped by the presence of the lovely Gwen (Firefly's Summer Glau) - but, unfortunately, in his quest for authenticity Eric has purchased a magical tome off eBay that turns out to be a long lost book belonging to the famous Elizabethan sorcerer John Dee.

When Eric reads a page at random as a mock spell, he unknowingly summons a succubus from Hell that proceeds to feed on the souls of the LARPers.

Soon after that Joe and Gwen realise that people are dying for real and take up arms to strike back at the monstrous demon and try to save their friends.

Knights Of Badassdom starts very promisingly, with plenty of loving nods to both LARPing and Dungeons & Dragons (this certainly isn't a piss-take of geekdom), but once the horror aspect enters the mix, the film doesn't really know where to go.

Now, I'm pretty certain that I read a ways back that this release of the film was not the director's vision of the story but a cut put together by the producers. This might explain the feeling that after a while the story is just spinning its wheels.

What starts off as belly-laughing funny (very much in the style of The Big Bang Theory, but with more swearing) that had me thinking this might one day equal The Holy Grail as geeks' go-to game quote movie eventually lapses into mildly amusing, by-the-numbers fare.

There are plot holes a-plenty and a lot of undeveloped characters (for instance, what was the deal with the redneck paintballers and their major hate-on for the LARPers? Outside of explaining why the police didn't turn up at the camp site when the slaughter began, they were totally redundant to the plot), which again suggests to me a retrospective recutting of the film, for whatever reason, making do with what footage was on-hand.

Don't get me wrong, it's good and certainly clever in parts, but there's an inescapable feeling that it could have been much better. There are some great characters, and great "in-story" world-building by the LARPers, but it all degenerates into a big slugfest with a rubber-suit monster.

Depending on your mood - and your attitude to random absurdity in movies - the climax of Knights Of Badassdom will either have you smirking at its ridiculousness or reaching for the remote control to turn off the television.

It's such a shame because I genuinely believe this could have been - if done right - a cult classic. As it is, I fear it will simply be swept under the carpet as a missed opportunity and promptly forgotten about.

Of course, the film's biggest mistake: not enough Dinklage.

ROLL THOSE BONES!!!

New funky dice alert! I came across these "skull dice" by chance on eBay the other week.

And immediately knew they had to be mine.

Shipped from China in no time at all for £3.59 each (including postage and packing), I didn't even have to sign up for a costly crowdfunding campaign to get them. Just a quick click on eBay's 'buy it now' button.

They are wonderfully chunky cubes of resin, measuring 2cm on each edge and with that deliciously striking skull design.

As well as obvious atmospheric roleplaying game usage, this pair will be perfect for our next Halloween-themed game of Monopoly.

Vintage Guide To Conan's World Now In My Collection

Crom may not care, but I do! Hence the serious face

As we're talking about reading today, I thought I'd share my latest non-Amazon purchase that's just arrived: A Gazeteer of The Hyborian World of Conan and An Ethnogeographical Dictionary of Principal Peoples of The Era.

Compiled by Lee N Falconer and published by Starmont House in 1977, I have been after a copy of this (rare?) guide to the world of Robert E. Howard's Conan The Barbarian since I first heard of its existence several years ago.

Eventually, one popped up on eBay. But it was in a store in the United States. After a bit of umming and ahhing, I thought 'this could be my only shot at getting this book', and so I pulled the trigger.

As I found out a year ago, once you've accepted the shipping costs, it is very comforting ordering from the States via eBay because your trans-Atlantic package is tracked all the way from the seller to your door: every single stop, every depot, every sorting facility, as it passes from the USPS to DHL and finally Evri  in the UK (which delivered it far quicker than I was expecting).

And the 49-year-old paperback arrived in top grade, ship-shape condition, complete with that nice old book smell that takes me back to my youth and rifling through the shelves of second-hand bookshops.

The bulk of the 127-page book is an alphabetised catalogue of places in Howard's Conan and Kull stories, followed appendices covering chronology, key peoples, heraldry and cartography.

The book closes out with three maps of the Hyborian World, including one based on Howard's own sketch and one superimposed on modern Europe. 

This is a very exciting addition to my small Howard library and makes me very happy to think that, once again, my (rare) patience paid off.

Originally the Gazeteer (sic) came packaged with a stunning, full colour map.

However, I've never seen one of those particular maps for sale... and, anyway, I  don't have wall space for a 28" by 40.5" map (as much as I love fantasy maps).

MORE ARTISTIC INSPIRATION!

If only I'd been a bit patient the other day, I could have added a third art book (well, booklet) to my recent acquisitions of visual inspiration.

Today's new addition - which arrived quicker from the eBayer seller than I was expecting (thank you so much) - is Fighting Dragons and Demons: "a collection of Dragonbane drawings by Jann Galino".

Jann is the primary Dragonbane artist for Dunderdagar, a third-party publisher of material for Dragonbane, the English-language iteration of Sweden's most-enduring and beloved fantasy roleplaying game, Drakar och Demoner (which has been in print since 1982).

The black-and-white art in this 38-page booklet is fantastic, and - as with yesterday's grand, sweeping, full-colour masterpieces - instantly evokes the character and excitement of each particular illustration, transporting you into the fantastical realm it is portraying.

Below are three random spreads from the booklet, poorly photographed by me, to help suggest the excellence of Jann Galino's art:

This picture, The Oracle, should explain some of my love for Dragonbane

Hawkwind - The Chronicle of The Black Sword (1985)

The chance to finally see a live performance of one of my favourite albums of recent years was too good an opportunity to pass up, even if the cost of the DVD on eBay was a bit on the pricey side.

Hawkwind: The Chronicle of The Black Sword is a 75-minute live show by the legendary rock band, performing select tracks from their 1985 album of the same name, a musical adaptation of the early adventures of Michael Moorcock's cursed, albino, swords-and-sorcery anti-hero, Elric of Melniboné.

Not only does Elric himself appear in the show, in the form of actor Tony Crerar, complete with Kabuki-style face paint and wielding a mighty Stormbringer prop, but Michael Moorcock pops up as well, providing lyrical 'spoken word' narration to some of the stories being presented.

He returns for the encore, adding guest vocals to the medley of Hawkwind tracks.

Hawkwind: The Chronicle of The Black Sword isn't a full-on rock opera though, more a series of psychedelic vignettes, often centred around primitive and dated lighting effects, clearly designed not so much to be "watched" as "experienced", quite possibly with the aid of non-prescription drugs. 

Filmed at London's Hammersmith Odeon in 1985, and released (presumably initially on VHS) the following year, both the sound and the image quality are not up to the levels we are used to these days, and I couldn't help feeling that this concert recording could benefit from a 21st Century Blu-Ray or 4K upgrade.

I think I only consciously discovered Hawkwind, and particularly this Elric-inspired album, in the last decade or so.

I have to confess that this live performance will never replace the majesty of the original album, but it was certainly captures a moment, and gives us a unique Moorcock-endorsed look at a hallucinogenic interpretation of the world of Elric.

For comparison, the album tracks, on the version I own, are:

• Song of the Swords
• Shade Gate
• The Sea King
• The Pulsing Cavern
• Elric the Enchanter
• Needle Gun
• Zarozinia
• The Demise
• Sleep of a Thousand Tears
• Chaos Army
• Horn of Destiny
• Arioch
• Night of The Hawks
• Green Finned Demon
• Dream Dancers
• Dragons and Fables

Whereas the songs performed in the live set are:

• Song of The Swords
• Sea King
• Master of The Universe
• Choose Your Masques
• Needlegun
• Zarozinia
• Lords of Chaos
• Brainstorm
• Moonglum
• Elric The Enchanter
• Magnu
• Horn of Destiny

Now, come on Hollywood, where's our Elric of Melniboné movie?

You already have the perfect lead in Tilda Swinton...

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Patience Is A Virtue

My Brilliant eBay Purchases!

It will come as no shock to many - especially my dear wife - when I say I am not a patient person.

I'm generally not good at waiting and want everything NOW!

But there are times - rare times, I'll admit - when I can be quite zen and chilled.

One such occasion, that paid off splendidly a couple of years ago, was my eBay search for issues of the top gaming magazine Different Worlds.

Waaaaaaaay back in the day, I had a near complete run of the whole magazine (thanks, in part, to my trip to Canada with Nick in the late '80s, where I came home with a suitcase stuffed full of back issues I'd found in a gaming store for around a $1 a pop).

Then, during my many moves and downsizing of collections, I foolishly sold off a large selection, keeping only, maybe, a dozen of my favourite issues.

Of course, I regretted it almost immediately, and over the last couple of decades I have been slowly piecing the collection back together, one issue at a time, courtesy of eBay.

Only these days there are fewer and fewer issues cropping up on the secondary market and this paucity is generally driving prices  up. 

I've pretty much got all the issues I wanted back now, but one has eluded me for decades... and it's the "special superhero issue", featuring a slick Bill Willingham illustration of The X-Men on the cover.

The issue has articles for Villains & Vigilantes, Superhero 2044 (no, really), Supergame, Champions, and Superworld; several - sadly not the V&V segment - featuring adaptations of well-known comic book characters (from Batman and Wonder Woman to The X-Men).

There was a single copy that cycled through the eBay system multiple times in that year or so, without selling, because the trader was asking over £50 (on a 'buy it now') for it.

And there was no way I would ever spend that much on a single issue of a magazine... unless I suddenly won the lottery.

Well, I didn't win the lottery (don't get excited), but the next best thing happened in late 2023: another copy of Different Worlds #23 (The Superhero Special) came up for sale on the site.

As an auction, with a starting price of £1.

I immediately made my bid, well above the starting price, but nowhere near the sum being asked by the other trader... and kept my fingers crossed.

And waited... and waited for the inevitable last minute sniper...

And no one else bid on it!

I got it for a quid!

From the same seller I also bid on an old copy of Autoduel Champions. Not a game I ever pictured us playing, but I wanted it for the pure nostalgia factor.

Back in the '80s (again), Steve - a big fan of Champions, even though V&V was our main superhero system - had the game and we played out several memorably violent scenarios before moving onto the next shiny thing.

The auction copy came with a pouch of counters stapled inside its front cover, which was a nice touch.  

Unlike the Different Worlds auction, I wasn't expecting anyone else to bid on this, as it's a fairly obscure game, but someone did - driving the price up to £2.20!

Both auctions finished at the same time, and the seller gave me a great deal on combined shipping, so my patience had been rewarded.

I have kept my eBay search for copies of Different Worlds active, but I can't think of any missing issues now that I have such a craving for as I did "the superhero special".

FUNKY DICE FOR THE WIN!!!

My Sicherman dice

Today I acquired - courtesy of eBay - a pair of Sicherman dice.

At first glance you might think these are just ordinary six-siders... but notice the "8" on the left die and the two "2"s on different faces of the right hand die.

These are true math rocks. And, almost, totally pointless in a gaming situation. 

They only work as a pair (so I must be careful not to mix them up with my many, many other six-siders).

One die has faces numbered 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 and the other is numbered 1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 4.

Invented by Colonel George Sicherman of Buffalo, New York, in 1978, these dice have exactly the same probability of generating each number between 2 and 12 as a normal pair of six-sided dice (e.g. one in 36 for a total of two; two in 36 for a total of three etc).

Sicherman dice are the only other design of a pair of six-sided dice that replicate the probabilities of 'normal dice' (while using positive numbers).

Except for doubles - you're screwed there as the probabilities are clearly not the same. 

So, what's the point of these dice? Who knows? It's just playing craps with probabilities, a mental exercise.

But they're funky dice I didn't have, so I had to add them to my ever-expanding dice pool.

I guess you could use them for Traveller (or any other 2d6 system where it's the total that counts, and doubles don't give you any bonuses).

I'm pretty sure it was the prodigious Simon Miles, of Dunromin University Press, who first introduced me to these special dice at some point last year, during a commentary on - surprisingly - RPG dice. But from the moment I saw the Sicherman dice, I knew I had to own a pair.

However, I fear this may have opened a fiery portal to the world of other obscure math rocks...

Honestly, I Can Justify Buying These Two New Games

Remember back in February when I implied that I wasn't going to buy any new roleplaying games?

Well, much to no one's surprise, that pledge didn't exactly last. Although I would argue that my recent purchases may have some degree of utility in my proposed 'anime-influenced' fantasy campaign that I'm hoping to run with Twilight Sword.

In the past week, I have acquired the Pirate Borg Starter Set and the core rulebook (and some add-ons) for the new Conan: The Hyborian Age roleplaying game.

Both are peak examples of modern production standards, although I know already my chances of actually running either are next to next to zero.

These are reference works, first and foremost, because I am fascinated by pirates and I am fascinated by Conan, and always imagine slipping elements of both into my fantasy games.

First off, though, I have to point out, for those who aren't already aware, the Pirate Borg Starter Set is probably the best RPG starter set I have ever seen.

For a ridiculously low cost (when you consider what's included), you get all of this in the solid, deep box:

That's an introductory rulebook, a campaign book, item cards, a pack of character sheets, some reusable character sheets with felt pens, three sheets of card counters, several battle mats and game maps, and a full set of  gorgeous (stylishly simple) dice.

None of these are cheap quality or flimsy. These items are designed for use at the games table. Even the inside surface of the box lids (top and bottom) have useful charts and tables on.

Much of this material, obviously, can be used with other game systems - which is good, as I still dream of running a nautical adventure, even if not with this elegant Mörk Borg hack.

My other purchase - this time from eBay - was an ex-Kickstarter bundle of core material for the, as yet, unreleased to retail new Conan roleplaying game, published by Monolith.

Unlike Pirate Borg, I haven't read more than a few lines of this yet, but from what I've seen it looks a reasonable simple and uncluttered system (especially compared to previous Conan RPGs that were overwhelmed by character feats, abilities, splat books etc).

I already appreciate the use of large text and white space (as you can see from the random selection of pages below), which tells me this should be straight forward for a numpty like me to grok.

As well as the core rulebook, my eBay bundle included a large map of Conan's world in the Hyborian Age, two packs of blank character sheets, and a collection of ready reference rules sheets to use when running the game.

There's Rock Solid Movement At The Tower

 

Work has - sort of - begun on my 1:12th scale castle tower. A big sticking point in my mind has always been how I would "decorate" the exterior. I wanted a degree of texture, rather than just wallpaper with pictures of stones on!

Rachel came back from Miniatura the other day with three sample packets of cut stone to experiment with.

I really liked this in principle, but Rachel's dad - who has a better eye for these things than I do and is less inclined to launch into a project without a detailed plan - thought these might actually be too fiddly for such a large structure.

The current top contender for my brickwork is looking like embossed card, although, while I've found the right scale on eBay, I'm not sure if I'll be able to find exactly the design that I have pictured in my head.

I've ordered a single sheet of "old wall", so we can see what it's like "in the flesh" and make a decision.

It's not a major step forward, but, at least, things are moving, and I'm starting to formulate solid plans rather than just vague ideas.

When The Raven Flies aka Revenge of the Barbarians aka Hrafninn Flýgur (1984)

Having survived a Viking raid when his parents were killed and young sister kidnapped, Irish youth Gest (Jakob Þór Einarsson) spends 20 years planning his revenge.

Arriving in Iceland, it isn't long before he's Yojimbo-ing things up between his two targets, the blood-brothers Erik (Flosi Ólafsson) and Thord (Helgi Skúlason).

These Vikings had fled to Iceland with their men, to escape the wrath of King Harald of Norway after a failed coup attempt, so they're not exactly trusting to start with.

Gest very quickly starts playing them off against each other, and when one is killed you expect the film to be heading into its final act.

However, things get complicated when Gest discovers not only has one of the men married his sister (Edda Björgvinsdóttir), but also fathered a child, Einar (Gottskálk D. Sigurdarson) with her.

An almost legendary film that's hard to track down these days, When The Raven Flies goes by several names (the "When" seems to be optional in the main title, for instance), including Revenge of The Barbarians in the States and Hrafninn Flýgur in its original Icelandic.

Touted as the "most authentic Viking film ever", this Icelandic-Swedish co-production from 1984 certainly benefits from its shooting locations in Iceland, complete with black beaches and craggy hills; and unremitting weather, alternating between torrential rain and gale-force winds; as well as a cast speaking Icelandic.

But When The Raven Flies also owes a debt to the sword-and-sorcery genre so prevalent in cinema at that time, not that there's any magic or monsters in this one, but it has that gritty, Earthy, small-cast feel of so many similar cinematic stories featuring people swinging swords and axes.

While the overarching plot may not be that original - we've seen it played out with samurai, Wild West gunslingers, fantasy warriors, and gangsters - the Viking period, with its set attitudes to honour and ritual, gives it a fresh feeling.

The verisimilitude is heightened through the use of unusually-fashioned weaponry, which I'm presuming are the 'real deal' compared to flashier Hollywood armaments.

I also loved the fact that everyone rode the small but powerful horses native to Iceland, just adding another layer of authenticity to the drama.

The film is, naturally, violent throughout, but the bright red 'blood' - and avoidance of too much dwelling on injuries - lowers the gore factor down to almost Saturday evening family viewing.

Easy to root for, Gest is a pretty cool hero, armed with his spear-concealing shepherd's crook and an array of deadly throwing blades.

While he's barely set foot in Iceland before he's killing off bad guys, it's all part of a methodical, long game.

And I couldn't stop myself from making Batman comparisons (inspired by the murder of his parents before his eyes), even though it's never expressly stated how long Gest spent on his training and how long on actually setting his Machiavellian scheme in motion (we discover that it began quite some time before he arrives in Iceland).

Possibly because it's subtitled, I must confess at times I felt this 105-minute tale dragged a bit in the middle (there is an English-language cut of the film on the DVD, but that was about quarter of an hour shorter and I wanted the full experience).

However, the pay-off at the end is worth the time invested, especially as it sets up the potential for another cycle of violence... as happens with blood feuds.

When The Raven Flies turns out to be the first part of a Viking Trilogy, but, except for brief trailers on the disc, I know nothing (yet) about the subsequent films, In The Shadow Of The Raven and The White Viking.

I was lucky enough to snag a DVD - via eBay and shipped in from Germany - for just over £3, around a tenth of the price I've seen the film listed at (when it crops up on either eBay or Amazon).

If you like Viking films, then I'd definitely say this is one worth hanging on for, just be careful not to pay over the odds.

DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Deathstalker (2025)

Warrior and scavenger Deathstalker (Daniel Bernhardt) is pulled into the "machinations of the gods" when he steals a magical amulet from a dying prince on a battlefield.

Teaming up with goblin-dwarf wizard Doodad (Laurie Field, voiced by Patton Oswald) and thief Brisbayne (Christina Orjalo), this trio of rogues have to first undo the curse on Deathstalker that has bound the amulet to him.

Then they have to find an (impractical) four-bladed magical sword and thwart the apocalyptic plans of the evil sorcerer Nekromemnon (Nicholas Rice), his right-hand goon, the undead Jotak (Paul Lazenby) and their legions of monstrous Dreadite soldiers.

Written and directed by Psycho Goreman's Steven Kostanski (who was born three years after the original Deathstalker was released) Deathstalker (2025) is a loving tribute to vintage, low-budget, swords-and-sorcery flicks.

It is set in a land awash with Hawk The Slayer mist, and our heroes fight their way through a never-ending onslaught of Power Rangers (and Psycho Goreman) style rubber-suit monsters and Evil Dead-style stop-motion creations.

And, yes, the infamous porcine-faced humanoid makes a return appearance, although he's had a bit of a glow-up since the original movies. You may call him a pig-man, but to me he's a Gygaxian orc.

The ultimate weapon that Stalker is seeking - as I suspected the other day - is even an on-the-nose homage to Alert Pyun's The Sword and The Sorcerer.

In fact, the only thing that really differentiates this from the earlier Deathstalker movies is the total absence of sleaze. There's no nudity (gratuitous or otherwise), not even a hint of sexual tension between Stalker and Brisbayne. Instead, they are treated as <shudder> equals!

And, you know what, I didn't miss it. Deathstalker's linear plot is a blood-spattered, non-stop riot of over-the-top cartoonish violence, interspersed with some witty dialogue, subtle foreshadowing, and a cavalcade of rubbery monsters that could easily have just rolled out of an old school Dungeons & Dragons adventure.

You may recognise him as Kirill from John Wick or Agent Johnson from The Matrix Reloaded, but Daniel Bernhardt, who has a definite air of Jon Hamm in his mien, is superb as the titular antihero and the door is definitely left wide open at the end for sequels.

I, for one, would welcome further adventures with Bernhardt reprising the role.

The only nit I would pick with Kostanski's script - and this is as much personal taste as anything - is giving Deathstalker a backstory that necessitates him having a "pre-Deathstalker" name.

Honestly, this is completely unnecessary as the name could have been excised from the script and it would have read just as well if he was a "man with no name" type.

The film was part-funded by Kickstarter in 2024, but (for reasons) as there were no Blu-Rays (or even DVDs) on offer as incentives I just chipped in at the lowest level to get my name in the credits... because I'm easily pleased.

This did mean I had to import the Blu-Ray off my own back this week - thanks to eBay.

I know there are going to be those who moan about what's missing from the traditional Deathstalker formula (even though, surprisingly having now seen the film, it is front-and-centre in the comic book spin-off released by Vault Comics in the wake of the Kickstarter).

However, if anything, 2025's Deathstalker proves you can still make outrageous, trashy, dark fantasy sword-and-sorcery movies in this day and age that cater to audiences both old and new.

My "thank you" in the credits: best $10 I've ever invested in a Kickstarter 😉

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Albert Pyun

Back in 2022 we lost the B-movie maven Albert Pyun.

He'd hit the ground running in 1982 with his first movie, The Sword and The Sorcerer - which gave us the legendary blade-firing Tri-Sword.

And it was through this movie, which I wrote about on a previous blog back in 2011, that he achieved a god-like status in my eyes when he made contact with me via the comments section of that post.

My write-up had concluded with a trailer for Tales of An Ancient Empire,  the long-awaited sequel to The Sword and The Sorcerer.

It so happened that I had acquired what I thought was an 'official' DVD of that sequel via eBay, but as Albert would go on to explain that was actually an unsanctioned early cut that he was not best pleased to discover was out in the wild.

He sent me a link that allowed me to view the first 18 minutes of the actual cut of Tale of An Ancient Empire... and it was such an improvement on the first version I had seen.

I've always had a preference for sword-and-sorcery B-movies, so my knowledge of the rest of Albert's vast oeuvre was very limited.

IMDB, which has a lengthy biography of Albert, says this of him:

"He is credited with pioneering the cyborg sub-genre and is considered to be a maverick and renegade in independent genre cinema. With over 50 titles to his name, he has enjoyed a prolific career spanning 30+ years and has earned himself a fevered cult following."

I did enjoy his take on Captain America, from 1990.

From our brief interactions well over a decade ago, Albert came across as a genuinely nice, and enthusiastic, film fan and it was his willingness to reach out to me all those years ago that really made an impression.

That he was keen to engage with a random small-time blogger such as I and ensure that I saw, and reacted to, the film as he had actually envisioned it spoke volumes.

Albert Pyun passed away on November 26, 2022, at the age of 69.

Let's Talk About Stats, Baby, Let's Talk About You and Me

I love stats.

It all dates back to my school days and it's all because of Dungeons & Dragons and the other RPGs I was being introduced to in my formative years.

Those early roleplaying games were a gateway drug to broadening my vocabulary and learning the importance of numbers, percentages, chances etc
 
I may not have been the greatest pupil to ever walk the hallowed halls of my prep school or grammar school, but - on top of my creative writing I was developing at the time - I maintained my obsession with the magic of numbers.

Throw comic books into the mix and suddenly the revelation of Official Handbooks and Who's Whos from Marvel and DC were like catnip to me.

I'm pretty sure I picked up all the original run of DC Comic's A to Z Who's Who of their deep character roster at the time, but it was Marvel's Official Handbooks to The Marvel Universe that really blew my tiny socks off.

Entry from The Official Handbook of The Marvel Universe: Spider-Man 2005

These actually went into technical minutiae and even rated characters on strength, durability, fighting skills, energy projection, intelligence, strength etc

This was gold dust for an info-hungry gamer like me. Even if I wasn't looking to adapt a Marvel character directly into an RPG setting (almost certainly 2nd Edition Villains & Vigilantes), there was enough detail (even height and weight!) here to create a character based off of a Marvel character!

Sure, there were official Marvel roleplaying games, but these Handbooks felt like I was getting the details direct from the source.

To this day, I have an eBay alert set-up for Marvel Handbooks, as I've developed a special interest in the later "themed releases", comic book-sized updates featuring current characters from a particular storyline (e.g. the comparatively recent Empyre) or genre (such as 'horror' or Conan The Barbarian) .

People have devoted whole podcasts to these kinds of books (and it's easy to see why, there's just so much to talk about) and smaller companies have also dipped their toe into the "handbook" field (I try and grab them when I see them).

I primarily love comic books for the wild, superheroic, storylines and incredible art, but having these encyclopaedic volumes of facts and figures makes it all the more real for me, building a degree of verisimilitude that I can then port over into my gaming.

Well, that's the idea anyway...  

My treasured collection of The Official Handbook of The Marvel Universe A - Z

PULP PICTURE OF THE MONTH: Tarzan And The Leopard Woman (1946)

Growing up in the '70s, Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan reruns were a fixture on television's three channels. My favourite was Tarzan And The Leopard Woman.

Sadly, these days, despite the millions of channels we now have on offer, you rarely - if ever - see the old Tarzan movies, so I had to turn to eBay to pick up a bargain DVD box set of half-a-dozen Tarzan tales, including Tarzan And The Leopard Woman.

I hadn't seen this film for decades and had forgotten what it was that had so appealed to me as a youngster. Turns out it was cosplay.

Within moments I was transported back to my childhood; with my parents' old leopard-print car rug thrown over my shoulders and a handful of cutlery I became a leopard god-worshipping cultist again!

The Leopard Men, wearing their parents' old car rugs...

Tarzan And The Leopard Woman is a very simple, but smart, 75-minute tale, about a tribe of leopard god worshippers, who mask their attacks as the work of real leopards, trying to prevent British colonists from forcing 'civilization' on their home land.

The cultists are aided by Ameer Lazar (Edgar Barrier), a Western-educated native doctor who resents the West's domination of the area, but they foolishly think they're smarter than Tarzan.

Tarzan is joined by stalwart companions Jane (Brenda Joyce), Boy (Johnny Sheffield) and Cheeta the chimpanzee.

But trouble starts brewing on the home-front with the arrival of Kimba (Tommy Cook), who claims to be have gotten lost in the jungle, but is actually the younger brother of the Leopard Men's priestess Queen Lea (Acquanetta).

Young Kimba is torn between his boyish crush on Jane and his desire to prove himself as a warrior and return to the Leopard Men with her heart... literally.

Having tricked the colonials into thinking the attacks on caravans were simply the work of hungry leopards, and that they had now wiped them out, the Leopard Men then launch an attack on a caravan bearing four young women from Zambezi, destined to become teachers in the new British colony.

The women, along with Tarzan, Jane and Boy, are kidnapped - to be sacrificed to the Leopard God.

But luckily Cheeta is on hand to save the day!

The truth is, watched with 21st Century eyes, we have to have a certain amount of sympathy for the "bad guys", but - as is often the case - they simply go too far.

Tarzan And The Leopard Woman is a glorious slice of black-and-white pulp adventure, with the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden doubling nicely as the African jungle.

Queen Lea of The Leopard Men (Acquanetta).

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Conan and The Fox

Last week I wrote about how I encountered Conan The Barbarian in comic books (courtesy of the wonderful, old digest releases), but I reckon this must have also been around the same time I discovered him in literature as well.

This literary retrospection reminded me of the first Robert E Howard books I ever owned.

It must have been the very early 1980s when I found myself, during a shopping trip to Maidstone with my parents, as a young teenager in a discount book store (I seem to recall it was one of those shops that sold remaindered titles and craft bits and bobs, kind of a forerunner to today's The Works) and my eye was immediately drawn to the exciting covers of The Howard Collector and The Gods of Bel-Sagoth, which turned out to be anthology titles focusing on the output of Robert E Howard, father of Conan.

I also acquired Wereblood and Werenight, which would turn out to be game-changing sword-and-sorcery titles for me.

These short and pacy novels had an air of Fafhrd and The Gray Mouser about them, and I strongly suspect Fritz Leiber's dynamic duo were a major influence on author 'Eric Iverson'.

At that time, I was deep, deep, deep in the early bloom of my love of Dungeons & Dragons and all things RPG and those two novels were a major influence on me.

But then I could never find anything else written by Eric Iverson. I always hoped he'd continue the adventures of Gerin The Fox, the protagonist of Wereblood and Werenight.

It was only about a decade or so ago that, thanks to the creation of the Internet, I discovered that Eric Iverson was actually just a pen name of alternate history aficionado Harry Turtledove... and that there were more Gerin The Fox tales.

They turned out to be reasonably easy to track down at the time, on Amazon and eBay, but given how much I loved the original duology as a teenager I still haven't cracked open these later books for fear they can't recapture that magic.

It's probably about time I tried though...  

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Karen Allen - My Most Enduring Childhood Crush

I watched Raiders Of The Lost Ark again the other day, as it's one of my "comfort films" that help centre me in this crazy world in which we're living.

It is also the film I've seen most times and the most times in the cinema.

Part of the appeal, on top of its pulpy majesty, is the presence of the stunning Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood, the plucky two-fisted bar owner who doesn't take crap from either Indiana Jones or the Nazis.

Unlike most young boys of my generation I was never the big Princess Leia fan (that would come later as I grew to admire Carrie Fisher the person), it was all about the tough cookie Marion with her lovely freckles.

I clearly recall that the second time I watched Raiders on the silver screen, I spent the whole duration of the movie transfixed by the sight of Marion (ie Karen Allen), rather than watching the film as a whole.

From her iconic first appearance in her bar to her final moments with Indy, I was hypnotised.

After the second or third viewing at the cinema, 15-year-old me even wrote to the movie's production company, trying to get an autographed photo of her. Instead I got back a simple head shot, that I still have framed and on display in the office.

In more recent times, I acquired a signed photo of her from Raiders, through eBay, but the provenance is a bit iffy, so I'll never know for sure if it was really signed by her hand. But, to me, it's the real deal!