I've only read the first three of Stephen King's Dark Tower books - and that was many, many years ago (pre-stroke), so don't have particularly enduring memories of any of them beyond the first, The Gunslinger, which I have returned to a few times.
But I thought that lack of investment in the source material might be a benefit when coming to the cinematic adaptation, as I understood this was to be a 'different take' on the story, possibly a sequel or an alternate world view of the epic events of the multi-book mythology.
While I really liked the occasional Easter Egg nods to other works of Stephen King, what I wasn't expecting was a very generic, stereotypical teen adventure (with shades of The Mortal Instruments, The Neverending Story, Maze Runner, Hunger Games, and even the Star Wars Prequels with their demystifying of The Force through the introduction of midi-chlorians).
Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) is a troubled New York kid, living with his mum (Viking's Katheryn Winnick) and douche-bag step-dad (Nicholas Pauling), but plagued with dreams of an otherworldly Dark Tower and an ongoing battle between the Man In Black (True Detective's Matthew McConaughey) and the last of the gunslingers, Roland (The Wire's Idris Elba).
Jake runs away from home, to find a house he dreamed of, which contains a portal to Mid-World - a post-apocalyptic world-between-worlds.
There he discovers that not only were his dreams real and that he is gifted with something called The Shine (the same psychic power as evidence by little Danny in The Shining), but also that the magic-using Man In Black aka Walter O'Dim believes Jake's powers are strong enough to topple The Dark Tower.
Teaming up with Roland, Jake also learns that the Dark Tower is keeping the Multiverse safe from the demonic hordes that live on the outside, and Walter wants to bring the tower down and welcome in these murderous creatures.
The story jumps from Mid-World to our world, place to place, with the brevity of a CW hour-long drama, and even as it stands, The Dark Tower clocks in at less than an hour and a half duration - a fine length for a trashy, direct-to-DVD movie, but way short for a modern Hollywood blockbuster.
Going from zero to hero in no time at all, Jake manages to master The Shine (quicker than Luke Skywalker masters The Force in the Original Trilogy), and then is handed one of Roland's hefty pistols and appears to be a crack shot with that as well (again, with no background in firearms and, you know, being a kid and all).
It's as though all The Dark Tower's character development moments were trimmed down, or cut out completely, leaving just a framework of action-driven set pieces featuring people we know (or care) little about.
Although incidental characters are killed off (with no lasting emotional impact on the main characters), Roland is frequently injured (but seems to shake it off within a scene or two), and Jake does get captured by Walter, there's no real sense of jeopardy and grand scale in the goings-on.
There are moments where the action is quite thrilling, and Roland's various bullet tricks are neat, but the story never really engages beyond a superficial level, even with such talented and charismatic leads as Elba and McConaughey.
This is not the opening salvo of an epic to rival Lord Of The Rings or Star Wars that we were promised.
I understand that Mike Flanagan is currently pushing on with plans to develop an (unrelated) The Dark Tower series for Amazon Prime Video, but there's generally been tumbleweed on the news front as far as that's concerned lately.
At least, horror maven Flanagan has opted for a reboot, presumably learning from the mistakes of this movie, and returning to the source material that's held in such high esteem by legions of Stephen King fans.