Showing posts with label Doctor Who. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doctor Who. Show all posts

Friday, July 24, 2026

Archie Injects New Life Into Live-Action Zombies

When Jughead's beloved pet Hot Dog is killed in a hit and run, Jughead turns to the only person he knows who can help bring back his canine companion — Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Using dark, forbidden magic, Sabrina is successful and Hot Dog returns to the land of the living. But he's not the same... and soon, the darkness he brings back with him from beyond the grave begins to spread, forcing Archie and the gang to try to escape Riverdale!
There are some who say the zombie has had its day as a horror antagonist and should be left to rot.

Thankfully Disney doesn't listen to such naysayers and has greenlit a live-action adaptation of one of the finest, modern zombie stories in decades: Afterlife With Archie.

It is scheduled to debut on Disney Plus in Autumn 2027, which seems like the right time of year.

The show is based on the comic book series from 2013 by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Francesco Francavilla, with Aguirre-Sacasa acting as showrunner.

Not only was it an incredible horror comic, but Afterlife With Archie was also one of the strongest character-led comics of recent years.

Unfortunately, as well as generating great critical acclaim, fan adulation, and a reputation for the sheer brilliance of the story and its visuals, the comic is also remembered for never actually reaching a conclusion.

Of course, the tale had to have a Lovecraftian twist in it!
Much like Doctor Who, it was never officially cancelled, it's just been on an extended hiatus... resting (in peace).

Only the first 10 issues of Afterlife With Archie were published and while subsequent ones were solicitated they never actually appeared.

Ironically, this was largely because Aguirre-Sacasa's career in television took off, with Riverdale and Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

Let's hope that several episodes into the new streaming show, Aguirre-Sacasa doesn't get distracted by another 'better offer'.

Rumour has that more issues of the comic are also now "on the way", but no dates have been announced, and we'll believe that when we see it.

Of course, if the show 'overtakes' the story being told in the comics, we do run the risk of another Game of Thrones crash-and-burn. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Thursday, June 25, 2026

Outlander (2008)


Some ideas are so obvious - and brilliant - that you're surprised that no one has thought of them before.

As far as I am aware, Outlander is the first film to pit Eighth Century Norse Vikings against an extraterrestrial monster!

Jim Caviezel is Kainan, the sole humanoid survivor of a crashed spaceship in Norway, but he soon discovers that an alien Moorwen has tagged along - the dragon-like beasts that his race have been fighting - and it's rampaging around the woody neighbourhood.

Kainen is captured by Viking warrior Wulfric (Jack Huston) and taken before king Rothgar (John Hurt).

The "outlander" tries to convince the locals of the Moorwen's existence, but they prefer to blame the attacks on a giant bear.

Matters are further complicated by the return of Gunnar (Ron Perlman) and his troops, who believe Rothgar's men raided their village while they were away trading - little realising it was the Moorwen.

Rothgar's warrior daughter Freya (Sophia Myles, of vampire detective series Moonlight and Doctor Who's Girl In The Fireplace) takes a shine to Kainan, despite Wulfric's desire to have her, but Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain's script manages to sidestep the cliched love triangle sub-plot by, instead, focusing on the grudging respect that grows between Wulfric and Kainan.

Opening with suggestions of Predator and even the original Planet Of The Apes, Outlander quickly develops into a superb Dungeons And Dragons-flavoured "man against monster" movie and a strong contender for the title of Top Film Of 2009!

The excitement is non-stop, the battle scenes are superb, with just the right dash of gruesome (there's one particularly shocking decapitation which caught me by surprise) that culminates in a tense engagement between the Vikings - led by Wulfric and Kainan - and the Moorwen in the beast's charnel lair.

What helps to elevate this story above the usual fare though is the backstory of Kainan and the Moorwen which reveals that Kainan's people aren't really the "good guys" when you view the larger picture and it was their treatment of the Moorwen that provoked the whole situation in the first place.

There are a few minor plot wobbles along the way - Freya seems almost indestructible whenever she is cornered by the man-eating beastie and there is some ridiculously fast sword-making by the Vikings when they are preparing for the final showdown - but these are trivial issues compared to the sheer thrill ride of the movie as a whole.

Jim Caviezel is a solid action hero while the ever-reliable Ron Perlman and John Hurt both bring their A-Game in roles that were made for them.

A simple, without being simplistic, script, delivered by great actors on top form, aided by slick special effects and a particularly imposing monster, make Outlander's 110 minute duration pure entertainment of the highest calibre.

Friday, June 19, 2026

I Never Set Out To Be A Funko Collector!

My most recent Pops!: Dunk and Egg
I have no recollection of when I first acquired a Funko Pop! or even which one it was, but now - like something out of the Twilight Zone they seem to be multiplying and filling every nook and cranny in the house!

Wikipedia says of the divisive little figures:
"In 2010, the Funko Pop! line was created. Funko Pop! vinyl line are figures modelled in a style similar to the Japanese chibi style. The figures have large squarish heads, disproportionately small bodies, and large, circular black eyes"
I know some people don't get the appeal, but I find them very cute (and affordable) manifestations of the various niches within my geeky hobbies.

My most recent acquisitions were Dunk and Egg from the excellent A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms and I was very excited to receive a random (one in six, I believe) chase variant of Dunk, dressed as a knight. Of course, this means, at some point I'll need to pick up the original Dunk in scruffy clothes figure.

Originally, I had a single shelf over the door into the gamesroom that was to be the home of my modest Pop! collection, but then more continued to arrive and the horde spread out. So now you can find on book shelves and on top of glass cabinets in several rooms.

Most have been removed from their boxes (one of Rachel's rules for my collecting habits), except for a handful they consider truly collectible (mainly Pops! related to the Mortal Engines movie, based on the book by Philip Reeve).

I'll get round to releasing Dunk and Egg soon, but, at the moment, they seem quite content boxed-up as they are.

A few aren't particularly well-balanced (and have a habit of jumping off shelves in the middle of the night) and so have to lean back on books, but mostly the figures are remarkably stable and remain where they're placed.

Frieren on the far left and He-Man on the right 
Clark Kent changing into Superman, and Krypto
Sue Storm and the Kerblam! Man, hiding behind Scooby-Doo action figures

Pops! have become so pervasive in our house that Rachel even got me a personalised one: me in Pop! form (see below):

Keeping watch from on top of the new bookcase
My original shelf in the gamesroom - filled up very quickly!

Tuesday, June 16, 2026

Hawk (2011)


During The Dark Ages, a young pagan boy Rowan (Steffan Thomas), is raised in the wilds of Wales by his grandfather, Gawain (Philip Madoc), and taught the ways of wilderness survival, and respect for Nature and its protector, The Antlered God (Barry Cockers, with Sain Evans providing its otherworldly voice).

However, when Gawain dies, leaving the lad alone, Rowan imbibes of the forbidden hallucinogenic mushroom drink that his grandfather consumed, looking for guidance and explanations in the spirit realm.

Instead, enraged and confused, he commits a heinous crime against the Antlered God and is charged with making recompense, initially adopting an orphaned fledgling hawk (apparently, correctly termed an eyas).

A couple of decades later, adult Rowan (Robert Gwyn Davin) and his hawk realise a pair of innocent worshippers of The Nailed God (ie. Christians) - Ruth (Joanna Maw) and Jack (Mark Charles) - have wandered into his part of the wildlands and are in danger of setting off his hunting traps.

He races to save them...

Coming in at just under 40 minutes duration, Hawk is a gorgeous-looking short film, from the evocative costuming to the stunning Welsh landscapes that make full use of a widescreen.

Massive kudos to cinematographer Martin Hill and costume designer Anna Kovacevic for giving Hawk such high calibre visuals.

The film was written and directed by M.J. McMahon with co-writer Alex McArdell.

Initially the narrative comes across as almost glacial in its progress, taking its time to lay out a montage of the everyday existence of young Rowan and his wise grandfather, and possibly relying a bit too much on voice-over.

However, once the plot hits its tipping point, events unravel at a much faster rate.

So much so that you might be slightly confused by the goings-on, but taking a holistic view of the pagan world as presented, in concert with Gawain's teachings, you will realise the story is ultimately about karma, restoring the balance of nature.

For those bothered by such things (including me), I have to warn you that there's a surprising amount of (simulated) animal death and harm in this short fantasy drama.

Connoisseurs of vintage British television (and particularly the classic era of Doctor Who) should check Hawk out as it's the last on-screen appearance of the legendary Philip Madoc.

I came across the film via the official Hawk The Slayer fan page on Facebook, not that it has any connection to that epic movie beyond the word "Hawk" in its title.

Released by British production company Capture, Hawk is available to purchase via a variety of platforms, although I went old school and ordered the Blu-Ray edition from them.

Thursday, June 11, 2026

Not The Slayer, Nor The Hunter, Just Hawk



Hawk from CAPTURE on Vimeo.
The land holds many secrets, and one boy will learn them all.

When Rowan is taken away from the civilised world, his lessons in the wild begin.

Yet when he shatters the balance of nature, Rowan discovers another world beneath our own.

In that shadowy land of old gods and wild hunts, the divide between man and beast becomes uncertain and the fairy tales of childhood spring to life.

With only the guidance of a hunting hawk, Rowan must make amends for his crime, and choose between what is real, and what is not.

Since it's release in 2011, Hawk has picked up over 14 international award nominations, with 6 wins including ones at the Accolade Competition, TOHorror Film Festival, ShockerFest and Idyllwild Cinemafest
.
Writer/director M.J. McMahon's 40-minute short film Hawk was the last onscreen appearance of the late Philip Madoc of classic Doctor Who fame (as well as many other credits to his name, stretching back to the early 1960s).

Although it has no connection with my favourite Dungeons & Dragons movie, I first came across mention of this enigmatic entry in the annals of fantasy cinema on the Official Hawk The Slayer Facebook Group.

I suspect it will possibly be a triumph of atmosphere over story (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), but look out for a review in due course.


The Final Programme (1973)


We may still be waiting (optimistically) for a live-action Elric movie, but another aspect of Michael Moorcock's Eternal Champion found his way into the movies in The Final Programme.

Although set in the "far future" during the slow death throes of civilization, this wonderful film is cut from the same cloth as such '70s spy-fi fare as The Prisoner, The Avengers, Jason King and even Doctor Who.

Written, designed and directed by Robert Fuest (of Dr Phibes fame, but has he also directed some episodes of The Avengers back in the late '60s), The Final Programme (also known as The Last Days Of Man On Earth) is mesmerizing in its psychedelic weirdness, yet not to the extent that the story is lost to the visuals.

The story revolves around biscuit-obsessed Nobel Prize-winning physicist and playboy adventurer Jerry Cornelius (Jon Finch) who is approached by a team of scientists, fronted by the sultry and possibly not-quite-human Miss Brunner (Jenny Runacre), to retrieve some key microfilm from the vaults of his recently deceased father's mansion.

It so happens that Jerry was planning to go there anyway as he wanted to rescue his sister Catherine (an all too brief cameo by Sarah Douglas) from the clutches of his dangerous, drug-addicted brother Frank (Derrick O'Connor).

The microfilm contains the key to a scientific formula that could save mankind, by kickstarting the next stage of evolution as an hermaphroditic, self-replicating, immortal human being. Unfortunately, there is still one ingredient missing...

For my money, this film was pure Moorcock, especially the non-traditional climax which these days would have had people crying out for a sequel but in the good old days was left suitably open and provocative.

The story embraces its bonkers' excesses, but as I said above it doesn't let this wash away the central storyline of the piece as happens all too often is such outré movies.

It certainly helps that the two central performers - the amazing Jenny Runacre and the suave Jon Finch - are so charismatic, with Finch's Cornelius almost certainly being an inspiration for Austin Powers.

As well as Sarah Douglas's brief appearance, the eagle-eyed - and eared - will also spot future star (and mother of Georgia Moffett, David Tennant's wife) Sandra Dickinson in her first big screen role, as a waitress in a mud-wrestling-themed restaurant.

While Moorcock himself was not a fan of Fuest's take on the story, he praised Finch for his portrayal of Jerry Cornelius during an interview at the BFI about the movie in 2010.

Wednesday, June 10, 2026

Noah (2014)


Although I'm not a religious person, I've always had a soft spot for film's based on Biblical stories for some reason, but Noah is the closest yet to crossing over into my usual playground of epic fantasy or science-fiction.

While I haven't really studied the Great Flood myth, I'm pretty sure I'd have remembered rock giants (fallen angels bound to the Earth by rock and mud, resembling elemental creatures from The Neverending Story or The Hobbit) helping Noah build his Ark.

Darren Aronofsky's take on the story certainly owes as much to Tolkien as it does The Bible - occasionally even straying into B-movie sword-and-sorcery territory - with its surfeit of magical items and mysticism.

Russell Crowe plays a surprisingly misanthropic and nihilistic Noah, a vegetarian action hero who believes The Creator wants to wipe all humanity from the planet and his job, and that of his family, is purely to shepherd all the animals to the new, post-Flood world and then die out, so the innocent animals can run free.

Noah has visions of The Creator's genocidal plans to obliterate his failed experiment from the Earth - like a child with an Etch-A-Sketch shaking his messed-up picture into oblivion so he can start again from scratch - and so sets about building the Ark, to preserve the creatures of the land and air (the fish have to make their own arrangements).

However, having grown a forest from a seed left over from The Garden Of Eden and recruited the rock giants to help with the Ark building, Noah attracts the attention of local warlord and one-dimensional bad guy Tubal-cain (Ray Winstone), who decides he's going to take the Ark to save his meat-eating people (they believe they gain 'strength' from eating the flesh of animals) from the coming deluge.

Naturally Noah and the giants have something to say about this.

Along for the ride are Noah's wife, Naameh (Jennifer Connelly), his sons Shem (Douglas Booth), Ham (Logan Lerman) and Japheth (Leo McHugh Carroll) and Shem's lady-friend, Ila (Emma Watson), who is barren until magically cured by Noah's grandfather Methuselah (Anthony Hopkins).

Noah's kids quickly realise that their dreams of repopulating the Earth after the Flood are slightly flawed as the men outnumber the women in their group and the only women are their mum and Ila, who is - at that point - infertile.

What passes for a romantic sub-plot essentially involves Ham running into the nearby community, grabbing the first woman he meets - a girl called Na'el (Madison Davenport) - and deciding she'll do for a wife (still a better love story than Twilight, though).

As a brief aside, I can't help but guess that whatever Tubal-cain's followers were getting up to must have been some really nasty stuff if the Creator was so determined to wipe them all off the face of the Earth, but is totally okay with what's happening here at the moment (e.g. Iran, Gaza, Ukraine, the continued rise of the Right in Western nations etc)

Once the Flood comes, Tubal-cain stows away on the Ark for the better part of nine months (again, I don't remember this from Sunday School), with the aid of Ham, surviving on an all-you-can-eat buffet of slumbering animals (presumably he ate the unicorns, dinosaurs, dragons etc and those cute armadillo/dog creatures that we saw early on in the movie).

There's a lot that isn't explained in Noah (and perhaps that's not a bad thing, actually). For instance, the TARDIS-like capacity of the Ark to hold two of every species is hand-waved (perhaps, as they were all sleeping, Noah's brood stacked them neatly like containers in a warehouse) and I don't get why the sloughed skin of The Serpent from the Garden Of Eden is an artefact for Good?

And when you look at the surviving unit of humanity at the end of movie: just who is going to father future generations and repopulate the planet, anyway (without getting into icky, incestuous inbreeding territory)?

Conversely there are some clever ideas in there, such as the Flood waters rising out of the Earth, which kind of circumvents the physical impossibility of sea levels rising to such a degree all around the world - and presumably that was where the water returned to, when the Floods receded.

But for all my ribbing of the various plot holes (many of which, of course, are carried over from the source material anyway), Noah is an impressive feat of movie making,  a powerful and engaging film even if you are not of a religious bent.

Aronofsky has brought his usual visual eye to the story giving it an epic, fantastical feel that (almost) transcends its specific religious origins (The Flood myth is found in many early cultures anyway and the ark probably has its origins in Babylonian stories that pre-date the Bible).

I don't know Aronofsky's personal views on religion, but Noah manages to be thought-provoking but not preachy with Noah himself being a complex and interesting character, of a far darker temperament than you might expect, channelling some mighty Old Testament fury not normally associated with the builder of the Ark.

Tuesday, June 9, 2026

Jabberwocky (1977)


A Dark Age kingdom is being terrorised by a mysterious monster, driving much of its populace to seek shelter behind the walls of the main city.

Eventually doddery, old King Bruno the Questionable (comedy legend Max Wall) decides to organise a brutal jousting tournament to find "a champion" to slay the beast.

This is despite appeals by his equally aged Chancellor, Passelewe (the always excellent John Le Mesurier of Dad's Army and the Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy radio plays) who would rather the search was conducted in such a way as to not keep killing off the land's knights.

Meanwhile, upon the death of his father, clueless and clumsy Dennis Cooper (future national treasure Michael Palin) decides to leave the village where he grew up and move to the city, to start afresh.

This leads to a series of chaotic, often slapstick, set-pieces as he bumbles his way through every encounter from trying to get into the city to being mistaken for a prince-in-disguise by Bruno's daughter, the princess (Deborah Fallender).

Her hand-in-marriage and half the kingdom are being offered by the king to whoever kills the troublesome monster.

After his only friend, Ethel the lusty squire (Steptoe and Son's Harry H. Corbett), is accidentally killed, Dennis ends up as the squire to the eventual champion of the joust, Red Herring (Dave Prowse aka Darth Vader), and the two brave men set out into the mist-dappled lands, looking for the fearful monster.

However, the church and the rich merchant-nobles of the city aren't so keen to see the creature murdered because it is surprisingly good for business, as people are buying and praying more.

Therefore, they engineer an ambush by the Black Knight (also Dave Prowse), and his small gang of thugs, to take out Red Herring - and Dennis - before they actually reach the monster's lair.

I can't believe I was halfway through my sixtieth cycle around the sun before I made time to see Jabberwocky, a wonderfully, very British, dark comedy with smatterings of gory Grand Guignol.

While strictly not a Monty Python movie, it is written and directed by Terry Gilliam, stars Michael Palin and features several Python regular collaborators, as well as a host of British comedy faces of the era.

There's also the visual, grimy Medieval verisimilitude of 1975's Monty Python and The Holy Grail (which Gilliam co-directed) and a similar picaresque throughline to 1979's Life of Brian.

The monster - which may be the Jabberwocky of the title, but is never directly called that - remains unseen until the climax, with Gilliam instead employing canny, low-budget camera techniques as would be used in Sam Raimi's 1981 Evil Dead (and then the rest of that gore-drenched franchise).

Once we finally see it, the Jabberwocky (a man in a costume) is more Classic Doctor Who era alien than glorious Sir John Tenniel illustration, but that just heightens the surreal craziness of the film.

The film's title, and monster's possible name, comes, of course, from the famous nonsense poem in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There.

Snatches of the poem are heard, Greek Chorus-like, throughout the film, recited by an unseen - and unidentified - Punch and Judy puppeteer, heightening the mythological - or fairy tale - nature of the adventure.

Ultimately, the 105-minute Jabberwocky may not be as laugh-out-loud funny as much of Gilliam's other work, but it still manages to be subversive and smart behind its veneer of blood, guts, and toilet humour.

Friday, May 29, 2026

Hammer Of The Gods (2013)


Apocalypse Now meets Dungeons & Dragons in the brutal (if derivative) low-budget, Viking action flick Hammer Of The Gods.

Prince Steinar (Nashville's Charlie Bewley), arrives in England ahead of his own army, to meet up with his father, King Bagsecg (Game Of Thrones' James Cosmo), for a war on the Saxons - only to find that his father has already engaged in the enemy in battle and come off worse.

The dying king entrusts Steiner with finding his estranged first-born, the legendary Hakan (Da Vinci's Demons' Elliot Cowan), to take his rightful place at the head of the Viking hordes.

Steiner sets out with his best friend, Hagen (Clive Standen aka Rollo from Vikings), foul-mouthed berserker Grim (Michael Jibson), superstitious Jokul (Guy Flanagan), and his cowardly younger brother Vali (Theo Barklem-Biggs).

Along the way - like any good Dungeons & Dragons overland expedition - they have a series of random encounters (all resolved through the violence, of course) and join up with a friend of Hakan, Ivar The Boneless (Ivan Kaye aka King Aelle from Vikings) and his slavegirl Agnes (Alexandra Dowling aka Queen Anne from the BBC series The Musketeers).

Encounters with masked Saxons and party in-fighting see Steiner's adventuring group gradually  whittled down until he finally finds his mysterious brother - which is when things go really Apocalypse Now!

Hakan has 'gone native' - à la Colonel Kurtz - and is living in a cave with a mob of cannibalistic Picts who worship him as a god. He even has a scribe Ulric (Game Of Thrones' Francis Magee) on hand to record his proclamations, in homage to Dennis Hopper's photojournalist in Apocalypse Now.

Directed by Farren Blackburn (who gave us the awful Doctor Who Christmas Special: The Doctor, The Widow And The Wardrobe), Hammer Of The Gods does a pretty decent job of masking its budgetary restrictions by dressing up its action-driven plot with a general hand-wavy 'otherworldly' vibe.

That aspect doesn't work quite as well as in Valhalla Rising - which uses a very similar atmosphere for its own particular Viking take on Apocalypse Now and Aguirre, The Wrath Of God - but Hammer Of The Gods still delivers in the brutality stakes and a solid, unambiguous ending.

This isn't a cerebral meditation on life, fate and religion, but a well-acted, violent, low budget action movie about a band of Vikings on a cross-country quest for something other than treasure.

Thursday, April 30, 2026

THROWBACK THURSDAY: #TimFest 2025


A year ago (late April, 2025) we threw a party to mark the 20th anniversary of my life-changing aortic aneurysm, or more accurately to celebrate the extra 20 years (so far) that I have had since the National Health Service (NHS) saved my life.

Here's the pictures - and text - I used to mark the occasion on the blog: 
Much to Rachel's surprise, it was actually my idea to host this event (I am, if you didn't already know, notoriously anti-social). I'd seen that 'new' Doctor Who was 20 years old this year and I realised that my brush with death had come several episodes into the regenerated show's first season.

Up until this year, I have been very nervous - almost superstitious - about even knowing we'd reached another anniversary and I never wanted to know the exact date or too many details of the circumstances (beyond the obvious facts that I had suffered a dissecting aortic aneurysm and then a stroke on the operating table).

But, this year, I finally accepted that two decades was far enough removed from the original, awful, event that maybe it was time to invite friends and family round to share a few drinks, have some nice food, and - at Rachel's suggestion - even raise a bit of money for the Aortic Dissection Awareness charity.

While Rachel - who actually organised the whole shindig, invited the guests, prepared the food, decorated the house etc - called the event "20 Years of Tim", others were calling it "Tim Day" and even "TimFest". 

I'll confess while it was immensely flattering to have all these people turn up to celebrate "me", it was also incredibly overwhelming and every so often I had to find a few calming minutes of quiet solitude with Alice and Obi (my two favouritest dogs in the whole, wide world).

Poor Alice, who is dealing with her own medical issues, seemed rather out of sorts as well, with so many people in "her space", that she didn't even engage in her usual rough and tumble with Obi (she's renowned for bullying him mercilessly, despite being a fraction of his size!).

I was quite gobsmacked by how much Acrobatic Flea (my signature character from our old games of Villains & Vigilantes) branding there was for the day - from the lovely T-shirt that Rachel's parents had made for me to the cup cakes created by the wonderful baker over the road from us.

Just before the group photograph was taken, Rachel gave a short, tearful, speech about how brilliant everyone had been in the wake of my sudden hospitalisation - from the amazing doctors and nurses of the NHS to all our friends who had pitched in to help us get through this. It even got to me, despite having already heard a dry run the night before, and a good number of other attendees. 

On the food table was a small framed poster with a QR code that people could scan, if they wished to, to make a charitable donation to Aortic Dissection Awareness.  

There was light-hearted talk about making Tim Day an annual event, which I did relay to Rachel, but I think one social event in 20 years is probably quite enough.
Top Dogs: Obi, the visitor (front), and our beloved Alice.
FAMILY PORTRAIT: Me, Rachel (holding Alice) and Rachel's parents
There were even garden games available for the young - and young-at-heart
EX-CUPCAKE! We're lucky to have a gifted cake maker live across the road from us
Excuse me, there's a Flea on my cupcake!
A mere fraction of the food and drink Rachel provided on the day
While the event was never intended as a "gift giving" day I was stunned
by the unexpected gifts I did receive.

Thursday, March 26, 2026

Beauty Is In The Eye of The Blogger

Image by Elle from Pixabay
RPG Menagerie is a new feature launched this week by prodigious blogger and podcaster Michel 'Siskoid' Albert on Siskoid's Blog of Geekery.

Renowned for his in-depth knowledge of Doctor Who, Star Trek, comic books, movies, and roleplaying games - to mention but a few strings to his bow - Siskoid's latest offering on his 'must-read' blog is:
"... a new series of posts looking at role-playing game monsters/threats from across all games (probably with a preference for vintage games), but not an entirely serious look."
The first entry casts an eye over that stalwart of the Dungeons & Dragons 'verse: the beholder.

Friday, March 13, 2026

Six Degrees of Separation


The movie Hombre is one of my favourite Westerns. It was recommended to me by a tutor on my scriptwriting degree course (as inspiration for the Western I was writing as part of my finale project).

The movie is based upon a novel by the late and lauded Elmore Leonard.

The other day, randomly, I picked up my copy of Hombre and read the first chapter. This got me wondering what stories were included in the chunky hardback, The Complete Western Stories of Elmore Leonard, which I'd purchased last year.

The book flopped open to a title page I hadn't seen before... revealing that it was signed by Leonard himself.


This made me grin like a loon, as I'm a sucker for such dedications in books. Remember my excitement when I found the signed book in a sale at our local second hand book store.

Being a homebody generally, it's very unlikely that I'll get to pose for selfies with my favourite authors, actors etc

So I prefer "signed items" instead. I have a collection of signed Philip Reeve books (my favourite author) and head shots of stars of Classic era Doctor Who - from Carole Ann Ford and William Russell to Sophie Aldred and Sylvester McCoy. These latter pictures are proudly framed and displayed on the office wall, while my Philip Reeve library has its own shelf in one of the lounge cupboards.   

Back in February, I acquired from an online store (not Amazon) a limited edition (#365 of 750), first edition (with red page edges) of Red Sonja: Consumed by Gail Simone (which was signed by the author).

I was most delighted by this, and then when I shared it on BlueSky, Gail herself replied, hoping I'd enjoy the book.


The other week, a postcard winged its way across The Atlantic, signed by Dungeons & Dragons YouTube "influencer" Ginny Di.

This was a reward for supporting her Patreon (which I've been a member of since 2020).

It wasn't just Ginny's signature - and the details of an enchanted weapon to be used in a RPG - that made this magical though. It was the fact that a postcard had managed to find its way over here to the UK without getting mangled or lost. 

A signature is a sign of caring (I know many things get signed in a production line-like setting, but the fact is the creator is still doing it).

I may spend 90 per cent of my life within the four walls of our house, but receiving a signed item from someone whose work I admire (even it's purely by chance, such as the Elmore Leonard book) is a connection.

At one end of the process, the artist has signed their work and at the other end I get to hold it in my hands and appreciate the time spent both creating their art and signing my book, picture, postcard etc

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

Beastmaster 2 - Through The Portal Of Time (1991)


Several years ago Rachel's dad helped us wire up a variety of technical doohickies to our TV in the old house, which meant that - after a very long break - we finally had, for a while, a working VHS player again in the house. I know, very retro!

Which brings us to: Beastmaster 2 - Through The Portal Of Time, an old VHS tape I've had knocking about for ages - but with no way to play it.

And you know what, it wasn't half as bad as I'd heard.

The Beastmaster Dar (Marc Singer) is leading a rebellion against wizard-warrior Arklon (a scenery-devouring turn from Wings Hauser) - who turns out to be Dar's brother, for all the difference that makes.

Arklon teams up with jive-talking witch Lyranna (Superman II's Sarah Douglas) who happens to know that Arklon's main weapon, the magical Key Of Magog, can open a portal she has been studying... to a parallel world (not "through time").

This parallel world turns out to be early '90s L.A. and Lyranna also happens to know of a mighty Earth weapon called the "neutron detonator", which Arklon immediately wants to get his hands on.

Complicating matters further is annoying senator's daughter Jackie Trent (Kari Wuhrer) who accidentally drives her sports car through the portal - from Earth - and ends up befriending Dar and his menagerie of animal helpers.

Jackie is captured by Arklon and Lyranna and Dar chases them all back through the portal to Earth - where Dar is promptly arrested by the L.A. police.

This all unfolds at breakneck speed and before you know it, Arklon has trashed a department store and broken into a military base (with Lyranna's aid) to steal the neutron detonator. There's some double-crossing on the baddies' side - and Lyranna eventually disappears out the picture.

Arklon proceeds to demonstrate what a total moron he is, after standing right in front of the open portal back to his world, by deciding to drive back into L.A. - forgetting that his nemesis can control animals (luckily so do the scriptwriters) - and make his final stand in the Los Angeles Zoo!

The dialogue throughout is pretty dire, with Jackie's constant unfunny one-liners a particular nuisance and the animals' occasional "humorous" thought balloons totally groan-worthy, but the pacing and action is solid. The whole "fish-out-of-water" scenario isn't overdone either - with Arklon,  for instance, using his ability to drain others' memories adapting to 20th Century Earth very quickly.

Quite mercifully, no cliché romantic sub-plot develops between Dar and Jackie and, instead, they remain friends and travelling compaigns throughout their adventures.

Beastmaster 2 is a rather camp sequel to the classic original, but approached from a gaming perspective, it certainly suggests a leftfield campaign plot-twist worthy of the great Gary Gygax himself.

What old school Dungeon Master worth his salt wouldn't want to send his player-characters on a journey to contemporary Earth?

And don't worry, the portal has a TARDIS-like ability that grants everyone, from both sides, the automatic power to understand each others' language.

Wednesday, March 4, 2026

DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Deathstalker III - The Warriors From Hell (1989)


Third Deathstalker film in three days and third actor portraying the lead character, but at least we have the original scriptwriter back, so Deathstalker III: The Warriors From Hell should be up there with the first Deathstalker, right?

Sadly, wrong. Although a lot better than yesterday's Deathstalker II and thankfully the new lead, John Allen Nelson, can tell the difference between being cocky and being a dick, this is very pedestrian fare totally devoid of the gonzo insanity that made the first the classic that it is.

The DVD case even, amusingly, features stills of Rick Hill (the original Deathstalker) and Bernard Erhard (Munkar the wizard from the original movie), even though neither have anything to do with The Warriors From Hell (more's the pity).

Gifted with part of a magic crystal by a dying princess, Deathstalker learns that when the three parts are reunited they reveal the location of Erendor, a "lost city made of treasure" (no, I'm not exactly sure what is meant by that - and when we finally see the city at the end it just looks like an everyday, cod-Medieval town).

Complicating matters, the evil sorcerer Troxartes (Thom Christopher) has taken over the princesses' kingdom, The Southland, and is ruling it with his platonic mistress, Camisarde (Terri Treas). She wants to take their relationship to the next level, but the cool wizard has his eyes set on the dead princesses' twin sister, Carissa (Carla Herd), who he believes has part of the magic crystal that will pair up with his own fragment.

On his quest, Deathstalker is kinda helped by a beardy - but ultimately rather useless - wizard called Nicias (Aarón Hernán), who bears a disturbing likeness to Alan Moore and whose main magical ability appears to be a vanishing trick that involves him spinning round and round in his large fur coat.


Meanwhile, Troxartes has been using his own magic to resurrect warriors he claims he killed and then, for some reason, had buried in the castle crypt. Before you can cough "bullshit", Deathstalker is chatting with one of these faux-zombies about how he actually killed the warrior the first time.

Whiny Carissa swaps sides more often than Adric in Doctor Who and only, finally, decides that Deathstalker is on the side of right when she overhears Troxartes discussing her murder with Camisarde - who, it has to be added, appears to have a total, unexplained, change of heart by the time the credits roll and is last seen snuggling up to Nicias.

Deathstalker also finds time to hook up with valley-living, potato-eating, horse-raising, wild woman Marinda (Claudia Inchaurregui) who brings her bow skills to the party and ultimately has a "meaningful" death, which everyone soon forgets about.

The story gets a bit messy along the way, when a third fragment of the crystal appears out of the blue.

In the end everything boils down to a big brawl at Troxartes' castle with Deathstalker being backed-up by the zombie-warriors (after he frees their souls from bondage) and a bunch of villagers who, I thought, had nothing to do with anything, against the wizard's bucket-helmeted soldiers.

Saturday, February 14, 2026

A New Excalibur Is Being Forged

Before Tolkien.

Before Narnia.

Before fantasy became English.

From the mist-shrouded mountains of Wales comes a forgotten origin — a myth born in the land itself.

Excalibur returns to the earliest roots of the Arthurian legend — mysterious, magical, ancient, and forged in Welsh myth.

Featuring Sylvester McCoy (Doctor Who, The Hobbit) in the official teaser. Bringing Fantasy Home to Wales. Follow the journey at www.excaliburfilm.com
Multi award-winning writer, director and producer, Dan Freeman's Excalibur, a £13 million fantasy feature drawing directly from Welsh mythological sources, has officially entered pre-production.

Written and directed by Dan Freeman (The Minister of Chance, Death Comes to Time), Excalibur tells the story behind the Arthurian legend as it appears in early Welsh tradition, including material associated with The Mabinogion, rather than later Anglo-French medieval romance.

The film aims to reclaim Arthur as a Welsh hero and place Wales at the centre of the fantasy tradition it helped inspire.

Dan said:
"We're not remaking the English version of Arthur. John Boorman did that in 1981 and it was perfect. We're going back to the source – the Welsh myths that inspired Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and every fantasy epic that followed. This time though we’re making it in Wales, about Wales, for Wales."
You can learn more about Dan's plans, the movie, and the creators involved at the website, and even get involved and support it through a monthly subscription.

Saturday, February 7, 2026

The Unsettling Nature of Quatermass


I have three movies I call my "comfort films" that I will try and watch whenever I see them listed on the TV schedules or can turn to (via blu-rays, dvd, or streaming) whenever I'm feeling a bit down and need an escape hatch.

These are Raiders of The Lost Ark, George Pal's The Time Machine, and Quatermass and The Pit.

To me, these are perfect, review-proof works of genius that I can never tire of watching, all with deeper meanings and impacts on my life than what is shown on screen.

Today, we're thinking about the "adventures" of Professor Bernard Quatermass.

My first exposure to the world of Quatermass was the apocalyptic 1979 sci-fi thriller series known simply as Quatermass.

This bleak, four-part miniseries had a major impact on its 13-year-old viewer when first screened; implanting in me a fascination not just for adventure stories set amongst urban decay but the heroic futility of standing up to alien creatures of unimaginable power and destructive capabilities.

I am sure there is some synchronicity between my first viewing of this televisual tale and my discovery - not long afterwards - and immediate love for, the works of HP Lovecraft.

From Cthulhu to Galactus, all these cosmic entities can trace their influence on me back to watching Quatermass on ITV in the late 70s.

So inspired by this series was I that I also clearly remember creating (but never playing) a Quatermass role-playing game system and, once we started playing the comic book RPG Villains & Vigilantes, I named an alien race after the "enemy" in Quatermass - The Harvesters... although they were nowhere near as powerful as that entity!

Set at the end of the 20th Century (the future when this was made), Quatermass sees the return to London of Bernard Quatermass (Sir John Mills), founder of the British Rocket Group which pioneered space travel in the UK (see The Quatermass Experiment of 1953 and its cinematic remake).

He's been living in seclusion in Scotland and is unaware of the anarchy spreading through England, with gangs roaming the streets, power cuts and the general collapse of society. He is looking for his runaway granddaughter and instead meets up with a fellow scientist (Simon MacCorkindale).

Also roaming the land are a group known as The Planet People - hippies who gather at stone circles, prophesying a mass transmigration of those who "believe" to a Utopian alien planet.

Then the beams of light start coming from the sky, hitting the places where people have gathered and seemingly disintegrating them; although the Planet People believe they have been "taken to The Planet".

Seen now Quatermass can seem slightly melodramatic in places, but it can still deliver an incredible impact with its portrayal of a very British Apocalypse, complete with polite graffiti, a plate of sandwiches and a thermos of tea.

It faces themes of science versus belief, youthful enthusiasm versus the experience of age and the human spirit's unwavering strength in the face of overwhelming odds.

If HP Lovecraft were alive in the 1970s, this is exactly what he would have been writing - man as an insignificant speck in the Universe, caught up in events way beyond his understanding and ability to comprehend.

Don't expect answers, explanations or convenient happy endings - there is no Deus Ex Machina in the world of Bernard Quatermass... it is that God In The Machine that is "harvesting" the human race!

Originally created by writer Nigel Kneale (who also penned The Stone Tape) in the paranoia-fuelled 1950s, Quatermass - an intellectual professor defending the Earth from extraterrestrial threats through the use of brains rather than brawn - is an obvious precursor of The Doctor (who shares many of the same traits and convictions, despite being an alien himself).

Kneale wrote three original Quatermass serials for television: The Quatermass Experiment (an astronaut returning to Earth unknowingly carrying an alien creature which is continually mutating); Quartermass II (aliens take over a research plant on the South Coast); and Quatermass And The Pit (workmen in London unearth an old, crashed spaceship and release 'psychic ghosts').

I discovered all three of these stories through Arrow's script books, published in the late '70s, almost certainly released to cash in on Quatermass.

Later would come the radio series The Quatermass Memoirs, first broadcast as part of a season about 'The Fifties' on Radio 3 in 1996, and while some of the old news clips are a bit scratchy, the whole drama-documentary is an informative, inspirational and terrifying reflection of a time when the world was gripped by fear of nuclear holocaust.

It is a five-part documentary about the origins of the character, intercut with genuine 1950s news broadcasts, exerpts from the original serials, recollections and anecdotes from Nigel Kneale and an original mini-play by Kneale, set in the 1970s, wherein Bernard Quatermass, having retired to the wilds of Scotland (as mentioned at the start of Quatermass), discusses his life with a young journalist.


Long before Space:1999, UFO, Thunderbirds and even Doctor Who, there was ... Quatermass.

Throughout most of the 1950s, Quatermass was a British science fiction institution which appeared both on TV and in the cinema. Yet perhaps more importantly, it was the first adult based, dramatic science fiction television show in the world.

Now, over 70 years later, Quatermass not only lives on through its devoted fan base, but is a name which continues to resonate with science fiction fans both young and old.

In this special retrospective study, we look back upon the history of this highly celebrated franchise, whilst not only addressing the positive aspects the series brought to the science fiction genre but also the many challenges it faced in doing so.

Friday, January 30, 2026

ASPIRATIONS FOR 2026

Don't Want To Rush These Things: After 19 years, work shall begin on my castle
As we reach the end of January (which seems to have dragged on for about 30 weeks) I thought it was about time to lock in some aspirations for 2026.

HEALTH

Obviously after last year's health debacle (losing about seven months of the year because my legs stopped working properly and being in a great deal of discomfort), I want to get better this year.

More exercise and a healthier (urrgghhh!) diet are key. Hopefully, at the very least, I can bring my blood sugar levels down so I can get the steroid injections in my spine that will allow me the freedom to do more beneficial exercises.

READING

I've already stated that I want to get back into reading more this year (eyes willing), both novels and comic books, as both have slipped in the last seven or eight months.

I'm hoping to dig into my collection of recent Conan the Barbarian pastiche hardbacks, as well as the upcoming new Philip Reeve novel, and a random assortment of other books that either I've purchased for myself or were gifts.

I also have a massive backlog of comics to get through. Even though my pull-list continues to shrink, fresh issues keep arriving every month and I keep getting further and further behind.

My Read Judge Dredd Every Day is going... okay. I read either a story from volume one of the Complete Case Files or fresh material from current issues of the weekly 2000AD or the monthly Megazine pretty much every day. Pretty much.

CASTLE

For my 40th birthday (god, I can't believe it's been that long), Rachel's dad built me a tower that I could then decorate - along the line's of Rachel's dolls house hobby - and while I've collected a lot of "bits" to go inside it, two decades on and I still haven't started proper work on it. 

I keep flip-flopping on the theme of the tower in my mind (sometimes it's a superhero HQ, sometimes it's a U.N.I.T. base from Doctor Who, and sometimes it's even a Dungeons & Dragons-inspired fantasy castle!). This year I really must get on with it.

I'D RATHER BE KILLING MONSTERS

The tabletop roleplaying Facebook group I started over six years ago, I'd Rather Be Killing Monsters, is ticking over nicely, with almost 460 members but I'd really like to kick it up a gear.

I want to make the group more interactive, get more conversations flowing.

At the moment it feels as though there's about a dozen of us doing all the heavy-lifting. I'd like to get more members of the group engaged and talking about their own games, the campaigns they're running or playing in, monster/treasure/trap ideas etc

And, of course, I'd always like to increase the membership.

PROJECT 60

This is the big one for me, my core focus for the geeky projects I want to have in place before I turn 60 at the end of this year. Yes, it includes everything I've set in stone above but the two major things I'm channelling my energies into are establishing a singular roleplaying campaign for me to run - that will have legs - and a (skirmish) wargame with painted miniatures and terrain that I can play solo or invite friends over to play.

The current top contender for a roleplaying game is the anime fantasy Twilight Sword.

When it comes to skirmish games, for a while I was spreading myself a bit thin by embracing several genres and settings, but I've finally decided that I need to concentrate on just the Western game Dead Man's Hand.

I'd hoped to get started on terrain building and painting last year, but my osteoarthritis put the kibosh on that. This year I will make up for that.

Monday, January 19, 2026

Is This The Secret Sauce Recipe?

Player-characters from Adam's Star Trek Adventures campaign
A shared love of the specific setting (I.P.) is the secret sauce that turns a roleplaying campaign into a potential "forever campaign".

I had this Road to Damascus moment reading two brilliant pieces, just over a year ago, by my dear friend Adam Dickstein - on his Barking Alien blog - about the success of his on-going, decade-long (at leastStar Trek Adventures campaign: Why Star Trek: Prosperity Works and Command Crew To The Bridge.

Both articles are a great, inspirational, read, and helped coalesce a variety of random thoughts I've had over recent years about why ideas I've had for games haven't worked out.

Sharing Adam's attraction to licenced RPGs (or, at least, RPGs that use established media properties as potential settings), it struck me that the 'secret sauce' to the success of his long-running Star Trek game was the fact that all his players were not just sci-fi fans but dyed-in-the-wool Star Trek fans.

They know, and understand, what is expected of their characters to satisfactorily emulate the goings-on of the Star Trek universe, without the game devolving into a bunch of phaser-armed murderhobos raiding Klingon outposts for whatever loot they could find.

The players' Get Out of Jail Free card
Imagine unleashing a gaming group who weren't into Doctor Who on the Whoniverse of the Doctor Who Roleplaying Game... with their own TARDIS.

The chances are anarchy would ensue as they realised they could, at the bare minimum, dodge pretty much any set-up the gamesmaster threw at them (if they wanted to) because of their access to a magic box capable of travelling anywhere in space and time!

Let alone coming to terms with the "talk first, fight last" attitude of the game system!

Or picture a superhero campaign setting with a group of players that doesn't read comics or even, particularly, like the Marvel or DC movies!

Again, it would just become simply a power fantasy as the players would have no understanding of - or, necessarily, respect for - the tropes of the works that the gamesmaster was seeking to draw upon.

There's a good chance the game would soon, unintentionally, replicate Prime Video's The Boys, but with the players' characters being their world's answer to the villainous Seven.

Such set-ups might work for a few sessions, even a mini-campaign, because such weighty matters may not be of such great importance initially (except where they impact the specific adventure). But for a game to have legs everyone definitely needs to be on the same page.

Black Adam rips Terra-Man in half in DC's 52;
not the actions of a good guy!
Sure, the gamesmaster could write a lengthy introductory booklet to the setting (I know, I've done it MANY times), but there's no guarantee anyone will actually read it and take on board what you are trying to get across.

You could also have a "session zero" where you try and spell it all out, face-to-face with your players, but again, the chances are this will come across as a dull TED talk and the majority will zone out.

Some - even you, the gamesmaster - may also see this as a waste of precious gaming time, especially when you only have limited "gaming slots" in your calendar (not all of us have the luxury of biweekly campaign sessions, dotted around assorted other gaming escapades).

Even with the most "straight-forward" RPG setting (or so you perceive it) there's still an element of risk, a possible "breakdown in communication" between the heavily invested gamesmaster and the "just want to play a game" players.

You always run the risk of the old adage that "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing" and the players will not grok the atmosphere that the GM is aiming to create, and will instead take his toys and run amok.

Game setting or established IP, the more it veers from normality, everyday life and learned experience, the more the GM will have to explain and the more risk he runs that the players will get the wrong end of the stick or simply not pay attention.

The best way to motivate a player is to place their character in a setting they are already familiar with and invested in. 

Which is why so many of us default to games and settings where killing monsters and stealing their treasure is de rigueur. Because we all get it. As I've said many times before that's why Dungeons & Dragons-style games (although not necessarily just D&D) tend to be the lingua franca of gamers.

Whether you like those games or not, everyone has heard of them, has an opinion on them and knows what is expected in them. Get enough like-minded souls together - and there are more D&D players than any other setting, style or genre - and you have a game.

But what if you want something else? The easiest, most obvious, route to go is a licensed game or setting, because it has an inbuilt fanbase. And you hope, in the Venn diagram of fandoms, that your players fall into the precious overlap where they want to play your game in someone else's established setting.

And that is the secret sauce, my friend. It's not a great revelation, but it's my revelation.

No matter how much you - as the gamesmaster - love a setting, if the players don't share your passion, the game isn't going to last.
My pop culture Odyssey: a slice of super-powered geek life with heavy emphasis on pulp adventure, superheroes, comic books, westerns, horror, sci-fi, giant monsters, zombies etc