It's the end of the world (again) in Action Comics #499 and I feel fine... because Superman is on the case.
"As The World Turns... For The Last Time!" (written by Cary Bates with pencils by Curt Swan, inks from Vince Colleta, colours by Gene D'Angelo, and letters by Todd Klein) starts out as a typical day in Metropolis but things are soon heading to Hell in a handbasket after a flying figure is spotted in the sky.
It's not actually the Man of Steel, but his newest chum, the bare-chested, moustachioed Vartox, former protector of planet Valeron and latest "getting-over-Superman" love interest for Lana Lang.
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| Kids these days, don't know the hardships of the 1970s! |
The crowd's apathy to another Superman sighting won't last long though.
Vartox, having failed to save his planet from destruction, now believes that the Earth is going to suffer the same fate because of the dread "x-element" (that he brought with him) which will, very soon, cause the oxygen in the atmosphere to explode.
However, Vartox's unfortunate part in our imminent destruction is even larger. His "hyper-abilities"(which generally mirror Superman's superpowers) are psychically-powered, and he is radiating apocalyptic fear around the globe!
It starts with a "mental plague" in Corleyville, a small town in northern Wisconsin, where the townsfolk plead with Superman to take them away (that's the cover picture for the issue), then rapidly spreads until it seems most of the world's population believe they are facing impending doom.
The Last Son of Krypton, however, isn't convinced and his experiments at the Fortress of Solitude back up this belief. However, Vartox is sticking to his guns and stages a bizarre "intervention" after knocking out Superman with a "hyper-brain blast".
When Supes awakens, Vartox is dressed as Jor-El and has constructed a jury of mannikins dressed as Kryptonian Science Council - re-enacting Jor-El's vain attempts to convince the council that Krypton was about to explode!

This misguided attempt at psychological torture backfires as Supes goes a bit crazy and smashes through the wall of the Fortress.
However, once outside, in the fresh Artic air, he senses that the "x-element" is actually starting to take effect, and deduces that there must have been something in the Fortress preventing this chemical reaction.
Of course, it turns out to be the radioactive fragments of the planet Valeron!
So, Superman and Vartox speed off through space to gather more fragments, grind them up and seed Earth's atmosphere... thus saving the day.
Around all this bonkers Bronze Age chaos there's an awkward romantic sub-plot for Lana, who really has the hots for Vartox (since she first met him in the previous issue), even once he reveals his secret identity (she initially believed him to be Vern, a security guard at the Galaxy Building, where Clark Kent is working at this time).
In the end, she has to let him go, though, as he declares that Earth has enough superheroes and he has an obligation to find a planet to protect with his "hyper-powers". Or it's just an excuse to get away from the very clingy Lana.
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| "It's not you, it's me!" (But it really is you) |
If you've ever wondered what Superman would look like if he had been created in the 1970s - or joined
The Village People - you have to check out Vartox's
Who's Who entry from March, 1987 below.
Created by Cary Bates and Curt Swan in
Superman #281, Vartox was actually inspired by Sean Connery's memorable appearance in 1974's
Zardoz, in case you hadn't realised.
This "older and more experienced" iteration of the Superman archetype has reappeared post-Crisis (
thanks to the multiversal shenanigans of recent DC event storylines) and even cameoed in the pilot episode of the The CW's
Supergirl show (
played by by Owain Yeoman) as a short-lived villainous escapee from Fort Rozz.