Keep Calm And Carrie On

She just wanted a friend. They gave her a fight. All episodes of Carrie, a new series from Mike Flanagan, premiere on October 7 on Prime Video.

You Wait All Day For An Omnibus, Then Three Come Along

As we were talking about Afterlife With Archie the other day, it's worth pointing out that just in time for Halloween this year Oni Press - in collaboration with Archie Comics - is releasing a deluxe hardcover collection of all ten issues of the comic.

R.I.P. Riverdale! Once in a generation, a story so potent, so powerful, so horrifying rises from the grave to redefine the comics medium’s greatest icons.

Enter: The first-ever deluxe collection of Afterlife with Archie — collecting the totality of the groundbreaking, cemetery-shaking comics masterpiece from Harvey Award–winning writer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (Stephen King's The Stand: American Nightmare) and Eisner Award–winning artist Francesco Francavilla (Batman: The Black Mirror) that first introduced Riverdale’s teenage icons into a merciless world of ritual magic, undead terror, and survival at any cost!

When a tragic death befalls Jughead Jones’s closest companion, his grief drives him to the doorstep of Sabrina the Teenage Witch... and into the thrall of a dark magic that will soon turn the whole of Riverdale into a ravenous pack of undead zombies fueled by a desire for human flesh.

Hunted by the reanimated corpses of their friends and loved ones, can Archie, Betty, Veronica, and the rest of America's most beloved teenagers battle back by a legion of the dead... and live long enough to stop the entire world from being consumed by the same unholy hunger?

Pal vs. pal. Classmate vs. classmate. Living vs. dead. They swore to be friends until the end... but they never expected the end to look quite like this.

This definitive hardcover collection of the riveting and relentless milestone that the New York Times calls “gruesome [and] masterly” re-presents the entirety of the Afterlife with Archie saga — including the never-before-collected issues #6–10 — in an oversized format that also features a complete cover gallery and behind-the-scenes materials on the development of Archie Comics’ first all-out horror epic.

The Afterlife With Archie Deluxe Edition is scheduled to rise from the grave on October 27.

But that's not all, young adventurers, we also have a two volume collection of Marvel's original run of high-octane, pulp yarns involving the world's most famous archaeologist: Indiana Jones.

Both hardcover volumes are due to be dug up on September 29.

With Raiders being my all-time favourite movie and my enduring crush on Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) also being no secret, you know this pair of eldritch tomes will be finding a way onto my shelves.

Each volume holds over 500 pages of Indy goodness from the '80s, featuring the work of such legends as John Byrne, Walt Simonson, Dennis O'Neill, Christopher Priest, David Michelinie and more.

At the height of the popularity of Indiana Jones in the 1980s, Marvel Comics - and some of the biggest creators of the era - took on the challenge of bringing the iconic hero from the silver screen to the printed page, and the results were every bit as exhilarating as you’d expect!

Now these action-packed adventures are being collected in a pair of volumes destined to be treasures worthy of Indy himself!

Volume one includes adaptations of Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, plus the first half of the Further Adventures of Indiana Jones series that expanded the character’s mythos in blockbuster fashion!

Volume one collects: Marvel Super Special (1977) #18, #30; Further Adventures of Indiana Jones (1983) #1-16

With clouds of war gathering ominously over Europe and a Great Depression gripping the world, one globe-trotting professor’s appetite for adventure and discovery remains unsated! Join Dr. Henry Jones as he scours the farthest corners of the planet in a constant race to keep priceless artifacts out of the wrong hands!

This volume collects the second half of the action-packed Further Adventures of Indiana Jones series alongside the official adaptation of beloved film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - featuring work by some of the biggest talents of the 1980s.

Volume two collects: Further Adventures of Indiana Jones (1983) #17-34, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) #1-4

Another Tasty Horror Treat From Apple

Matthew Rhys stars as Mayor Tom Loftis in Apple's Widow's Bay

Widow’s Bay is a quaint island town 40 miles off the coast of New England. But something lurks beneath the surface. Mayor Tom Loftis (Matthew Rhys) is desperate to revive his struggling community. There’s no Wi-Fi, spotty cellular reception and he must contend with superstitious locals who believe their island is cursed.

He wants these people to respect him. They don’t. They think he is soft and cowardly. And he is. But Loftis is determined to build a better future for his teenage son and turn the island into a tourist destination.

Miraculously, he succeeds: tourists are finally coming. Unfortunately, the locals were right. After decades of calm, the old stories that seemed too ludicrous to be true, start happening again. Widow’s Bay blends genuine horror with character-driven comedy.

From these teases, it would appear that Widow's Bay is a delicious blend of dark humour, Stephen King, HP Lovecraft, and Twin Peaks. Possibly. Or it could be something completely different... but I look forward to finding out.

Hailing from Apple Studios, Widow’s Bay is created, showrun, executive produced and written by Katie Dippold.

Director Hiro Murai executive produces alongside Carver Karaszewski, Claudia Shin and Rhys. Murai directs five episodes this season, in addition to directors Ti West, Sam Donovan and Andrew DeYoung.

Apparently the story of Widow's Bay began as a spec script Dippold wrote for - of all things - that greatest of sitcoms Parks and Recreation. Which makes me want to watch this even more!!!

The first two episodes of the show drop in three weeks, on April 29, then the remaining eight episodes of the series will appear on subsequent Wednesdays through to June 17 (with a second double-dip on May 27).

Why Aren't These Movies Cult Classics?

WhatCulture Horror presents a selection of classy genre movies, which are all too often mistakenly overlooked. These 10 films should be classed as cult classics, the 13-minute featurette argues, but aren't.

It's an interesting selection, although I firmly believe that the number one film, Near Dark, is a cult classic. I certainly regard it as such.

PROJECT 60: What's To Be Read?

Inspired, in large part, by Booktube - and Michael K Vaughan, in particular - I'm setting myself some personal "book reading challenges" for 2026.

In recent years my reading has gotten a bit slack, for various reasons (a combination of health, the easy ubiquity of television, and general laziness), and so I have been inspired to inject a bit of discipline into this important pastime.

The first challenge (seeking to emulate Michael's "reading Superman every day") is to Read Judge Dredd Every Day.

The plan is to start at the first page of the first Complete Case Files (which reprint every Dredd yarn in chronological order) and read on from there. Over the years I have accumulated (as shown above) the Complete Case Files 1 - 20, with some waifs and strays from the later volumes.

So, that should keep me going for a good while. 

The other challenge I'm setting myself is to read the new Conan The Barbarian hardback novels (see below), published by Titan, as well as the Red Sonja novel written by the peerless Gail Simone.

I think this is a solid basis for getting some organised reading going in the New Year.

Hopefully, by then, I will have made significant headway into my backlog of monthly comics (I'm pretty sure I'm six or so months behind on most titles), as well as trimming my pull-list to prevent such scenarios arising again (and for financial and space reasons).

There's also a new Philip Reeve book, Bridge of Storms, due in February, which will obviously jump to the top of my TBR pile the moment it drops on my doormat.

Audiobook-wise, I'm working my way steadily through Stephen King's Dark Tower saga - with diversions to other worlds between each volume - and hope to start book four, Wizard and Glass, in late January/early February.

This will be new territory for me, as I'd originally read the first three books pretty soon after they were published (not that I could remember much past the first, so the audios felt like new stories anyway).

This is an exciting prospect - even if Wizard and Glass is over 27 hours long - as I've oft wondered how the tale of Roland the Gunslinger concludes... and have been very diligent in avoiding spoilers for all these years.

I have a shelf of King books, outside of The Dark Tower they're mainly collections of short stories but I also have The Shining, which may get a look-in next year, depending on how the Conan reading goes.

Stephen King shelf - with my original Dark Tower cassettes (left), with King reading the story

BOOK REVIEW: In The Mouth of Madness (Sutter Cane)

John Carpenter's cosmic horror magnum opus In The Mouth of Madness came out in 1995 and almost immediately devotees were calling it the greatest Lovecraftian movie that's not based on an HP Lovecraft story.

I don't know when I first saw it, but it was almost certainly the Lovecraft vibe that drew me to it and I was immediately smitten.

In The Mouth of Madness is quite possibly my all-time favourite horror movie.

At its heart, the story concerns a hunt by insurance investigator John Trent (Sam Neill) for a missing best-selling horror author, Sutter Cane (Jürgen Prochnow), and his much sought-after final manuscript, In The Mouth of Madness.

Fans have long demanded a novelisation of the movie - which in a turn of mindbending metafiction is the novel that forms the heart of the film - and finally this year it came to pass.

Published by Echo On Publications, the novel of In The Mouth of Madness fully embraces its cinematic provenance, being authored by the fictional Sutter Cane (actually Christian Francis) and "published" by Arcane (the publisher of Sutter Cane's work in the film). It even uses the front cover artwork shown on the book when it's onscreen.

But, sadly, there my fanboyish excitement ends.

For the most part this is a very pedestrian adaptation, only really grabbing the reader in the final act when it seeks to expand the world we know from the film.

Sutter Kane is a contemporary reimagining of HP Lovecraft - in a world where his Great Old Ones were actually real - with a heavy dose of Stephen King mixed in for good measure, so I had high expectations for this book (fuelled by the several decades' wait for it to be announced).

Yet, given that - in-universe - this is supposedly a book written by an author who outsells Stephen King tenfold, it instead reads in large part like fan-fiction.

Was this actually a hurriedly released unedited first (or early) draft? 

That might explain the most frustrating thing about the novel, which can't entirely be blamed on the author (unless this was self-published and he was expected to edit it himself). 

The text is riddled with typos and missing words, which isn't a dealbreaker but is immensely frustrating for a professionally published book.

The name of Cane's publisher, Jackson Harglow (played by Charlton Heston the film) changes spelling several times within a few pages, for instance, and there are even TWO inexcusable typos in the blurb on the back cover of the dust jacket.

Did nobody proof this?

On the other hand, there are some delightful additions to the story - such as interjections in the text, often directed at the reader, from Cane himself.

Another interesting inclusion was the discussion between Trent and Cane's editor Linda Styles over Cane’s approach to writing.

For the most part the book sticks to the film script, but there are some minor tweaks to the narrative, alternative takes as it were, and one major element slipped in that, as far as I was aware from multiple viewings of the film, adds a whole new level of existential horror to the story.

Sutter Cane's In The Mouth of Madness is at its best when it captures the cosmic horror of the movie, but ultimately serves primarily as a novelty artefact to sit on your shelf and spark conversation with those 'in the know'.

It certainly isn't the Lovecraftian/Stephen King assault on sanity that we'd all been waiting for.

Pennywise Shows His Hand In Welcome to Derry

HALLOWEEN HORROR: Trailer Park Of Terror (2008)

Trying to escape her trailer trash life, Norma (Nichole Hiltz) has got herself a townie boyfriend, only the local bullies accidentally kill him and so Norma storms off, strikes a deal with The Devil (who bears more than a passing resemblance to Stephen King's Randall Flagg aka The Walkin' Dude aka The Man In Black), returns to the trailer park, kills everyone and burns down the park with herself in it.

Twenty years later a minibus of juvenile delinquents, returning from Bible camp with their chaperone, Pastor Lewis (Matthew Del Negro) crashes in a rain storm and they seek shelter in the seemingly abandoned trailer park.

However, they are greeted by Norma, who offers to put them up for the night and that's when they discover they are in the Trailer Park Of Terror (bwahahahahaha!)

This 90-minute horror starts off promisingly enough, but once the ghost-zombies start to arrive it degenerates into a very by-the-numbers gorefest - with the "final girl" telegraphed from the moment she appears, as the only one of the young reprobates with any degree of personality and charm.

A strange brew, borrowing elements from sources as diverse as splatterpunk and Nightmare On Elm Street (several of the kiddies are offed in ways appropriate to their single character-defining quirks), things further spin out of control with musical numbers (courtesy of an annoying zombie with a guitar - a gimmick that grows old very fast) and a strange demolition derby climax!

By letting the story initially unfold chronologically, thus letting us see the inciting incident that creates the supernatural horror (facts usually discovered in the course of horror film, rather than at the start), I thought Trailer Park Of Terror was going to put a new spin on this kind of "teenagers trapped in the middle of nowhere by flesh-eating monsters" movie.

Sadly it doesn't and even the half-hearted attempt at a twist ending is fumbled. Apparently the movie was based on a comic book series and clearly this ending was a stab at leaving the door open for a sequel.

HALLOWEEN HORROR: The Black Phone (2021)

Already a regular target of bullies, shy-but-smart, 13-year-old Finney (Mason Thames) is snatched off the streets of 1978 Denver by the local bogeyman, a masked sicko known as The Grabber (Ethan Hawke).

Locked up in the basement of sadistic, serial child-killer's home, Finney starts to get messages on a disconnected, old black telephone from the ghosts of The Grabber's previous victims.

Meanwhile, his younger sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw) is having vivid dreams about The Grabber's victims, including details not released to the general public, which piques the interest of the police.

As the ghosts on the phone guide Finney into trying to complete their own escape attempts, Gwen - against the wishes of their alcoholic and abusive father, Terrance (Jeremy Davies) - tries to piece together clues to her brother's location.

With its '70s suburban setting, psychic kids, ghosts, and creepy and enigmatic antagonist, writer/director Scott Derrickson's The Black Phone has an immediate, overpowering Stephen King vibe about it... which is unsurprising as it's based on a short story of the same name by King's son, Joe Hill.

Unfortunately, for all its intensity and jeopardy, there's little depth to the story. While The Black Phone is incredibly well-made, but it simply lacks any enduring substance or character depth.

Sure, it's suggested that Gwen got her "abilities" from her mum (who had been driven to suicide by her own visions) and presumably that's also why Finney could hear the black phone "ringing", but that's about it.

Some of the hardest moments to watch don't actually involve The Grabber, who by and large (for what we actually see) is all talk, but are, instead, of the inexcusably violent Terrance beating on Gwen for attracting the attention of the police because of her dreams!

Then, much of the film's resolution hinges on the police's immediate willingness to act on Gwen's dreams, which - given the apparent "true crime" grittiness that Scott Derrickson (of Sinister and Doctor Strange fame) seems to be chasing here - feels rather far-fetched.

But it was the 70's, I guess, perhaps the Denver police were more open to pursuing leads from the dreams of tween girls?

In truth, throughout the 100-minute movie, the paranormal aspects are treated in a very matter-of-fact manner, as if psychic kids and ghosts were an accepted part of real life in 1970's suburban America, rather than the stuff of nightmares and horror flicks.

Nevertheless, The Black Phone is a powerful and engaging thriller, with a disturbing and memorable central performance from Ethan Hawke in a variety of Tom Savini-designed masks, that bear more than a passing resemblance to Lon Chaney's iconic character from the legendary, lost, silent horror movie London After Midnight.

However, while The Black Phone understandably unnerves its audience with a constant sense of threat towards its young captive lead, this ultimately feels very superficial.

Even the pseudo-bait-and-switch, Silence of The Lambs-inspired, arrival of the cavalry at the end isn't the giant misdirect you fear it might have been, that could have opened the plot up for a potentially darker denouement.

For all its supernatural trappings, The Black Phone is disappointingly linear, devoid of any interesting twists or revelations at the eleventh hour. 

Ultimately, while there's definitely the essence of a potentially great horror movie in what has been brought to the screen, you are left with the distinct feeling that there could have been so much more to The Black Phone.

In The Running Man, The Game Plays You

In a near-future society, The Running Man is the top-rated show on television—a deadly competition where contestants, known as Runners, must survive 30 days while being hunted by professional assassins, with every move broadcast to a bloodthirsty public and each day bringing a greater cash reward.

Desperate to save his sick daughter, working-class Ben Richards (Glen Powell) is convinced by the show’s charming but ruthless producer, Dan Killian (Josh Brolin), to enter the game as a last resort.

But Ben’s defiance, instincts, and grit turn him into an unexpected fan favourite—and a threat to the entire system. As ratings skyrocket, so does the danger, and Ben must outwit not just the Hunters, but a nation addicted to watching him fall.

Books, Books, As Far As The Eye Can See

The shelving is finished, but the "stocking up" remains a work in progress

The highlight of this week has been the magical appearance of my new bookcase. Paid for by Rachel and assembled by her dad, I absolutely love these new shelves to display my stuff on.

For about a year I've been planning for a new book case, but had only pictured it going half-way up the wall - with room for a framed picture above - but then Rachel and her dad said it would be feasible to build one up to the ceiling.

I'm so glad I followed their suggestion, as I think I was very incredibly optimistic over how much I could squeeze into a half-size bookcase!

What you see above is the current state of affairs, and I've promised everyone that I won't fill every single centimetre with weighty tomes (as this is on the first floor and nobody wants to see it drop through to the ground floor!).

Given my current disability, I am unable to reach the top shelves, so managed to persuade Rachel to help fill-up top (and bring boxes of previously hidden books up from the lounge).

The current make-up of my bookcase is a shelf for Westerns, one for Planet of The Apes, three for Judge Dredd -related products (I still need to get a stand for my old Lawgiver Mk2, which used to sit - in its packaging - in a glass cabinet in my original gamesroom in our old house), a couple for Robert E Howard and Conan books, one for Stephen King, one for Dune books (which is shared with a Star Wars Sith holocron), one for my Fantastic Four merch from the cinema, and then a display of Funko Pops along the top, bookended by cat statues painted to resemble my late parents' two cats: Cookie and Rover.

The cat figures were gifts I got my parents decades ago, when I was still working for the newspaper. There was someone at our head office who had access to a variety of blank statutes that he would then paint to resemble people's cats, based on photographs you supplied him.

I'm glad I finally have somewhere to display the pair properly.

Health-wise, it's been an up-and-down week. After a frustrating phone chat with my GP the other week (my doc didn't know why she was ringing, even though it was her who had asked me to book the call), Rachel and I were directed to a self-referral site for NHS physio.

We filled it in, but then a day or so later I got a call to say I had been rejected and was better off going to the falls clinic.

Through gritted teeth I explained I was already going through the falls clinic procedures and was looking for something to supplement that and, hopefully, develop my strength and stability further.

Later that evening I got a text to say I was now being referred and the following day I got an email containing the phone number to arrange my appointment. So, that's a job for this week.

IT Is Coming To TV...

IT: Welcome To Derry premieres 27 October on Sky.

Check In To Netflix's Haunted Hotel This Friday

After inheriting a hotel from her late brother, a single mom moves in with his good-natured ghost — and high-maintenance guests who will never check out.

What if The Shining was a comedy from the mind of Matt Roller, a former Rick and Morty story editor? Season one of the Haunted Hotel manifests itself on Netflix this Friday (September 19).

Chewing Over The Meat of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Fifty years after Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre shocked the world and forever changed the face of global cinema and popular culture, Chain Reactions charts the film’s profound impact and lasting influence.

Directed by Alexandre O. Philippe (Lynch/Oz, Memory: The Origin of Alien). Featuring Stephen King, Patton Oswalt, Karyn Kusama, Takashi Miike, and Alexandra Heller-Nicholas. Only in theaters September 19.

The Tuesday Knights May Be On An Extended Hiatus, But The Gaming Wheels Are Still Turning

Today is the 17th anniversary of the first gathering of our gaming group, The Tuesday Knights.

However, we are currently on an extended hiatus - for various reasons we haven't gamed since May and now, of course, I'm rather entangled in a medical "mystery" as science tries to figure out why my legs aren't working properly!

I've thus pulled the plug on my supers' game, as Pete has stepped up with a new system he has invested in, to continue his long-running time travel/alternate reality campaign, which has so far bounced from GURPS Atomic Horror to Hollow Earth Expedition.

Next up will be Outgunned, which I'm very excited about as it's a game I was seriously considering picking up when it was launched through some crowdfunding programme or another. It's "cinematic action" vibe really appeals to me, so I'm looking forward to playing this.

I think we might still be playing in the same Indiana Jones-inspired inter-war setting in which our HEX game was set, presumably using the Outgunned Adventure supplement, although, to be honest, I wouldn't mind our characters sliding into contemporary bodies for a bit of John Wick/James Bond action.

In the meantime, I've superficially been kicking around some alternate systems for me to try out on the gang once I'm feeling better and Pete takes his next break from his long-running game (currently 32 sessions over 36 months).

Top contenders for further investigation on my behalf are:

GO FER YER GUN! But rather than a straight Western, I'd be looking to "Dark Tower it up" by easily blending some magic and monsters into the mix. This would be very easy to do with the simple d20 rules of Go Fer Yer Gun! 

ALIEN RPG (EVOLVED): I haven't read enough of the original edition to really get my head round the system, but there's a new edition out later this year (I didn't back the Kickstarter) and I really love the setting.

STAR TREK ADVENTURES (2nd Edition): I've never really grokked the 2d20 system that Modiphius uses to power most of its RPGs, but I know a lot of online buddies talk of playing in ongoing, long-running campaigns with this game. And who doesn't love Star Trek, right? I have the starter set for the new edition, just need to get round to reading the books.

PLANET OF THE APES: Another setting I adore. I can't help imagining the team as crashed astronauts on a post-apocalyptic Earth being pursued by trumpet-blowing gorillas.

The rules are variation on the old West End Games d6 system, which many, many people speak highly of although I've never played it. I didn't back the Planet of The Apes Kickstarter in the end, but the rule books are due out early next year.

BEYOND THE VEIL: While my previous possibilities are essentially variations on a theme, just with different settings, Beyond The Veil is nothing like any of those.

It's a roleplaying game about ghost-hunters in contemporary times. Not superheroes or trained astronauts, but members of the public - both believers and non-believers - brought together to scientifically investigate claims of the supernatural. It's The X-Files, Uncanny podcast and Stephen King horror, mingled with UFOs, cryptids and ghost stories, as read about through the pages of The Fortean Times.

Beyond The Veil is due to hit Kickstarter in a couple of months, but I already have the introductory Prologue booklet, which I'm halfway through reading.

HEALTH UPDATE: Baby Steps!

Once again, I am learning how to walk. I did it as an infant, I did it after my stroke 20 years ago, and now - for currently unknown reasons - I am having to do it again.

My MRI last month showed that I had a slipped disc, but the analysis of that was that it didn't explain the loss of strength in my legs and my sudden inability to walk.

While I await next week's appointment at the orthopaedics department, I've been testing the limits of my strength and stability by first walking and down the stairs (using the extra handrail that Rachel's dad installed) - instead of dragging myself up and down on my arse - and am now trying to walk (short distances) from either end of the staircase.

As long as there's something for me to hold on to you with one hand - or even touch with my fingertips - I'm able to make it to rooms off the first floor landing or, on the groundfloor, into the lounge.

I even made it to the backdoor one day this week - essentially walking the length of the house.

The other positive thing I did was finish the two books I was reading: Stephen King's Carrie and "Did You Hear What Eddie Gein Done?", an in-depth, graphic novel biography of Ed Gein, the inspiration for Norman Bates, Leatherface et al. 

I'd read a huge chunk of Carrie while I was waiting around in hospital for my tests in mid-July, but then hadn't picked it up since, due to a combination of physical discomfort and depression. 

But I was determined to finish it this week, as my "TBR" pile continues to grow into a mountain.

To celebrate this achievement, Rachel - not a fan of the horror genre at all - heroically agreed to watch the classic, original Carrie as our Saturday evening film.

However, I couldn't find my blu-ray disc of the movie (as I'm currently unable to fully search my double-stacked library of films), so we watched Psycho instead - which Rachel had already seen.

Hopefully, I'll be able to unearth Carrie by next weekend.

Now that I've cleared the mental blockage in my reading, I've got several books lined up to read next, starting with the incredibly weird-sounding Crypt of The Moon Spider, by Nathan Ballingrud, that was recommended on McNulty's Book Corral.

After that should come James Herbert's The Rats, The Tourist's Guide to Haunted Wellman by my Facebook friend Charles R Rutledge and the late James A Moore, and Stephen King's The Shining.

I haven't read The Rats since prep school in the '70s, where the book was a big hit among my young peers and caused a furore amongst the school authorities who banned us from reading it - thus making it more enticing. I couldn't find an affordable copy of the edition I read back then, but did find the 50th anniversary edition... which made me feel old.

The idea is build up a head of steam with my rekindled reading drive to give me the mental momentum to tackle The Shining.

If all goes to plan, I suspect that tome could keep my stroke-addled brain occupied for the rest of 2025 (at the very least).

I thought if I was going to give one of King's doorstop books a go, it might as well be the one whose story I'm most excited to read.

I only really know The Shining from Kubrick's 1980 movie (and Mike Flanagan's powerful 2019 sequel, Doctor Sleep), but am well aware that King didn't like Kubrick's take and much of the source material was ignored or rewritten.

So, I felt I owed to myself to discover the "real" story of The Overlook Hotel.

HEALTH UPDATE: Getting There... Slowly!

I won an official Women's Euros' ball!

In the weeks since my two days of hospital tests, my GP has done a 180 on her approach to my condition and done a magnificent job of chasing up my necessary referral.

I now have an appointment with the Orthopaedics department at the end of the month... for further examination and more tests, Rachel and I presume. Still not quite the physiotherapy we were hoping for, but I guess there's a protocol for these things.

As well as the near constant pain in my spine (and often in my legs when I try to get up or sit down), it's just frustrating and depressing not being able to do the normal things I used to do without thinking (such as reorganising a shelf, picking a book up off the floor, taking a shower, put the bins out, load the dishwasher etc).

Even my reading has been impacted. Due to the discomfort caused by any suitable reading posture (unlike TV watching in my fully-extended recliner) I've hardly read a thing. While I was at the hospital the other week I read a huge chunk of Carrie, but nothing since. I've managed a couple of chapters of the graphic novel "Did You Hear What Eddie Gein Done?".

However, the most annoying thing is that I set aside an afternoon this week to try and make a dent in my growing pile of unread comic books... and only managed two! Each one I got about half way through and had to take a nap before resuming.

On the other hand, a wonderful distraction during this period was following the Lionesses through to their second triumphant win at the Euros. Sadly, the footie fun is all over now until the next big tournament (which I guess is the World Cup in 2027, although there will be men's international football in between).

After witnessing this marvellous moment of sporting history, I was determined to win myself a Lucy Bronze England top (she's incredible, Proper English, played the entire tournament with a broken tibia). I investigated the cost of a genuine replica top... and it was £99 plus shipping!

So that was a big no, but several major companies were running competitions for serious merch. I don't usually bother with such things, but I was really hooked on the idea of that shirt (even if it wasn't actually being offered as a prize).

In the ultimate irony (given my current condition), I won an Adidas match football through an Amazon sweepstakes.

At first I thought it would make for a good joke, and anecdote, however once it arrived this week I immediately fell in love with it. Not sure where I'm going to put it (or what I'm going to do with it) but it's an undeniably cool memento of the Lionesses victory.

My prize

Meanwhile, Rachel's dad has installed a second handrail on our stairs, which is such a boon.

I can now - sometimes - use both rails to get down the stairs,  although going up the stairs is still incredibly hard. More times than not I end up either back on my arse or doing some kind of spider-walking (Linda Blair in The Exorcist-style), using whatever limbs have strength at that moment.

The new (left-hand) stair rails installed by Rachel's dad this week

The new rail is a godsend

Obviously, I hope my puny muscles will build up (through my weekly exercise class, my own exercises at home, and the general use of my walking frame) so I can master walking up and down stairs again... rather than feeling "trapped" on whichever floor I happen to be on at the moment.

Not only has Rachel invested in a walking frame for me, but also a wheelchair - of similar design to the one we initially hired, but with a separate cushion in it.

The chair means, when I can face it, I won't have to stay indoors as much I have been... and we can actually visit places.

This is what we used to go to the cinema to see Fantastic Four: First Steps. One thing we took away from that experience is that, despite ramps and wheelchair places in their auditoriums, our multiplex is not easy for wheelchair users to navigate.

The airlock doors into the screens are so heavy (and open towards you when you are going in, as do the doors to the disabled toilets) that it was nigh on impossible for Rachel to manage the door and chair-bound me simultaneously. We found ourselves relying on the kindness of strangers to hold open the doors.

If I'd had a self-propelled chair and was, somehow, there on my own, I'd never have got through any of the doorways without the assistance of random fellow cinema-goers!

Everything is moving so slowly these days... and I'm generally not a patient person (as Rachel will tell you), but thanks to my brilliant wife, her parents, and our friends we are making some kind of progress.

Posing on the stairs: this is currently about as far up as I can walk normally,
but I shall keep trying

Running Into Movie Theatres This November

In a near-future society, The Running Man is the top-rated show on television — a deadly competition where contestants, known as Runners, must survive 30 days while being hunted by professional assassins, with every move broadcast to a bloodthirsty public and each day bringing a greater cash reward.

Desperate to save his sick daughter, working-class Ben Richards (Glen Powell) is convinced by the show’s charming but ruthless producer, Dan Killian (Josh Brolin), to enter the game as a last resort.

But Ben’s defiance, instincts, and grit turn him into an unexpected fan favourite — and a threat to the entire system.

As ratings skyrocket, so does the danger, and Ben must outwit not just the Hunters, but a nation addicted to watching him fall.

Co-written and directed by Edgar 'Shaun of The Dead' Wright, and based on the novel by Stephen King (written under the pseudonym Richard Bachman), The Running Man bursts onto the big screen on November 7.

How Far Will You Go?

Come (To Derry) and Get IT!