Titanic Return For The King of Atlantis

Although he has already appeared alongside Conan in the Cimmerian's own title, Robert E Howard's Kull is getting his own four-issue miniseries early next year from Titan Comics.

Howardverse I.P. holders Heroic Signatures has revealed that Mark Buckingham - of Fables, The Sandman, Miracleman, Batman; Shadow of The Bat etc fame - will be the illustrator of this series, with colours from Dave Stewart.

The comic will be written by The Mask and B.P.R.D. scribe John Arcudi.

Words To Live By?

Conan & Dragonero #3 (Titan Comics)

In this month's issue of the non-canonical crossover comic, Conan & Dragonero, our Cimmerian protagonist delivered a throwaway, mid-combat, line that rather caught me by surprise.

"I don't worry about anything until it happens".

I am, by no stretch, a Robert E Howard scholar or expert on his most famous creation, but I guess this has always been Conan's philosophy - even though I don't recall him specifically spelling it out like that.

Perhaps, in all my years of consuming the adventures of Conan The Barbarian in various media, I've never really given this much serious thought.

To be honest, I'm not one hundred percent sure that this statement is a sensible approach to life as, taken at face value, surely that means a total absence of forward planning... and yet Conan is a master of the cunning trick and unpredictable battle strategies.

However, though the lens of stoicism, he is right. Only worry about things within your control. 

There's no point worrying about the possibility of wild wyverns slashing the balloon of your airship and sending you plummeting to the ground... because that's out of your control. 

Fighting the monsters that are in front of you, though, is within your control.

I wish I could adopt this mindset.

I've always been quite an anxious person, but since the sudden aortic aneurysm that struck me down out of the blue a couple of decades ago (and the stroke I suffered during the emergency, life-saving surgery), my PTSD-fuelled anxiety and general nervousness has gone through the roof.

Things that used to bug me or worry me can now reduce me to a blubbering wreck.

But these are - nearly always - things that are out of my control.

I'd love to have a modicum of Conan's stoicism. I shall endeavour, next time an appropriate situation arises, to tell myself "not to worry about anything until it happens".

This reminds of another phrase I heard last year that I try to put into use when I can.

In the brutal Netflix Western serial, American Primeval, Taylor Kitsch's character tells a kid with a broken arm: "It's only pain."

A simple, little phrase, but one I now repeat to myself when I'm going to the doctor's or the hospital for a procedure that involves sticking needles into my tiny, elusive veins.

I still hate it, it doesn't stop me screaming out or crushing Rachel's hand, but - at the end of the day - it is "only pain". It's not going to kill me, and it will pass.

So, who still thinks that comic books and television aren't good for you?

Hundra (1983)

A strange Spanish-American barbarian movie from the '80s, Hundra is surprisingly more interesting and entertaining than it should be.

A bizarre mix of feminist commentary, Carry On humour and Emmanuelle sauciness with strong overtones of a Gorean obsession with submissive women, the film actually has some pretty decent - and long - action sequences.

Hundra (Laurene Landon) survives a brutal raid on her all-female village and, after single-handedly killing the dozen or so raiders (in an incredible, prolonged fight), is charged by the village elder (a waffling, decrepit old crone who also provides the amusing and overly serious narration) to seek out a man she can use to repopulate the tribe.

Man-hating Hundra makes some poor choices along the way - including a foul, belching, farting slaver that she ends up fighting rather than mating with in an utterly bizarre, and almost silent, scene (the slaver never says a single word during his whole time on screen).

Laurene Landon

Of course that bizarreness falls short compared to an earlier scene of Hundra being unseated from her horse by a dwarf on a donkey - who is possibly only in the movie for politically incorrect humour reasons!

Eventually Hundra arrives at a nameless city (the entire world is one of those generic, sub-Conan, dusty environments where places and tribes have no names - because that would have been too much effort for the writers) where she falls in love with the local healer, Pateray (Ramiro Oliveros) - using the best opening/chat-up line ever: "You will mate with me and make a baby" - then gets mixed up with shenanigans at the local Temple Of The Bull (a knocking shop and baby factory for local warlords).

By no means a great movie, Hundra orbits around mediocre but is saved from total oblivion by its well-choreographed (and often slo-mo) fight scenes, the coquettish charms of Ms. Landon and its humour (some deliberate, some accidental).

The movie also features a strong score by Ennio Morricone that swings from epic grandeur to Benny Hill zaniness in its scope.

POSSE POWER!!!

Photo by Reda Bluo

Since this blog celebrated its first six months of active service back in May, another brave soul has joined our Posse of Followers: Tom D.

This pushes membership to a very lucky 13, but we could always do better! We're very welcoming around these 'ere parts.

Look to the right and you will see in the side column (below the current 'featured article') a widget entitled Join The Posse. Under avatars for my current followers is a button marked Follow.

Simply press that and - all being well - your avatar will join the ranks of this group of brave heroes.

I do think you'll need a Google account for this to work (Blogger, after all, is a Google thing).

Not only does this mean, my expertly crafted prose will appear in your Google "Reading List" but it demonstrates to me that you're interested in my waffle and support what I'm doing (without having to part with a single red cent, sign up to a Patreon, or back my Kickstarter).

For those of you new around here, my blog is kind of a broad church at present with a mix of film (and TV) reviews, trailers, books, comic books (particularly Titan's Conan and other Howardverse titles), and underpinning it all a life-long love of tabletop roleplaying games.

I also love swords-and-sorcery, monster horror, westerns, Star Wars, B-movies, select superheroes (primarily Superman and Fantastic Four these days), curry, pizzas, my long-suffering wife, Rachel, and our cute little doggo, Alice.

And probably other things that have slipped out of my Swiss Cheesed brain.

I also write, occasionally, about my health: the idea being that, as a stroke survivor, I can share both the highs and lows of my ongoing physical and mental battles. I try to limit this, at most, to once a week (although, where pertinent, it can slip into posts about other things).

Anyway, you're here now, reading this, so why wouldn't you want to join the Posse?

• Of course, honestly, the best way to follow the action on Cowboys, Capes, and Claws is to add this blog to your Feedly aggregator or similar RSS feed reader application (it almost sounds as though I know what I'm talking about!)

Red Sonja (2025)

I'd put off watching Red Sonja for ages because I really, really wanted it to be a grand slice of sword-and-sorcery, but everything I had heard about it said it was awful.

If I remember rightly, the film had languished in post-production hell for (seemingly) years after it was shot, then suddenly popped up, got a single-night cinema release (I guess for legal or accounting reasons) and was then dropped on digital and solid media without much fanfare.

Things were not looking good, but I still held out hope.

And the thing, now that I've seen it, I wouldn't call it bad per se. But I couldn't, in all conscience, call it good either.

Red Sonja was created for Marvel Comics, at the height of their Conan boom in the 1970s. Although she treads the Hyborian Age lands of Robert E Howard's Conan, she was never a character in Howard's books. He wrote about a 16th Century warrior called Red Sonya. But there is no connection - except for red hair and a similar name.

Red Sonja is now a hugely successful character at Dynamite Comics, with several titles of her own as well as frequent transdimensional crossovers with other members of their stable, but still operating primarily in a version of Howard's Hyborian Age.

The film script by Tasha Huo bandies around names from Robert E Howard's adventure yarns of Conan The Barbarian, and I think there was even a half-hearted (and erroneous) nod to the Cimmerian warrior himself. 

But, Red Sonja never feels like it's part of an epic, sweeping world. It all feels rather small and ragtag, like a Roger Corman offering from the 1980s (but devoid of the raucous charm those films often had).

The scenery, both the Bulgarian exteriors and the (presumably) CGI fantasy locations and sets are all very impressive and certainly help create the mood for a fantasy movie.

It's just Huo's script and the direction of MJ Bassett that lets down the brave actors, who are coping as best they can with the material they have to work with.

After she survives the slaughter of her tribe by barbarians, Sonja (Matilda Lutz) grows up in an enormous forest, always looking for other survivors. I find it hard to believe, no matter how big this forest is supposed to be, that after 10 or 15 years she'd found no clues.

Eventually, she comes to the attention of the wicked emperor Draygan (The Umbrella Academy's Robert Sheehan) when she is captured and forced to fight in his gladiatorial arena.

Of course, she organises a rebellion and leads the gladiators to their freedom. They are pursued by Draygan and his army, which includes his consort, the highly-skilled ex-pit fighter Annisia (Krypton's Wallis Day), who is more adept with a blade than Sonja. 

And, honestly, that's about it for plot.

There's a bit about Draygan seeking the lost half of his ancient "book of secrets", which helps tie him (unsurprisingly) into Sonja's backstory. 

Despite what the Japanese film poster (below) may suggest, Draygan is not a wizard (which would have been way cooler) but some kind of techno-inventor. He's not quite steampunk, but he does create spikey Warhammer-like vehicles and mortars, which just feel incongruous in this setting.

Nature-loving Sonja has a special bond with her horse, which really reminded me of Brego and Aragorn in The Two Towers, but might also be a take on Geralt of Rivia and his horse, Roach, in The Witcher.

Like quite a lot in Red Sonja, this bond isn't really explained. And while some things work as a mystery, others need some degree of backstory.

For instance, there are a couple of great-looking ape-people in the film. And I liked the fact that there was no explanation of their presence, their species didn't even get a name. They were just part of the ensemble of characters.

We also can't overlook the nice gag about Sonja's infamous chainmail bikini. 

Towards the final act, Sonja undergoes a mystical transformation, truly becoming the She-Devil With A Sword we know from the comics - but really it's too late in the story.

This also really draws attention to the character's pre-transformation competence, the script never really gets a handle on how good a fighter she is supposed to be. Her skill with various weapons changing from scene-to-scene as the script required it.

However, upon her post-transformation return for the final showdown, she seems to have become almost a superhero (there's definitely a touch of The Crow in her face paint).

And, as with the bulk of superhero movies that follow this arc, it would have been far more interesting if she had been "powered up" from much earlier in the story. Gandalf didn't become Gandalf The White just for the Battle at The Gates of Mordor in Lord Of The Rings.

The fight sequences in Red Sonja are generally okay, but the majority of actual death scenes either happen off-camera, in darkness or hidden some other way. This isn't what the target audience for this genre of movie are looking for.

That being said, I was surprised at how touching and well-done the last moments between Sonja and Draygan were, as I'd been expecting her just to lop his head off.

However, Red Sonja's very final scene, set some time later, is a hilariously unearned attempt (imitating Marion Ravenwood's introduction in Raiders of The Lost Ark) to pry the door open for a sequel.

Don't hold your breath.

Japanese poster for Red Sonja

Vintage Guide To Conan's World Now In My Collection

Crom may not care, but I do! Hence the serious face

As we're talking about reading today, I thought I'd share my latest non-Amazon purchase that's just arrived: A Gazeteer of The Hyborian World of Conan and An Ethnogeographical Dictionary of Principal Peoples of The Era.

Compiled by Lee N Falconer and published by Starmont House in 1977, I have been after a copy of this (rare?) guide to the world of Robert E. Howard's Conan The Barbarian since I first heard of its existence several years ago.

Eventually, one popped up on eBay. But it was in a store in the United States. After a bit of umming and ahhing, I thought 'this could be my only shot at getting this book', and so I pulled the trigger.

As I found out a year ago, once you've accepted the shipping costs, it is very comforting ordering from the States via eBay because your trans-Atlantic package is tracked all the way from the seller to your door: every single stop, every depot, every sorting facility, as it passes from the USPS to DHL and finally Evri  in the UK (which delivered it far quicker than I was expecting).

And the 49-year-old paperback arrived in top grade, ship-shape condition, complete with that nice old book smell that takes me back to my youth and rifling through the shelves of second-hand bookshops.

The bulk of the 127-page book is an alphabetised catalogue of places in Howard's Conan and Kull stories, followed appendices covering chronology, key peoples, heraldry and cartography.

The book closes out with three maps of the Hyborian World, including one based on Howard's own sketch and one superimposed on modern Europe. 

This is a very exciting addition to my small Howard library and makes me very happy to think that, once again, my (rare) patience paid off.

Originally the Gazeteer (sic) came packaged with a stunning, full colour map.

However, I've never seen one of those particular maps for sale... and, anyway, I  don't have wall space for a 28" by 40.5" map (as much as I love fantasy maps).

Deathstalker's Deeds Finally Set Down On Paper

Deathstalker - as portrayed in Steven Kostanski’s recent, excellent, movie - finally finds his way onto the written page, this September.

Bret Nelson's official adaptation of Deathstalker, published by Encyclopocalypse, will be available as a 190-page mass market paperback and and an e-book, with an audiobook following along later this year.

With a foreword by the great Patton Oswalt (who voices goblin-dwarf wizard Doodad in the film), the book - according to a recent article on Rue Morgue - will expand:

"...upon the film’s world of monsters, magic, mayhem, and adventure, bringing readers deeper into the war-torn realm of Abraxeon and the dangerous quest that places its reluctant hero at the centre of an unplanned adventure after accidentally unleashing a curse upon…himself."

Nelson, who has a solid track record with movie tie-ins, having penned adaptations of Plan 9 From Outer Space and Manborg, as well as numerous works of his own under his belt, says in the Rue Morgue piece that his was inspired by Conan The Barbarian comics and the works of Fritz Leiber and Michael Moorcock, as well as many hours of sword-and-sorcery roleplaying game campaigns.

I strongly suspect this is going to be delightfully pulpy and cannot wait to get my hands on the paperback.

"The legend returns... bloodier, bolder, and more outrageous than ever.

"Deathstalker is a thief, a mercenary, and a survivor with a talent for finding trouble wherever he roams. When a dying prince's mysterious amulet becomes bound to his soul, Deathstalker finds himself hunted by assassins, monsters, sorcerers, and creatures that should have remained buried in the darkest corners of the realm.

"Armed with an overwhelming desire to be left alone, Deathstalker embarks on a perilous quest across the war-torn kingdom of Abraxeon. Along the way he'll battle two-headed trolls, flesh-eating serpents, ancient curses, sinister magic, and an army of enemies determined to claim the amulet's deadly secret.

"Adapted from the screenplay by Steven Kostanski (Psycho Goreman, Frankie Freako) by Bret Nelson (Manborg, Plan 9 From Outer Space) and featuring a foreword by Patton Oswalt, Deathstalker is an epic journey into a world of gloriously old-school adventure.

"Sharpen your sword, and try not to get cursed along the way.

"Deathstalker rides again."

Obscure & Underrated Sword and Sorcery Movies

In this recent episode of the Atomic Snack Bar, host (and author) R. Sterling Carody takes a look at some obscure and/or underrated sword-and-sorcery movies.

Turns out I only own two of these on DVD or Blu-Ray and so now I've got some more hunting to do!

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Kickin' It Old School!

Supreme fantasy author Michael Moorcock admired pulp maven Robert E Howard's brutal barbarian Conan so much that when he set out to create his own swords and sorcery epic he wanted it to be as unlike the tales of the Cimmerian as possible.

And so, he created Elric: the doomed, feeble, albino sorcerer-king kept alive by, first, mysterious narcotics and later by the evil energy of his cursed sword, Stormbringer.

When I last reread the first of the Elric books - Elric of Melnibone - it took just about two days, I still couldn't put it down.

A combination of my insomnia and the power of the writing saw me reading at all hours of the day and night.

Moorcock proves you don't need a ponderous, phonebook-sized tome to tell a thrilling, memorable fantasy tale.

In a 'mere' 190-pages Elric goes from languishing on his Ruby Throne to dealing with elemental creatures, fighting off an invasion, crossing the Young Kingdoms to find his kidnapped sweetheart and finally journeying to another plane of existence to retrieve Stormbringer at the behest of the Chaos demon-god Aroich.

Outside of Tolkien's main Lord of The Rings' characters and Conan himself, Elric and his legendary sword must be two of the best known names in fantasy literature... their dreamy, nightmarish adventures seeping into all manner of related media (e.g. heavy influences on early roleplaying games from Dungeons & Dragons and Arduin to Chaosium's own Stormbringer game; to the prominent technomage in Babylon 5 universe called... Elric).

And next year, we're getting three different new Elric roleplaying games: one for Dragonbane, one for Dungeon Crawl Classics, and one for 5e!

Reading Elric of Melnibone again stirred in me nostalgic memories for the other books of my youth - Fritz Leiber's Nehwon tales with Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser or Harry Turtledove's stories of Gerin The Fox - and the old school fantasy roleplaying games of my teen years.

It filled me with a hankering for that '80s Dungeons & Dragons-style vibe, that feeling of wonder and "not knowing what's around the next corner".

To quote Wikipedia:

"Some fans of pencil and paper role playing games use [old school] to describe RPGs characterized by simple game mechanics and flexible rules. The character generation system in such RPGs tend to lack extensive lists of skills and abilities. Basic Dungeons & Dragons and the first edition of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons are often considered 'old school' role playing games."

All this hankering for past gaming glories was also been stoked back in the 2000's by several great rules-lite, war story-heavy fantasy gaming podcasts I listened to at the time. Sadly, these are now gone - swept aside by the tidal wave of "actual play" podcasts.

The pods I listened to eschewed the attitude of some of the more snobby or 'elitist' podcasts back then which looked down their virtual noses at "game stories" or the "tell me about your character" attitude.

Personally I believe that's a central element of roleplaying games - you are generating collective stories, so why not share them? Isn't this just another form of creating fantasy literature?

As long as the stories are interesting, they are as valid as any other anecdote you may care to tell.

CONAN GETS ANIMATED!

The legendary Genndy Tartakovsky is animating the Robert E Howard classic Conan the Barbarian: Queen of the Black Coast for Prime Video.

After much recent teasing, this exciting announcement was made on the official Conan The Barbarian YouTube channel (see below), run by Heroic Signatures, custodians of the Howardverse, earlier today.

After finding love in the pirate queen, Bêlit, a battle-hardened Conan defies gods, fate, and even death to save her from a dark sorcery that threatens to destroy everything.

The show is being made by Cartoon Network Studios with Tartakovsky as executive producer and showrunner for the Conan the Barbarian: Queen of the Black Coast series, while the executive producers are Darrick Bachman, Fred Malmberg, and Mark Wheeler.

I'm so here for this, although honestly I was hoping the announcement was going to be for a live-action serial with HBOMax, Netflix or some organisation like that.

But I'll gladly take a bloody, visceral, and violent cartoon from one of the masters of the artform while I await my live-action dream project.

Covers For The Uncensored Cimmerian

Cover art by Chris Regnault

Having already teased the opening of the story for Free Comic Book Day, Ablaze is publishing the English-language translation of Glénat's original French "uncensored" adaption of Howard's Conan adventure Xuthal Of The Dusk (aka The Slithering Shadow), starting next month (July 22).

Variant cover by Stevan Subic

The remaining two monthly chapters of the three-part adaptation are then due to arrive in August and September, with the following main cover art work:

Cover art by Ito

Cover art by Stevan Subic

Cover art by Ito

Cover art by Stevan Subic

RISING TIDES LIFT ALL BARBARIANS!

Tides of The Tyrant-King #1 cover art by Roberto De La Torre

This September, the latest annual Conan The Barbarian event mini-series kicks off from Titan Comics and Heroic Signatures. 

Penned, as ever, by the ineffable 'Grim' Jim Zub, with art by Jésus Merino, Tides of The Tyrant-King, teased in this year's Free Comic Book Day offering, has Conan believing that Thulsa Doom's evil has been banished forever, but...

"...the Atlantean necromancer’s dark power stirs once more and, if it cannot be stopped, the dead shall overtake the living!

"The Tyrant-King of Atlantis returns and all shall suffer, unless Conan and his brave allies can turn back the tide! 

"The story follows Conan the Barbarian and Stephen Costigan, both warriors in different times - their battles are mirrored, as both of them are connected by a familiar evil that seeps its way into both stories…"

Variant cover art by Gerardo Zaffino

Variant cover art by Jésus Merino

Variant cover art by Roberto De La Torre

Variant cover art by Stuart Sayger

Variant cover art by Utsab Chatterjee

The first issue of Conan The Barbarian: Tides of The Tyrant-King is due to wash ashore in comic book stores on September 23, but on September 16 the glorious black-and-white magazine The Savage Sword of Conan #16 will include three tales connected to the wider Howardverse arc, all written by Jim Zub.

These yarns include:

"...a mesmeric Conan tale of corrupted memories and creeping madness with artist Nicola Scott, a return to the weird western world of Howardian gunslinger Steve Corcoran in a sequel to the classic Robert E. Howard tale Vultures of Whapeton with artist Chris Campana, and a descent into the shadowed past of mini-series femme fatale Zuleika with artist Sean Izaakse."

The Savage Sword of Conan #16, cover art by Joe Jusko

The Savage Sword of Conan #16, cover art by Nick Percival

DING! DING! ROUND TWO!

Yes, I am wearing my Conan The Barbarian t-shirt. 

Just over a year since the first glorious volume arrived from the Robert E Howard Foundation Press (via Amazon, I must confess), the second hardback collection of the prodigious pulp writer's boxing stories is now in my hands.

And on the weekend of 40th annual Howard Days over in Cross Plains, Texas, no less.

I was particularly keen to get my mitts on Fists of Iron: Round Two because it's wall-to-wall Sailor Steve Costigan yarns. 

Although Howard is best known for his swords-and-sorcery stories featuring the likes of Conan, Kull, and Bran Mak Morn: as I've declared many times before, Sailor Steve Costigan is my favourite of Howard's many characters. 

That's Steve and his bulldog Mike on the cover

This is only the second volume of a planned four-volume series of Howard's boxing stories. And money - and space - willing I'm all in for the complete set.

I'm not generally what you'd call a sporty person, but there's a definite fascination in Howard's journalistic, blow-by-blow descriptions of boxing bouts, be they legal or otherwise. 

And Costigan is a charming, hard-drinking, goofy lunk, prone to being led into chaotic misadventures by a pretty face, and who resolves his problems with his fists and his feisty bulldog, Mike. I mean, what's not to enjoy?

Complementing Fists of Iron: Round Two, I also picked up  the self-published Fight Card: The Adventures of Sailor Tom Sharkey by Howard scholar Mark Finn (he even wrote the introduction to Fists of Iron: Round Two!).

Finn's homage to Sailor Steve imagines a boisterous, pulp adventure-packed life for the very real, early 20th Century, boxer Tom Sharkey after he officially hung up his gloves. Sharkey, I believe, was an inspiration for Howard when penning the Sailor Steve tales. 

Mark Finn also wrote Blood & Thunder, the highly-regarded biography of Robert E Howard.

Sailor Steve has already found a home on my Robert E Howard shelf

Know Me, Know My Shelves

Works of, or inspired by, George RR Martin, JRR Tolkien and Jim Henson

Despite the heat wave plaguing our little corner of the world this week, I think I've finished organising my wonderful new bookshelves (put together for me by Rachel's dad last year).

As they are, the shelves are a pretty decent encapsulation of the inside of my brain, focussing on my favourite authors and favourite themes.

From Westeros to the World of Mortal Engines, via the Hyborian Age and Mega-City One, right through to the Planet of The Apes and the Wild West, this is a guided tour of my psyche and my primary, literary gaming inspirations.

Of course, these are not my only book shelves in the house, but are my most recently built and filled.

Pretty sure, now, there's no more room for any more shelves... although there's always room for more books.

Philip Reeve

Conan The Barbarian

Robert E Howard

HP Lovecraft and The Cthulhu Mythos

Westerns - there are more Western paperbacks in another cupboard

Judge Dredd & 2000AD (plus a sneaky little RPG that has yet to find a home)

Planet of The Apes

The Importance of Michael Moorcock to RPG History

In preparation for the release of its Classic Era of Elric roleplaying game (compatible with Dungeon Crawl Classics and Dungeons & Dragons 5e), Goodman Games has published a nice overview of Michael Moorcock's importance in the world of sword and sorcery fiction, as well as his influence on the fantasy roleplaying game oeuvre.

You can read the article about Elric's creator here.

Goodman Games' The Classic Era of Elric roleplaying game (yeah, I can't get my head round that name yet. I'm wondering if it's just a placeholder) will be the subject of a crowdfunding campaign on BackerKit next year and you can sign up to be alerted when that launches here.

Moorcock is the youngest and only living author mentioned in Gary Gygax's famous Appendix N list of inspirational authors for Dungeons & Dragons players and gamesmasters, from the 1979 Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master's Guide.

Below you will find a 2019 interview with Michael Moorcock from the Appendix N Book Club podcast, in which the forthright author shares his views on gaming companies using his creations, racism in the works of Lovecraft and Agatha Christie, why he prefers the adventures of Conan to Lord Of The Rings, the birth and evolution of Elric (not an elf!), the benefits of comic book adaptations, writing Hawkmoon books in three days, The Multiverse and destroying universes, Dan Dare's optimistic future, activism, feminism, Brexit... and a plug for his most recent music album!

You can download the podcast episode here via iTunes or listen to it here:

The Vikings (1958)

The Vikings, one of the most iconic movies from my youth, has been given a blu-ray upgrade in 2017, which I immediately pulled the trigger on.

While not laden with extras, it's still a worthwhile investment if you have such fond memories of this as I do.

Based on the 1951 novel by Edison Marshall and echoing the stories retold in The History Channel's Vikings series, this action-packed 1950's epic primarily focuses on the seething resentment between churlish and vain Einar (the immortal Kirk Douglas) - son of legendary Viking king Ragnar Lodbrok (Ernest Borgnine) - and strong-willed slave Eric (Tony Curtis).

Einar is already pissed at Eric for disfiguring his face (one of many stand-out moments in this marvellous movie), but then they both find themselves drawn towards the kidnapped English princess Morgana (Psycho's Janet Leigh), who is, in turn, betrothed to the odious King Aella (Frank Thring) of Northumbria.

Treacherous Northumbrian nobleman Lord Egbert (James Donald), a long-time ally of Ragnar, happens to know that Eric is actually the heir to the throne of Northumbria... as well as a son of Ragnar (and therefore half-brother of Einar).

He hopes to use this knowledge to his own advantage, while exacting revenge on Aella through Ragnar's Vikings.

Beautifully filmed in vivid Technicolour by Oscar-winning Sevenoaks cinematographer Jack Cardiff (who I interviewed while I was working for the local paper there), the Blu-Ray makes The Vikings look as fresh and new as possible.

Kirk Douglas has never looked more menacing, Tony Curtis more handsome, and Janet Leigh more gorgeous.

Supported by an incredible cast, with breathtakingly detailed practical sets, and shot at a variety of eye-catching locations around Europe, under the guidance of director Richard Fleischer (Conan The Destroyer; 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea; Fantastic Voyage; Soylent Green; Doctor Dolittle; The Boston Strangler etc), it's no wonder that this movie has stayed with me since I saw it on TV as a young kid.

As was the fashion with many vintage films, the ending is rather abrupt (once its central storyline has concluded) and leaves a lot of points unresolved that would have 21st Century audiences racing to the Internet to moan about or resolve through fan-fiction.

But this doesn't distract from the non-stop adventure that drives the narrative from the opening narration of Orson Welles to the final credits.

To modern sensibilities, raised on the likes of Game of Thrones, the largely bloodless fight sequences and the occasionally theatrical acting may feel a bit dated, but truly this is a wonderful, engrossing, two-hour historical romp.

And any gamer worth his salt, once he's seen Einar's "axe climb", will be wanting to recreate that sequence in his next Dungeons & Dragons adventure...

Missed Out On Free Conan Comic Day? Fret Not...

Conan of Cimmeria believed that Thulsa Doom’s evil had been banished forever, but the Atlantean necromancer’s dark power stirs once more and, if it cannot be stopped, the dead shall overtake the living! The Tyrant-King of Atlantis returns and all shall suffer, unless Conan and his brave allies can turn back the tide!

Did you miss out on the Conan The Barbarian offering on May 2's Free Comic Book Day?

Don't worry - publishers Titan Comics has you covered. The 24-page book is now available as a free, downloadable PDF direct from them, here.

Written by legendary Conan scribe Jim Zub, with art by Jesus Merino, the comic is a prelude to the next big Howardverse comic book crossover event, Tides of the Tyrant King, starting in the Autumn.

This year's event ties into the classic 1929 Robert E Howard pulp story Skull-Face, his take on the Sax Rohmer's popular Fu Manchu adventures that began in 1912.

Tides of the Tyrant King also features, from the original Skull-Face yarn, Soldier Stephen Costigan, cousin of my favourite Howard creation Sailor Steve Costigan.

Dragon Crusaders (2011)

You have to admire the unrepentant chutzpah of The Asylum for its continued use of unattributed quotes making grandiose claims on their DVD boxes.

For Dragon Crusaders, an "anonymous critic" has declared it: "an epic action adventure in the tradition of Clash Of The Titans and Reign Of Fire!"

The Reign Of Fire angle being that it features dragons and the only Clash Of The Titans (presumably the remake) connection is the use of dodgy CGI - and, to be honest, it's actually a bit better here.

Dragon Crusaders is typical, low-budget Asylum mockbuster fare, but I've always contended that their fantasy, sword-and-sorcery titles are among their best - 2006's Dragon was the first Asylum flick I saw and remains my favourite.

A group of outlawed Knights Templar are fleeing across faux-Medieval England to find a sanctuary from the pursuing soldiers of the king (who we never see and are quickly forgotten about) when they are distracted by sounds of battle in a nearby town, which is being raided by pirates.

The Templars - of course - ride in and save the day, slaying the pirates, and then heading out to the pirate ship (which looks oddly anachronistic) to finish the job.

Unfortunately, as they arrive, a captive witch - Neem (Shinead Byrne) - on the ship has just finished invoking a curse that any who set foot on the boat and have shed blood will be transformed into demonic gargoyles.

The curse has a couple of twists - first anyone affected by it, but slain before the transformation takes place, will rise as a revenant and secondly the purer the soul of the cursed the longer the transformation will take.

Dispatching the pirate-revenants with the aid of wandering warrior woman Aerona (Cecily Fay), Neem reveals that she found the curse in a grimoire she stole from the "Black Dragon" sorcerer who has her people in thrall.

And the only way to break the curse is to travel to the Black Dragon's fortress and slay him. Oh, and Faolon (Steve McTigue) is called the Black Dragon because he can transform into one and has another seven, smaller dragons under his control.

There's witchcraft, bickering, internal disputes, chaste romance and some pretty decent fight scenes (even if one of the largest, against an entire 'village' of the sorcerer's slaves, just seems to suddenly stop without any resolution) along the way and if you can ignore the plot holes, dreadful acting, cheesy dialogue and laughable attempts at banter, Dragon Crusaders is an okay film.

Welsh-location filming certainly adds to the verisimilitude, and the woodlands and sweeping, rolling landscape makes for a dramatic backdrop to the action.

A 'silent' knight turns up at one point, peppering our heroes with arrows, seemingly commanding Faolon's dragons and then challenging the lead Templar, John (Dylan Jones), to single combat... but then disappears from the story as suddenly as he appeared.

Throw in some exploding salt peter for good measure, some slick fight moves from Aerona and the Templar's resident archer (Feth Greenwood) and there's quite a bit to keep you entertained for an hour-and-a-half as long as you aren't expecting a replay of Peter Jackson's Lord Of The Rings or either iteration of Conan The Barbarian.

TOMORROW IS FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!!!

Tomorrow is that most wonderful day known as Free Comic Book Day (and Comic Giveaway Day, for reasons).

The day when comic book publishers (large and small) try to tempt you to try their wares - or hook existing readers in for the next "must read" story arc - with free sampler comics at your friendly local comic store.

Remember, the books may be free to you - but the store still pays for them, so don't be greedy!

I've already revealed several of the titles that have caught my eye this year, such as the two Conan comics and Marvel's "apes and aliens" book, but there's also a He-Man and the Masters of the Universe/Dungeons & Dragons offering from Dark Horse that will scratch a certain itch.

This Month Conan Teams-Up With Legendary Italian Hero

Issue one cover art by Roberto De La Torre

Pulled to the mysterious land of Erondár by dark forces, Conan comes face to face with the famed dragon slayer, Dragonero, and the two warriors must set aside suspicion to stand back-to-back against a supernatural force poised to doom both their worlds.

This landmark crossover brings together two legendary heroes in a story that honours classic sword-and-sorcery while forging something bold and unforgettable.

On May 13, Conan of Cimmeria and Dragonero meet for the first time in Conan & Dragonero #1, from Titan Comics.