Figuring Out My Mummy Issues

It's a definite truism - and a meme - that as you grow older people are less inclined to ask you your favourite dinosaur (it's a diplodocus, by the way) but I've realised the same is true for your favourite monster. Specifically the original Universal Monsters.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Not sure exactly why. 

I'm pretty certain my friend, the author Charles R Rutledge would say Dracula, but I really had to put my thinking head on before it struck me which monster I'm most fascinated by.

The Mummy.

Although my favourite old Universal monster movie is, of course, the marvellous Bride of Frankenstein, the actual Bride is only really on-screen for around five minutes.

However, The Mummy is ubiquitous in films, comics, games etc. 

I even did a whole series of Show Me The Mummy movie reviews... and am planning a second such collection of write-ups in due course.

The Mummy was also a key antagonist in both issues of my DIY comic, Monster Mag, that I created as a youngling. For instance, in the first issue it easily defeated the Hulk! You can find issue one here and issue two here. 

From the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
Monster Manual, pg 72

And I've always been a fan of mummies as monsters in the old school Dungeons & Dragons games of my youth (really must bring them back at some point!).

There were some grand pyramid-themed dungeons in old issues of the Judges Guild magazines around at the time.

But all this has culminated in Rachel buying me a most incredible present the other day: the Ultimate Mummy action figure of Boris Karloff's portrayal in the the original 1932 film.

After thanking her profusely, I excitedly told her I now had an excuse to pick up the Ardath Bey figure and the sarcophagus accessory pack!

There is a rule (well, more of a guideline) in this house that my action figures are "tolerated" as long as they are not kept in their boxes, but put out on display.

However, at the moment, I'm so in awe of my Mummy figure that I can't bring myself to open it quite yet.

I also think I might have a new idea for a theme for my protracted castle tower project as well (inspired by the Egyptian Collection at Lord Carnarvon's Highclere Castle [aka Downtown Abbey])! 

The Cimmerian Is Ablaze Once More

Cover art by Chris Regnault

Continuing yesterday's celebration of upcoming comic book releases related - or inspired by - the works of Robert E Howard, July also sees the start of a new miniseries for The Cimmerian.

Once again, after a break of about four years, Ablaze is publishing the English-language translation of Glénat's original French "uncensored" adaption of Howard's Conan adventure Xuthal Of Dusk (aka The Slithering Shadow).

Conan, accompanied by Natala - a slave of wild beauty - advances through the seeming infinity of a sandy desert. With water and food supplies now exhausted, and with the two stranded in turn under a blazing sun and frigid nights, it is clear that the inevitability is death. Right as Natala’s final ounce of strength leaves her, Conan spots something in the distance. It’s a city that shines like glass. It’s Xuthal…

Written by Christophe Bec, with art by Stevan Subić, this will be a three-issue miniseries and marks the regular return of The Cimmerian series, following on from the publisher's Free Comic Book Day release at the start of next month.

Variant cover by Stevan Subic

As I understand it (I am not a copyright lawyer, nor do I play one on TV), Ablaze can publish The Cimmerian because it limits itself to republishing existing European adaptations of Howard’s original Conan stories that are in the public domain in Europe.

Heroic Signatures controls the global Howardverse I.P and works with Titan Comics to publish its new, original, line of wildly successful comics and magazines inspired by Howard's work.

It struck a deal, six or so years ago, with Ablaze to translate and distribute the French Glénat bande dessinée adaptations as The Cimmerian (to differentiate these comics from Titan's new Conan books).

Forthcoming Howardian Comics That Piqued My Interest

Legendary scribe Gail Simone is bringing us The Ring: The Man Who Beat The Man in June, courtesy of Dark Horse.

The eight-issue series, produced in co-operation with venerable boxing magazine, The Ring, follows:

"...veteran Ring Magazine journalist Cameron Duggan and rising broadcast personality Lisa Wolfe, a former podcaster who has transitioned into television commentary. As the pair travel the boxing world covering a new wave of contenders chasing championship glory, they encounter the ambition, rivalries and politics that shape the sport at its highest level.

"Each fighter approaches the pursuit differently, but the goal remains the same, reach the top of the sport and prove himself as the man who beat the man. As Duggan and Wolfe document the journey of these fighters, they also find themselves navigating the pressures and personalities that surround the sport."

While not directly a Robert E Howard story, Two-Gun Bob was a massive fan of boxing and wrote plenty of pulp tales set in that world - including those of my favourite character, Sailor Steve Costigan.

However, the next comic that caught my eye - and will be added to my pull-list PDQ - is pure Howard.

The incredible writer/artist Patrick Zircher brings his take on Howard's Puritan monster-hunter Solomon Kane back for another miniseries from Titan Comics in July.

Solomon Kane: The Lion Errant sees our hero travelling to India, guided by a "mysterious black-maned lion" where he is drawn into a "confrontation between the warrior queen Rani Durgavati and the mighty Mughal Empire".

"But the coming battle is more than a clash of armies. Ancient powers are stirring, gods and demons walk among the living, and Kane’s arcane Atlantean staff may hold the key to it all. Steel meets the divine. The Sword of Vengeance answers a higher call."

Joe Jusko cover art

The final forthcoming comic with serious Robert E Howard vibes is Dan Panosian's Fire And Ice: Darkwolf, from Dynamite, which also kicks off in July.

This is a spin-off from the gorgeous - but erratically published - Fire and Ice sword and sorcery comic book series.

"Born from the immortal imagination of fantasy illustrator supreme Frank Frazetta, Darkwolf storms into a new era of savage fantasy-brought to life by writer Dan "Urban Barbarian" Panosian and powerhouse artist Andrey Lunatik.

"Dynamite's acclaimed exploration of the world of Fire and Ice continues in this new series!

"It all begins when a mother and her twins flee the warlock who sired them - until a masked warrior descends from the mountains and unleashes hell upon their pursuers. But saving them is only the beginning. 

"Violent. Mythic. Unrelenting. This is Darkwolf, and the legend begins here - a fierce, visceral rebirth of one of fantasy's most iconic warriors

Dan Panosian cover art

Marketa Lazarová (1967)

It should be obvious now, if you've read a number of my film reviews, that I have a soft spot for those of a Medieval bent, but have no problem with foreign movies, subtitles, epic durations, black and white, symbolism, non-linear storytelling etc

However, the much-lauded Czech film Marketa Lazarová sorely tested my patience with its plodding, yet rambling, narrative that unfolded at a glacial pace and suffered with a surfeit of "telling rather than showing".

At its core is a basic Hatfield & McCoy feud between two neighbouring clans in 13th Century Czechoslovakia - one headed by the bandit Kozlik The Goat (Josef Kemr), the other by struggling businessman Lazar (Michal Kozuch).

It's a harsh winter, but matters only get worse when Kozlik's family kidnap a nobleman from Saxony, which provokes the King to send his representative to crush the villains and rescue the young man.

Kozlik tries to entice Lazar into siding with him against the King, but when that stratagem fails, Kozlik's son Mikolás (Frantisek Velecký) kidnaps Lazar's virginal daughter Marketa Lazarova (Magda Vásáryová), who had been preparing herself to become a nun.

Bizarrely - in an almost Twilight-like twist of logic - Marketa eventually falls in love with Mikolás and the last third of the movie plays out against the backdrop of their doomed romance.

On paper, the plot sounds quite inspiring and straight-forward, and about 90 minutes in there's a really impressive battle scene when the King's forces, led by Captain Beer (Zdenek Kryzánek), attack the Kozlik hill-top fortress.

But away from this, everything moves so slowly and, even with the frequent "chapter introductions" that are thrown up on screen (as you would find in Victorian novels) to help explain what was going on, it feels as though the story is jumping around - but without any rhyme or reason.

There are also moments of casual European full-frontal nudity and one extended, surreal dream sequence but these just come across as arbitrary and without any real purpose to the narrative.

And it's a 159 minutes long. And you feel every, single minute.

Some of the praise heaped on this film is for its lack of special effects in its fight sequences, but conversely it's worth pointing out that Mikolás has a one-armed brother, Adam (Ivan Palúch), and on a number of occasions you can tell his "lost" arm is simply tucked inside his baggy shirt!

Marketa Lazarová is also quite dark, in appearance as well as tone, often making it difficult to follow what is going on. This also isn't helped by the subtitles - which suffer not only by often being unclear who they are associated with but also I suspect some weak translating along the way.

The occasionally nonsensical subtitles made me strongly suspect that the film makes a lot more sense in its native tongue, if you can remove the barrier of having to rely on someone else's condensed translation of possibly complex or multi-layered ideas.

A number of pretentious and dull film periodicals, which take movies way too seriously, are quoted on the DVD box cover as proclaiming Marketa Lazarová "the best historical film ever made" and "the most convincing film about the Middle Ages made anywhere".

Don't believe them. It may have been when it was made in 1967, but there have since been far better, far more accessible and far less tedious films made about the Middle Ages.

I had been really looking forward to this as I had read such great things about it online, but in the end Marketa Lazarová was a major disappointment and very mundane after the ridiculously inflated praise it has somehow garnered.

New Superhero Zine Launches for Dungeon Crawl Classics

My good pal Justin ' Pun' Isaac has just launched the first issue (The Origin Issue) of his new superhero-themed Dungeon Crawl Classics series, Crisis In Infinite Zines.

Pun describes it as:

"...a new supers toolkit designed for Dungeon Crawl Classics/Mutant Crawl Classics and their superpowered offshoots like Evolved: Super Heroic Time Travel Roleplaying Game and Comic Crawl Classics. You'll find new classes, foes to fight, adventures, and other rules/tropes conversations."

Written with Dave Coppoletti, and illustrated by Dave, David Vance and Joseph Beckelhimer, the 30-page, comic book-sized zine is available in both PDF or POD formats from DriveThru.

The debut issue includes two new classes (The Super Pal and The Butler), two freakish monsters, one fearsome nemesis (The Refrigerator), one giant-sized ape, 30 secret origins, 0-level accessories, comics, letters to the editor, adverts and more.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Happy Birthday to 2000AD

The latest issue of the ever-brilliant Judge Dredd Megazine

This week issue 2470 of the weekly 2000AD sci-fi comic anthology comic, along with issue 489 of the Judge Dredd Megazine - the monthly Dredd-centric spin-off - popped through my letterbox just in time for 2000AD's 49th birthday celebrations today (February 19).

I can't recall if I purchased the first issue of the Megazine when it was launched in 1990 (I suspect not), but I certainly remember picking up the very first issue (prog) of 2000AD, back in 1977, when I was 10.

One of my few remaining vivid memories from that age is of sitting in the back of my parents' car, eagerly reading this comic that was unlike anything I had seen before.

I suspect mum and dad were taking me somewhere "fun", but I was more interested in my copy of 2000AD.

Via

Early issues often came packaged with gifts, such as "biotronic" stickers with the second issue, so you could emulate John Probe (the star of the comic's Six Million Dollar Man clone M.A.C.H. 1) with the illusion of robotic parts peeking through your skin!

It's weird now to think that the big selling point of 2000AD initially was its Dan Dare strip (which, despite some striking visuals, ran for less than two years), and Judge Dredd - now a pop culture icon - didn't even appear until prog two.

2000AD was gritty and darker than my usual fare at the time, and thus felt more 'grown up'.

There are stories from those early days that have firmly cemented themselves into my psyche: such as Flesh (about time-travelling cowboys harvesting dinosaur meat), Shako (soldiers versus a man-eating polar bear in the Artic), and some of the more twisted of Tharg's Future Shocks (self-contained Twilight Zone-like stories with an inevitably bonkers surprise ending).

I read the title weekly for a long time, but, as is my wont, eventually found something else to hold my attention (probably American comics, roleplaying games... and girls).

Judge Dredd's debut in prog #2

I can't pinpoint exactly when I stopped reading 2000AD regularly.

However, I do remember devouring several of the early, important, Judge Dredd story arcs, such as The Judge Child, Judge Death Lives, and the Apocalypse War, which would have taken me to at least prog 270.

Sláine, Pat Mills' mythical Celtic berserker, first appeared in prog 330, and I know I followed his early adventures in the magazine, as I immediately grokked the fact that the ideas presented there could be ported over into a redefining of the "berserker/barbarian" character class in Dungeons & Dragons.

So that's six or seven years of loyal reading.

There was one aspect of the magazine that I never really bought into: the fact that it was supposedly edited by an alien called Tharg (a pseudonym adopted by all the actual editors), who arrived on Earth with his arsenal of "cool" alien slang.

He was an extraterrestrial Stan Lee, but gregarious Stan was always 'The Man', whereas, for me, Tharg was a pale imitation.

I've mellowed rather now and the cringe I felt as a teenager about this whole idea now simply makes me smirk a bit.

In subsequent decades, it was primarily Sláine and Judge Dredd that brought me back into the 2000AD fold, picking up either single issues from newsagents or graphic novel collections of stories from bookshops (or later, Amazon).

Although, for many years, there wasn't the same frisson of excitement picking up and reading the odd prog here and there compared to when I was 10.

It felt as though so much geeky media - and society in general - had shifted in that similar ("don't talk down to young readers") direction, even though 2000AD was the trailblazer.

However, in the last year I have resumed my subscription to 2000AD, paired with my longer-running one to the Megazine, as I'm now finding the various stories - on the whole - in the anthology title are gelling more with my tastes.

I also love the fact that 2000AD's still going strong, and that new readers are discovering the joys of its gritty, British adventures every week.

Can't wait to see what the publishers, Rebellion, have lined up for 2000AD's 50th anniversary next year.

This week's 2000AD "prog"

2000AD, prog one, cover date: February 26,1977

CHAPBOOK REVIEW: Meet The Shrivelwoods (Kek-W)

 

Meet The Shrivelwoods is a 40-page Gothic horror-comedy written by fan-favourite 2000AD scribe, musician and artist Kek-W, available through his Bandcamp merchandise page.

The publication contains two text stories about the creepy Shrivelwood family, wealthy and decadent maple syrup magnates who bear a superficial similarity to The Addams Family but with the darkness dial turned up to thirteen.

Chapbooks are somewhere between a novel and a fanzine, an easily digestible booklet with an affordably low page count; a format with a rich and fascinating history.

The Old Dank Manse, the first story in Meet The Shrivelwoods, tells of a contemporary, failed romance writer seeking solace in the bosom of her rich Vermont extended family, at their "crumbling Gothic mansion", but finding something much stranger than she expects.

The second, Christmas With The Shrivelwoods, takes the form of a late 19th Century letter from Minnie Shrivelwood to her uncle, Heinie, who is currently restrained in the Hartford Retreat For The Insane. It's a bonkers - matter-of-fact - recounting of the family's preparations for the Christmas holidays.

Both tales blend surreality and slapstick with leftfield black humour, shock revelations and general absurdity, as should be expected by those who have read Kek-W's Dark Judges: Fall of Deadworld work in the universe of Judge Dredd.

I was also reminded of the Wojciech Has's very weird The Hourglass Sanitorium for the short stories' occasionally unsettling, nightmarish narrative logic and potentially disturbing imagery.

Rambling - by design - the chapbook's two stories are delightful, amusing, and quick reads that most definitely leave you wanting to hear more about the different generations of this peculiar, and freakish, inbred family of maple syrup-obsessives. 

The Adventures of Breckinridge Elkins by Robert E. Howard

Me and Breckinridge Elkins

This week on his Robert E Howard Show segment, my favourite booktuber, Michael K Vaughan, discusses the latest release from the Robert E. Howard Foundation Press, The Adventures of Breckinridge Elkins.

I just happen to have purchased this hardback tome recently (now that I'm trying to go 'all-in' on this line of definitive publications of Howard's work), although I have to confess the only Elkins' "tall tale" I've read is the one that was published in Savage Sword of Conan magazine last year.

Breckinridge isn't a Howard character I'm particularly au fait with. But Michael does a great job in this video of convincing me that I'll probably enjoy the book, as it seems to bear comedic similarities with my beloved Sailor Steve Costigan yarns, as well as being part of Howard's Western work.

I Blame Nominative Determinism

Showing off my new purchase... which means a new wargames project

Remember the other day when I said I would only be focusing on a single wargame project going forward?

Well, that pledge lasted about a week.

I shall be supplementing my investment in Dead Man's Hand with Hairfoot Jousting, a comical, fantasy jousting game that pitches halflings/hobbits/hairfoots against each other, while mounted upon pigs, sheep, giant turkeys, dogs, ferrets etc 

The rules seem simple and brief, so much so that the delightful book, published by Osprey, is actually split in two. The back half, which you flip the book to read, contains a variant of the game, Wartnose Jousting, allowing you to play despicable goblin jousters riding rats, roaches, frogs etc

Honestly, I couldn't help myself.

I've always been fascinated by knights (the clue's in the name) and, by extension, jousting.

The wallpaper of my childhood bedroom was resplendent with pictures of knights on horseback, and one of my early introductions to the concept of wargames was Andrew McNeil's 1975 tome, Knights At War (part of the Battlegame Book series).

One of the treasured books I have held onto since my childhood

As well as text pieces on the history of knights, arms and armour, heraldry etc, the oversized hardback contained four games. Each game's board was a double spread of pages, and the rules and counters you cut out from the card insert pages. It was a brilliantly simple idea that I can't believe hasn't been revived.

My favourite, and most played, game in the book was, unsurprisingly, Tournament, where you took control of teams of jousting combatants.

The other games were Arsouf, refighting the 12th Century clash between Saladin and Richard the Lionheart; Siege, which did exactly what it says on the tin; and Border Raiders, a snatch-and-grab scenario involving feuding 13th Century German lords.

To be honest, they were all great games, but it was Tournament I returned to most often.

In recent years, these passions have seen me visiting living history and re-enactment shows to get a more visceral taste of Medieval life.

For a while, there was even coverage of genuine, full contact jousting (rather than the scripted, wrestling-style jousting you see in the grounds of various castles and stately homes around the UK in the summer) on television.

I became quite a fan of world champion Charlie Andrews and his Knights of Mayhem. Sadly, those television shows - like the equally-enthralling Knight Fight about the Armoured Combat League - failed to attract the attention of audiences who'd rather watch yet more "documentaries" about Ancient Aliens and the Second World War.

Of course, now we have the magnificent A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms, the latest Game of Thrones spin-off, whose story unfolds amidst the grime and graphic violence of a jousting tournament. 

Anyway, I already ordered myself a set of miniatures for my new jousting wargame - a team of hairfoot jousters on their assorted mounts - from North Star, the game's manufacturer, using my monthly discount code from my Wargames Illustrated subscription. The figures arrived today.

Expect more updates on this new project in the future.

Hairfoot jousters from North Star Military Figures

Conan The Librarian

New shorty short box (on right) for my Conan The Barbarian comics

Part of my ambition to get through my massive backlog of unread comics also involves tidying up and organising those that I have read.

I've long wanted to get my Conan The Barbarian comics in one place and so have started with that phase of the operation.

I picked up a new short box (unexpectedly shorter than the short boxes I already owned), labelled it with a sticker I got from Etsy for just this purpose, and began going through the individual issues I had that would now take up residence in the new box.

Barbarian sticker from Etsy

So far, my efforts have focussed on the current Titan/Heroic Signatures-published Conan The Barbarian titles, the event mini-series they've produced, and their Solomon Kane comic books (to keep the Robert E Howard theme going).

I've also filed away some miscellaneous titles like an old Kull comic and a guide to The Hyborian Age that Marvel produced back in the day as part of its Official Handbooks line.

But these were the easy ones to find and sort, as I had most to hand. Now I need to decide if I also include Marvel's most recent run of Conan The Barbarian (which are scattered through piles under the bed and in the office) or even the few stray issues from their original, legendary run.

I don't own many of those issues from the '70s or '80s as I have a decent library of the omnibuses of both Conan The Barbarian and The Savage Sword of Conan.

This, in turn, reminds me to think about the new iteration of Savage Sword. As a magazine-sized publication it doesn't fit in standard comic book storage containers. However, it does slide nicely onto my shelves, so I'm pretty certain I won't much problem keeping them in order: most already have a home on the shelf next to the omnibus collection.

Ultraviolence For The Masses: Action Is Uncancelled!

Those of us of a certain age will have fond memories of United Kingdom's short-lived Action comic - the foundation upon which 2000AD was built - while the rest of you may only be encountering this controversial title for the first time.

During the mid-70s, this the shocking and ultra-violent comic attracted the ire of cartoonish, self-proclaimed moral guardian, Mary Whitehouse and helped fuel a tabloid-created "panic" that led to the withdrawal of Action from the shelves.

A neutered edition of the comic followed, but this was of little interest to its readership and Action was axed in 1977, with its earlier vim and vigour laying the groundwork for the arrival of 2000AD..

On April 15, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the publication of the first issue of Action, publishers Rebellion will be unleashing an all-new, oversized special edition.

This features:

Dredger by Garth Ennis and John Higgins. Britain’s deadliest secret agent returns, hitting the vengeance trail after the death of his partner, Breed. Dredger kills and maims his way across London, intent on delivering his own brand of justice. How much of London will be left when he’s finished?

Hook Jaw by Steve White and Staz Johnson. There’s a killer out at sea! The vicious Hook Jaw has been seen in the depths of the ocean again, the killer shark with no regard for human life – and he’s heading out on the hunt! As a crew of drug dealers attempt to complete a sale in lawless international waters, they attract the attention of the legendary shark… this isn’t going to be pretty!

Hellman of Hammer Force by Garth Ennis and Mike Dorey. Blazing battle action on the Eastern Front in 1944, as Panzer commander Kurt Hellman leads a small German armoured unit against massed Soviet forces. As the tank men struggle to survive in this frozen hell, they face a new and terrible savagery from their vengeance-crazed Russian enemies.

Look Out For Lefty by Rob Williams and Patrick Goddard. Footballer Kenny “Lefty” Lampton has the most dangerous left foot in the game, blazing the ball through the net. But Lefty doesn’t play fair, and his temper constantly flares up on the pitch, boiling over into fury and violence! After his anger leaves him stranded on the subs bench, he finally gets his chance – this could be his big comeback, a chance to regain his lost glory! As The Royal Family watch on from the stand, can Lefty keep it under control for ninety minutes?

I always enjoyed the 'future sports' stories, such as Death Game 1999, but my favourite strip was the bloody, Jaws-inspired, sharksploitation of Hook Jaw. So, I'm delighted to see that's returning in this special issue.

Elric In Hell!

My beloved original Arduin Grimoire trilogy

I mentioned the foundational roleplaying text (for me) the Arduin Grimoire the other day, but I'm pretty certain it's not as famous (infamous?) these days as it was when I was growing up as a young gamer.

When I first encountered Dungeons & Dragons, back in the late 70s, I had little to no idea about the concept of worldbuilding.

It wasn't until I acquired the three little tan books that make up David Hargrave's original Arduin Grimoire trilogy (there are now nine volumes in total, but none as inspirational as the first three) that it even dawned on me that 'other people' were making up their own worlds to campaign in.

The first thing that struck me, and that I still love today, was the sense that the history of Arduin had been a co-operative development between the gamesmaster and his players.

This was crystallised in the dedication pages of the first two volumes where Dave lists the names of the some of the player characters and their fates.

In the first volume, Dave's own character is listed simply as "Elric The Hell-Lost", but this is expanded upon in volume two, Welcome To Skull Tower:

"The Baron In Exile, Lord of the House Of The Tower of the Dragon, wishes to thank formally the brave and steadfast people who gave their years and their lives to return him and his from the very clutches of the Lord Of The Undead.

"These true friends crossed three hells and seven and a half long, long years to fight their way to our succour. Our House is ever in the debt of the House Of The Rising Sun, the House of Ibathene, the House of Greylorn the Patriach, and to all those heroes who joined in that undertaking.

"You who slew the Great Lord of the Undead himself know who you are, and you know that our House will give its all in your need, if ever that time should come. We who were hell lost and soul caged SALUTE YOU, our comrades and friends.

"David A Hargrave

"a.k.a. Elric,

"Baron and Lord of

"The House of the Dragon Tower".

However, the most detailed explanation of these events came in issue two of the superb Different Worlds magazine,  in which Dave Hargarve recounted a potted history of his campaign:

"Elric, Duke and Lord of the Dragon Tower, spent seven years in hell, a captive of Cimmeries, Lord of the Undead. The efforts to free him cost the souls of over 40 other characters and was directly linked to the causes of the Great Insurrection. But freed he was, to take up a blood feud with those he felt had left him there!"

It's no wonder that that imagery has stuck in my head for the better part of 30 years, and has constantly played a leading role in my "wish list" of unfulfilled role-playing moments.

Although the hefty Legendary Lands Of Arduin makes reference to Cimmeries as Lord of the Undead and Elric's House of the Dragon Tower, there is no mention in that 800-page tome of his time in the underworld that I can see (but I haven't read the book cover-to-cover!)

I'd love to find out more details of this "campaign-within-a-campaign", if there is anyone out there in the Interwebs with more detailed knowledge please get in touch.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: The Dark Tower

Image by Darren Vannoy from Pixabay

My first gaming store was Tunbridge Wells' only dedicated roleplaying shop and club, The Dark Tower, in Victoria Road.

Through rose-tinted glasses, the vague wisps of memory I have about the place make it appear as iconic as Weird Pete Ashton's Games Pit in Knights Of The Dinner Table.

Sadly the shop was demolished long ago and has now been redeveloped for housing.

I seem to recall The Dark Tower was next to - or near - a small scrapyard, as one Sunday as we queued up patiently outside, waiting for the shop to open its doors for a regular club meeting, this line of innocent proto-geeks was harangued by the clearly drunk scrapmerchant on his front step complaining that we were disturbing his rest.

Decades later Clare and I shared a house just a stone's throw away from the site of the old Dark Tower - how brilliant would it have been if the shop (and club) was still there?

I do think it's a bit of a shame that, as far as I am aware (and I have looked) there's no mention of Tunbridge Wells' old game shop anywhere on the Interwebz.

It was such a formative part of my tween and early teenage years.

As well as the site of my earliest recorded character death - poor old Gordok (well out of his depth in Tegel Manor) - it was also where I purchased my first gaming product and, subsequently, began to pick up regular gaming magazines: which, for me, in those days meant White Dwarf.

I remember 11-year-old me striding into The Dark Tower clutching my pocket money and asking for the cheapest edition of Dungeons & Dragons they had. I came out a little while later with the Holmes blue book (pictured above).

This was edition I used when I tried to explain roleplaying games to my poor dad. He rolled up a dwarf who walked down a corridor under the Tower of Zenopus (the example adventure in the book), got attacked by a spider, died and never played Dungeons & Dragons again.

The shop wasn't the only place to host our nascent "gaming club"; after a while a nearby church hall was hired for regular gatherings (possibly St Barnabus' Church Hall in Quarry Road, but, as you may have gathered, my memory is rather Swiss cheesed these days).

This venue is where Staghind had her first adventure (ie. The Crypte of The Courageous).

I also have a strong memory of sitting in the waiting room of a podiatrist in Lime Hill Road, Tunbridge Wells, reading White Dwarf issue 11.

I suspect mum had let me buy it, from The Dark Tower, to take my mind off the fact that was I was about to have a verruca carved out of my left heel.

Later, I recall cutting out the pieces of the "D&D Bar-Room Brawl" game, 'laminating' them with Sellotape, and playing it repeatedly (on my own, of course).

AND THE WINNER ISSSSSSS...

For my money, the strongest comic book of the year was the Judge Death 2025 Mega Special, from Rebellion.

I've always loved the fact that the futuristic, post-apocalyptic, sci-fi world of Judge Dredd also freely embraces the supernatural.

Thus, it should come as no surprise that my favourite villainous characters in the decades-long, ongoing saga are The Dark Judges: Judge Fear, Judge Mortis, Judge Fire and their iconic poster boy, Judge Death.

This year's Mega Special, published to celebrate 45 years of Dredd's demonic nemeses, showcased all four of the Dark Judges in their own nightmare-fuelled short stories, beautifully written and illustrated by a variety of creators from 2000AD's stable of talent.

Antony Johnston's ultracreepy Fade To Grey (with art from Lee Carter and letters by Rob Steen), for instance, gave me a whole new appreciation of Judge Mortis

This 48-page magazine, released in time for Halloween, has been the only comic book in 2025 that, once I'd reached the end, I had a powerful urge to simply start again at page one.

Imagine my delight this Christmas when I discovered that Rachel had not only got me a print of that incredibly striking Brian Bolland cover but also had it framed, so that it was ready to hang once the seasonal festivities were in the rear view mirror.

The framed picture has now found a permanent residence on the wall adjacent to my new Dredd-laden bookshelves.

Archie & Pals Retaining Their Youthful Looks At 85

In March, Archie Comics is releasing a "jumbo comic magazine" celebrating 85 years of the wholesome adventures of Archie Andrews, Jughead Jones, and Betty Cooper (Veronica didn't appear until the following year!).

The publishers publicity blurb for the 112-page book reads as follows:

"Archie Comics is proud to present a jumbo-sized magazine celebrating 85 years of heart, humour, and hijinks! This magazine will collect some of the most important (and hilarious!) stories in Archie’s history, featuring your favourite characters from the worlds of Archie, Sabrina, Josie & the Pussycats, and more! This is a collector’s edition you can’t miss!"

The Dan DeCarlo/Rosario “Tito” Peña cover depicts the icomnic image of Archie sharing a milkshake with Betty and Veronica.

Savage Sword of Conan Swings Into Third Year

Main cover art by Alex Horley

Originally conceived as a six-issue mini-series lasting for a year, Titan Comics' hugely popular black-and-white Savage Sword of Conan magazine is now entering its third year of publication.

Buoyed up by blockbuster sales from eager fans, issue 13 is scheduled to arrive in March, featuring the return of the now-classic team of Roy Thomas and Roberto De La Torre for a "mesmerizing" Conan tale.

The magazine will also include a silent Solomon Kane story from writer Enrique Dueñas González and artist James Castillo, plus pin-ups and more.

Alternate cover art by James Castillo

THROWBACK THURSDAY: The Boy Reporter

The world-famous "Boy Reporter" Tintin has always been part of my life. I can remember getting Hergé's beautiful comic strip albums from the library as a wee nipper and seeing them displayed in revolving stands in old-timey book stores.

I've long considered Tintin as one the major fictional inspirations (along with Clark Kent) that steered me towards a career in journalism at the tender age of 18.

When Rachel's firm went on a day trip to Bruges (in Belgium) back in 2009 my only request was a Tintin-related gift, and she picked me up an artistic mouse mat (from when they were a thing) decorated with an Hergé sketch.

This nicely complemented my small, but precious, collection of Tintinalia that I've accumulated over the years.

Until recently, I only actually owned a small number of the Tintin albums, including my original 1972 copy of The Crab With The Golden Claws (pictured at the top and bottom of this article), which has been in my possession since I was about six or seven.

To date, this is my favourite story of Tintin and Snowy, also introducing us to Captain Haddock, but I have to confess I know for certain that I've only read a handful of the books... and most of those when I was very young.

Back when I was working as an editor of trade magazines - in the years before going university - one of the 'perks' of being paid to jet around Europe was the ability to hunt for Tintin merch (it was more interesting than the trade shows about plastic extruding machinery that I was actually there to cover). 

Two of my Tintin reference books... one of which I can actually read!

I can't remember exactly where I picked up my French-language guide to Hergé's universe, Tintinolatrie by Albert Algoud, but it was probably the same trip where I found a Tintin shop around the corner from my hotel and snagged a pair of Tintin: Boy Reporter socks (sadly long gone).

Around this time (it must have been the late 1980s to mid-1990s) I also used to drive down to Brighton a lot, to visit friends and go shopping, and there was a lovely little store in The Lanes that sold high-end Tintin ware.

So, over a series of visits, I purchased a small selection of Tintin crockery that, to this day, has pride of place in the French dresser in our dining room.

My small, but beloved, collection of Tintin crockery

About a decade or so back, I also recall one of my friends buying me a Tintin t-shirt during their Asian travels (I think it was a bootleg Tintin in Vietnam design), but that too has sadly gone (again, as old clothes tend to).

A few Christmasses ago (or maybe it was my birthday), Rachel got me Michael Farr's highly regarded Tintin: The Complete Companion, a comprehensive overview of the backgrounds to the stories and a look at Hergé's source material, photos, sketches etc

Unfortunately, I think Tintin has always played second fiddle to my love of American comics primarily because the latter always has new offerings every month, making it feel like a "living hobby" (the longer you leave it, the more there is to catch up on) whereas Hergé's Tintin consists of a set canon, never to be expanded upon, and so remains static and always available. 

Where It All Started: My Childhood Treasure

The Life & Times of Staghind Starlight Aramioc-Blacksword

Lengthy "Tell Me About Your Character" Alert...

Last week's piece about my early RPG characters got me thinking about my most successful and enduring Dungeons & Dragons character: Staghind Starlight Aramioc-Blacksword The First.

By mid-1979, the club side of The Dark Tower had outgrown the rooms above the shop and relocated to a community hall a short distance away in a more suburban area of Tunbridge Wells.

As well as all the normal campaigns being run, one Dungeon Master (I don't recall his name) was running a "competition" dungeon, known as The Crypte Of The Courageous. He told me to create a third level character, so I turned for advice to the best source of reliable information I knew... the counter monkey at The Dark Tower.

His immediate suggestion was a half-elf magic-user/fighter/cleric (I had embraced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons by this time)... and so was born Staghind.

Staghind's first character sheet - from her run through The Crypte Of The Courageous

Not only did she (and her fellow adventurer whose name has faded into obscurity) become the first team to conquer The Crypte Of The Courageous in July 1979, but she would eventually become my longest surviving and, beyond a shadow of a doubt, favourite Dungeons & Dragons character.

Among her other achievements in her illustrious career - before settling down as Queen Of Norll, Jalla and Elfland - she rescued a fellow party member from boiling mud in White Plume Mountain (admittedly she'd knocked him in there first); liberated the Simarils from Morgoth; gained storm giant strength for 10 years from a raid on a giant's lair; and - most impressively - was taught martial arts by a duck master of Quack Fu!

Oh yes, she also met the legendary White Dwarf and her own god, Niffle. Apparently his mission is to seek out those who are worthy enough to worship him (he doesn't actively court worshippers). As it says on her character sheet below she has only ever actually met one other Nifflite - the high-priest of the faith, a gentleman by the name of Thor.

She was married twice; first to Gublin's main character Egghead Aramioc and then to Guy Huckle's Glorfindel Blacksword. She had seven children and adopted one (a duck by the name of Quincy).

Her eldest daughter, Elean, made an appearance in the first few sessions of  the first campaign I ran for the Tuesday Knights as a pirate leader (Staghind herself was masquerading as queen of the Amazonian island of Zenn).

I had always had a very definite idea of what Staghind looked like, but it wasn't until issue 24 of White Dwarf came out that I actually had a visual representation of my vision (see picture above).

However, in recent years I've begun to reimagine her as resembling Sandahl Bergman's Valeria from the 1980's Conan The Barbarian movie.

 

 

The final page of Staghind's "retirement" character sheet (immediately above) details her subterranean 'castle' (the former Halls Of The Elf King; a dungeon she took over), her fleet of ships, her magic horse and her small orc army.

Ahh, those were the days!

There was no set game world when we played, Staghind moved from campaign to campaign, Dungeon Master to Dungeon Master and no one questioned her ever-increasing wealth or powers. This goes a long way towards explaining the bizarre diversity of her travels and treasures - from obvious Tolkienesque material to Howard The Duck-inspired martial arts skills.

I'd like to point out that at some stage I deducted the "bonus experience points" she was gifted to start at 3rd level, so the experience points you see on her sheet were all earned by her own sweat and blood.

I certainly wouldn't be adverse, one day, to bringing her out of retirement, but - on the other hand - I'm quite content to leave her, safe and sound, on her throne, surrounded by all her wonderful acquisitions and memories.

Most likely though is I'll use either the map of her castle or of The Crypte Of The Courageous as a dungeon in a future campaign, with Staghind's numerous magic items and plentiful finances as the treasure.

Afterall, who could resist the chance to own the delightfully-named "vorpal sword of everlasting flame of disintegration"?

HAPPY 62nd BIRTHDAY TO DOCTOR WHO!!!

On the evening of November 23, 1963, the BBC aired An Unearthly Child, the very first episode of Doctor Who... and history was made.

Back in 2009, I convinced Rachel to watch this episode "to gauge her opinion of what I regard as one of the single, finest episodes of science-fiction ever screened". 

Here's what I wrote at the time (with some mathematical adjustments): 

I'm pleased to report that she enjoyed it; her only problems were the graininess of the image (well, it was filmed in 1963) and she couldn't accept Susan (Carole Ann Ford) as a 15-year-old. Rachel said: "She looked more like 30!"

Could anyone have imagined, when this episode was first screened [62] years ago, the infinite possibilities for storytelling that were being opened up?

Kicking off with a pitch-perfect first episode helped Doctor Who hit the ground running, dropping hints about the mysterious genius schoolgirl, Susan, and her enigmatic Grandfather (William Hartnell) and posing many questions that - to this day - remain unanswered!

Coal Hill School teachers Ian Chesterton (William Russell) and Barbara Wright (Jacqueline Hill), teachers of science and history respectively (the two subjects the series was initially most interested in), want to find out more about their star pupil and head to the address the school has for her.

It turns out to be a junkyard where they meet a strange, white-haired old man (The Doctor) who tries to drive them off and stop them poking around an old police box (where Ian thinks the man might be holding Susan prisoner!).

Instead Susan opens the door of the police box and the teachers walk in... to find themselves in the control room of the TARDIS... and nothing will ever be the same again, either for them or for the viewers.

How mind-blowing must it have been in 1963 to watch these people step through the doors of a 'normal' police box and find themselves in the vast, hi-tech expanse of a space and time ship?

William Hartnell's Doctor, at this stage, is still rather irascible and certainly doesn't appreciate the interference of two busybody teachers into his time on Earth (fixing the TARDIS and, we discover many years later, dealing with the Hand Of Omega).

Hence, his rather impetuous way of keeping his and Susan's secret - transporting the TARDIS away randomly, taking Ian and Barbara with them!

The TARDIS clearly isn't fully repaired as its first televised journey manages to knock Ian and Barbara unconscious and The Doctor and Susan appear rather strained by it as well.

They have travelled back to Earth's Stone Age and that is a story (called variously The Tribe Of Gum, 100,000BC, The Stone Age, The Cavemen etc) which I've always, rather cheekily, considered its own entity. I feel An Unearthly Child suffers if lumped in with this subsequent, less-than-enthralling adventure.

Of course, the main thing is that Rachel didn't fall asleep or wander off while An Unearthly Child was playing and allowed me to explain to her why this one episode is so important - because without it we wouldn't have over [60] years of Doctor Who and all the books, CDs, magazines, action figures etc

The TV listing in November 23's issue of the Daily Mirror.
NB. The actual broadcast was slightly delayed because of
the assassination of President Kennedy the day before.

To mark the Doctor's anniversary - which really should be a national holiday - here are a small selection of special online episodes from the show:

And this fan documentary looks at the return of Doctor Who after its extended hiatus through the "dark times":