The Draugr Has Arrived!

You didn't think I'd get all excited about the novelisation of the great horror movie, Draug, without wanting to pick up my own copy?

Well, here it is in all its glory. 

I can't wait to see how writer/director Klas Persson has brought his terrifying and atmospheric tale to the written page as Draugr: A Viking Folk-Horror Saga.

As happens, this 350-page paperback has leapt into second place on my "to be read" list, meaning once I've finished the brain-scrambling, cosmic horrors of Jean Ray's Cruise of Shadows then I'll be picking up Draugr and plunging into the dark creepy, Swedish forests of a thousand years ago.

For those wondering about the change in spelling: as far as I can figure it, Draugr is Old Norse whereas Draug is more modern, but both words mean 'stinking, superhumanly strong, vengeful, reanimated corpses'.

Anyway, I've got one final tale to go in the Cruise of Shadows anthology, The Mainz Psalter, the yarn covered on the Strange Studies of Strange Stories podcast several weeks ago that lured me in to the writings of Jean Ray.

As long as my sanity holds up, I hope to finish it this weekend. 

As well as the rulebook for Dragonbane, I also have some comics and magazines that 'need' reading, but I'm so delighted with this current spell of actually reading novels and anthologies that I want to keep it up. It feels like so long since I've had such a burst of reading.

And that makes me feel very positive (for a change).

TBR: My immediate "to be read" selection

Night of the Eagle (1962)

Night of The Eagle will air in the UK on Talking Pictures TV, on July 25 at 9.05pm and July 28 at 9pm

The other year, one of my oldest online friends, John, announced he was having a clear-out and wanted to dispose of some of his old horror-themed Blu-Rays.

Never one to turn down a free movie, I offered to take a few off his hands and soon a package arrived with four discs in.

Among them was one I confess I'd never heard of: Night Of The Eagle (aka Burn Witch Burn).

So, naturally, that was the first to be taken for a spin in the Blu-Ray player.

Charming and charismatic psychology professor Norman Taylor (Peter Wyngarde aka Jason King of Department S) has it all: a great house, a career on the fast-track to success, and a beautiful wife, Tansy (Janet Blair).

Therefore, Norman is shocked to discover that his wife has been secretly practising witchcraft, she says to protect him from dangerous and jealous forces that would otherwise seek to derail his career or even harm him.

Angrily, he makes her destroy all her charms, fetishes, and witchy paraphernalia.

However, no sooner does she do this than their lives take a dramatic turn for the worse.

First, Norman is accused of sexually assaulting Margaret Abbott (Judith Stott), one of his students, at Hempnell Medical College, then some 'force' seemingly attacks his home.

The rational professor tries to deal with all these things logically, but Tansy starts to take increasingly wild, and potentially dangerous, steps to thwart this with - what she believes is - magic.

Night Of The Eagle is a fantastic, little, horror film, in a similar vein to 1957's Night Of The Demon and 1963's The Haunting.

It's oozing with atmosphere, relying on limited special effects and a strong amount of suggestion, so, like Norman, we're never 100 per cent sure if what's happening is co-incidence, feverish hallucinations, hypnosis or genuine black magic.

The ending is a bit sudden, given all the furore that has just unfurled, and certainly comes from the "karma is a bitch" playbook.

But, then, that was the style of films back in the day - they knew not to hang around and outstay their welcome. They had a story to tell, got in, told it, and got out. A trait seemingly lost on some filmmakers and their more recent overlong snorefests.

Based on Fritz Leiber's Conjure Wife (which first appeared in 1943 in Unknown magazine and then as novel in 1953), Night Of The Eagle's original New England setting was changed for 'old' England, instead.

This adaptation (there have been several) was penned by horror legend Richard Matheson with Twilight Zone writer Charles Beaumont, and some tweaking by George Baxt, at the behest of producer Albert Fennell.

A smart, tight, script, buoyed up by cracking performances from all concerned, Night Of The Eagle is definitely one for those who are happy to take their horror served without dollops of gore and jump scares.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: When Hawk Failed To Fly!

Back in October 2015, I was devastated when the Kickstarter campaign to secure the final funding for the proposed Hawk The Slayer sequel, Hawk The Hunter, fell well short of its goal.

Getting the bit between my teeth, I penned an amateur dissection of what I felt went wrong.

Remember this was written over 10 years ago. In the meantime 2000AD (published by Rebellion) has run a number of original Hawk The Slayer comic strips, but - as far as I am aware - Hawk The Hunter as a movie property is dead and buried.

You can read my commentary from back then below:

The Kickstarter to secure the final slice of funding to get the long-awaited Hawk The Slayer sequel off the ground ended this week, having raised a pitiful five per cent of its target.

The Hawk The Hunter campaign started with great gusto, screenings at FrightFest in London and at a convention in the States, a slew of magazine and news website coverage.

Then nothing...

It was as though the campaign organisers were just sitting back, expecting the cash to come flooding in. Or they simply didn't understand how Kickstarter works.

The campaign launched on August 30, and ran until October 1, hoping to raise a cool half-a-million dollars, the final 20 per cent of the finances needed to get the film made.

In that time there were only three updates to the campaign, the last being on September 1, where the writer/director of the original Hawk The Slayer, Terry Marcel, said: "Just wanted to let you know we've raised $4.5M on this project, we need the final $500K to make this happen."

Through the duration of the campaign we heard nothing from the director chosen for the new film, nor from Rebellion (the comic publishers and video game company providing the special effects), no sample footage, no tunes from Rick Wakeman, or anything that might spur people to invest... beyond simple nostalgia for the original cult classic.

In the end the Kickstarter raised just under $27,000.

You just need to look at the Kicktraq data for the campaign (which is more readable actually on the Kicktraq site) to see the enthusiasm was there at the start, but then dropped away dramatically.

Days before the end of the campaign, producer Andrew Grocock posted a message to the Official Hawk The Hunter Facebook page spelling out some of the reasons why the campaign had faltered so spectacularly.

First up, a couple of their pre-release promotional videos on YouTube were removed because of music clearance issues:

"The first two videos were then taken down from YouTube by the representative of the Harry Robertson Estate [citing] Soundtrack Copyright as we’d used a few seconds of original Hawk the Slayer music without permission.

We were also issued with a statement that under no circumstances were we allowed to use the HtS soundtrack music to promote the sequel Hawk the Hunter."

Luckily co-producer Jason Kingsley, head of Rebellion, stepped in and helped create an alternative launch video.

Then, despite some success with getting Terry in front of reporters to talk about the campaign, Andrew said:

"Many newspaper, magazine, RPG and games-based media outlets refused to help promote or mention our campaign as Kickstarters are not wholly recognised as being 'FOR REAL'. Games Workshop Weekly newsletter being one opportunity that was a ‘NO’ and disappointed me the most."

In the end, the Hawk The Hunter campaign received pledges from only 375 backers (which, of course, now won't be collected). If it was just members of the Official Facebook Group who were backing it that's still less than 60 per cent of the group's 639 membership.

If self-professed fans of the franchise weren't even willing to chip in $10, what chance did Terry and Andrew have of raising $500,000 from others  who weren't so invested in the world of Hawk The Slayer?

Let's consider for a moment Iron Sky (the 2012 fan-funded Nazis-on-the-Moon 'comedy'). That was a pretty awful film that makes Hawk The Slayer look Oscar-worthy in comparison, yet its sequel, The Coming Race, raised $614,599 from 8,807 backers on IndieGoGo at the start of the year.

The current Mythica film Kickstarter (the third fantasy flick, from indie film company Arrowstorm, in a five-part saga) has gotten over 1,000 pledges already, while the second part got 1,382 and the first 1,527.

Both the Iron Sky crew and Arrowstorm get crowdfunding, understand the need to keep their backers enthused so they continue to spread the message, regularly update their sites while their campaigns are running, drip feed new titbits about the production or new investment incentives etc

Earlier in the week, when it was clear the Hawk The Hunter fundraiser wouldn't reach its goal, Terry posted an upbeat message on the film's website:

"As you may be aware, the Kickstarter campaign was unsuccessful so we are re-evaluating the project. I hope to have news before the end of the year."

However, this needs to be taken in tandem with Andrew's earlier message, which said:

"You all know the resulting failure of the Kickstarter, the numbers of which cannot justify holding onto our studio, post [production], CGI and equity pledged investment..."

So, it looks as though, if Hawk The Hunter is ever to move ahead, it's not going to be simply a question of making the movie with the $4.5 million they had raised, as they may not even have all of that now.

It's very easy to sit back here, behind my keyboard, and armchair quarterback what went wrong, but given that, in some shape or form, Hawk The Hunter has been 'in the works' for more than 30 years, you have to question some of the decisions made as the film raced towards its final hurdle.

Besides the music clearance issue discussed above, I found a number of the high value rewards on offer for the campaign rather strange, for instance:

• $250 for a 15-second bespoke voice message (even though there was no indication who the actors would be in the film).

or

• $3,000 to be an extra for a day in a tavern scene (I don't know how much extras get paid these days, but to pay three grand to appear in the background of a scene seems a mite excessive. It didn't even state where the filming would be taking place, so you could have coughed up the money then found it was being filmed somewhere you couldn't get to)

And the thing was, about the bulk of these high-end incentives, as written, you didn't even get a digital download, let along a DVD, of the movie when it was completed... or any other of the lower price incentives!

One person chipped in for a Mind Sword prop replica, a couple went for framed art, and three were hoping for a pair of premiere tickets, but most of the high-priced items didn't attract any interest.

I guess, because there was the big launch at FrightFest, Terry and his team felt committed to run the campaign to completion, but given the lack of anything from its organisers after the first few days, sadly, I'm not surprised that few others were interested in pitching in.

I'm still holding out hope that Hawk will live again, but if this campaign couldn't even muster the full support of its own fans, maybe the wider world just isn't that bothered about seeing Hawk do battle with Voltan again.

Perhaps, the Hawk The Slayer video game will still come out from Rebellion, perhaps they'll still publish the comic that was mentioned in passing during the initial promotion, or perhaps we'll have to make do with our shiny new Blu-Rays of Hawk The Slayer...

RISING TIDES LIFT ALL BARBARIANS!

Tides of The Tyrant-King #1 cover art by Roberto De La Torre

This September, the latest annual Conan The Barbarian event mini-series kicks off from Titan Comics and Heroic Signatures. 

Penned, as ever, by the ineffable 'Grim' Jim Zub, with art by Jésus Merino, Tides of The Tyrant-King, teased in this year's Free Comic Book Day offering, has Conan believing that Thulsa Doom's evil has been banished forever, but...

"...the Atlantean necromancer’s dark power stirs once more and, if it cannot be stopped, the dead shall overtake the living!

"The Tyrant-King of Atlantis returns and all shall suffer, unless Conan and his brave allies can turn back the tide! 

"The story follows Conan the Barbarian and Stephen Costigan, both warriors in different times - their battles are mirrored, as both of them are connected by a familiar evil that seeps its way into both stories…"

Variant cover art by Gerardo Zaffino

Variant cover art by Jésus Merino

Variant cover art by Roberto De La Torre

Variant cover art by Stuart Sayger

Variant cover art by Utsab Chatterjee

The first issue of Conan The Barbarian: Tides of The Tyrant-King is due to wash ashore in comic book stores on September 23, but on September 16 the glorious black-and-white magazine The Savage Sword of Conan #16 will include three tales connected to the wider Howardverse arc, all written by Jim Zub.

These yarns include:

"...a mesmeric Conan tale of corrupted memories and creeping madness with artist Nicola Scott, a return to the weird western world of Howardian gunslinger Steve Corcoran in a sequel to the classic Robert E. Howard tale Vultures of Whapeton with artist Chris Campana, and a descent into the shadowed past of mini-series femme fatale Zuleika with artist Sean Izaakse."

The Savage Sword of Conan #16, cover art by Joe Jusko

The Savage Sword of Conan #16, cover art by Nick Percival

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Patience Is A Virtue

My Brilliant eBay Purchases!

It will come as no shock to many - especially my dear wife - when I say I am not a patient person.

I'm generally not good at waiting and want everything NOW!

But there are times - rare times, I'll admit - when I can be quite zen and chilled.

One such occasion, that paid off splendidly a couple of years ago, was my eBay search for issues of the top gaming magazine Different Worlds.

Waaaaaaaay back in the day, I had a near complete run of the whole magazine (thanks, in part, to my trip to Canada with Nick in the late '80s, where I came home with a suitcase stuffed full of back issues I'd found in a gaming store for around a $1 a pop).

Then, during my many moves and downsizing of collections, I foolishly sold off a large selection, keeping only, maybe, a dozen of my favourite issues.

Of course, I regretted it almost immediately, and over the last couple of decades I have been slowly piecing the collection back together, one issue at a time, courtesy of eBay.

Only these days there are fewer and fewer issues cropping up on the secondary market and this paucity is generally driving prices  up. 

I've pretty much got all the issues I wanted back now, but one has eluded me for decades... and it's the "special superhero issue", featuring a slick Bill Willingham illustration of The X-Men on the cover.

The issue has articles for Villains & Vigilantes, Superhero 2044 (no, really), Supergame, Champions, and Superworld; several - sadly not the V&V segment - featuring adaptations of well-known comic book characters (from Batman and Wonder Woman to The X-Men).

There was a single copy that cycled through the eBay system multiple times in that year or so, without selling, because the trader was asking over £50 (on a 'buy it now') for it.

And there was no way I would ever spend that much on a single issue of a magazine... unless I suddenly won the lottery.

Well, I didn't win the lottery (don't get excited), but the next best thing happened in late 2023: another copy of Different Worlds #23 (The Superhero Special) came up for sale on the site.

As an auction, with a starting price of £1.

I immediately made my bid, well above the starting price, but nowhere near the sum being asked by the other trader... and kept my fingers crossed.

And waited... and waited for the inevitable last minute sniper...

And no one else bid on it!

I got it for a quid!

From the same seller I also bid on an old copy of Autoduel Champions. Not a game I ever pictured us playing, but I wanted it for the pure nostalgia factor.

Back in the '80s (again), Steve - a big fan of Champions, even though V&V was our main superhero system - had the game and we played out several memorably violent scenarios before moving onto the next shiny thing.

The auction copy came with a pouch of counters stapled inside its front cover, which was a nice touch.  

Unlike the Different Worlds auction, I wasn't expecting anyone else to bid on this, as it's a fairly obscure game, but someone did - driving the price up to £2.20!

Both auctions finished at the same time, and the seller gave me a great deal on combined shipping, so my patience had been rewarded.

I have kept my eBay search for copies of Different Worlds active, but I can't think of any missing issues now that I have such a craving for as I did "the superhero special".

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Different Worlds

Forget your White Dwarf and your Dragon, for me the only role-playing magazine during the 1980s was Different Worlds (originally published by Chaosium, the Call of Cthulhu people).

Different Worlds was the first gaming magazine that really understood the fun of the hobby, emphasising wild ideas and story over the technical details.

Sure, it ran its fair share of house rules, character class suggestions, magical variants etc, although nothing that compared to, say, White Dwarf's Monster Mark grading system - the dread precursor of the whole "balanced encounter" nonsense that dominates modern, corporate-led gaming products.

Does anyone else remember the Monster Mark system? It was some scientific formula to grade and compare monsters, based on their statistics, that would have make Stephen Hawkin's head spin!

Of course, White Dwarf has survived as the monthly catalogue of Games Workshop - ditching its roleplaying content - and The Dragon survived for a while as the organ of Wizards of The Coast's Third Edition/d20 empire, packed to the gills with power combos and winning strategies like a video game magazine; so I guess there's an object lesson there...

Did it see 4th and 5th edition? Honestly, I can't remember.

However, Different Worlds wasn't about the crunch, it was about the story - and if needs be the rules needed to add a little narrative sparkle to your game: for instance one issue I picked up from eBay had an article on using HP Lovecraft himself as a character in your Call of Cthulhu game!

Early issues ran a semi-regular feature called My Life And Role-Playing where industry folk (gentleman hobbyists all, not number crunchers) would recount how they had gotten into the business, often with interesting insights and stories from their own games and campaigns.

As well as Runequest and Cthulhu - Chaosium's own systems - the magazine ran articles on games which are now quite obscure, but still fondly remembered by us "old timers", such as Arduin, Tunnels & Trolls, Villains & Vigilantes and Bunnies & Burrows.

Looking back at my modest collection, there is an innocence and enthusiasm about Different Worlds that made it stand out from the crowd.

The only magazine I can recall that came close to capturing the same spirit was Arcane, the short-lived British publication which vanished from the shelves an issue after I finally decided to subscribe to it!

Figuring Out My Mummy Issues

It's a definite truism - and a meme - that as you grow older people are less inclined to ask you your favourite dinosaur (it's a diplodocus, by the way) but I've realised the same is true for your favourite monster. Specifically the original Universal Monsters.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Not sure exactly why. 

I'm pretty certain my friend, the author Charles R Rutledge would say Dracula, but I really had to put my thinking head on before it struck me which monster I'm most fascinated by.

The Mummy.

Although my favourite old Universal monster movie is, of course, the marvellous Bride of Frankenstein, the actual Bride is only really on-screen for around five minutes.

However, The Mummy is ubiquitous in films, comics, games etc. 

I even did a whole series of Show Me The Mummy movie reviews... and am planning a second such collection of write-ups in due course.

The Mummy was also a key antagonist in both issues of my DIY comic, Monster Mag, that I created as a youngling. For instance, in the first issue it easily defeated the Hulk! You can find issue one here and issue two here. 

From the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
Monster Manual, pg 72

And I've always been a fan of mummies as monsters in the old school Dungeons & Dragons games of my youth (really must bring them back at some point!).

There were some grand pyramid-themed dungeons in old issues of the Judges Guild magazines around at the time.

But all this has culminated in Rachel buying me a most incredible present the other day: the Ultimate Mummy action figure of Boris Karloff's portrayal in the the original 1932 film.

After thanking her profusely, I excitedly told her I now had an excuse to pick up the Ardath Bey figure and the sarcophagus accessory pack!

There is a rule (well, more of a guideline) in this house that my action figures are "tolerated" as long as they are not kept in their boxes, but put out on display.

However, at the moment, I'm so in awe of my Mummy figure that I can't bring myself to open it quite yet.

I also think I might have a new idea for a theme for my protracted castle tower project as well (inspired by the Egyptian Collection at Lord Carnarvon's Highclere Castle [aka Downtown Abbey])! 

The Cimmerian Is Ablaze Once More

Cover art by Chris Regnault

Continuing yesterday's celebration of upcoming comic book releases related - or inspired by - the works of Robert E Howard, July also sees the start of a new miniseries for The Cimmerian.

Once again, after a break of about four years, Ablaze is publishing the English-language translation of Glénat's original French "uncensored" adaption of Howard's Conan adventure Xuthal Of Dusk (aka The Slithering Shadow).

Conan, accompanied by Natala - a slave of wild beauty - advances through the seeming infinity of a sandy desert. With water and food supplies now exhausted, and with the two stranded in turn under a blazing sun and frigid nights, it is clear that the inevitability is death. Right as Natala’s final ounce of strength leaves her, Conan spots something in the distance. It’s a city that shines like glass. It’s Xuthal…

Written by Christophe Bec, with art by Stevan Subić, this will be a three-issue miniseries and marks the regular return of The Cimmerian series, following on from the publisher's Free Comic Book Day release at the start of next month.

Variant cover by Stevan Subic

As I understand it (I am not a copyright lawyer, nor do I play one on TV), Ablaze can publish The Cimmerian because it limits itself to republishing existing European adaptations of Howard’s original Conan stories that are in the public domain in Europe.

Heroic Signatures controls the global Howardverse I.P and works with Titan Comics to publish its new, original, line of wildly successful comics and magazines inspired by Howard's work.

It struck a deal, six or so years ago, with Ablaze to translate and distribute the French Glénat bande dessinée adaptations as The Cimmerian (to differentiate these comics from Titan's new Conan books).

Forthcoming Howardian Comics That Piqued My Interest

Legendary scribe Gail Simone is bringing us The Ring: The Man Who Beat The Man in June, courtesy of Dark Horse.

The eight-issue series, produced in co-operation with venerable boxing magazine, The Ring, follows:

"...veteran Ring Magazine journalist Cameron Duggan and rising broadcast personality Lisa Wolfe, a former podcaster who has transitioned into television commentary. As the pair travel the boxing world covering a new wave of contenders chasing championship glory, they encounter the ambition, rivalries and politics that shape the sport at its highest level.

"Each fighter approaches the pursuit differently, but the goal remains the same, reach the top of the sport and prove himself as the man who beat the man. As Duggan and Wolfe document the journey of these fighters, they also find themselves navigating the pressures and personalities that surround the sport."

While not directly a Robert E Howard story, Two-Gun Bob was a massive fan of boxing and wrote plenty of pulp tales set in that world - including those of my favourite character, Sailor Steve Costigan.

However, the next comic that caught my eye - and will be added to my pull-list PDQ - is pure Howard.

The incredible writer/artist Patrick Zircher brings his take on Howard's Puritan monster-hunter Solomon Kane back for another miniseries from Titan Comics in July.

Solomon Kane: The Lion Errant sees our hero travelling to India, guided by a "mysterious black-maned lion" where he is drawn into a "confrontation between the warrior queen Rani Durgavati and the mighty Mughal Empire".

"But the coming battle is more than a clash of armies. Ancient powers are stirring, gods and demons walk among the living, and Kane’s arcane Atlantean staff may hold the key to it all. Steel meets the divine. The Sword of Vengeance answers a higher call."

Joe Jusko cover art

The final forthcoming comic with serious Robert E Howard vibes is Dan Panosian's Fire And Ice: Darkwolf, from Dynamite, which also kicks off in July.

This is a spin-off from the gorgeous - but erratically published - Fire and Ice sword and sorcery comic book series.

"Born from the immortal imagination of fantasy illustrator supreme Frank Frazetta, Darkwolf storms into a new era of savage fantasy-brought to life by writer Dan "Urban Barbarian" Panosian and powerhouse artist Andrey Lunatik.

"Dynamite's acclaimed exploration of the world of Fire and Ice continues in this new series!

"It all begins when a mother and her twins flee the warlock who sired them - until a masked warrior descends from the mountains and unleashes hell upon their pursuers. But saving them is only the beginning. 

"Violent. Mythic. Unrelenting. This is Darkwolf, and the legend begins here - a fierce, visceral rebirth of one of fantasy's most iconic warriors

Dan Panosian cover art

Marketa Lazarová (1967)

It should be obvious now, if you've read a number of my film reviews, that I have a soft spot for those of a Medieval bent, but have no problem with foreign movies, subtitles, epic durations, black and white, symbolism, non-linear storytelling etc

However, the much-lauded Czech film Marketa Lazarová sorely tested my patience with its plodding, yet rambling, narrative that unfolded at a glacial pace and suffered with a surfeit of "telling rather than showing".

At its core is a basic Hatfield & McCoy feud between two neighbouring clans in 13th Century Czechoslovakia - one headed by the bandit Kozlik The Goat (Josef Kemr), the other by struggling businessman Lazar (Michal Kozuch).

It's a harsh winter, but matters only get worse when Kozlik's family kidnap a nobleman from Saxony, which provokes the King to send his representative to crush the villains and rescue the young man.

Kozlik tries to entice Lazar into siding with him against the King, but when that stratagem fails, Kozlik's son Mikolás (Frantisek Velecký) kidnaps Lazar's virginal daughter Marketa Lazarova (Magda Vásáryová), who had been preparing herself to become a nun.

Bizarrely - in an almost Twilight-like twist of logic - Marketa eventually falls in love with Mikolás and the last third of the movie plays out against the backdrop of their doomed romance.

On paper, the plot sounds quite inspiring and straight-forward, and about 90 minutes in there's a really impressive battle scene when the King's forces, led by Captain Beer (Zdenek Kryzánek), attack the Kozlik hill-top fortress.

But away from this, everything moves so slowly and, even with the frequent "chapter introductions" that are thrown up on screen (as you would find in Victorian novels) to help explain what was going on, it feels as though the story is jumping around - but without any rhyme or reason.

There are also moments of casual European full-frontal nudity and one extended, surreal dream sequence but these just come across as arbitrary and without any real purpose to the narrative.

And it's a 159 minutes long. And you feel every, single minute.

Some of the praise heaped on this film is for its lack of special effects in its fight sequences, but conversely it's worth pointing out that Mikolás has a one-armed brother, Adam (Ivan Palúch), and on a number of occasions you can tell his "lost" arm is simply tucked inside his baggy shirt!

Marketa Lazarová is also quite dark, in appearance as well as tone, often making it difficult to follow what is going on. This also isn't helped by the subtitles - which suffer not only by often being unclear who they are associated with but also I suspect some weak translating along the way.

The occasionally nonsensical subtitles made me strongly suspect that the film makes a lot more sense in its native tongue, if you can remove the barrier of having to rely on someone else's condensed translation of possibly complex or multi-layered ideas.

A number of pretentious and dull film periodicals, which take movies way too seriously, are quoted on the DVD box cover as proclaiming Marketa Lazarová "the best historical film ever made" and "the most convincing film about the Middle Ages made anywhere".

Don't believe them. It may have been when it was made in 1967, but there have since been far better, far more accessible and far less tedious films made about the Middle Ages.

I had been really looking forward to this as I had read such great things about it online, but in the end Marketa Lazarová was a major disappointment and very mundane after the ridiculously inflated praise it has somehow garnered.

New Superhero Zine Launches for Dungeon Crawl Classics

My good pal Justin ' Pun' Isaac has just launched the first issue (The Origin Issue) of his new superhero-themed Dungeon Crawl Classics series, Crisis In Infinite Zines.

Pun describes it as:

"...a new supers toolkit designed for Dungeon Crawl Classics/Mutant Crawl Classics and their superpowered offshoots like Evolved: Super Heroic Time Travel Roleplaying Game and Comic Crawl Classics. You'll find new classes, foes to fight, adventures, and other rules/tropes conversations."

Written with Dave Coppoletti, and illustrated by Dave, David Vance and Joseph Beckelhimer, the 30-page, comic book-sized zine is available in both PDF or POD formats from DriveThru.

The debut issue includes two new classes (The Super Pal and The Butler), two freakish monsters, one fearsome nemesis (The Refrigerator), one giant-sized ape, 30 secret origins, 0-level accessories, comics, letters to the editor, adverts and more.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Happy Birthday to 2000AD

The latest issue of the ever-brilliant Judge Dredd Megazine

This week issue 2470 of the weekly 2000AD sci-fi comic anthology comic, along with issue 489 of the Judge Dredd Megazine - the monthly Dredd-centric spin-off - popped through my letterbox just in time for 2000AD's 49th birthday celebrations today (February 19).

I can't recall if I purchased the first issue of the Megazine when it was launched in 1990 (I suspect not), but I certainly remember picking up the very first issue (prog) of 2000AD, back in 1977, when I was 10.

One of my few remaining vivid memories from that age is of sitting in the back of my parents' car, eagerly reading this comic that was unlike anything I had seen before.

I suspect mum and dad were taking me somewhere "fun", but I was more interested in my copy of 2000AD.

Via

Early issues often came packaged with gifts, such as "biotronic" stickers with the second issue, so you could emulate John Probe (the star of the comic's Six Million Dollar Man clone M.A.C.H. 1) with the illusion of robotic parts peeking through your skin!

It's weird now to think that the big selling point of 2000AD initially was its Dan Dare strip (which, despite some striking visuals, ran for less than two years), and Judge Dredd - now a pop culture icon - didn't even appear until prog two.

2000AD was gritty and darker than my usual fare at the time, and thus felt more 'grown up'.

There are stories from those early days that have firmly cemented themselves into my psyche: such as Flesh (about time-travelling cowboys harvesting dinosaur meat), Shako (soldiers versus a man-eating polar bear in the Artic), and some of the more twisted of Tharg's Future Shocks (self-contained Twilight Zone-like stories with an inevitably bonkers surprise ending).

I read the title weekly for a long time, but, as is my wont, eventually found something else to hold my attention (probably American comics, roleplaying games... and girls).

Judge Dredd's debut in prog #2

I can't pinpoint exactly when I stopped reading 2000AD regularly.

However, I do remember devouring several of the early, important, Judge Dredd story arcs, such as The Judge Child, Judge Death Lives, and the Apocalypse War, which would have taken me to at least prog 270.

Sláine, Pat Mills' mythical Celtic berserker, first appeared in prog 330, and I know I followed his early adventures in the magazine, as I immediately grokked the fact that the ideas presented there could be ported over into a redefining of the "berserker/barbarian" character class in Dungeons & Dragons.

So that's six or seven years of loyal reading.

There was one aspect of the magazine that I never really bought into: the fact that it was supposedly edited by an alien called Tharg (a pseudonym adopted by all the actual editors), who arrived on Earth with his arsenal of "cool" alien slang.

He was an extraterrestrial Stan Lee, but gregarious Stan was always 'The Man', whereas, for me, Tharg was a pale imitation.

I've mellowed rather now and the cringe I felt as a teenager about this whole idea now simply makes me smirk a bit.

In subsequent decades, it was primarily Sláine and Judge Dredd that brought me back into the 2000AD fold, picking up either single issues from newsagents or graphic novel collections of stories from bookshops (or later, Amazon).

Although, for many years, there wasn't the same frisson of excitement picking up and reading the odd prog here and there compared to when I was 10.

It felt as though so much geeky media - and society in general - had shifted in that similar ("don't talk down to young readers") direction, even though 2000AD was the trailblazer.

However, in the last year I have resumed my subscription to 2000AD, paired with my longer-running one to the Megazine, as I'm now finding the various stories - on the whole - in the anthology title are gelling more with my tastes.

I also love the fact that 2000AD's still going strong, and that new readers are discovering the joys of its gritty, British adventures every week.

Can't wait to see what the publishers, Rebellion, have lined up for 2000AD's 50th anniversary next year.

This week's 2000AD "prog"

2000AD, prog one, cover date: February 26,1977

CHAPBOOK REVIEW: Meet The Shrivelwoods (Kek-W)

 

Meet The Shrivelwoods is a 40-page Gothic horror-comedy written by fan-favourite 2000AD scribe, musician and artist Kek-W, available through his Bandcamp merchandise page.

The publication contains two text stories about the creepy Shrivelwood family, wealthy and decadent maple syrup magnates who bear a superficial similarity to The Addams Family but with the darkness dial turned up to thirteen.

Chapbooks are somewhere between a novel and a fanzine, an easily digestible booklet with an affordably low page count; a format with a rich and fascinating history.

The Old Dank Manse, the first story in Meet The Shrivelwoods, tells of a contemporary, failed romance writer seeking solace in the bosom of her rich Vermont extended family, at their "crumbling Gothic mansion", but finding something much stranger than she expects.

The second, Christmas With The Shrivelwoods, takes the form of a late 19th Century letter from Minnie Shrivelwood to her uncle, Heinie, who is currently restrained in the Hartford Retreat For The Insane. It's a bonkers - matter-of-fact - recounting of the family's preparations for the Christmas holidays.

Both tales blend surreality and slapstick with leftfield black humour, shock revelations and general absurdity, as should be expected by those who have read Kek-W's Dark Judges: Fall of Deadworld work in the universe of Judge Dredd.

I was also reminded of the Wojciech Has's very weird The Hourglass Sanitorium for the short stories' occasionally unsettling, nightmarish narrative logic and potentially disturbing imagery.

Rambling - by design - the chapbook's two stories are delightful, amusing, and quick reads that most definitely leave you wanting to hear more about the different generations of this peculiar, and freakish, inbred family of maple syrup-obsessives. 

The Adventures of Breckinridge Elkins by Robert E. Howard

Me and Breckinridge Elkins

This week on his Robert E Howard Show segment, my favourite booktuber, Michael K Vaughan, discusses the latest release from the Robert E. Howard Foundation Press, The Adventures of Breckinridge Elkins.

I just happen to have purchased this hardback tome recently (now that I'm trying to go 'all-in' on this line of definitive publications of Howard's work), although I have to confess the only Elkins' "tall tale" I've read is the one that was published in Savage Sword of Conan magazine last year.

Breckinridge isn't a Howard character I'm particularly au fait with. But Michael does a great job in this video of convincing me that I'll probably enjoy the book, as it seems to bear comedic similarities with my beloved Sailor Steve Costigan yarns, as well as being part of Howard's Western work.

I Blame Nominative Determinism

Showing off my new purchase... which means a new wargames project

Remember the other day when I said I would only be focusing on a single wargame project going forward?

Well, that pledge lasted about a week.

I shall be supplementing my investment in Dead Man's Hand with Hairfoot Jousting, a comical, fantasy jousting game that pitches halflings/hobbits/hairfoots against each other, while mounted upon pigs, sheep, giant turkeys, dogs, ferrets etc 

The rules seem simple and brief, so much so that the delightful book, published by Osprey, is actually split in two. The back half, which you flip the book to read, contains a variant of the game, Wartnose Jousting, allowing you to play despicable goblin jousters riding rats, roaches, frogs etc

Honestly, I couldn't help myself.

I've always been fascinated by knights (the clue's in the name) and, by extension, jousting.

The wallpaper of my childhood bedroom was resplendent with pictures of knights on horseback, and one of my early introductions to the concept of wargames was Andrew McNeil's 1975 tome, Knights At War (part of the Battlegame Book series).

One of the treasured books I have held onto since my childhood

As well as text pieces on the history of knights, arms and armour, heraldry etc, the oversized hardback contained four games. Each game's board was a double spread of pages, and the rules and counters you cut out from the card insert pages. It was a brilliantly simple idea that I can't believe hasn't been revived.

My favourite, and most played, game in the book was, unsurprisingly, Tournament, where you took control of teams of jousting combatants.

The other games were Arsouf, refighting the 12th Century clash between Saladin and Richard the Lionheart; Siege, which did exactly what it says on the tin; and Border Raiders, a snatch-and-grab scenario involving feuding 13th Century German lords.

To be honest, they were all great games, but it was Tournament I returned to most often.

In recent years, these passions have seen me visiting living history and re-enactment shows to get a more visceral taste of Medieval life.

For a while, there was even coverage of genuine, full contact jousting (rather than the scripted, wrestling-style jousting you see in the grounds of various castles and stately homes around the UK in the summer) on television.

I became quite a fan of world champion Charlie Andrews and his Knights of Mayhem. Sadly, those television shows - like the equally-enthralling Knight Fight about the Armoured Combat League - failed to attract the attention of audiences who'd rather watch yet more "documentaries" about Ancient Aliens and the Second World War.

Of course, now we have the magnificent A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms, the latest Game of Thrones spin-off, whose story unfolds amidst the grime and graphic violence of a jousting tournament. 

Anyway, I already ordered myself a set of miniatures for my new jousting wargame - a team of hairfoot jousters on their assorted mounts - from North Star, the game's manufacturer, using my monthly discount code from my Wargames Illustrated subscription. The figures arrived today.

Expect more updates on this new project in the future.

Hairfoot jousters from North Star Military Figures

Conan The Librarian

New shorty short box (on right) for my Conan The Barbarian comics

Part of my ambition to get through my massive backlog of unread comics also involves tidying up and organising those that I have read.

I've long wanted to get my Conan The Barbarian comics in one place and so have started with that phase of the operation.

I picked up a new short box (unexpectedly shorter than the short boxes I already owned), labelled it with a sticker I got from Etsy for just this purpose, and began going through the individual issues I had that would now take up residence in the new box.

Barbarian sticker from Etsy

So far, my efforts have focussed on the current Titan/Heroic Signatures-published Conan The Barbarian titles, the event mini-series they've produced, and their Solomon Kane comic books (to keep the Robert E Howard theme going).

I've also filed away some miscellaneous titles like an old Kull comic and a guide to The Hyborian Age that Marvel produced back in the day as part of its Official Handbooks line.

But these were the easy ones to find and sort, as I had most to hand. Now I need to decide if I also include Marvel's most recent run of Conan The Barbarian (which are scattered through piles under the bed and in the office) or even the few stray issues from their original, legendary run.

I don't own many of those issues from the '70s or '80s as I have a decent library of the omnibuses of both Conan The Barbarian and The Savage Sword of Conan.

This, in turn, reminds me to think about the new iteration of Savage Sword. As a magazine-sized publication it doesn't fit in standard comic book storage containers. However, it does slide nicely onto my shelves, so I'm pretty certain I won't much problem keeping them in order: most already have a home on the shelf next to the omnibus collection.

Ultraviolence For The Masses: Action Is Uncancelled!

Those of us of a certain age will have fond memories of United Kingdom's short-lived Action comic - the foundation upon which 2000AD was built - while the rest of you may only be encountering this controversial title for the first time.

During the mid-70s, this the shocking and ultra-violent comic attracted the ire of cartoonish, self-proclaimed moral guardian, Mary Whitehouse and helped fuel a tabloid-created "panic" that led to the withdrawal of Action from the shelves.

A neutered edition of the comic followed, but this was of little interest to its readership and Action was axed in 1977, with its earlier vim and vigour laying the groundwork for the arrival of 2000AD..

On April 15, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the publication of the first issue of Action, publishers Rebellion will be unleashing an all-new, oversized special edition.

This features:

Dredger by Garth Ennis and John Higgins. Britain’s deadliest secret agent returns, hitting the vengeance trail after the death of his partner, Breed. Dredger kills and maims his way across London, intent on delivering his own brand of justice. How much of London will be left when he’s finished?

Hook Jaw by Steve White and Staz Johnson. There’s a killer out at sea! The vicious Hook Jaw has been seen in the depths of the ocean again, the killer shark with no regard for human life – and he’s heading out on the hunt! As a crew of drug dealers attempt to complete a sale in lawless international waters, they attract the attention of the legendary shark… this isn’t going to be pretty!

Hellman of Hammer Force by Garth Ennis and Mike Dorey. Blazing battle action on the Eastern Front in 1944, as Panzer commander Kurt Hellman leads a small German armoured unit against massed Soviet forces. As the tank men struggle to survive in this frozen hell, they face a new and terrible savagery from their vengeance-crazed Russian enemies.

Look Out For Lefty by Rob Williams and Patrick Goddard. Footballer Kenny “Lefty” Lampton has the most dangerous left foot in the game, blazing the ball through the net. But Lefty doesn’t play fair, and his temper constantly flares up on the pitch, boiling over into fury and violence! After his anger leaves him stranded on the subs bench, he finally gets his chance – this could be his big comeback, a chance to regain his lost glory! As The Royal Family watch on from the stand, can Lefty keep it under control for ninety minutes?

I always enjoyed the 'future sports' stories, such as Death Game 1999, but my favourite strip was the bloody, Jaws-inspired, sharksploitation of Hook Jaw. So, I'm delighted to see that's returning in this special issue.

Elric In Hell!

My beloved original Arduin Grimoire trilogy

I mentioned the foundational roleplaying text (for me) the Arduin Grimoire the other day, but I'm pretty certain it's not as famous (infamous?) these days as it was when I was growing up as a young gamer.

When I first encountered Dungeons & Dragons, back in the late 70s, I had little to no idea about the concept of worldbuilding.

It wasn't until I acquired the three little tan books that make up David Hargrave's original Arduin Grimoire trilogy (there are now nine volumes in total, but none as inspirational as the first three) that it even dawned on me that 'other people' were making up their own worlds to campaign in.

The first thing that struck me, and that I still love today, was the sense that the history of Arduin had been a co-operative development between the gamesmaster and his players.

This was crystallised in the dedication pages of the first two volumes where Dave lists the names of the some of the player characters and their fates.

In the first volume, Dave's own character is listed simply as "Elric The Hell-Lost", but this is expanded upon in volume two, Welcome To Skull Tower:

"The Baron In Exile, Lord of the House Of The Tower of the Dragon, wishes to thank formally the brave and steadfast people who gave their years and their lives to return him and his from the very clutches of the Lord Of The Undead.

"These true friends crossed three hells and seven and a half long, long years to fight their way to our succour. Our House is ever in the debt of the House Of The Rising Sun, the House of Ibathene, the House of Greylorn the Patriach, and to all those heroes who joined in that undertaking.

"You who slew the Great Lord of the Undead himself know who you are, and you know that our House will give its all in your need, if ever that time should come. We who were hell lost and soul caged SALUTE YOU, our comrades and friends.

"David A Hargrave

"a.k.a. Elric,

"Baron and Lord of

"The House of the Dragon Tower".

However, the most detailed explanation of these events came in issue two of the superb Different Worlds magazine,  in which Dave Hargarve recounted a potted history of his campaign:

"Elric, Duke and Lord of the Dragon Tower, spent seven years in hell, a captive of Cimmeries, Lord of the Undead. The efforts to free him cost the souls of over 40 other characters and was directly linked to the causes of the Great Insurrection. But freed he was, to take up a blood feud with those he felt had left him there!"

It's no wonder that that imagery has stuck in my head for the better part of 30 years, and has constantly played a leading role in my "wish list" of unfulfilled role-playing moments.

Although the hefty Legendary Lands Of Arduin makes reference to Cimmeries as Lord of the Undead and Elric's House of the Dragon Tower, there is no mention in that 800-page tome of his time in the underworld that I can see (but I haven't read the book cover-to-cover!)

I'd love to find out more details of this "campaign-within-a-campaign", if there is anyone out there in the Interwebs with more detailed knowledge please get in touch.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: The Dark Tower

Image by Darren Vannoy from Pixabay

My first gaming store was Tunbridge Wells' only dedicated roleplaying shop and club, The Dark Tower, in Victoria Road.

Through rose-tinted glasses, the vague wisps of memory I have about the place make it appear as iconic as Weird Pete Ashton's Games Pit in Knights Of The Dinner Table.

Sadly the shop was demolished long ago and has now been redeveloped for housing.

I seem to recall The Dark Tower was next to - or near - a small scrapyard, as one Sunday as we queued up patiently outside, waiting for the shop to open its doors for a regular club meeting, this line of innocent proto-geeks was harangued by the clearly drunk scrapmerchant on his front step complaining that we were disturbing his rest.

Decades later Clare and I shared a house just a stone's throw away from the site of the old Dark Tower - how brilliant would it have been if the shop (and club) was still there?

I do think it's a bit of a shame that, as far as I am aware (and I have looked) there's no mention of Tunbridge Wells' old game shop anywhere on the Interwebz.

It was such a formative part of my tween and early teenage years.

As well as the site of my earliest recorded character death - poor old Gordok (well out of his depth in Tegel Manor) - it was also where I purchased my first gaming product and, subsequently, began to pick up regular gaming magazines: which, for me, in those days meant White Dwarf.

I remember 11-year-old me striding into The Dark Tower clutching my pocket money and asking for the cheapest edition of Dungeons & Dragons they had. I came out a little while later with the Holmes blue book (pictured above).

This was edition I used when I tried to explain roleplaying games to my poor dad. He rolled up a dwarf who walked down a corridor under the Tower of Zenopus (the example adventure in the book), got attacked by a spider, died and never played Dungeons & Dragons again.

The shop wasn't the only place to host our nascent "gaming club"; after a while a nearby church hall was hired for regular gatherings (possibly St Barnabus' Church Hall in Quarry Road, but, as you may have gathered, my memory is rather Swiss cheesed these days).

This venue is where Staghind had her first adventure (ie. The Crypte of The Courageous).

I also have a strong memory of sitting in the waiting room of a podiatrist in Lime Hill Road, Tunbridge Wells, reading White Dwarf issue 11.

I suspect mum had let me buy it, from The Dark Tower, to take my mind off the fact that was I was about to have a verruca carved out of my left heel.

Later, I recall cutting out the pieces of the "D&D Bar-Room Brawl" game, 'laminating' them with Sellotape, and playing it repeatedly (on my own, of course).