Showing posts with label France. Show all posts
Showing posts with label France. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 25, 2026

She Is Conann (2023)


Presented as a series of vignettes, 2023's She is Conann, written and directed by Bertrand Mandico, is supposedly a feminist take on Conan The Barbarian

I would beg to differ. The various segments of this French art house offering present Conann (Con-ann, gettit?) at different stages of her life (which, as far as I could tell, was the main similarity to Robert E Howard's stories of Conan The Barbarian), starting as a peasant girl captured by barbarians led by the red-haired Sanja (also called Sonja), played by Julia Riedler.

Both Sanja and Conann turn out to be immortal - for no readily explained reason - but whereas Sanja is played by the same actress throughout her various appearances, Conann is portrayed by a succession of different actresses: Claire Duburcq at age 15, Christa Théret at age 25, Sandra Parfait at age 35, Agata Buzek at age 45, and Nathalie Richard at age 55.

Nearly always in her orbit is the dog-man Rainer (Elina Löwensohn), a cameraman documenting her life and narrating the movie. All very gender-fluid and meta, but ultimately sound and fury signifying nothing. 

Rainer (Elina Löwensohn)
Why is Rainer a dog-person? Who knows! However, I must admit that the make-up on Löwensohn (and the other dog-people who pop up) is very impressive. My mind couldn't help wandering to the dog-people of Jeff Noon's excellent Vurt books, and wondering why these had never been adapted to the big screen.

Perhaps She is Conann is meant to be a commentary on the broader machismo and sleaze of many of barbarian movies of the 1980s? However, to my mind, any film that requires a crib sheet to fully grok is a huge red flag.

She is Conann begins in a sci-fi/fantasy world (supposedly Sumeria, but you'd never know), with strong '80s-throwback, retro vibes (accentuated by the fact that the entire film is shot on a series of soundstages with old school, direct-to-video, levels of set decoration).

The story soon jumps to a more contemporary period and all semblance of a sword-and-sorcery setting is forgotten (bar the odd reference to "barbarism").

Every segment ends - segueing into the next - with the Conann of that period being slain by her next 'incarnation', until the final story when she has become a multimillionaire patron of arts and gives herself up to the artists she supports as an edible work of art.

The creators can only inherit Conann's limitless wealth if they totally consume her specially-prepared body.

The deliciously disturbing body horror sequence that follows is really the highlight of She is Conann

This being the most overt, and clear, segment of the movie, I'm pretty sure there was a clever metaphor about 'eating the rich' in there should you be inspired to look for it.

Shot primarily in black and white, but switching to colour every now and again, She is Conann is also largely in French (with subtitles) except for a segment set in '80s New York when the characters speak - and swear - in English.

Ultimately, the 105-minute movie is a stylish, but empty, mélange of assorted styles and ideas from far superior sources, the unique cinematic voices of Peter Greenaway and Derek Jarman mixed with literary tropes from Michael Moorcock and William S Burroughs.

Oddly though, as infuriatingly incomprehensible as much of it is, the story flows and moves quickly, probably helped along by the comparatively short length of time spent on each period of Conann's life.

But that also means each iteration never hangs around long enough for us to truly understand her character at the moment in her life or her motivations.

Presumably every directorial and narrative choice in the film has been made for a reason, it's just unclear what those reasons were.

On paper Bertrand Mandico's recipe for reimagining Conan The Barbarian should have created a perfect meal for this viewer, who usually has a lot of time for clever art films, but instead She is Conann is disappointingly too pretentious for its own good.

Thursday, December 4, 2025

THROWBACK THURSDAY: The Boy Reporter


The world-famous "Boy Reporter" Tintin has always been part of my life. I can remember getting Hergé's beautiful comic strip albums from the library as a wee nipper and seeing them displayed in revolving stands in old-timey book stores.

I've long considered Tintin as one the major fictional inspirations (along with Clark Kent) that steered me towards a career in journalism at the tender age of 18.

When Rachel's firm went on a day trip to Bruges (in Belgium) back in 2009 my only request was a Tintin-related gift, and she picked me up an artistic mouse mat (from when they were a thing) decorated with an Hergé sketch.

This nicely complemented my small, but precious, collection of Tintinalia that I've accumulated over the years.

Until recently, I only actually owned a small number of the Tintin albums, including my original 1972 copy of The Crab With The Golden Claws (pictured at the top and bottom of this article), which has been in my possession since I was about six or seven.

To date, this is my favourite story of Tintin and Snowy, also introducing us to Captain Haddock, but I have to confess I know for certain that I've only read a handful of the books... and most of those when I was very young.

Back when I was working as an editor of trade magazines - in the years before going university - one of the 'perks' of being paid to jet around Europe was the ability to hunt for Tintin merch (it was more interesting than the trade shows about plastic extruding machinery that I was actually there to cover). 

Two of my Tintin reference books... one of which I can actually read!
I can't remember exactly where I picked up my French-language guide to Hergé's universe, Tintinolatrie by Albert Algoud, but it was probably the same trip where I found a Tintin shop around the corner from my hotel and snagged a pair of Tintin: Boy Reporter socks (sadly long gone).

Around this time (it must have been the late 1980s to mid-1990s) I also used to drive down to Brighton a lot, to visit friends and go shopping, and there was a lovely little store in The Lanes that sold high-end Tintin ware.

So, over a series of visits, I purchased a small selection of Tintin crockery that, to this day, has pride of place in the French dresser in our dining room.

My small, but beloved, collection of Tintin crockery
About a decade or so back, I also recall one of my friends buying me a Tintin t-shirt during their Asian travels (I think it was a bootleg Tintin in Vietnam design), but that too has sadly gone (again, as old clothes tend to).

A few Christmasses ago (or maybe it was my birthday), Rachel got me Michael Farr's highly regarded Tintin: The Complete Companion, a comprehensive overview of the backgrounds to the stories and a look at Hergé's source material, photos, sketches etc

Unfortunately, I think Tintin has always played second fiddle to my love of American comics primarily because the latter always has new offerings every month, making it feel like a "living hobby" (the longer you leave it, the more there is to catch up on) whereas Hergé's Tintin consists of a set canon, never to be expanded upon, and so remains static and always available. 

Where It All Started: My Childhood Treasure

Saturday, November 22, 2025

The Birth of Cinematic Science Fiction

We’re going back more than a century to the very beginning of science fiction on film. Between 1898 and 1909, filmmakers were already imagining space travel, invisible men, and electric machines that could think for themselves. This video collects eight of the earliest sci-fi films ever made. Short, strange, and full of early cinematic magic.

Sunday, May 4, 2025

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)


... or WTF, George?

The infamous Star Wars Holiday Special had been a hole in my Star Wars education - as well as my DVD collection - until the start of 2011 when I finally caved and paid a few pounds on eBay for a bootleg.

Despite the best efforts of Royal Mail to smash the living daylights out of the DVD case, it arrived quickly and I eagerly put the disc in the player and sat back to enjoy...

The conceit is quite straight forward: Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) and Han Solo (Harrison Ford) are racing back to Chewie's homeworld (Kashyyyk) in time for the important celebration of Life Day (it's like our Christmas), but are being pursued and harassed by Imperial stardestroyers.

Meanwhile, on the forest world of  Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's family are nervously awaiting his arrival. It turns out Chewie's home is your average American suburban home of the late '70s - but located hundreds of feet up the side of a giant tree - complete with flat-pack furniture, sink and oven etc as well as knickknacks and framed photos of loved ones on the shelves.

Chewie's wife, Mallotobuck aka Malla (Mickey Morton) even watches cookery programmes on her flat-screen TV (a bit of prophetic set design there) and there's a general sense that this is, somehow, all supposed to be a comedy... only it isn't funny (except in the "laughing at it" sense, rather than the "laughing with it" sense).

The Imperials have established a blockade around the planet for fear of Rebel activity, but human trader Saun Dann (Art Carney) turns up with Life Day presents for the family - delivered with some of the flatest, most lifeless acting I've ever witnessed - which includes a model kit for Chewie's son, Lumpawarrump aka Lumpy (Patty Malone) and what amounts to a porno tape for Chewie's dad, Attichitcuk aka Itchy (Paul Gale).

The tape gets plugged into what appears to be a hairdryer and beams images into Itchy's head of Diahann Carroll as a holographic water creature who 'oohs' and 'ahhs' inappropriately through a prolonged musical number, while the grey-haired wookie gurns like Les Dawson.

A detachment of Imperials then show up, looking for Rebels, which gives Saun Dann the rather random excuse to demonstrate Malla's Life Day present - a music box that plays a hologram of Jefferson Starship (!!!)

The centrepiece of The Holiday Special is a short animation, that looks like a cross between French-style comic strips and Marvel's comic book take on the Star Wars Universe, and marks Boba Fett's debut appearance.

Now this is rather odd if you think about it, because Lumpy is watching this cartoon (secretly) while the Imperials search their house - yet it also features his father, Han Solo, Luke, Princess Leia and the droids. So is it a piece of fiction in the Star Wars Universe? How does that work? It hurts my head just trying to work out the logic of that...

However, that cartoon is easily the best bit of The Holiday Special and probably worth the cost of the DVD on its own.

The home stretch begins with a couple of unfunny sketches featuring Harvey Korman, the second of which, set in a cantina on Tatooine, also stars the gravel-voiced Golden Girl Bea Arthur as bartender Ackmena and devolves into yet another easily fast-forwardable musical number.

After the Imperials leave and Harrison Ford drops off Chewbacca - then bails as quickly as possible - things get truly surreal as the wookie clan are suddenly clothed in red capes and walking towards a glowing sphere while holding snow globes.

The inside of the glowing sphere turns out to be the Top Of The Pops studio, filled with similarly red-cloaked wookies and then - for no readily apparent reason - out comes C-3PO, R2-D2, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) and the lovely, but probably stoned, Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) who proceeds to deliver some saccharine message about how we're all alike (or something) then bursts into song!

I couldn't believe this bizarre piece of Star Wars history actually lasted an hour and a half, but I can see why George Lucas would rather we all forgot about it... hence the rather cheeky quote, attributed to him, on the DVD cover: "If I had time and a hammer, I'd track down every bootleg copy and smash it..."

Shown only once, as far as I am aware, on November 17, 1978, it seems a shame that Lucas can't take this in good humour and simply release a cleaned-up, official DVD of the show. Sure it was a mistake, but it's done, it's out there and fans will want to see it. The more Lucas tries to deny it, the more bootlegs people will buy because that's the only route available to them.

However, I now also suspect that Colonel Kurtz was not contemplating the Vietnam War but had just watched The Star Wars Holiday Special when he spoke those famous words: "The horror, the horror..."

Tuesday, February 25, 2025

As Above, So Below (2014)


A reckless treasure hunter (Perdita Weeks) leads a team of explorers into parts of the Paris Catacombs where tourists aren't allowed, in pursuit of Nicolas Flamel's legendary Philosopher's Stone.

As Above, So Below is a bit disorientating to start, with a segment of illicit Indiana Jonesing by Weeks' Scarlett Marlowe in the Middle East to get a glimpse of a hidden effigy that works as a Rosetta Stone for translating the clues to the Philosopher's Stone.

However, things settle down once Scarlett arrives in Paris with cameraman Benji (Edwin Hodge), who is shooting a documentary about her quest (which ties in to her father's tragic suicide).

Very quickly the subterranean expedition descends into a seemingly doomed old school D&D-style dungeoncrawl, as the team battle their way through environmental hazards, traps, and obstructions that seem to take on increasingly mystical aspects.

I'd avoided this film for years, knowing it was shot all POV, with hand-held shaky cameras, an annoying style of film-making that should have died out years before.

However, I was very pleasantly surprised by As Above, So Below, written and directed by John Erick Dowdle, as, once the action shifts into the catacombs, it's actually quite easy to accept this style of cinematography in this tight and oppressive setting.

There's a sequence reasonably early on where one of the party gets stuck in a narrow tunnel full of human bones, and it is genuinely terrifying and intense.

The hand-held camera actually brings you into the moment, and you will feel claustrophobic watching it.

For me, this film was a contemporary Dungeons & Dragons expedition, with a large, well-equipped party that manages to get out of its depth, and gradually sees its numbers whittled down in gruesome ways.

Without a score, the movie's atmosphere hinges largely on diegetic sound, which gets suitably funky in places, as the protagonists blunder from encounter to encounter trying to find their way back out.

However, the deeper they are forced to go into the underworld, the more mythic and surreal events become.

The smart script blends real beliefs about magic and Hell, with a hefty dollop of movie-making license to create a genuinely memorable horror flick.

While As Above, So Below doesn't quite reach Baskin levels of madness, the movie skirts very close to that style of Lovecraftian insanity in places, and there are some very clever visual tricks along the way.

Would I have preferred it if it had been shot "properly"? Of course. But as shaky-cam films go, this is one of the best.
My pop culture Odyssey: a slice of super-powered geek life with heavy emphasis on pulp adventure, superheroes, comic books, westerns, horror, sci-fi, giant monsters, zombies etc