Outlander (2008)

Some ideas are so obvious - and brilliant - that you're surprised that no one has thought of them before.

As far as I am aware, Outlander is the first film to pit Eighth Century Norse Vikings against an extraterrestrial monster!

Jim Caviezel is Kainan, the sole humanoid survivor of a crashed spaceship in Norway, but he soon discovers that an alien Moorwen has tagged along - the dragon-like beasts that his race have been fighting - and it's rampaging around the woody neighbourhood.

Kainen is captured by Viking warrior Wulfric (Jack Huston) and taken before king Rothgar (John Hurt).

The "outlander" tries to convince the locals of the Moorwen's existence, but they prefer to blame the attacks on a giant bear.

Matters are further complicated by the return of Gunnar (Ron Perlman) and his troops, who believe Rothgar's men raided their village while they were away trading - little realising it was the Moorwen.

Rothgar's warrior daughter Freya (Sophia Myles, of vampire detective series Moonlight and Doctor Who's Girl In The Fireplace) takes a shine to Kainan, despite Wulfric's desire to have her, but Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain's script manages to sidestep the cliched love triangle sub-plot by, instead, focusing on the grudging respect that grows between Wulfric and Kainan.

Opening with suggestions of Predator and even the original Planet Of The Apes, Outlander quickly develops into a superb Dungeons And Dragons-flavoured "man against monster" movie and a strong contender for the title of Top Film Of 2009!

The excitement is non-stop, the battle scenes are superb, with just the right dash of gruesome (there's one particularly shocking decapitation which caught me by surprise) that culminates in a tense engagement between the Vikings - led by Wulfric and Kainan - and the Moorwen in the beast's charnel lair.

What helps to elevate this story above the usual fare though is the backstory of Kainan and the Moorwen which reveals that Kainan's people aren't really the "good guys" when you view the larger picture and it was their treatment of the Moorwen that provoked the whole situation in the first place.

There are a few minor plot wobbles along the way - Freya seems almost indestructible whenever she is cornered by the man-eating beastie and there is some ridiculously fast sword-making by the Vikings when they are preparing for the final showdown - but these are trivial issues compared to the sheer thrill ride of the movie as a whole.

Jim Caviezel is a solid action hero while the ever-reliable Ron Perlman and John Hurt both bring their A-Game in roles that were made for them.

A simple, without being simplistic, script, delivered by great actors on top form, aided by slick special effects and a particularly imposing monster, make Outlander's 110 minute duration pure entertainment of the highest calibre.

Know Me, Know My Shelves

Works of, or inspired by, George RR Martin, JRR Tolkien and Jim Henson

Despite the heat wave plaguing our little corner of the world this week, I think I've finished organising my wonderful new bookshelves (put together for me by Rachel's dad last year).

As they are, the shelves are a pretty decent encapsulation of the inside of my brain, focussing on my favourite authors and favourite themes.

From Westeros to the World of Mortal Engines, via the Hyborian Age and Mega-City One, right through to the Planet of The Apes and the Wild West, this is a guided tour of my psyche and my primary, literary gaming inspirations.

Of course, these are not my only book shelves in the house, but are my most recently built and filled.

Pretty sure, now, there's no more room for any more shelves... although there's always room for more books.

Philip Reeve

Conan The Barbarian

Robert E Howard

HP Lovecraft and The Cthulhu Mythos

Westerns - there are more Western paperbacks in another cupboard

Judge Dredd & 2000AD (plus a sneaky little RPG that has yet to find a home)

Planet of The Apes

TOMORROW IS FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!!!

Tomorrow is that most wonderful day known as Free Comic Book Day (and Comic Giveaway Day, for reasons).

The day when comic book publishers (large and small) try to tempt you to try their wares - or hook existing readers in for the next "must read" story arc - with free sampler comics at your friendly local comic store.

Remember, the books may be free to you - but the store still pays for them, so don't be greedy!

I've already revealed several of the titles that have caught my eye this year, such as the two Conan comics and Marvel's "apes and aliens" book, but there's also a He-Man and the Masters of the Universe/Dungeons & Dragons offering from Dark Horse that will scratch a certain itch.

More Uninvited Guests Drop In On The Planet of The Apes

Cover art by Stonehouse

Rather than giving the classic Planet of The Apes its own ongoing series, Marvel continues to push it as the perfect tourist destination for crossovers with its other properties.

The planet is currently enjoying a visit from the Fantastic Four, and in July the Yautja (aka Predators) are dropping in for a five-issue miniseries, Predator versus Planet of The Apes, penned by Greg Pak and illustrated by Alan Robinson.

"Worlds collide when a deadly Yautja crash-lands on the legendary Planet of the Apes!

"After a rescue mission gone wrong, astronaut Arch finds herself embedded in a hostile ape society where humans are subservient. But the hunters soon became the hunted when the apes find themselves being stalked by Predators!

"A three-way war is about to erupt between humans, apes and Yautja – who will reign supreme?!…

"Blending the mythology as well as the themes of both universes, the revolutionary saga pushes both Yautja and ape to their limit in a brutal battle for dominance!"

A prequel story to this series will appear in Free Comic Book Day Comics Giveaway Day's Alien, Predator & Planet of The Apes #1 (available on Saturday, May 2).

Variant cover by Tim Seeley

Movie cover variant art by Chris Campana

Reaching A Turning Point In My Life As An RPG Collector

The arrival this week of the The Planet of The Apes Roleplaying Game Core Rulebook and the supplementary ANSA Files marks a major turning point in my lifelong habit of buying gaming books.

If I can stick to my goals, this pair of gorgeous hardback books will be the last I buy that are not directly connected to a game I'm running or seriously planning to.

As beautifully designed and illustrated as these two meaty tomes are, I have no expectations of ever actually running the system (it uses West End Games' old d6 dice pool mechanics, which were never my cup of tea as a potential gamemaster).

I've purchased these purely as a completionist, as someone who has loved - and been mildly obsessed by - the original, classic Planet of The Apes movies since he was a little kid.

Sure, it wouldn't surprise me when I get round to reading them more thoroughly if I don't find ideas, maybe even rules, that I can lift for a future game unconnected with this simian franchise.

But, ultimately, these are resource books and artefacts, not rule books I can ever see myself busting out for the Tuesday Knights.

And - as I said a moment ago, if I can stick to my guns - these will be the last I purchase in this manner, the last I get to just "look at" rather than actually use as The Lawgiver intended.

I know it's a pretty standard aspect of the roleplaying hobby, but it's one I can no longer justify personally either for financial or space reasons (as both are becoming increasingly tight).

Going forward, I intend to keep a narrow focus on Twilight Sword as the game I intend to run next for the Tuesday Knights (although I have a back-up system if Twilight Sword, for some reason, doesn't live up to my expectations. It's a system I already own and have run once for the group, and they really enjoyed it).

Sample page from the Core Rulebook

Sample page from The ANSA (American National Space Administration) Files

Return To Planet of The Apes For Comic Book Giveaway

As part of Comics Giveaway Day - an "alternative" to the established Free Comic Book Day but occurring on the same day - Marvel, having remembered it has the Planet of The Apes license, will be releasing a new story for our simian superstars in a book showcasing 20th Century Studios sci-fi.

Saladin Ahmed presents a tale set on a planet that’s already succumbed to Xenomorphs! And in Jordan Morris’ story, a Yautja warrior stalks one of Earth’s greatest fighters. All this and a return to the Planet of the Apes!

This free comic will be available in participating comic book stores on May 2 (which is also Free Comic Book Day).

Archie Gets Groovy Facing The Army of Darkness

Robert Hack cover art for Archie X The Army of Darkness,
from Dynamite and Archie Comics

Clearly February is the month for crazy comic book crossovers. Following the exciting announcement of the Fantastic Four landing on The Planet of The Apes, it's now come to my attention that a certain Ash Williams (of Evil Dead/Army of Darkness fame) is paying a visit to Riverdale - to save Archie and his crew from a soul-sucking horde of zombie deadites!

There’s a certain man – name’s Ash, you may have heard of him – who is doomed to battle against the forces of evil, over and over again, whether he likes it or not. No matter where he goes, the cycle of violence always repeats itself – until the day that he arrives in the picturesque town of Riverdale.

This supernaturally wholesome community seems to break the curse that has plagued Ash ever since he first encountered its otherworldly evil all those years ago. Or rather, the curse was broken – until an over-curious teenager named Archie finds a copy of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis and reads a portion of it aloud, summoning the horrifying Deadites once again!

Now Ash and the good townsfolk of Riverdale must hold back the undead hordes long enough for Archie to undo what he’s unwittingly done. Otherwise, an Army of Darkness will roll over Riverdale and destroy everything and everyone in its path – and that’s just not going to happen on Ashley J. Williams’s watch!

Fresh-faced author Erik Burnham (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters) joins wide-eyed artist Bill Galvan (Archie, Guardians of the Galaxy) for a long night’s journey into mayhem with Archie X Army of Darkness #1!

Burnham's run on Ghostbusters was superb, so I have high hopes for this melding of two very different humorous franchises when the first issue arrives in stores in February.

Featuring clean-cut covers from Galvan, Robert Hack, Laura Braga, Craig Cermak, and Stuart Sayger , this premier issue also boasts a special Premium Mystery Blind Bag that contains three limited editions of the issue selected randomly from a range of variant covers exclusive to this offering – including two original covers by Galvan and Francesco Francavilla, as well as multiple line art variants and coloured blanks. Please Note: The number of Blind Bags is limited, and allocations may occur.

It's Clobberin' Time On The Planet of The Apes

Main cover art for issue one by Greg Land

Considering Marvel's historic connection with the Planet of The Apes franchise, since it regained the license in 2022 it feels as though it has done very little with it.

But that's all about to change. The last Ape-centric title Marvel gave us was the underwhelming Beware The Planet of The Apes, back in mid-2024, but next February the publisher brings its First Family into conflict with simian-kind with the mini-series Planet of The Apes versus Fantastic Four.

The four-part serial is written by Josh Trujillo with art from Andrea Di Vito and Erick Arciniega.

In a first for this combination of popular franchises, the Fantastic Four arrive on the Planet of the Apes:

"Witness history as the Fantastic Four cross paths for the very first time with Cornelius, Zira, Ursus – and of course Dr. Zaius! But they won't be going alone! Familiar foes from the Marvel Universe have set their sights on Ape City, setting the stage for a battle royale that fans won't soon forget!"

While not the most enticing or original plot hook, this book is still the first, official, chance to see such a mix of beloved characters all in one place.

Interior artwork from Planet of The Apes versus Fantastic Four

Books, Books, As Far As The Eye Can See

The shelving is finished, but the "stocking up" remains a work in progress

The highlight of this week has been the magical appearance of my new bookcase. Paid for by Rachel and assembled by her dad, I absolutely love these new shelves to display my stuff on.

For about a year I've been planning for a new book case, but had only pictured it going half-way up the wall - with room for a framed picture above - but then Rachel and her dad said it would be feasible to build one up to the ceiling.

I'm so glad I followed their suggestion, as I think I was very incredibly optimistic over how much I could squeeze into a half-size bookcase!

What you see above is the current state of affairs, and I've promised everyone that I won't fill every single centimetre with weighty tomes (as this is on the first floor and nobody wants to see it drop through to the ground floor!).

Given my current disability, I am unable to reach the top shelves, so managed to persuade Rachel to help fill-up top (and bring boxes of previously hidden books up from the lounge).

The current make-up of my bookcase is a shelf for Westerns, one for Planet of The Apes, three for Judge Dredd -related products (I still need to get a stand for my old Lawgiver Mk2, which used to sit - in its packaging - in a glass cabinet in my original gamesroom in our old house), a couple for Robert E Howard and Conan books, one for Stephen King, one for Dune books (which is shared with a Star Wars Sith holocron), one for my Fantastic Four merch from the cinema, and then a display of Funko Pops along the top, bookended by cat statues painted to resemble my late parents' two cats: Cookie and Rover.

The cat figures were gifts I got my parents decades ago, when I was still working for the newspaper. There was someone at our head office who had access to a variety of blank statutes that he would then paint to resemble people's cats, based on photographs you supplied him.

I'm glad I finally have somewhere to display the pair properly.

Health-wise, it's been an up-and-down week. After a frustrating phone chat with my GP the other week (my doc didn't know why she was ringing, even though it was her who had asked me to book the call), Rachel and I were directed to a self-referral site for NHS physio.

We filled it in, but then a day or so later I got a call to say I had been rejected and was better off going to the falls clinic.

Through gritted teeth I explained I was already going through the falls clinic procedures and was looking for something to supplement that and, hopefully, develop my strength and stability further.

Later that evening I got a text to say I was now being referred and the following day I got an email containing the phone number to arrange my appointment. So, that's a job for this week.

The Tuesday Knights May Be On An Extended Hiatus, But The Gaming Wheels Are Still Turning

Today is the 17th anniversary of the first gathering of our gaming group, The Tuesday Knights.

However, we are currently on an extended hiatus - for various reasons we haven't gamed since May and now, of course, I'm rather entangled in a medical "mystery" as science tries to figure out why my legs aren't working properly!

I've thus pulled the plug on my supers' game, as Pete has stepped up with a new system he has invested in, to continue his long-running time travel/alternate reality campaign, which has so far bounced from GURPS Atomic Horror to Hollow Earth Expedition.

Next up will be Outgunned, which I'm very excited about as it's a game I was seriously considering picking up when it was launched through some crowdfunding programme or another. It's "cinematic action" vibe really appeals to me, so I'm looking forward to playing this.

I think we might still be playing in the same Indiana Jones-inspired inter-war setting in which our HEX game was set, presumably using the Outgunned Adventure supplement, although, to be honest, I wouldn't mind our characters sliding into contemporary bodies for a bit of John Wick/James Bond action.

In the meantime, I've superficially been kicking around some alternate systems for me to try out on the gang once I'm feeling better and Pete takes his next break from his long-running game (currently 32 sessions over 36 months).

Top contenders for further investigation on my behalf are:

GO FER YER GUN! But rather than a straight Western, I'd be looking to "Dark Tower it up" by easily blending some magic and monsters into the mix. This would be very easy to do with the simple d20 rules of Go Fer Yer Gun! 

ALIEN RPG (EVOLVED): I haven't read enough of the original edition to really get my head round the system, but there's a new edition out later this year (I didn't back the Kickstarter) and I really love the setting.

STAR TREK ADVENTURES (2nd Edition): I've never really grokked the 2d20 system that Modiphius uses to power most of its RPGs, but I know a lot of online buddies talk of playing in ongoing, long-running campaigns with this game. And who doesn't love Star Trek, right? I have the starter set for the new edition, just need to get round to reading the books.

PLANET OF THE APES: Another setting I adore. I can't help imagining the team as crashed astronauts on a post-apocalyptic Earth being pursued by trumpet-blowing gorillas.

The rules are variation on the old West End Games d6 system, which many, many people speak highly of although I've never played it. I didn't back the Planet of The Apes Kickstarter in the end, but the rule books are due out early next year.

BEYOND THE VEIL: While my previous possibilities are essentially variations on a theme, just with different settings, Beyond The Veil is nothing like any of those.

It's a roleplaying game about ghost-hunters in contemporary times. Not superheroes or trained astronauts, but members of the public - both believers and non-believers - brought together to scientifically investigate claims of the supernatural. It's The X-Files, Uncanny podcast and Stephen King horror, mingled with UFOs, cryptids and ghost stories, as read about through the pages of The Fortean Times.

Beyond The Veil is due to hit Kickstarter in a couple of months, but I already have the introductory Prologue booklet, which I'm halfway through reading.

Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes (2024)

Opening up with Caesar's funeral, Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes then jumps forward in time "many generations" (probably several hundred years) from War For The Planet of The Apes, the end of the first trilogy of the stories in the revamped franchise.

Ape society in this post-apocalyptic world has evolved into numerous tribes and the film's protagonists are the Eagle Clan - who tame wild eagles as their pets.

Noa (It's Owen Teague) of The Eagle Clan finds himself alone when violent ape raiders from another clan kidnap his family and friends, leaving him for dead.

In his quest to track them down, Noa teams up with Raka (Peter Macon aka Bortus from The Orville), an orangutan follower of Caesar's teachings, and a talking human, Mae (The Witcher's Freya Allen).

Mae knows where Noa's tribe has been taken, the kingdom of self-proclaimed "Caesar", the bonobo Proximus (genre stalwart Kevin Durand).

He is employing his many captives as muscle to try and break into the ancient bunker complex around which he has set up camp.

This new Caesar wants to get his hands on the powerful human treasures he believes are stored within.

Mae, however, knows exactly what's in there and has her eyes set on a single, important item that she hopes might give humanity its "voice" back.

Narratively this sub-plot is the only real hiccup in Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes.

Mae - and. it turns out. others - seem very knowledgeable about the Old World and so you have to wonder why they waited "many generations" to put their mysterious plan into operation?

It would be a spoiler to go into too much detail, but the huge revelation in the denouement (which does NOT involve The Statue of Liberty) clearly sets up the - as yet unannounced officially - sequel, leaving so many questions unanswered.

This does, unfortunately, mean an otherwise gorgeous and enthralling movie feels slightly incomplete. 

None of which means I didn't love this film. Despite its 145-minute duration, this is a fantastic, engrossing, adventure romp that comes in a close second, in my admiration for the new CGI Apes era, behind Rise of The Planet of The Apes.

Pitched as the start of a new trilogy of movies, Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes is peppered with call-backs to the original films from the 1960s and '70s, from musical cues to homages (e.g. the human hunt sequence) and Easter Eggs.

Massive kudos to director Wes Ball (previously best known for the Maze Runner trilogy) whose love and enthusiasm for this franchise has helped bring out top-notch performances from the primarily primate performers (with guidance and assistance from the legendary maestro of motion-capture Andy Serkis).

Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes is a thing of beauty, blending location shooting with stage sets, inhabited by the breathtakingly perfect mo-cap apes (courtesy of Wētā FX).

The slight problem this visual feast caused me - particularly when it came to the interactions of the ape characters - was the constant hollering from the dark recesses of my brain going "wow, I wonder how they did that?" and distracting me from the unfolding story.

War For The Planet Of The Apes (2017)

As far as I'm concerned the original 1960s/'70s Planet Of The Apes movies are - warts and all - sacrosanct, critic-proof, indelible parts of my childhood and formative years.

The 2001 Tim Burton 'reboot' is best forgotten (as I think most people have).

And so I came to this decade's retelling of the classic story with a degree of caution.

To date, the new franchise was running 50/50. I really enjoyed Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, but was ultimately underwhelmed by Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes.

This left me uncertain of what to expect from War For The Planet Of The Apes, as the same team that had fumbled the ball with Dawn were behind this new offering.

But not only had they learned from their mistakes, but writer-director Matt Reeves and co-writer Mark Bomback have managed to deliver a genuine epic of sweeping emotions and spectacular action.

The time-frame has moved on several years from Dawn.

Caesar (surely an Oscar-worthy mo-cap performance from the brilliant Andy Serkis) and his colleagues fighting the war that the rogue Koba started, but are trying to convince the humans that they just want to live in peace.

However, when The Colonel (Woody Harrelson, in full Marlon Brando/Colonel Kurtz mode) kills members of Caesar's family, the conflict becomes personal and the super-intelligent chimpanzee makes it his mission in life to exact revenge on The Colonel.

The situation is complicated by the discovery that the virus that caused all the problems to start with is continuing to mutate, causing additional problems for the human species.

Taking a small band of loyal followers with him, Caesar sends the rest of his tribe off to safety, then sets out on his crusade.

More than ever, War For The Planet Of The Apes focuses on the simian side of the conflict.

While Caesar is a flawed protagonist, the apes are definitely the good guys and the humans - violent and stupid - are not shown in a great light.

Although primarily a dramatic and violent war film, balanced with some genuine humanity and tragedy, I was surprised by the injection of moments of humour - largely due to the addition of Bad Ape (Steve Zahn) to Caesar's band.

The film is also full of wonderful nods to the original movies, from the introduction of young Nova (Amiah Miller), the mute child who is the one human to side with the apes; through the striking ape crucifixions; to the alpha/omega icongraphy of The Colonel's military encampment.

In spite of its two hours and 20 minutes duration, War For The Planet Of The Apes holds your attention and draws you in, you can't help but feel genuine emotional attachment to the computer-generated, simian characters. Every emotion can be read on their faces as they experience them, you hear ever change in timbre in their voices.

The special effects, especially with regard to the motion-capture portrayal of the apes, are simply incredible. They are so good you truly believe in these characters without a second thought.

This is the gold standard by which other effects-heavy movies should be judged now.

The effects are so good and, more crucially, the performances by the actors portraying the characters created through motion-capture are so impressive that, if you immerse yourself in the movie, it feels as real as any movie shot without any special effects.

And director Matt Reeves has such an incredible artistic eye for visuals, encapsulated perfectly in the final scenes that - clearly deliberately - evoke the feeling of an old school Hollywood Biblical epic when the apes ultimately come to their 'promised land'.

War For The Planet Of The Apes can clearly be read as a prequel to the scenario established in the 1968 original, as it sets up the fall of mankind and the rise to dominance of the apes.

With the advances in movie-making technology, and in the gifted hands of a visionary director like Reeves, I'm now hoping for a genuine remake of the original to bring the franchise full circle.

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes (2014)

Director Matt Reeves and Twentieth Century Fox have pulled off a cunning bait-and-switch with Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes, getting the summer blockbuster crowds flocking to see to a sub-titled foreign film!

Because that's essentially what Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes is with almost as little English spoken dialogue as an Arnold Schwarzenegger flick, about 75 per cent of the movie is the apes signing - or grunting - to each other, translated as sub-titles.

And the apes are magnificent. There is no denying the brilliance of the special effects and the emotional depth the actors manage to portray through motion-capture.

The script by Mark Bomback, Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silveris also heavily biased towards the simian elements of the story with the humans being two-dimensional at best.

We have followed the key apes - such as Caesar (Andy Serkis) and Koba (Toby Kebbell) - from Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes and they are given solid character arcs. However, in stark contrast, the humans we meet for the first time here we never really get to know anything of any substance about and so they generally come across as broad stereotypes.

Gary Oldman's character, Dreyfus, for instance adds nothing to the story, except his final act of destruction which could have been committed by any of the nameless supporting characters.

It's ten years since the outbreak of simian flu (as seen at the end of Rise) and the apes have made themselves a nice home in the woods outside of San Francisco, across the Golden Gate Bridge, while human civilization has collapsed and been at war with itself for increasingly less resources.

Despite living just across the bridge from each other the apes haven't seen any humans for two years and the humans in San Francisco seem even more oblivious to the colony of apes (I know this is all post-apocalypty, but I did find this a bit hard to believe).

The humans need the energy from an hydroelectric dam up in the forest (to power their iPads mainly) and so send out a small party to scout it out. The group includes Malcolm (Jason Clarke), his son Alexander (Kodi Smit-McPhee), Malcolm's girlfriend Ellie (Keri Russell) and fine Fringe alum Kirk Acevedo as the required troublemaker - and they unexpectedly run into the apes. Naturally hilarity ensues.

Caesar reluctantly comes to trust the humans, while scarred-up Koba hates them with a white-hot fury and does his best to sabotage any moves to establish respect or friendship between the two neighbouring colonies.

Most of the humans - barring Malcolm and his make-shift family - aren't overly fond of the apes either and so inevitably tensions come to a head and conflict breaks out.

The storyline of Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes isn't particularly clever or original and ultimately it comes off feeling like a bridging film between the fantastic Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes and whatever is coming next in the franchise.

Also, for a summer blockbuster (and especially one with a surprising amount of subtitles), it's a very "talky" film, with some noticeably slow patches between the fast-paced action sequences.

In hindsight, this is an Apes film for lovers of the franchise that, despite its big build-up, seems quite small in its execution, portraying what is presumably a key moment in the development of (this iteration of) The Planet Of The Apes, rather than being the self-contained epic some might have been expecting.

Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes is enjoyable, but not to the same degree as Rise. It goes part way towards realising the potential set out in the original film, but with the inescapable feeling that there is still a lot more to come.

The main takeaway from Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes for me was a hunger to see where the franchise goes next.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2011)

It is inevitable that one day mankind will be superseded by ape-kind and I will be at the front of the crowd, waving my flag and cheering on our new simian overlords.

With that bias in mind, my predisposition was to expect greatness from Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (hoping it would wipe, forever, from our collective consciousnesses Tim Burton's ill-conceived abomination of 2001).

What I wasn't expecting was just how damn awesome it was!

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes is, without a doubt, the most perfect piece of filmmaking of 2011, from Rupert Wyatt's direction and Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver's script to the motion-capture apes and the humans they interact with.

The plot pacing was superb, the foreshadowing excellent, and the beautiful little Easter eggs for fans of the original ape films (from Caesar's model of the Statue of Liberty and the name "Bright Eyes" through to line-lifts such as "it's a madhouse", "get your hands off me..." and a certain other key line delivered by a key character) simply showed how much care and attention had gone into this movie, and its respect for its cinematic predecessors.

James Franco plays research scientist Will Rodman, working on a cure for Alzheimer's, but a catastrophic accident during final testing makes his boss order him to have all their test subjects - chimpanzees - put down.

Will takes pity on a baby chimp and takes him home to be a companion to his father Charles Rodman (John Lithgow), a former music teacher and scholar now in the grip of Alzheimer's.

The chimp, who they name Caesar, soon becomes a central part of the family unit, especially when Will tests his gene-therapy on his father and it works.

Unfortunately, years later, the therapy starts to wear off for Charles and he finds himself in an altercation with his obnoxious neighbour, a pilot called Hunsiker (Stargate's David Hewlett).

Caesar jumps in to save his friend and ends up being taken in by the authorities and handed over to an animal control centre run by John Landon (Brian Cox) and his obnoxious son Dodge (Tom Felton).

It is here, eventually, that Caesar hatches his plan to liberate his fellow apes and take revenge on mankind.

That brief summation of the early scenes of the movie doesn't even begin to do it justice.

As well-rounded as the human characters are, the film truly belongs to Caesar - the CGI ape created by motion-capture technology and based upon the performance of the incredible Andy Serkis (already renowned for brining life to such diverse characters as Gollum and King Kong).

Given that the bulk of his feelings and emotions are expressed through sign language, gestures or facial expressions, Serkis has made Caesar an incredibly complex and well-rounded character.

If he doesn't get some mighty gong for his performance here then there truly is no justice in the world.

You also have to feel slightly sorry for Tom Felton, having played the 'bad boy' of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy, for all these years, his first post-Harry Potter role is just as objectionable. But he suitably slimy as Dodge and gets his just desserts at the hands of the apes he loves tormenting.

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes is a classic 'science-experiment-gone-wrong' movie and naturally ends with a breath-taking action sequence that makes great use of the streets of San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge.

However, that's not the end of things because as the closing credits hint, and picking up on clues sown throughout the movie (man's first manned mission to Mars, spacecraft disappearing etc), the groundwork was been laid seamlessly for the inevitable sequel.

And it couldn't come soon enough...

Reed Richards Works With ANSA??? Is There A Fantastic Four Connection To The Planet Of The Apes Franchise?

In an era of rapid technological advancement and scientific discovery, one man stands at the forefront, driving humanity toward new horizons: Dr. Reed Richards. His expansive credentials stretch beyond what could be expected of a single man:

• An advisor to the ANSA, Dr. Richards has played a crucial role in the United States' burgeoning space program.
• His theoretical models on propulsion systems and space travel have been instrumental in developing technologies that have made manned missions to the stars a reality.
• In the field of biology, Richards' research of genetics is opening new doors to understanding life itself.
• Beyond his research, he is deeply committed to the education and mentorship of our future scientists.

Fantastic Science with Mister Fantastic airs weekly on ABC.

• In his spare time, Dr. Richards develops fantastic new technologies to make everyday life easier as CEO of ReedTech.
• And last but certainly not least, Dr. Richards has regularly saved the planet from threats unknown as a member of the Fantastic Four!

So, in the alternate 1960s of Fantastic Four: First Steps, Reed Richards works with the "United States' burgeoning space program" i.e. the American National Space Administration (ANSA).

In the 1968 movie (on our world) Planet of The Apes, astronaut George Taylor (Charlton Heston) and the crew of the Icarus were also part of ANSA.

Again, in our world, Disney controls the rights to both the Planet of The Apes franchise and, of course, the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Is this some subtle hint of an impending crossover? Or just a sly wink and an Easter Egg for us Apes/FF geeks?

I'm hoping for the former, but suspect the latter.

More faux magazine covers from the Fantastic Four: First Steps

PULP PICTURE OF THE MONTH: Tarzan Triumphs (1943)

The Second World War has come to Tarzan's Africa... and he wants nothing to do with it.

Ever the isolationist, Tarzan just wants to keep Boy safe (Jane is 'away in England' - a plot device to cover Maureen O'Sullivan's absence from the film), even when a detachment of Nazi paratroopers take over the isolated, hidden and resource-rich city-state of Palandrya.

Having advance knowledge of the city's location, the Nazi's parachute in, with the idea of enslaving the locals to make a runway so they can bring aircraft in and use the city as a base for their conquest of Sub Saharan Africa.

Their plan goes slightly awry when their radio operator, Lt. Reinhardt Schmidt (Rex Williams), is separated from the main party, injured and rescued by Tarzan. The Nazi's plane turns to try and rescue him, but is brought down by an unfortunate flamingo-birdstrike!

Schmidt is, of course, totally duplicitous and ends up getting his just desserts, leaving the German's radio at Tarzan's camp.

The gorgeous Zandra (Frances Gifford, from the Edgar Rice Burroughs' Jungle Girl, the Republic serial), a friend of Boy and Tarzan's, escapes from Palandrya to enlist the Jungle Man in her bid to reclaim her city from the Nazi invaders, but - despite her feminine wiles -Tarzan doesn't want anything to do with such foolishness.

Without their radio, the Nazis are trapped in the jungle, so they goose-step over to Tarzan's camp to reclaim it (however, sneaky Cheeta the chimp has swiped an important coil, so it doesn't work anyway) and kidnap Boy instead.

This is the final straw for the Ape Man, who declares: "Now Tarzan make war!"

Tarzan heads off to Palandrya, gets captured - along with Zandra - and has to be rescued (as usual) by Cheeta, before he can lead the repressed natives in a violent uprising to usurp the Nazis.

In a scene presaging Planet Of The Apes, bizarrely Cheeta gets in on the Nazi killing when he grabs a machine gun and mows down the captain.

Possibly the most violent of the old Tarzan films, Tarzan Triumphs even has Boy shooting a Nazi... all in a good cause, of course!

The film wraps up with a scene that makes no sense whatsoever: the radio finally connects to Nazi HQ, but instead of the expedition's leader, Col. Von Reichart (Stanley Ridges), the soldiers in Berlin hear Cheeta chattering away... and believe it is a message from Adolf Hitler!

Totally potty, but no doubt it got a great roar of approval from wartime audiences.

There is no moral ambiguity about Tarzan Triumphs. As explained on Wikipedia this was propaganda, pure and simple:

The U.S. State Department informed Sol Lesser [the producer] that a Tarzan film would be an ideal way to spread the message of democracy's battle against Fascism to the American public. Lesser's first RKO Tarzan film had made the Ape Man a symbol of American isolationism.

The majority of the Nazi forces are out-of-shape and I can't help but wonder if this was a deliberate propaganda jibe as well, or simply a reflection of the availability of extras at this time.

I've also read that by this stage Maureen O'Sullivan had grown tired of playing Jane, but probably the most accurate explanation for her absence was the swift of the Tarzan franchise from MGM to RKO - O'Sullivan was an MGM contract player.

Maybe the lovely Frances Gifford's Zandra was being eyed up as a replacement for Jane, if O'Sullivan wasn't interested, or able, to return to the franchise.

Me Tarzan, Who Jane?

Abigail (2024)

A sextet of professional criminals are hired to kidnap the daughter of a wealthy businessman and hold her hostage while their 'go-between' sorts out the $50 million ransom demand.

The criminals are a mixed bag, all unknown to each other and chosen for their special skills: medic Joey (Melissa Barrera, from the recent Scream movies); ex-cop Frank (Dan Stevens, of Legion fame and many other works); hacker Sammy (Kathryn Newton, from Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania); muscle Peter (Kevin Durand, another genre staple, most recently mo-capping as Proximus in Kingdom of The Planet of The Apes); sniper Rickles (Will Catlett, from the underrated TV series Constellation); and driver Dean (the late Angus Cloud in his last live-action performance).

When they suss out that the 12-year-old ballerina, Abigail (Alisha Weir, from Matilda: The Musical) that they've grabbed is actually the daughter of a legendary underworld bogeyman, the Keyser Söze-like Kristof Lazaar, the hardened villains start to go to pieces.

Matters get worse when they realise that the isolated mansion that their contact, Lambert (The Mandalorian's Giancarolo Esposito), has sent them to seems to be designed to keep them in... rather than keep out anyone sent to rescue Abigail.

Then the gang's problems escalate as they start getting killed off one-by-one and the survivors come to understand that their hostage is actually an extremely dangerous - and old - vampire... not a small child!

And they are her prey.

Directed by horror legends Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (aka Radio Silence), who brought us the last two Scream movies and the wonderful Ready or Not, Abigail is glorious, blood-splattered cocktail mixing Reservoir Dogs and The Usual Suspects with Dusk Till Dawn.

Crime caper meets creature feature horror, with Grand Guignol results.

Following Tarantino's Dusk Till Dawn formula, the charismatic 'bad guys' pull off their kidnapping cleanly and are then find themselves trapped in a confined space with a monster even more dangerous than their own dark sides.

Extremely violent and gory, humorous, and action-packed, this 109-minute movie is so well-paced that you don't feel its duration in the slightest.

Even with a limited cast to kill off in true 'spam in a cabin' style, and an obvious 'final girl' from the get-go, the Radio Silence duo wring every bit of brilliance out of the script by their frequent collaborator Guy Busick and Stephen Shields.

The only slight slip-up, for me, in the whole production was - during the final sequence - the directors didn't seem able to decide whether it was night or day outside (which, when you're talking vampires, can be quite key). 

However, that minor glitch aside, I absolutely loved this monster movie.

A strong contender for my "film of the year" so far, Abigail also definitely feels like it has great sequel (even maybe a franchise) potential.