Biblical Epics

Every now and again in my non-stop viewing calendar I like to take a moment to return to the big screen epics of my youth, the grandiose Bible stories that were a staple of vintage cinema.

In those benighted, pre-VHS days, when there were only three TV channels available in the UK, I would get my large-scale fantasy fix from 1950's movies like The Ten Commandments (which I'm watching at the moment), Ben-Hur, The Robe, Quo Vadis etc which were played, it seemed, pretty much on rotation at the weekends.

I have an embarrassing childhood memory of a very young me (possibly five or six) standing in the garden with a large stick - doubling as a staff - pretending to be Moses at the top of my lungs!

Never once did I think these were anything more than pseudohistorical, sword-and-sandal, fantasy stories but there was something there that piqued my young imagination.

In parallel with my unwavering love of Ray Harryhausen films and coupled with Kirk Douglas in The Vikings and, of course, Spartacus, these movies were already shaping my "swords-and-???" tastes even before I was introduced to the works of JRR Tolkien and then Dungeons & Dragons. 

Dungeons & Dragons provided me with a way to quantify ("stat up") the things I was seeing in these movies and hearing at school during our compulsory "religious education" (which meant trying to force Christianity onto us, rather than teaching us about all the religions of the world).

At prep school, I recall excitedly going through the hymn book we were given, hunting for potential magic items: "Bring me my bow of burning gold, bring me my arrows of desire!"

In recent times, harkening back to this mini-obsession of my tween and pre-tween years, I even sought out (I think from Noble Knight Games in the  States eventually, when it didn't cost an arm and a leg to ship something across The Atlantic), the Green Ronin d20 supplement Testament, for running games in the Old Testament era.

No, it doesn't have stats for God (unlike the Fantasy Wargaming book, by the late Bruce Galloway, published in the early 1980s, which has stats for both God and the Virgin Mary) but it does go into a lot of historical detail about life and beliefs in that ancient era.

The most recent "Biblical Epic" of the peplum variety that I've seen was 2018's Samson, a pretty decent retelling of one of the few Bible stories that ever held my interest.

Although they seem to be few and far between these days, I always keep half-an-eye out for any competent "Biblical Epics" that skirt the edges of my geeky radar.

A Celebration of "Underrated" British Science Fiction Cinema

British sci-fi has always felt different: quieter, stranger, and often more human.In this video, we’re looking at some of the most fascinating and underrated British science fiction films from different decades — movies that deserve far more attention and, in many ways, outshine Hollywood’s biggest productions.

Join Sophie Aldred On An Ace Odyssey Through The Whoniverse

This week saw the launch of Sophie Aldred's new Doctor Who-adjacent podcast, Ace Odyssey.

Sophie, of course, played The Seventh Doctor's companion, Dorothy 'Ace' McShane from 1987, has appeared in countless Big Finish audios, and returned to the TV show in 2022 for The 13th Doctor's send-off, The Power of The Doctor.

Depending on the format of other podcasts you listen to, Ace Odyssey might come across initially as a bit unusual, with the host's chatty companions - such as Hobbes, her robotic butler, and Mrs C, the Cockney goldfish - taking a moment to get used to.

However, what shouldn't come as surprise is that Sophie's first interview subject is The Seventh Doctor himself, the marvellous Sylvester McCoy, chatting about his early life and his first exposure to the business known as show. It's a wild and fascinating conversation!

Next up for an interview is Big Finish writer Ali Winter, talking about her own fandom and how she found her way to working on Doctor Who for Big Finish.

For Appleheads, the podcast can be found here on iTunes, otherwise search your podcatcher of choice for Sophie Aldred's Ace Odyssey.

The full show description is shown below:

Strap in, adjust your gravity boots, and mind the Patmats! You’ve arrived on the Nosferatu 2.5, the intergalactic pop-culture research vessel captained by Sophie Aldred herself. Your journey through time, space, memory, and fandom begins here.

At Sophie’s side is her unwavering (if occasionally exasperated) companion Hobbes: a clockwork butler with the heart of a neutron star, a head full of circuits, and more opinions than his maker strictly intended. Between them, they navigate cosmic curiosities, improbable technology, mysterious doors, and the occasional rogue goldfish.

For our maiden voyage, the ship’s unpredictable Time Scoop whirrs to life—summoning none other than Sylvester McCoy, the Seventh Doctor himself. Once the temporal dust settles, Sophie and Sylv settle into the Sofa of Infinite Understanding for a conversation spanning career, chaos, and the curious corners of the Whoniverse.

But the adventure doesn’t end there! Every episode journeys into the Ffantaface—the sprawling, shimmering reservoir of collective fan knowledge. Guarding the gateway is Mrs C, Sophie’s Cockney goldfish, who swims in telepathic water from the moon of Helixotrix Minor and ensures no-one approaches the interface uninvited (or unscolded).

Together, Sophie and Mrs C dive deep into fandom’s memories, mysteries, and marvels and encounter Big Finish writer extraordinaire Ali Winter.

Meanwhile, other questions linger aboard the ship, not least the unnerving presence of The Door We Can’t Open! What lies behind it?

Some secrets may have to wait until the Time Scoop is feeling cooperative…

Black Friday! (2021)

It's the dreaded Black Friday at We Love Toys and the work force are not looking forward to the hordes of shoppers about to pour in, seeking those "once in a lifetime" bargains.

However, what makes matters worse this year is a meteor shower bringing an alien virus that turns the infected into hideous, angry, monsters seeking to both 'spread the love' and construct a 'nest' for each of the initial meteors to achieve their "final form".

Black Friday! is a fun blend of rage zombie horror, Lovecraftian alien invasion, kaiju action, The Blob, Clerks, and old Quatermass movies.

Leaning into its weird fiction inspirations not everything mentioned in the story is explained, adding to the occasionally unnerving strangeness of what the extra-terrestrial entities are up to and what their ultimate objective may be.

There's plenty of body horror in Black Friday!, with the practical make-up effects on the transformed infected being particularly striking as they evolve into piranha-toothed ghouls, oddly reminiscent of the beast in The Unnameable duology 

Written by Andy Greskoviak and directed by Casey Tebo, the 84-minute flick is a runaway train that doesn't hang around, getting to the meat of its set-up almost immediately and not wasting any time establishing deep backstories for the central characters (these are filled in during the unfolding chaos).

While the film is a satire of corporate America, it is  primarily an apocalyptic splatterfest romp that doesn't take itself at all seriously.

If you're looking for a "people trapped in a store during the end of the world" film, but aren't in the mood for the heart-breaking buzzkill of The Mist, then you could do worse than check out the more light-hearted Black Friday!

Bruce Campbell is in there as the store manager, playing a bigger role than I expected but still a supporting character, while the leads are Final Destination/Chucky's Devon Sawa, Super 8's Ryan Lee, and Pan's Labyrinth's Ivana Baquero, as three undervalued workers in the soulless toy store.

Other familiar faces that pop up include Michael Jai White, while Seth Green provides the voice of a malfunctioning animatronic bear (who might just be a parody of Ted).

THROWBACK THURSDAY: My Introduction To Dungeons & Dragons

When I was about 10 or 11, Steven Grover, the teenage son of one of my mum's best friends, introduced me to Dungeons & Dragons. Mum's friend was a headteacher and Steve was MENSA-smart and well-read.

He had previously introduced me to the works of Tolkien (namely, The Hobbit and Lord Of The Rings) and from there it was an easy segue into Dungeons & Dragons.

Being the UK in the late '70s, it was the blue-covered Eric Holmes' edited edition of Dungeons & Dragons we played.

The first character I made at home was a fighter called Sinbad (he killed - some say 'murdered' - a couple of dwarves in a drunken tavern brawl, changed his name to Bassin and fled to sea), but the earliest I still have any record of is Gordok Mantor, the first character that I used for a game outside my own home (or Gublin's house), back in either late 1978 or early 1979.

Gordok was created for use at The Dark Tower - Tunbridge Wells' first (and only) dedicated role-playing game shop and club.

Although Steven had taught me the basics of Dungeons & Dragons before I ventured into The Dark Tower, that was the haven of geekiness that really fuelled my early love of this hobby.

Gordok failed to survive his first visit to The Dark Tower gaming club, as my first level, Lawful Good magic-user somehow managed to get involved in an expedition to Tegel Manor, the massive haunted house module put out by Judge's Guild in 1977.

There was none of this "balanced encounters" malarkey you get in newer editions of D&D, Gordok was there to make up the numbers and, maybe, make a name for himself.

He didn't. Instead he got zapped by a trap and  died by rapidly ageing 50 years.

All his worldly goods (well, 95% of them) went to his nephew Glop, son of Gordok's brother Sam.

This was during my early Tolkien phase and I was really enthralled by all the family trees in the back of The Return Of The King.

So, in these halcyon days of gaming geekery, pretty much all my characters had family trees and many of them were related.

Glop The Grand fared slightly better (despite his awful name), but I didn't keep a record of where he adventured. He was a neutral cleric with a "sword of dexterity".

Despite his 18 Dexterity (magically enhanced I suspect from my scribbles) and his plate mail armour, he was killed by an ogre - with no descendants to bequeath his treasures to.

Looking at Gordok and Glop's character sheets, this was certainly still the Eric Holmes edition of Dungeons & Dragons we were playing (although I suspect elements of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons were rapidly creeping in), even if there are some unexplained oddities like Gordok appearing to have two spells at first level and Glop, a cleric, wielding a magic sword.

Of course, I was only 12 at the time.

The Last Voyage of The Demeter (2023)

If you know Bram Stoker's Dracula, then you know The Last Voyage of The Demeter.

Inspired by the book's single chapter that details the captain's log of the doomed voyage from Bulgaria to England, Bragi Schut Jr. and Zak Olkewicz's script, directed by Trollhunter's André Øvredal, extrapolates those few pages into a near-perfect 119-minute 'spam in a cabin' horror flick.

It's July 1897 and the merchant ship Demeter is carrying cargo bound for London, including - unknowingly - a number of boxes of Transylvanian soil and one holding the sleeping body of the vampire lord, Count Dracula (Javier Botet).

Once the ship is at sea, with the crew eager to get to England quickly to earn some bonus pay, the deaths begin.

First the livestock, which was to be the crew's food for their journey, is mysteriously butchered.

Then the crew start being killed off.

The Last Voyage of The Demeter is Alien on a nautical vessel rather than a space vessel, the ship's small crew trapped at sea, being hunted by a supernatural killing machine that dines on them as they bring him closer to his desired destination: the fresh feeding grounds of Victorian England.

Kong: Skull Island's Corey Hawkins is the new ships doctor, Clemens, a man of science to counter the superstitious crew, headed by the ever-excellent Liam Cunningham (aka Game of Thrones' Davos Seaworth, another sailor of note) as Captain Eliot: an almost unrecognisable David Dastmalchian as Wojchek, the quartermaster; and Jon Jon Briones (the genie from Sinbad; The Fifth Voyage) as Joseph, the highly religious ship's cook.

A young Romani stowaway, Anna (Aisling Franciosi) is found when one of the boxes of soil is accidentally opened by rough seas, and we later realise that she was Dracula's packed lunch for the voyage.

Captain "this is my last voyage, I'm going to retire" Eliot even has his eight-year-old grandson, Toby (Woody Norman), along with him and if you think "oh, they wouldn't hurt a child" you clearly haven't been paying attention.

The fate of the Demeter and its crew is inevitable, a foregone conclusion set down in the text of Stoker's game-changing vampire opus.

But that doesn't stop The Last Voyage of The Demeter being nail-bitingly tense and claustrophobic, with several good jump scares, oozing atmosphere from every frame, and featuring a genuinely monstrous depiction of Dracula.

The vampire is no suave British character actor, instead starting a gaunt, grey ghoul and evolving through the film into a giant, Nosferatuesque bat-creature, unsentimental in its brutal slayings.

What adds to the terror is the realisation - to a modern audience - that these people have no idea what a vampire is or how to kill it, they don't know its powers and weaknesses and there is no spoonfeeding of exposition to give them a clue.

All Clemens learns from Anna is that the beast is Dracula, it drinks blood and has kept her people in servitude through fear of its wrath.

Unfortunately, The Last Voyage of The Demeter falls down in its denouement, at the very last moments when it suddenly decides to try and give the tale a pointless "feel good/Hollywood" ending, when the source material's nihilistic resolution would have had a more lasting impact.

BOOK REVIEW: In The Mouth of Madness (Sutter Cane)

John Carpenter's cosmic horror magnum opus In The Mouth of Madness came out in 1995 and almost immediately devotees were calling it the greatest Lovecraftian movie that's not based on an HP Lovecraft story.

I don't know when I first saw it, but it was almost certainly the Lovecraft vibe that drew me to it and I was immediately smitten.

In The Mouth of Madness is quite possibly my all-time favourite horror movie.

At its heart, the story concerns a hunt by insurance investigator John Trent (Sam Neill) for a missing best-selling horror author, Sutter Cane (Jürgen Prochnow), and his much sought-after final manuscript, In The Mouth of Madness.

Fans have long demanded a novelisation of the movie - which in a turn of mindbending metafiction is the novel that forms the heart of the film - and finally this year it came to pass.

Published by Echo On Publications, the novel of In The Mouth of Madness fully embraces its cinematic provenance, being authored by the fictional Sutter Cane (actually Christian Francis) and "published" by Arcane (the publisher of Sutter Cane's work in the film). It even uses the front cover artwork shown on the book when it's onscreen.

But, sadly, there my fanboyish excitement ends.

For the most part this is a very pedestrian adaptation, only really grabbing the reader in the final act when it seeks to expand the world we know from the film.

Sutter Kane is a contemporary reimagining of HP Lovecraft - in a world where his Great Old Ones were actually real - with a heavy dose of Stephen King mixed in for good measure, so I had high expectations for this book (fuelled by the several decades' wait for it to be announced).

Yet, given that - in-universe - this is supposedly a book written by an author who outsells Stephen King tenfold, it instead reads in large part like fan-fiction.

Was this actually a hurriedly released unedited first (or early) draft? 

That might explain the most frustrating thing about the novel, which can't entirely be blamed on the author (unless this was self-published and he was expected to edit it himself). 

The text is riddled with typos and missing words, which isn't a dealbreaker but is immensely frustrating for a professionally published book.

The name of Cane's publisher, Jackson Harglow (played by Charlton Heston the film) changes spelling several times within a few pages, for instance, and there are even TWO inexcusable typos in the blurb on the back cover of the dust jacket.

Did nobody proof this?

On the other hand, there are some delightful additions to the story - such as interjections in the text, often directed at the reader, from Cane himself.

Another interesting inclusion was the discussion between Trent and Cane's editor Linda Styles over Cane’s approach to writing.

For the most part the book sticks to the film script, but there are some minor tweaks to the narrative, alternative takes as it were, and one major element slipped in that, as far as I was aware from multiple viewings of the film, adds a whole new level of existential horror to the story.

Sutter Cane's In The Mouth of Madness is at its best when it captures the cosmic horror of the movie, but ultimately serves primarily as a novelty artefact to sit on your shelf and spark conversation with those 'in the know'.

It certainly isn't the Lovecraftian/Stephen King assault on sanity that we'd all been waiting for.

If Adventure Has A Name, It Must Be The Tuesday Knights

On and off, the Tuesday Knights (my gaming group) has been playing Pete's period pulp action campaign for 32 sessions over three years. He likes to keep things fresh by switching the rules system for every story arc.

We started in the 1950's, fighting zombies and giant monsters - even travelling to an alien world at one point - using GURPS Atomic Horror, then we slipped through a portal to the 1930's for an extended Hollow Earth Expedition-fuelled hike from New York to Antarctica, punching villains in the face along the way, and finally being drawn into some Lovecraftian cosmic horror shenanigans that were a delicious blend of John Carpenter's The Thing and old HPL's At The Mountains of Madness.

That adventure culminated with my character Buck Hansen, a world-weary big game hunter and explorer, managing to blow up - rather impressively - a newly-risen ancient god.

The other members of the team are Kevin as former G-man Dick Tate, Mark as daredevil aviatrix Onyx Jones (he took over Erica's character when she left the group), and Clare as photojournalist Freya Larson.

For the next stage of the campaign - which is scheduled to begin in December (all being well) - Pete is turning to Outgunned Adventures, a standalone spin-off of the popular Outgunned system from Two Little Mice.

I think we're staying in the 1930's for the moment, but hopefully there will be an in-game explanation for the subtle changes in our characters (and the new rules mechanics).

The other night Pete came round to talk through the new game with me and seek my assistance in roughing out conversions of the characters from HEX to Outgunned.

I was extremely flattered by this, especially given that my recent attempts to get a campaign going (a Shadowdark game that lasted one session and a Villains & Vigilantes one that lasted three sessions) both fizzled out in most depressing manners.

The Outgunned Adventures rules book is gorgeous, both in its layout and art, and full of homages to the Indiana Jones movies (particularly Raiders of The Lost Ark).

The game's core system seems elegantly straight-forward (but then again so did HEX - in theory - which turned into a confusing mess in play).

Tests in Outgunned are made with small dice pools of two to nine six-sided dice and you are looking to match numbers to score successes (e.g. roll 5d6 and threes come up on four of the dice, then that's four successes).

Although I'm still not a massive fan of dice pool mechanics, as I grow older and more befuddled I've come to really appreciate simplicity at the heart of my games (which was one of ways I went wrong with Villains & Vigilantes game).

Outgunned's dice pool mechanics are rather different than the HEX approach to generating successes, but hopefully the Tuesday Knights will latch on quickly.

Pete and I were able to find pre-generated templates that matched the characters in our little group, and then went through the personalisation process of picking out various traits and abilities that matched those that our characters had used in the earlier adventures.

Flicking through the book, I couldn't help but keep catching myself thinking "this looks really nice, perhaps I could use Outgunned to run something in a different setting".

Well, in the cold light of day, I don't know about that, but - while I'm taking a break from sitting behind the GM's screen - it's certainly got me thinking more positively about running a game again... at some point in the future. 

Indiana Jones much?

Philip Reeve Takes Us Back To The World of Mortal Engines

Philip Reeve, my favourite author, returns to his incredible World of Mortal Engines next February with Bridge of Storms, a sequel to the last year's fabulous Thunder City.

On a futuristic Earth prowled by mobile cities and airships:

Tamzin Pook and her group of unlikely fighters-turned-friends have managed to make it out of Thorbury alive. Now with a massive, terrifying, armoured, and un-dead Revenant (and its pet kitten) as one of their gang.

For their next mission, Tamzin and her friends head to the city of Museion to help save it from the ferocious predator suburbs that surround it and keep it trapped in the mountain valley known as the Frying Pan.

Here, Tamzin, Max Angmering, Oddington Doom, and Hilly Torpenhow are in for the toughest fight of their lives. But as they battle for the fate of Museion against the terrible predators that surround them, people on board Museion start to die one by one from a traitor within.

They've got to figure out an escape, but every direction looks like a trap.

Featuring an evocative Ian McQue cover, Bridge of Storms is due for publication, by Scholastic Press, on February 12.

On his blog, Station Zero, Philip has also revealed that a third book in this current series has already been written and will, hopefully, be published in 2027.

HEALTH UPDATE: Definite Progress Is Being Made

This is exactly what we do in Biscuit Club 😂

Image by Lorenzo Romero from Pixabay

While I still can't walk " properly" (which, for the last 20 years has been with a walking stick), I'm now pottering around the house much more easily - without the use of my more elaborate, newer, walking aids.

I can. for instance, get down the stairs pretty much how I used to, although getting up the stairs is still a struggle. But there's no more spider-crawls or scooching up and down on my fat arse, so that's a massive improvement.

I've even resumed having showers, after a break of around four months because of my dangerous instability in the bathroom. This is a major breakthrough in my return to "normality".

Now, I just have to venture out the house without my "wheels", to test my endurance and balance in the wild.

There has been a major uptick in my progress over the last two or three weeks. Clearly Biscuit Club (my weekly strength, posture and stability class, which always ends with a drink and some biscuits) is paying off. I'd still be a slithering Jabba The Hutt without it, I'm sure.

Don't get me wrong, the pain in my back remains and, occasionally, in my legs, but on the whole I'm getting better at managing it. 

I also had a surprisingly positive appointment with my GP about my blood pressure, and she has adjusted  my medication accordingly. Rachel and I now have to keep an eye on my blood pressure to see if this change helps bring it down into the "safe zone".

I had my second meeting with the NHS physio this week, for a catch-up. He seemed very pleased with my progress and suggested a number of new exercises (quite a few of which, as I told him, I was already doing, courtesy of Biscuit Club) to build upon what I've achieved to date. 

Overall, everything seems to be wobbling in the right direction, which is a nice fillip as the days are getting shorter. Christmas is coming and it'll soon to be time to get out and about to peruse the seasonal lighting displays up and down our road.

Still waiting to hear about steroid injections for my osteoarthritis. 

Birthday Bonus Trailer for The Timeless Doctors

There are fan films, then there are fan films, and then there is The Timeless Doctors.

Of this forthcoming epic, due for release next year, creator Stuart "BabelColour" Humphryes says:

"It cleverly weaves archive film with newly created special effects, modelwork and voice acting to produce a spectacular new adventure in time and space. Augmented with a bespoke musical score and specially filmed inserts, with cutting edge CGI and the appearance of very special guest artists, this is a fan venture like no other!"

Celebrating Doctor Who's 62nd anniversary with the release of a new, bonus, trailer Stuart adds:

"To celebrate Doctor Who Day today (23rd November), I share a bonus trailer for the 'Timeless Doctors' fan-film. This trailer takes us back to Old Gallifrey, to the days of the Doctor's childhood and much, much further - through the millennia to the Dark Time and the Age of Rassilon, when Omega detonated stars, the Great Vampires stalked the universe and the fledgling Time Lords invented living metals to protect their world. "

This is next-level fandom, supported by many with direct connections to the production of Doctor Who - both Classic and Modern - and a phenomenal pool of talent.

Check out an earlier trailer below and make sure you subscribe to BabelColour's Doctor Who YouTube Channel and/or The Timeless Doctors Bluesky feed for further developments.

HAPPY 62nd BIRTHDAY TO DOCTOR WHO!!!

On the evening of November 23, 1963, the BBC aired An Unearthly Child, the very first episode of Doctor Who... and history was made.

Back in 2009, I convinced Rachel to watch this episode "to gauge her opinion of what I regard as one of the single, finest episodes of science-fiction ever screened". 

Here's what I wrote at the time (with some mathematical adjustments): 

I'm pleased to report that she enjoyed it; her only problems were the graininess of the image (well, it was filmed in 1963) and she couldn't accept Susan (Carole Ann Ford) as a 15-year-old. Rachel said: "She looked more like 30!"

Could anyone have imagined, when this episode was first screened [62] years ago, the infinite possibilities for storytelling that were being opened up?

Kicking off with a pitch-perfect first episode helped Doctor Who hit the ground running, dropping hints about the mysterious genius schoolgirl, Susan, and her enigmatic Grandfather (William Hartnell) and posing many questions that - to this day - remain unanswered!

Coal Hill School teachers Ian Chesterton (William Russell) and Barbara Wright (Jacqueline Hill), teachers of science and history respectively (the two subjects the series was initially most interested in), want to find out more about their star pupil and head to the address the school has for her.

It turns out to be a junkyard where they meet a strange, white-haired old man (The Doctor) who tries to drive them off and stop them poking around an old police box (where Ian thinks the man might be holding Susan prisoner!).

Instead Susan opens the door of the police box and the teachers walk in... to find themselves in the control room of the TARDIS... and nothing will ever be the same again, either for them or for the viewers.

How mind-blowing must it have been in 1963 to watch these people step through the doors of a 'normal' police box and find themselves in the vast, hi-tech expanse of a space and time ship?

William Hartnell's Doctor, at this stage, is still rather irascible and certainly doesn't appreciate the interference of two busybody teachers into his time on Earth (fixing the TARDIS and, we discover many years later, dealing with the Hand Of Omega).

Hence, his rather impetuous way of keeping his and Susan's secret - transporting the TARDIS away randomly, taking Ian and Barbara with them!

The TARDIS clearly isn't fully repaired as its first televised journey manages to knock Ian and Barbara unconscious and The Doctor and Susan appear rather strained by it as well.

They have travelled back to Earth's Stone Age and that is a story (called variously The Tribe Of Gum, 100,000BC, The Stone Age, The Cavemen etc) which I've always, rather cheekily, considered its own entity. I feel An Unearthly Child suffers if lumped in with this subsequent, less-than-enthralling adventure.

Of course, the main thing is that Rachel didn't fall asleep or wander off while An Unearthly Child was playing and allowed me to explain to her why this one episode is so important - because without it we wouldn't have over [60] years of Doctor Who and all the books, CDs, magazines, action figures etc

The TV listing in November 23's issue of the Daily Mirror.
NB. The actual broadcast was slightly delayed because of
the assassination of President Kennedy the day before.

To mark the Doctor's anniversary - which really should be a national holiday - here are a small selection of special online episodes from the show:

And this fan documentary looks at the return of Doctor Who after its extended hiatus through the "dark times":

The Birth of Cinematic Science Fiction

We’re going back more than a century to the very beginning of science fiction on film. Between 1898 and 1909, filmmakers were already imagining space travel, invisible men, and electric machines that could think for themselves. This video collects eight of the earliest sci-fi films ever made. Short, strange, and full of early cinematic magic.

Archie Gets Groovy Facing The Army of Darkness

Robert Hack cover art for Archie X The Army of Darkness,
from Dynamite and Archie Comics

Clearly February is the month for crazy comic book crossovers. Following the exciting announcement of the Fantastic Four landing on The Planet of The Apes, it's now come to my attention that a certain Ash Williams (of Evil Dead/Army of Darkness fame) is paying a visit to Riverdale - to save Archie and his crew from a soul-sucking horde of zombie deadites!

There’s a certain man – name’s Ash, you may have heard of him – who is doomed to battle against the forces of evil, over and over again, whether he likes it or not. No matter where he goes, the cycle of violence always repeats itself – until the day that he arrives in the picturesque town of Riverdale.

This supernaturally wholesome community seems to break the curse that has plagued Ash ever since he first encountered its otherworldly evil all those years ago. Or rather, the curse was broken – until an over-curious teenager named Archie finds a copy of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis and reads a portion of it aloud, summoning the horrifying Deadites once again!

Now Ash and the good townsfolk of Riverdale must hold back the undead hordes long enough for Archie to undo what he’s unwittingly done. Otherwise, an Army of Darkness will roll over Riverdale and destroy everything and everyone in its path – and that’s just not going to happen on Ashley J. Williams’s watch!

Fresh-faced author Erik Burnham (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters) joins wide-eyed artist Bill Galvan (Archie, Guardians of the Galaxy) for a long night’s journey into mayhem with Archie X Army of Darkness #1!

Burnham's run on Ghostbusters was superb, so I have high hopes for this melding of two very different humorous franchises when the first issue arrives in stores in February.

Featuring clean-cut covers from Galvan, Robert Hack, Laura Braga, Craig Cermak, and Stuart Sayger , this premier issue also boasts a special Premium Mystery Blind Bag that contains three limited editions of the issue selected randomly from a range of variant covers exclusive to this offering – including two original covers by Galvan and Francesco Francavilla, as well as multiple line art variants and coloured blanks. Please Note: The number of Blind Bags is limited, and allocations may occur.

It's Clobberin' Time On The Planet of The Apes

Main cover art for issue one by Greg Land

Considering Marvel's historic connection with the Planet of The Apes franchise, since it regained the license in 2022 it feels as though it has done very little with it.

But that's all about to change. The last Ape-centric title Marvel gave us was the underwhelming Beware The Planet of The Apes, back in mid-2024, but next February the publisher brings its First Family into conflict with simian-kind with the mini-series Planet of The Apes versus Fantastic Four.

The four-part serial is written by Josh Trujillo with art from Andrea Di Vito and Erick Arciniega.

In a first for this combination of popular franchises, the Fantastic Four arrive on the Planet of the Apes:

"Witness history as the Fantastic Four cross paths for the very first time with Cornelius, Zira, Ursus – and of course Dr. Zaius! But they won't be going alone! Familiar foes from the Marvel Universe have set their sights on Ape City, setting the stage for a battle royale that fans won't soon forget!"

While not the most enticing or original plot hook, this book is still the first, official, chance to see such a mix of beloved characters all in one place.

Interior artwork from Planet of The Apes versus Fantastic Four

PROJECT 60: What Does The Future Hold?

As I race towards my sixtieth birthday next year, I can't help feeling that it's time I got my "collecting" hobbies under control before I end up on an episode of Hoarders or Rachel finds me buried under a collapsed pile of books, comics, and blu-rays!

I've already mentioned that my life-long love affair with roleplaying games is dwindling, thanks to the dawning realisation that I'm never going to run a "forever campaign" that comes close to my hopes and dreams.

I still want to keep playing, and won't - and can't - stop thinking about RPGs, but the constant need to be working on 'my next great roleplaying project' has definitely eased off. 

Picture, if you can, the amount of space I could create in our house if I sold off all the games (and supplements) that I own but which I'll never read or revisit.

That's going to take a lot of effort to do properly, but it might generate a decent sum of money to bulk up my ever-shrinking bank account.

On the other hand, I'm currently thinking of burying myself in Cubicle 7's Doctor Who RPG, just not with any expectation of running it (it's simply not a game I could imagine my group, The Tuesday Knights, taking to).

However, I quite fancy the idea of creating Whoniverse scenarios, settings, gadgets, aliens etc to share with the readers of this blog.

If I were to return to running a campaign, with any chance of it surviving more than three or four sessions, it would almost certainly embrace the simplicity of old school Dungeons & Dragons-style gaming. As I did many years ago with the Tuesday Knight's three-year Heroes & Other Worlds campaign.

Honestly, I'd just really love to run a hardcore dungeoncrawl at some point. Just not now.

For reasons of both space and finances, I also need to trim my comic book pull-list from its current 25 titles a month down to something more manageable.

Part of my problem has been that my osteoarthritis has made me feel so uncomfortable that concentrating on reading (and finding a good position to do so) has led to a four or five month backlog of unread comics.

Some, I fear, will have to remain unread if I ever want to get back up-to-date.

Going forward, I'm thinking of streamlining my reading to: DC's Superman (and family); Marvel's Fantastic Four; and Titan's Howardverse titles (Conan The Barbarian, Savage Sword, Solomon Kane etc)

There'll be a few odds and ends in there as well: such as Dynamite's "occasional" Fire and Ice.

I've also heard a rumour that the long-delayed Afterlife With Archie (the greatest unfinished zombie comic book saga of all time) might have finally - after a 10 year hiatus - clawed its way out of the grave to resume its run, but I'll only believe it once that new issue is in my hands.

Of course, on top of all this, there's still my monthly Judge Dredd Megazine subscription and odd runs of 2000AD (I'm still undecided on whether to wean myself off the latter or take out a subscription to sit parallel with my Megazine one).

So, that's still a lot of comics each month, but - as long as I can catch up - it feels like it'll be easier to keep on top of.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: How Many 50-Year-Olds Have Superhero-Themed Birthday Parties? Not Enough

The 'Must-Eat League': from left - Richard, Erica, Paul, Jeni, Pete, Me, Nick, and Clare...

The month of celebrations for my half-century (in 2016) came to an end with a superhero-themed meal at the Oriental Buffet in Tonbridge, with a loose comic book-inspired dress code.

You can't really go wrong with an all-you-can-eat dining experience, accentuated by a selection of T-shirts and outfits that ran the gamut from Richard's Batman shirt (he wore the plastic Bat-mask for 90 per cent of the evening as well, which was true dedication to the theme) to Jeni's She-ra costume (complete with gauntlets and headgear) and Rachel's bespoke Marvel comic book dress.

As well as having decorated our table ahead of time with appropriate balloons (several of which also survived the journey home afterwards), my wonderful wife still had one gobsmacking surprise up her sleeve: the best birthday cake ever!

Based on Des Taylor's design from my main birthday present, it was the scumptious, double-decker cake you can see below (created by a local cake aficionado), complete with Acrobatic Flea, Flash, and Supergirl decorations:

BEST. CAKE. EVER!

BEST. WIFE. EVER!

Special mention has to be made of how Paul turned up at our door, before we went to the restaurant. The doorbell rang, and I opened the door to be greeted by The Black Power Ranger!

Apparently he'd changed into his superhero alter ego outside our house (although I still suspect he'd travelled down from London on the train like this, only he'd used super-ninja skills to blend in with the crowd).

Sadly, the costume was too uncomfortable - and totally impractical - for going to a restaurant in. But major kudos for borrowing this outfit and throwing himself into the spirit of the evening!

What Is Seen Cannot Be Unseen: Alice has no clue as to what is happening at this point!

Pennywise Shows His Hand In Welcome to Derry

The Portable Door (2023)

Desperate for a job to cover his rent, bumbling Paul Carpenter (Patrick Gibson) - through a series of unlikely coincidences - stumbles into an interview at London's mysterious J.W. Wells and Co.

Somehow acing the interview, he and fellow interviewee, Sophie Pettingel (Sophie Wilde), are taken on as interns.

It is only then that they truly discover what the company does: magically shift reality to create beneficial coincidences for their clients.

Paul, it seems, has a gift for "divining", which company CEO Humphrey Wells (Christoph Waltz) seeks to use to find his missing "portable door" (which turns out to be a brilliant magical device capable of opening portals to anywhere the user desires).

However, there are forces within the company seeming set upon blocking Paul's progress.

Overall, The Portable Door is a fun, fantasy adventure, with an amazing cast of distinguished actors, such as Sam Neill and Miranda Otto, bringing their A-games to a variety of supporting roles.

Based, apparently, on the first in a series of books by Tom Holt, the twists and misdirections in Leon Ford's script (directed by Jeffrey Walker) are impressively orchestrated, if occasionally obvious.

However, while I'm all in favour of weirdness and inexplicable goings-on in my films, for what is essentially a "young adult" story there's a bit too much obfuscation and confusion in the narrative, hindered by the common problem that a lot of the action takes place in poorly lit environments.

There is also the issue of the story's obvious comparisons to the Harry Potter franchise, with JW Wells feeling like a corporate Hogwarts - with a dash of Warehouse 13 craziness thrown in for good measure.

Paul is a Harry/Ron surrogate, the gifted Sophie is a Hermione, Sam Neill's hostile Dennis Tanner is Snape, Miranda Otto (drawing upon her Zelda Spellman from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) as Countess Judy is Professor McGonagall etc

The way the story employs supernatural goblins is also an obvious similarity (not that JK Rowling has a copyright on "goblins", of course).

Nevertheless, for all the Potterisms on display, ultimately the world of The Portable Door remains intriguing and full of possibilities.

Running for almost two hours, the film doesn't drag, but could also do with tightening its belt a bit. It certainly doesn't need to be that long.

I've never heard of Tom Holt's J.W. Wells & Co. book series, and this didn't make me want to rush out and read them but I'd certainly be interested in seeing further adaptations in this "corporate magic" style of adventure.

Another Magnificent Birthday Celebration Under My Tightening Belt

The biggest afternoon tea Rachel and I have ever seen

Last weekend, I marked my birthday with a level of food consumption that would have made Mr Creosote proud.

In my excitement, I fear I may have gotten a bit carried away. With the constraint of my current increased state of disability, my usual "going out and doing something active for the day" was put on hold, making way for a number of magnificent food-centric activities instead.

On Saturday, Rachel's parents took us - including Alice - for a meal at my favourite, nearby pub-restaurant, where I managed to consume a three-course Christmas meal. In the evening, watching Strictly in a borderline food coma, I could only manage a bowl of ice cream (I needed something to take some of my pills with).

Then on Sunday Rachel, Alice and I went to the wonderful Pup Cup (the dog café in Tonbridge High Street), where Rachel had prebooked us afternoon tea for two.

It turned out to be the biggest (and most delicious) afternoon tea either of us had ever seen (see picture above), and we ended up having to take a few top tier cakes away in a "doggie bag" for later.

The evening was rounded off with a KFC, although I suspect that might have been a "wafer thin mint" too far 😂

My weekend of excess ended up with me not feeling particularly chipper in the middle of Sunday night and fearing I might explode. However, I got back to sleep and felt a lot better by Monday morning.

This week I've been halving my daily portions of breakfast toast, snacks etc

Haven't even started my birthday cake yet!

Family meal on Saturday

Dog-themed t-shirts for dog-themed café

Downing my favourite strawberry milkshake

Alice always loves The Pup Cup for the attention she gets 

Presents waiting for me on my birthday morning

Wonderful presents from Rachel

Rachel turned me into a Funko Pop!

Pop! me comes holding a comic book and a pizza box - seems about right!

Amazing presents from Rachel's parents