"Lovely People Doing Lovely Things!"

The Strictly judges practicing with their '10' paddles for tonight's final

It's only mildly hyperbolic to say that this millennium's Twenties aren't so much "roaring" as "screaming and sobbing".

Nevertheless,  I've still managed to find solace in my oldest friend: television.

Not just from the brilliance of my usual high-quality geeky escapist fare, across multiple channels and streaming platforms, but in the unexpected genre of "reality television".

More specifically from two shows I've always enjoyed, but have recently found to be the pick-me-up I needed.

I'm talking about The Great British Bake Off and Strictly Come Dancing.

Two shows that, at their core, are about lovely people doing lovely things.

"Life-affirming viewing," as my old friend Pete says.

We choose to gloss over the Strictly blip the other year when the mask (allegedly) slipped on a couple of the pro's harsh teaching methods.

You just have to contrast this pair of delightful shows with ITV's offering of family-friendly torture porn in the shape of I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here to realise why Bake Off and Strictly are precisely what the country - if not the world - needs right now.

Shows that thrive on negativity (such as I'm A Celebrity) need to be consigned to the dustbin of televisual history, along with shows looking to mimic the 'gotcha' shock of The Jeremy Kyle Show and the heavily orchestrated 'reality' of talent shows following in the soiled footsteps of The X-Factor.

Both Strictly and Bake Off are good natured shows about striving for excellence, with friendly camaraderie and sportsmanship, devoid of any sense of degradation or humiliation in the process.

Everyone who takes part in these shows seems to be a genuinely pleasant person, whether a celeb on Strictly or a member of the public on Bake Off.

Honestly, I can only think of one contestant in all the years Rachel and I have watched Strictly that I wouldn't enjoy bumping into at a party... barking mad, right-wing loony Ann Widdecombe.

But her inclusion in the 2010 line-up feels like an aberration. 

I'm not saying that 2025 is going to be much better than last year, but it certainly wouldn't hurt the mood of the country to have more television programmes that follow the encouraging recipe of these two very British staples of light entertainment.

The Class of '24: This year's Great British Bake Off contestants

THROWBACK THURSDAY: I'm Approved By Casually Comics!

I don't often mention new T-shirt purchases - beyond the fact that my family believes I have too many -  but I'm particularly proud of this one that I got back in 2021 (see above), from the first line of merch produced to support my favourite YouTube channel, Casually Comics. 

"Approved By Casually Comics" is a parody of the old Comics Code Authority logo once seen on the covers of mainstream comic books in the wake of the whole Fredric Wertham Seduction of the Innocent nonsense of the 1950s.

The Casually Comics line of branded t-shirts, mugs, glasses, hoodies, stickers etc can be found here.

Hosted by Canadian Sasha Wood, Casually Comics brilliantly balances insight and a deep knowledge of the comic book medium with a wry, self-deprecating, sense of humour and a welcome acknowledgement that all elements of fandom are valid.

In a portfolio of videos ranging from around 10 minutes to half an hour, with a new one dropping every few days, Sasha dives headfirst into old comics as well as new, following her whims more often than worrying about the latest 'hot topic'.

Demonstrating a particular love - which I share - for the more quirky aspects of superhero comics, Sasha compiles wonderful 'playlists' of themed videos on such topics as the many weddings of Lois Lane, the different iterations of Clayface, crossovers etc

All of Us Are Dead (2022)

From Train to Busan to Kingdom, and now the 12-part Netflix serial All of Us Are Dead, it seems Korea is the place to go for the best live-action zombie offerings.

Spiralling out of a grief-stricken father's attempts to protect his son from school bullies, this current iteration of the zombie apocalypse begins in the science lab of Hyosan High School and then spreads rapidly, exponentially, out into the surrounding city.

Although the series checks in on a variety of characters throughout its story, the main focus is on two groups of students trapped within the corridors and classrooms of the school by the sudden appearance of large numbers of flesh-gnawing zombies.

And these are fast, nearly-indestructible, zombies - seemingly without the standard "one blow to the head" weakness of many similar TV or movie undead.

Writer Seong-il Cheon does an amazing job of drawing out the tension of every scenario, with the students methodically coming up with a variety of schemes almost in real time, and not all of them working.

This can also make it feel quite slow on occasion, especially when you're reading sub-titles, but the investment is worth it because it makes the characters more rounded and believable, their grief more personal, and their victories more meaningful. 

In truth, the slowest episode is the first, as it takes almost 50 minutes to get to the meat of the story, taking its time to set up the main personalities whose fates we will be drawn into through the run of the show.

[Just check out the list of students, staff, and other characters on the show's Wikipedia page to fully appreciate the ensemble nature of All of Us Are Dead].

Once your mind adapts to the Korean social mores (such as bowing, an expected reverence for your elders etc), you can really appreciate the poetry of Seong-il Cheon's dialogue, whether dealing with horror or heartache, survivor guilt, or the harsh reality of the apocalyptic situation et al.

Even beyond the fact that everyone calls zombies 'zombies' - and the kid's are clearly terrified and prone to swearing (as you probably would under these circumstances) - there's an air of Truth and verisimilitude to All of Us Are Dead that is often lacking from Western takes on the genre.

I don't want to knock The Walking Dead, because that long-running show has had its high points and appears to be going out with some of its strongest episodes for many years.

However, there's more conviction and impactful emotion in these 12 episodes of All of Us Are Dead than in all the series of that granddaddy of long-form zombie drama, bar, possibly, the legendary The Grove episode (with the whole "look at the flowers" incident).

While obviously many of these characters in All of Us Are Dead lean towards heroic archetypes for narrative purposes, they are also all flawed to some degree or another, slipping and stumbling when they run, getting distracted by their crushes, bearing grudges etc

The story also does a great job of frequently wrong-footing its audience, where characters you are convinced have a degree of plot protection find themselves on the receiving end of an infectious bite.

Gwi-nam (Yoo In-soo), the relentless
hambie that pursues our heroes

All of Us Are Dead introduces us to the idea of "hambies": a certain, small percentage, of the population who, when bitten, become 'asymptomatic', seemingly immortal, half-zombies, retaining their human intelligence, but suffering from the zombie craving for flesh.

Their lives then become a constant struggle against their cannibalistic nature, and whether they can resist it and remain 'human' or give in and become 'zombie'. 

This is not a series for the faint of heart as, as with all the best zombie shockers, there's a lot of gore, but the most disturbing parts come in the early episodes when we see shocking student-on-student bullying, both physical and psychological.

As horrific as this is, it all plays into the overarching storyline, so can't be construed as gratuitous. 

Not only is the zombie virus clearly a metaphor for the Covid-19 pandemic, but also the effects of such mental diseases as Alzheimer's, while the show itself is simultaneously about the conflict - particularly around trust issues - between teenagers and adults.

Beautifully written, stunning well-acted, All of Us Are Dead is an amazing dusting-off of a genre that occasionally creaks under the weight of its own clichés. 

The show's ending was so artistically perfect that, as much as I am emotionally invested in the fates of these characters, I hope that there's no attempt to continue the story in a second season. 

All of Us Are Dead works magnificently as it is, as a standalone piece of horror fiction.

It definitely requires dedication from its audience, but the rewards are well worth it.

The Legend of The 7 Golden Vampires (1974)

In 1804, a wicked Chinese priest, Kah (Chan Sen), makes his way to Transylvania to ask Count Dracula (John Forbes-Robertson) to resurrect the "seven golden vampires" that Kah had previously employed to keep local peasants in order back home.

Dracula, however, has other ideas and steals Kah's physical form so that he can relocate to China and get back into the bloodsucking business for himself.

A century later and Professor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) is lecturing at China's Chungking University on the dangers of vampires, while also seeking aid and co-operation to investigate local legends of the undead.

He is met with derision from all but one of his audience, Hsi Ching (David Chiang), whose village has been almost destroyed by attacks from The Seven Golden Vampires.

Meanwhile, Van Helsing's son, Leyland (Robin Stewart), has befriended the forthright, wealthy and attractive European widow Vanessa Buren (Julie Ege), who has caught the eye of a local tong boss.

Vanessa agrees to finance Val Helsing's expedition to the isolated village, on the condition that she can join the party, and Ching introduces his seven kung-fu trained siblings who will provide protection on the journey.

Soon after setting out, the group is ambushed by tong thugs and Van Helsing gets his first taste of Chinese martial arts.

Later on, they make camp in a cave and find themselves under attack from several of the gold mask-adorned vampires and an army of skipping zombies.

From there, the next stop for our heroes is their besieged village, where they organise the remaining villagers into a defensive force and await the assault of the vampires and their legion of the undead.

One of the vampires kidnaps Leyland's girlfriend, Ching's sister Mai Kwei (Shih Szu), leading the surviving heroes to pursue him to Kah's temple, where Van Helsing discovers that Kah is actually his archenemy: Count Dracula.

After this final conflict, like a good many films of its era, the movie abruptly ends without showing any interest in exploring the high cost our heroes had to pay to get through the climactic confrontation between good and evil.

A joint production of Hammer Films and The Shaw Brothers, The Legend of The 7 Golden Vampires is surprisingly good for what it is, but could have been so much better.

From the moment they are introduced, the protagonists are stuck on a narrative railroad, travelling from point A to point B on a linear journey, broken up by impressive fight scenes... and culminating in a massive fight scene.

You get the impression that the Hammer crew were so delighted to be able to blend their tried-and-tested horror formula with Chinese martial arts that they couldn't really think of anything else to do with their Chinese cast or exotic scenery (it was shot on location).

While there's no denying the film is a lot of fun, there is so little to actual story that beyond its martial arts "gimmick" it is largely ephemeral. 

The golden vampires aren't even the classic Chinese jiangshi ('hopping vampires'), which would have brought something a bit unusual to a '70s Hammer flick, but are instead a strange mix of Western vampires and Eastern martial artists.

It also pays not to think too hard about the 100 year time jump from the prologue to the main story and the havoc that plays with Van Helsing's timeline if he's coming off the back of his (many) fights with Dracula in, and around, Transylvania.

Are we supposed to assume that Dracula was doing all this - and dying frequently - at the same time he was in China running The Cult of The Seven Golden Vampires?

Or is this a different Dracula? 

Although he is reduced to a largely supporting role, John Forbes-Robertson's take on Count Dracula is oddly camp, with his make-up bearing a more than passing resemblance to Cesar Romero's Joker in the Adam West Batman show.

Long out of print and pretty rare in these parts, I watched the 86 minute DVD version of The Legend of The 7 Golden Vampires, having finally tracked it down on eBay for a reasonable price, but I understand there's a 110 minute Eastern version that I'd love to see one day.

Ultimately, The Legend of The 7 Golden Vampires comes across as a massive missed opportunity.

TALES FROM THE VAULT: The Flash # 179 - Fact Or Fiction? (May, 1968)

A Silver Age classic, The Flash #179: Fact Or Fiction? from May 1968 is notable for being the first time DC Comics used the idea (although unnamed) of Earth-Prime (or 'our' Earth) as a destination for superheroes.

The Flash - Barry Allen - is having problems with an energy beast, The Nok, that has escaped from the spaceship of an alien beast-hunter (who'd landed on Earth to repair his ship).

The Nok appears to feed on Barry's "speed force" (again, it isn't called that) and ends up pushing The Flash to new velocities, which carry him to an alternate world: 'our' world, a world where his adventures are recorded in the pages of DC Comics and his secret identity is known by every small child!

People mistake him for a party-goer in fancy dress and he realises that the only person who will believe he is who he says he is is DC Comics Editor Julius Schwartz!

This is a wild story, from the mind of Cary Bates, as it had no precedent at the time. The only parallel world Barry (and the DC readers) knew of was Earth-2, where the Golden Age heroes hung out.

The Nok (pictured on the cover above), and the alien hunter, are rather bland Silver Age pulp sci-fi constructs, but the story itself really opened up a Multiverse of possibilities.

And, at the end of the tale, left Julius Schwartz with a working Cosmic Treadmill in his office! I wonder if that was ever revisted?

I picked up this landmark issue on eBay for the surprisingly low-cost of a couple of quid. It was just a random recommendation the site threw up for me and the cover caught my eye, so I Googled the story and couldn't believe this wasn't going for more.

It's not a perfect copy - but the listing made that clear  - but it was still a bargain for such a key story in the history of DC's Multiverse.

The comic  has since been framed and hangs in our lounge, with a selection of other books that are special to me.

It could well be the oldest, original comic I currently own (being only couple of years younger than me!)

Your Chance to Own Action Comics #1

Short a few million dollars to treat yourself to an original Action Comics #1 from 1938?

Never fear, DC has you covered: with its facsimile release of the issue heading to stores on April 16 (the 'new comic book day' before April 18 aka Superman Day, the anniversary of the original publication).

And this printing - which comes in the larger, old school, Golden Age format of comic book - will only set you back $9.99, and is part of the Summer of Superman initiative.

The Good, The Bad, The Weird (2008)

A self-styled "Oriental Western", The Good, The Bad, The Weird has to be required viewing for anyone interested in high adventure pulp action in the "Back Of Beyond".

A Korean movie set in 1930's Manchuria with three larger-than-life characters and one massive MacGuffin - a treasure map - leading to an epic chase across the desert, with some spectacular set-pieces and grand scale shoot-outs.

Lucky thief Tae-goo (Song Kang-ho) stumbles across the map while robbing a train, but psychopathic sadist Chang-yi (Lee Byung-hun), and his posse, is already after the map and ice cool bounty hunter Do-Won (Jung Woo-sung) is after Chang-yi - who he believes is a famous killer known as The Finger Chopper.

The rest of the film is pretty much one long chase, peppered with gunfights, martial arts, vehicle stunts etc

Two set-pieces stand out in particular, the fight around the "ghost market" (a town's black market area, which is patrolled by its own gang of thugs), which marks the half-way point of the film, and then the monumental "everybody chases Tae-goo" sequence which leads into the third act. This latter segment throws in a large detachment of the Japanese army and a gang of marauding bandits - each faction keen to get ahold of the map and find the treasure.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of these set-pieces, unlike many Hollywood blockbusters (e.g. the later Indiana Jones films, the Star Wars Prequels and The Pirates of The Caribbean sequels) is they don't look like video game levels, but genuine, old school, thrilling action with real actors, real props, real horses etc - not CGI!

As you may have guessed from the title, the film lifts a lot of ideas - and visuals - from classic Spaghetti Westerns - with the final three-way confrontation between our protagonists being the most obvious - but serves them up in a distinctly Oriental style.

Two hours is perhaps a bit too long for a movie with such a simple plot, but the constant action and subtle wit of the script make it thoroughly engrossing, so you don't notice the time.

The DVD comes with an alternate (Korean), extended ending which opens the doors to a possible sequel, although I actually found the ending as shown to be just as satisfying.

Smile 2 (2024)

It's no secret that the original Smile (from 2022) is one of my favourite creepy movies, for its genuine ability to get under my skin, so I had high hopes for the sequel, Smile 2, released on disc in the UK this week.

Sadly, the film isn't a particularly strong sequel as it mainly retreads a lot of the mythology created in the first movie, seemingly only choosing to build on it right at the last moment. And the suggested implications of this contradict what the established lore of the central demon's M.O. 

Personally, I would have liked a story that dug deeper into the backstory of the supernatural parasite at the heart of this franchise, rather than once again going over how it drives its victims insane and feeds off of them.

Picking up the story six days from the end of the first movie, the demonic "Smile" entity is passed on to drug dealer Lewis Fregoli (Lukas Gage).

Meanwhile, global pop sensation, Skye Riley (Naomi Scott) is preparing for a world tour, after a year recovering from a car crash that killed her boyfriend, actor Paul Hudson (Ray Nicholson), and severely injured her.

With a history of substance abuse, Skye finds it hard to obtain legal pain medication and so turns to her dealer... Lewis Fregoli.

Lewis is behaving very strangely when Skye arrives and eventually kills himself - in a particularly gruesome manner - right in front of her.

Soon after, Skye starts to have very vivid, and horrific, hallucinations and is seeing people with twisted smiles plastered across their faces.

While shocking and graphic in places, Smile 2 is slow to get going and I only found myself really getting drawn into the story at the mid-point of the two hour movie.

A lot of the shocks revolve around needles and broken glass, which is quite squirm-inducing, meaning Smile 2 feels more concerned with physical horror than the psychological horror of the first film.

There's a definite air of Emma Roberts around Naomi's portrayal of Skye, and our protagonist could easily have been any number of the self-absorbed, horrible characters that Roberts has played in the American Horror Story franchise. 

Skye isn't an easy character to get invested in, and therefore care about.

However, as she plunges deeper into her demon-fuelled psychosis, the film certainly becomes stronger, with one particularly impressive plot twist that reminded me of another of my favourite movies (although I can't say which as that will give the game away).

As Skye is a pop star - and the marketing for this movie brilliantly created a genuine online media presence for the character, from her own Instagram account to music videos - this means there's as much music in Smile 2 as the much maligned Joker: Folie à Deux.

Does this make Smile 2 a musical?

For my money, it's a fun, ultragory, horror tale that rehashes the mythology of its progenitor in a flashy new setting, but falls way short of Smile's unnerving originality.

Smile (2022)

After witnessing the shocking suicide of one of her patients, overworked therapist Dr Rose Cotter (Sosie Bacon) finds herself harassed by a demonic grinning entity that only she can see.

Inside the victim's head, the entity will wear the face of anyone (usually someone they know) and conjure up convincing hallucinations to mess with their grasp on reality.

Rose's life spirals out of control, and she eventually turns to her ex-boyfriend, a police detective called Joel (Kyle Gallner), the only person she meets through the entire 115 minute movie who comes even close to believing her story.

His research unearths a long chain of suicides where the sole witness of each has then killed themselves within a week.

However, there was a break in the chain; somehow imprisoned murderer Robert Talley (Rob Morgan) has escaped the demon's curse. But what he reveals to Rose throws up a whole new ethical problem.

Having lost the support of her fiancé Trevor (The Boys' Jessie T Usher), her family, and her own therapist, Dr Madeline Northcott (Deadwood's Robin Weigert), Rose's only hope is the sanctuary of her late mother's abandoned cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Written and directed by Parker Finn, Smile (now available on DVD and Blu-Ray in the UK) has set the ball rolling by the time the opening titles appear, then continues to ratchet up the terrifying tension until the mid-point of the film, where it switches into investigation mode.

There's a spell of about 20 or 30 minutes - where Rose is first coming under the influence of the smiling demon - that's so full of jump scares, fake outs, and pure horror that it makes Smile a truly intense, visceral experience.

We are Rose, unsure of what's going on and who she can trust.

By the third act, Smile has morphed into a more traditional monster movie and it's usually around this point, as it heads towards its denouement, that the wheels come off a lot of modern horror movies.

However, with some canny misdirection, and a laser-sharp focus on its protagonist, Smile stays the course.

By always sticking with Rose - rather than worrying about the supporting cast after they leave her orbit - the character's increasing sense of isolation becomes more real, heightening the fact that nobody believes her claims about being stalked by a supernatural creature.

The trailers - and brilliant marketing - for Smile had made it look intriguing, but I was genuinely surprised by how unnerving the film turned out to be.

Coupled with disorientating camera angles and an occasionally freakish soundscape that blends the diegetic and non-diegetic, Finn's direction is guaranteed to keep a willing audience member constantly off-balance.

While the ending may feel obvious, its inevitability underlines the horrific conceit at the heart of Smile.

New Miniseries Celebrates Lives and Times of Marvel's First Family

Cover art by Matteo Scalera

While DC is having its Summer of Superman to coincide with the new Superman movie, Marvel is aiming its spotlight on the Fantastic Four... who also happen to have a movie coming out in July.

Fantastic Four: First Steps welcomes the greatest superhero family in comics to the Marvel Cinematic Universe and ahead of that a celebratory new four-issue miniseries is being launched called Fantastic Four Fanfare.

"...while the team embark on captivating new adventures in Ryan North's current comic book run and play a pivotal role in the upcoming One World Under Doom event, fans can also look forward to timeless tales set across Fantastic Four history in Fantastic Four Fanfare... launching this April.

"Fantastic Four Fanfare invites some of the most influential FF storytellers, including Jonathan Hickman, Mark Waid, Dan Slott, Alan Davis, J. Michael Straczynski, Chip Zdarsky, Mike Allred, Mark Bagley and more, to tell new stories that capture the spirit and heart of the super hero team that started it all!

Each issue will spotlight a different member of the team in spectacular tales that are perfect for longtime fans and new readers alike.

"Here’s what to expect in the book’s inaugural outing:

• Mark Waid and Ramon Rosanas depict an escalating prank war between the Human Torch and the Thing!
• Alan Davis sends the team into hazards deep underground!
• Andrew Wheeler and Sara Pichelli reveal what happens when the Mole Man interrupts Johnny Storm’s star-making turn on reality television!"

With new movies pushing both my all-time favourite comic book team, the Fantastic Four, and my favourite DC hero, Superman, to the fore this Summer, my bank balance will soon realise it's clobberin' time!

THROWBACK THURSDAY: University

Two of the things that helped get me through uni: The Manic Street Preachers and Star Wars

It's hard to believe that I graduated from Bournemouth University at the end of the last century!

My degree course - which is no longer offered - was Scriptwriting for Film and Television, and while it helped hone my writing and broaden my knowledge of cinema, I never really pursued a career in the arts, instead simply returning to what I knew best: local journalism.

Of course if you need proof of how long ago this was just check out the 'modern' technology below - at my work station in the last house we all lived in: the slimline PC and the discrete music system!

You can just make out, next to the CDs, my collection of West End Games' Star Wars RPG books and fanzines - my only real acknowledgement during that era of my gaming hobby.

It struck me, years later, that I never really gave the idea of active gaming a serious thought during my time in Bournemouth, instead relegating it to the reading of old supplements, and occasionally as an outlet for creative writing. 

The picture below is of my VHS video collection - note the top shelf with the Star Trek movies at one end and Star Wars at the other. This was pre-Prequels, so there were only three Star Wars films then.

And talking of cutting edge technology, please be impressed by my ancient top-loading video recorder on the bottom shelf. I loved that machine!

And that portable TV (with the Bjork picture on top) stayed with me from my later years of living with my parents in Pembury, through my own house in Tunbridge Wells, then uni, back to my parents', then flats in Sevenoaks and Tunbridge Wells, and right up until the time I moved in with Rachel.

As there are no notices on my notice board in this picture, I suspect it was taken just after we'd moved into this house (which Paul and I shared with Gordon, John and a young girl from a different course whose name has slipped my mind completely).

And finally, a cheeky (staged) photo of me reading on the toilet! Just for the hell of it...

Krypto Is Best In Show With His Cute Variant Cover For The Summer of Superman

I'm lost for words over the cuteness of this Krypto variant cover by Chrissie Zullo-Uminga

Following on from the recent announcement of the new Superman Unlimited ongoing title by Dan Slott, DC has unveiled further details of its Summer of Superman initiative (that just happens to coincide with the release of James Gunn's highly-anticipated Superman movie).

First out the gate, on April 16, will be the 48-page oversized one-shot Summer of Superman Special #1, featuring the work of Dan Slott, Mark Waid (Justice League Unlimited, Batman/Superman: World’s Finest), Joshua Williamson (Superman, DC All In Special) and Jorge Jiménez (Batman, Super Sons).

In this oversize issue, Slott, Waid and Williamson deliver a single story in three acts, highlighted by Jiménez’s dynamic art style that has made him a favourite of comic book fans worldwide.

The wedding of Lana Lang and John Henry Irons (a.k.a. Steel) serves as the backdrop for an outpouring of love and support from family and friends. However, their big day will also be big trouble, as threats from the past, present and future will spawn major new conflicts for the Superman family.

Featuring a main and variant cover by Jiménez, this... features additional variant covers by Alexander Lozano, John Giang, Mahmud Asrar, and Dan Jurgens, plus an adorable variant cover featuring Krypto, (Super)man’s best friend, by Chrissie Zullo-Uminga.

Main cover art byJorge Jiménez for Summer of Superman Special #1

Variant cover by Dan Jurgens and Norm Rapmund

This is quickly followed by Superman Day on April 18, celebrating the anniversary of the 1938 publication of Action Comics #1, which will be marked - at participating outlets - by special releases and rereleases of a curated collection of Superman's most "epically heroic and heartwarming" tales.

Oversize (48-page) issues of Superman's regular titles - Superman and Action Comics - will also be appearing in April. 

June sees the publication of new anthology Superman: The World, highlighting the character's global impact, and then in July Superman's Good Guy Gang debuts, the first in a multivolume series for early readers, following the adventures of an eight-year-old Clark Kent and his superpowered friends.

More details about these releases can be found over on the DC website here.

Creation of The Gods I - Kingdom of Storms (2023)

With Creation of The Gods II: Demon Force scheduled for cinematic release at the end of this month, I thought it was the right time for me to cast an eye over Creation of The Gods I: Kingdom of Storms.

Thankfully, independent British distributor Cine Asia has released this 148-minute epic in a lovely Blu-Ray edition.

The Creation of The Gods trilogy is an adaptation of 16th Century fantasy novel Investiture of the Gods written by the Ming dynasty author Xu Zhonglin.

Kingdom of Storms is essentially a fantastic and fictitious retelling of the political fallout following the ascension of the last king of Shang dynasty.

Triumphant war hero Yin Shou (Fei Xiang) returns to his father's court - after quelling a rebellion - to be feted for his victory.

However, unknown to all, he has been seduced by a nine-tailed fox demon, who has possessed the body of the late Su Daji (Narana Erdyneeva), daughter of the rebellion's leader. And who can blame him really?

Narana Erdyneeva as Su Daji

Through some magical manipulation around the celebratory feast both Yin Shou's father and then his elder brother are slain, leaving him next in line for the throne.

However, this act triggers something supernatural called The Great Curse, which could potentially wipe mankind from the face of the Earth, with Yin Shou's self-sacrifice being divined as the only solution.

He says he's willing to do it... but we all know he's not!

At the same time, the mystic immortals of Kunlun send a trio of monks to deliver a magical scroll to Yin Shou that will save the world from the effects of the curse.

However, they quickly realise that the tyrant Yin Shou is not the right person to possess this power and a running battle ensues for the scroll and to topple the king.

Based on a 500-year-old story of events that took place in 2,000BC China, Kingdom of Storms is a complex, mesmerising tale of wuxia swords and sorcery.

Starting off as a magnificent, and quite grisly, grounded war tale, the supernatural elements are slowly seeded in with the arrival of the fox demon, then we meet the Immortals (who are basically superheroes), an evil sorcerer (whose powers include being able to safely remove his own head and animating enormous stone fu dog statues), a green-skinned demonic baby and so on.

Although the film is two-and-a-half hours of reading subtitles, the narrative sucks you in as the action gallops along, so you are drawn in to the wonderment of the visuals and the storytelling. 

There's even a couple of "mid-credit scenes" as the very long, Chinese language, credits roll - so you'll probably want to keep your finger on the 'fast forward' button once the main movie ends.

While there are echoes of Lord of The Rings, and even Game of Thrones, in Kingdom of Storms, director Wuershan - who co-wrote the script with Jianan Ran, Ping Ran, and Cao Sheng - has crafted a mighty vision that reminded me of the visceral thrills I felt when I first saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Zu: Warriors of The Magic Mountain.

There is a jaw-dropping majesty in Creation of The Gods I: Kingdom of Storms that emphasises, as if you needed telling, that cinema is a global artform, not limited to Hollywood or the UK, and other cultures have very different, but no less engrossing, ideas of how to entertain an audience.

I hope Cine Asia is able to release Creation of The Gods II: Demon Force on Blu-Ray reasonably quickly after the film hits cinemas, and then Creation of The Gods III: Creation Under Heaven follows swiftly after that.

Superman And The Mole-Men (1951)

Among the many extras on the 4-disc definitive Superman The Movie set lurks the delightful 1951 Superman And The Mole-Men, the first ever Superman movie.

It's a simple little 58-minute, black and white tale of period paranoia. Clark Kent (George Reeve) and Lois Lane (Phyllis Coates) have been dispatched from Metropolis to write a story on the Havenhurst experimental oil well, the deepest in the world.

Arriving in the town of Silsbury, however, they discover that the well is being closed down.

That night, a pair of strange creatures - well, moleskin-wearing Munchkins - climb out of the drill shaft and accidentally scare the elderly night-watchman to death. The little people - bald-headed and furry-handed - make their way towards the town, but when word of their appearance gets out the locals whip up a mob to hunt them down.

One of the creatures is shot as they make their way across a dam, but Superman swoops in, catches him and takes him to a nearby hospital, while the other is hounded into a tool shed which is then set alight.

Unbeknown to the mob, the mole-man escapes and heads back to the mine shaft and down to his subterranean world (which, sadly, we never get to see). He later returns with more of his friends, who want to rescue their injured colleague from the hospital... however the mob has other plans for the injured mole-man and want to string him up!

George Reeve is a very dynamic Superman, cutting a granite-solid figure as he stands unwaveringly before the mob and Robert Maxwell's script doesn't sledgehammer home its anti-racism message, instead drip-feeding information, such as the doctor explaining to Clark that the mole-men have the same internal structure as humans.

The scene of the mole-man trapped in the burning tool shed is actually quite upsetting, because of the combination of the the claustrophobia of his predicament and innocent terror on the little guy's face.

At first I thought the mole-people were meant to be dressed in cat suits (because the zip on the back of one was clearly visible), but it was only later that I realised that was supposed to be their skin - the doctor makes reference to this. Nonetheless, they are fascinating characters, not saying a word through the whole film, curious about the surface world and ultimately driven back underground because they "look different".

Jeff Corey, as Luke Benson, the leader of the angry mob, makes an excellent antagonist; as the voice of the frightened masses, his first reaction is always to lash out and once he starts talking about a lynching, you feel the atmosphere shift from the 1950s back to the Old West.

For a short, 50-year-old film, Superman And The Mole-Men (or Mole Men) works really well, with a minimum of special effects, thanks to great central performances and an intelligent script.

The Giant Gila Monster & The Killer Shrews (1959)

When a couple of courting teenagers disappear from a small, isolated Texas town, their parents - and the local sheriff (Fred Graham) - fear they have eloped.

But this is just the start of a wave of disappearances, many connected to road traffic accidents on the lonely roads that traverse the unexplored woodland that surrounds the town.

The father of the missing boy, wicked mine owner Mr Wheeler (Bob Thompson), puts pressure on the sheriff to blame the disappearances on Chase Winstead (Don Sullivan), ace hot-rod mechanic and crooner, de facto "leader" of the local youth and clearly the smartest teenager in the county.

The sheriff isn't having any of it, because he relies on Chase to keep the other youngsters on the straight and narrow and he knows he's a good kid who cares for his widowed mother (Gay McLendon) and disabled younger sister, Missy (Janice Stone).

Eventually, the town drunk Old Man Harris (Shug Fisher) spots an enormous gila monster - the size of a bus - when it derails a passenger train, and the sheriff finally has something to work with.

The titular Giant Gila Monster

Meanwhile, Chase and his friends have organised a "platter party" (dance night) at a local hall, hosted by celebrity DJ, Horatio Alger 'Steamroller' Smith (Ken Knox), who owes Chase a favour.

Not only is Chase revealed to the audience as having just cut a record, but he also gets to sing a song - which he'd previously sung to his sister - but, thankfully, that's the moment the gila monster decides to attack the barn dance.

The sheriff drives the beast away with his rifle, but it's up to Chase to deliver the well-foreshadowed coup de grâce on the oversized reptile.

The Giant Gila Monster: Special Edition was the first Blu-Ray release from new film  restoration, preservation and distribution company, Film Masters.

The creature feature hits stores Stateside in September 2023 as the headliner in a Blu-Ray double-bill with The Killer Shrews. 

Both films are from 1959, stalwarts of the drive-in era of no-budget shlock productions, cranked out for a very specific demographic.

Despite the often laughably poor acting and occasionally ropy script from director Ray Kellogg and co-writer Jay Simms, there is a convincing, 1950's sense of community pervading this 74-minute B-movie.

And it's this verisimilitude that comes closest to saving the picture because, in all honesty, until the closing moments, when townsfolk get to finally see their mysterious nemesis, The Giant Gila Monster is a whole heap of nothing.

Sure, things happen and Chase and the sheriff get to run around a bit but because they are so clueless as to what is really going on there's no real sense of jeopardy.

Random musical interludes from Chase, as well as nuggets of backstory coldly calculated to tug at your heartstrings, make the movie a quiet strange viewing experience, as more time is spent developing the potential victims than actually justifying what is happening with the giant monster.

The suggestion from the opening spiel is that it has grown large due to its lack of contact with any real threats in its isolated habitat, so why has the giant gila monster chosen now to start eating humans?

As far as I could tell no reason was given, although I like to think it was somehow tied to Wheeler's dodgy mining practices.

While the audience has sight of the monster from the get-go - a real life lizard dropped into miniature model sets - there is no actual interaction with it until the final act, and it's only then that we can truly get an idea of its supposed gigantic size and the threat it poses to the community.

Much of the action takes place at night, but thanks to this new restoration from 35mm archival materials (and Blu-Ray presentation), the contrast is crisp enough that while we still know it's meant to be night time we can actually see what's going on.

This new release of The Giant Gila Monster: Special Edition is definitely a film that connoisseurs of vintage "so bad it's good" monster movies need to add to their collection.

However, it's not really one for the casual viewer as you need to cut the film an awful lot of slack to really enjoy it.

As well as a trailer and commentary track, the Blu-Ray disc of The Giant Gila Monster includes an audio, archival, interview with the late Don Sullivan aka Chase Winstead.

"I'm in hot pursuit of them Killer Shrews"

Ironically the 'bonus feature' in the two-disc set, The Killer Shrews, is actually the superior film (which, of course, isn't saying much).

Captain Thorne Sherman (James Best) and his engineer, 'Rook' Griswold (Judge Henry Dupree), just manage to outrun a hurricane in their boat and make it to the isolated island where they have to drop off supplies.

There they discover a small scientific community, led by Swedish geneticist Dr Marlowe Craigis (Baruch Lumet) and his daughter, zoologist Ann Craigis (Ingrid Goude), preparing for a siege rather than just bad weather.

The handful of scientists and their assistants are living in fear of the results of an experiment run wild: giant shrews (actually dogs in ratty costumes) devouring all the wildlife. But now they've run out of other animals to eat and are turning on the small human population.

With the double threat of both a major weather event and mutant animals, The Killer Shrews is what old school Doctor Who fans would term a classic "base under siege" scenario.

There is genuine claustrophobic tension here as the sea captain tries to organise the defence of the island's adobe stockade against the mutant monsters.

Another masterpiece from the team of writer Jay Simms and director Ray Kellogg, Killer Shrews is a more focussed and coherent horror yarn than The Giant Gila Monster. 

While the shrews themselves are very obviously a combination of glove puppets (for close-ups) and 'disguised' canines (for long shots) there is an undeniable charm about this ultra-low budget approach to creating a swarm of killer monsters.

Even the justification for making the creatures even deadlier, by turning their bite's poisonous, is a clever little idea than works within the logic of the story. 

Coming in at barely over an hour's running time, there's a rugged, pulpy quality to The Killer Shrews, served up with some quality acting from the permanently drunk bad guy Jerry Farrell (Gunsmoke star Ken Curtis) and our square-jawed lead played by the future Sheriff Rosco P Coltrane of Dukes of Hazzard fame.

This disc includes a film commentary track, original radio spots for both movies, and an informative quarter-of-an-hour documentary on the career of Ray Kellogg.

He was a contemporary of Ray Harryhausen who took effects in a different (cheaper) direction as well as working on many big budget movies, including directing John Wayne's The Green Berets, and acting as second unit director on Cleopatra and Adam West's Batman: The Movie.

Also packaged with the films is a 24-page booklet featuring essays on the Texas radio pioneer and films' producer, Gordon McLendon (who appears in The Killer Shrews as absent-minded scientist Dr Radford Baines), and a critical dissection of Killer Shrews by professor and film scholar Jason A Ney.

I'm Pretty Sure I Am, But Are You Ready For The Summer of Superman?

To coincide with the release of a certain movie we're all looking forward to (don't let us down, James Gunn!), DC Comics has announced its Summer of Superman initiative.

Leading the charge will be a new ongoing title in May, Superman Unlimited, from the ever-excellent Dan Slott (of Fantastic Four, Amazing Spider-Man etc fame), making his ongoing DC debut, and artist Rafael Albuquerque.

A massive extinction-level Kryptonite asteroid showers Superman’s greatest weakness down upon the earth, creating an arms race for the new most valuable resource on the planet: Green K.

The greater availability of Kryptonite in the DC Universe changes the balance of power in the criminal empires of Metropolis and across the globe: Intergang, under new leadership, is on the rise, with practically all their foot soldiers carrying at least one clip of Kryptonite bullets on them.

The asteroid left massive Kryptonite deposits to be mined, and it houses unlimited horrors yet to be unpacked. To survive, Superman will need to forge new alliances, new tech and new tactics if he hopes to carry on his quest for truth, justice and a better tomorrow!

Superman Unlimited won’t just provide Superman’s nemeses with near-unlimited Kryptonite: the Daily Planet gets an upgrade.

A merger with a new incarnation of Morgan Edge’s Galaxy Communications expands the Daily Planet brand into a multimedia news platform with a cable news channel, website, strong social media presence, and—yes—Lois Lane is still editor in chief.

Daily Planet regulars Jimmy Olsen, Ron Troupe, Cat Grant and Steve Lombard will staff satellite branches across the DC universe, creating a global network.

Behind it all is the tech savvy of a new IT specialist from Gorilla City, King Solovar’s goddaughter, Tee-Nah.

The story kicks off with a 10-page preview in the DC All In Free Comic Book Day Special Edition #1, coming out on May 3. This flip book will also include a new Absolute Universe story, written by Jeff Lemire. 

Superman Unlimited #1 is then scheduled for launch on May 21.

DC’s Summer of Superman will not only embrace the already ongoing Action Comics and Superman titles but will include limited and ongoing series starring Superboy, Supergirl, Krypto (yay!), and more, highlighting DC’s deep roster of Superman-related characters.

I suspect this could see some heavy culling of non-Superman, and non-Fantastic Four, titles from my monthly pull-list, but nothing immediately springs to mind as expendable. Ahhh, first world problems!

The two faces of DC's FCBD flip book

THROWBACK THURSDAY: I Think I Might Have A Problem... Or Could This Be Normal?

My collection of 10 Villains & Vigilantes rules books

I'm sure every 'serious' roleplayer has that one system that they own multiple copies of... for reasons.

My weakness, which should come as no surprise to readers old and new, is Villains & Vigilantes.

The other month postie delivered my latest eBay purchase: an original first edition of the game, in immaculate condition.

Sure, I already own my tattered original copy from the very early '80s, which is almost falling apart now, as well as reprint published by Monkey House Games in 2016.

Yet while I only recall actually playing this iteration of the game solo, before moving on to the elegant second edition, it holds a special place in my heart.

While all the books sport dynamic Jeff Dee art, out of the four different covers between the editions, I definitely have a strong affection for the original, even if my preferred rules are contained within the second edition.

The difference between first edition and second is striking, in much the same way that third edition (aka The Mighty Protectors) is a dramatic evolution from second.

I went all in on the 2016 Kickstarter to back the third edition because (a) I wanted Jeff Dee to draw to The Acrobatic Flea and (b) I wanted to support Jack Herman and Jeff Dee in their creative endeavours and help keep V&V alive.

And while I got to game with Jeff online, the fact that character creation required a spreadsheet had already made me realise this probably wasn't the rules system for me, however much I loved the game world. 

I don't regret pouring all that money into the Kickstarter because I still got some fantastic books (some of which include second edition stats as well) and got to play the game with one of my creative heroes... who also drew me an incredible illustration of my Acrobatic Flea.

The first edition of Villains & Vigilantes was my introduction to the idea of "superhero roleplaying games", which the next edition then solidified in my noggin and the rest, as they say, is history.

When sorting out my V&V rule books for the picture to illustrate this article it turned out I had more copies of the second edition (and 2.1) than I had previously realised, some well-read and annotated, one without a cover for some reason, and some pristine.

Why do I have so many copies? Honestly, I couldn't tell you. I think I just like to ensure I always have a version of the rules to hand, whenever I want to look something up or I have a wild idea for a hero or villain I want to stat up.

I certainly needn't worry about mislaying my copy of the core rules. 

My new purchase of an old favourite

Left to Right: My battered original, my new purchase, and the Monkey House reprint

Glorious (2022)

After breaking up with his seemingly perfect girlfriend, a broken-hearted man, Wes (True Blood's Ryan Kwanten) is driving across country and realises he needs to stop before tiredness causes him to have an accident.

Pulling into a remote woodland, roadside, rest stop, he rages, drinks, destroys mementos from his past, and eventually finds himself locked inside the isolated bathroom.

Just to make his problems worse, there's a voice coming from the other toilet stall that claims to be an elder demigod, Ghat (voiced by JK Simmons), who needs a favour from Wes to prevent his father, an all-powerful cosmic creator god, from annihilating mankind.

Despite moments of broad dark comedy, Glorious is an incredibly tight piece of cosmic horror, tapping into Lovecraftian tropes by way of Michael Shea.

Penned by Joshua Hull, David Ian McKendry, and Todd Rigney, and directed by Rebekah McKendry, who has also directed the Elevator Game, Glorious is a delightfully grotty, unnerving, creepy horror that plays with expectations and makes great use of its limited cast and single main location.

The film is very self-contained and claustrophobic, for the most part a two-hander between Kwanten and Simmons' voice, with occasional appearances from the memory of Wes's girlfriend, Brenda (Sylvia Grace Crim), that could almost be a stage play if not for the moments of over the top special effects and gore.

It's certainly one of the best attempts I've seen to modernise the spirit of Lovecraft, putting it on a par with The Void, mixed with elements of Color Out Of Space and Evil Dead, and within touching distance of John Carpenter's In The Mouth of Madness.

The pared-to-the-bone presentation means you can't really discuss much about the plot of Glorious without lurching headlong into verboten spoiler territory, but if you've read many of my reviews and think our tastes might gel then you'll probably love Glorious as much as I did.

Breadcrumbs leading to personal revelations about Wes are sown throughout the script, so you need to pay attention not just to what is being said, but the context.

While some of the sexual allusions might not have sat well with old starchy-pants Howard Phillips Lovecraft I reckon he would have liked the story of Glorious anyway for its combination of grim horror and wit.

I can understand why some might be underwhelmed, or even disappointed, by the ending but for me it was narratively and emotionally perfect, emulating the bleak spirit of many Lovecraftian horror tales.

Mortal Engines' Author Philip Reeve Takes Us Back To The Old West For His New Film

Arkansas, 1871. When her homesteader husband is murdered by outlaws seeking the gold he stole in the Civil War, homesteader Annie Harper sets out alone to beat them to the place where the treasure is hidden.

In late 2023, my favourite author, Philip Reeve - creator of the peerless Mortal Engines and Railhead books - gave us Gwenevere , a delightful short film encapsulating his love of Arthurian mythology.

This week, his production company - Bonehill Films - released the first trailer for his follow-up film, Prairie Rascals, a short Western, again shot around where he lives in Dartmoor.

In the introduction to the trailer, Philip writes that this is:

"... [a] teaser trailer for our new film Prairie Rascals, starring Rosanna Lambert, Laura Frances Martin, Mylo Sermon, Amanda Lindseth, Nicholas De Jasay, Arran Hawkins, Xanthe Baylis and Nick Riddle. Music by Nick Riddle, vocals by Rosanna Lambert.

"We hope to screen the finished film locally this summer and autumn, and upload it to the Bonehill Films channel next Christmas."

Returning from the Gwenevere cast are Rosanna Lambert taking the lead role of Annie Harper, Queen Gwenevere herself, Laura Frances Martin, as "ruthless desperado" Cat Hannigan, and former Lancelot Arran Hawkins as the cowardly sheriff.

You can read about the film shoot here on Philip's blog - Station Zero - and, last year, on Twitter (aka X), he published a selection of costume design sketches for Prairie Rascals, which you can see below:

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024)

Thirty-six years after the events of the original Beetlejuice movie, Lydia Deetz (Winona Ryder) is now hosting her own paranormal reality show, Ghost House, when the death of her father calls her, her daughter Astrid (Jenna Ortega), and her mother, Delia (Catherine O'Hara), back to their family home in Winter River for the funeral.

Meanwhile, in the afterlife, Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton) finds himself being stalked by his murderous ex-wife, Delores (Monica Bellucci), and he sees Lydia's return to her old home as his possible escape.

Settling in to Winter River, Astrid - a non-believer in the supernatural - is tricked by a malevolent ghost into swapping her existence for his, and ends up trapped in the afterlife.

Unable to think of any other way to rescue her daughter, Lydia calls on Beetlejuice for assistance.

I'll admit that when I sat down to watch Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, while I had high hopes for a Tim Burton movie with this incredible cast, I wasn't convinced that it would be able to recapture the lightning in a bottle brilliance of 1988's iconic original.

But this sequel turned out to be a pleasant surprise. It's chaotic and madcap, with a whirlwind of plot elements swirling around (not all of which make 100 per cent sense or achieve resolution) and sweeping up a legion of memorable characters.

Michael Keaton has lost none of his gnarly charisma as the demonic Beetlejuice, while the three female leads are perfection personified in their roles: Winona Ryder retains her ultimate goth girl crown, Jenna Ortega sidesteps Wednesday Addams to create a wholly believable sceptic in a family of eccentrics, and Catherine O'Hara is, of course, Catherine O'Hara and we can expect nothing less.

It may be occasionally nonsensical, but Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is a hell of a lot of crazy fun, with some great visual gags and a supporting cast as strong as its main cast: from a cameo by Danny DeVito as the afterlife's janitor to Willem Dafoe as Wolf Jackson, the ghost-detective who was actually a B-movie actor in life.

The joyous splattergun approach to the horror-comedy narrative includes the sudden insertion of Beetlejuice's origin story. This caught me totally by surprise, but then again as The Joker of the underworld, was this his true beginning or simply a flight of fancy?

As convincing a yarn as it was, not knowing its veracity certainly adds another layer to the character of the bio-exorcist.

Under Tim Burton's guidance, with a script from Smallville creators and Spider-Man 2 scribes, Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice manages, just about, to be simultaneously quite different from the original and very similar.

The Jeffrey Jones of the situation (the disgraced actor played Lydia's dad, Charles, in the first movie) is handled really deftly, through a range of tricks from a claymation death sequence to a headless corpse (and voice impersonator) taking his place in the afterlife.

While, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice mainly stays away from aping moments directly from the original, the climactic musical number - lip-syncing to MacArthur Park - could never reach the enduring heights of the legendary Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) sequence.

That tune does pops up earlier, at Charles funeral, posing a serious challenge to Monty Python's Always Look On The Bright Side of Life as the best tune to play at a funeral.

Given the surreal maelstrom of the denouement, I'm now wondering how long we will have to wait for Tim Burton's Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.

The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007)

It has taken just over a century to transform outlaw Jesse James into a mythical 'Robin Hood'-style character, but Andrew Domink's 2007 epic The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford goes a long way towards balancing the scales and showing that Jesse James was just a flawed human being.

In fact, Brad Pitt's portrayal of the younger James brother shows him to be seriously unbalanced and generally quite unlikeable.

Following the events that unfold after the James' gangs final train robbery, as the gang fractures and Jesse becomes increasingly paranoid about the law closing in on him, The Assassination Of Jesse James... takes its time to lay the groundwork for the inevitable conclusion and its rather sordid and pathetic aftermath.

The two-and-a-half hour film, which is a more a slice of Western life than a traditional "Wild West" movie, shows up nearly all of Jesse's gang as social rejects, perverts and lowlifes... only his older brother, Frank (Sam Shephard) and Robert's brother, Charlie Ford (Sam Rockwell), come out with their dignity intact.

The slowly unfolding tale, a damning indictment of the seemingly 21st Century "cult of celebrity", centres around young Robert Ford (Casey Affleck), his hero worship of Jesse James fuelled by press cuttings and dime novel accounts of the outlaw's exploits, and the crashing realisation that the man doesn't measure up to the myth.

While most people with a passing knowledge of the Old West will know the story of Bob Ford shooting Jesse James in the back, it was what happened next that came as an eye opener to me; Bob Ford's misguided belief that he, in turn, would become as big a celebrity or even be declared a hero rapidly unravelling into a cheap life of 'kill-and-tell' revelations (with his touring play substituting for the tabloid magazines of today) and eventual ignoble death in a mining camp years later.

The Assassination of Jesse James... is a fine film for fans of revisionist westerns, from Open Range and Unforgiven to Deadwood.

Although maybe not as pacy as its predecessors it still carries the viewer along with its sweeping landscapes and the poetic rhythm of dialogue that gives these pieces that certain verisimilitude that earlier Westerns, where everyone spoke Hollywood/Californian, might fall short on.

Now This Is How You Tell An Epic Saga

Taishi Wen Zhong led the army of Shang Dynasty including Deng Chanyu and four generals of the Mo Family to Xiqi. With the help of Kunlun immortals such as Jiang Ziya, Ji Fa led the army and civilians of Xiqi to defend their homeland.

Well Go USA brings the second part of Chinese epic Creation of The Gods to American cinemas on January 31 (IMAX on January 29).

I know I'm biased, but for my money, I'd rather see the kind of mythology depicted in Creation of The Gods II: Demon Force serving as the background to a superhero comic than the tried-and-tested tropes of more Western pantheons such as the Norse and Ancient Greeks.

Horizon - An American Saga, Chapter One (2024)

This week I sat down to watch, in a single sitting, Kevin Costner's immersive three-hour long Horizon: An American Saga, Chapter One and it was an amazing viewing experience... except for the fact that it's not a complete story.

If I knew Chapter Two was just around the corner I wouldn't be so concerned - as this chapter ended with a tantalising montage of images of 'things to come'.

But, seemingly hoist by its own petard, this epic tale (which is eventually planned to consist of four similar-length movies) failed to draw the box office Warner Bros was hoping for (possibly because it wasn't a complete story), so Chapter Two was pulled from its original release date last August and has yet to be rescheduled.

Hopefully, it'll see the light of day sometime soon, as writer-director Costner is still pressing on with all four chapters and I, sincerely, want him to see them through to completion, so we can all share in his cinematic vision.

As it stands as a solo picture, there is no three-act structure in this first chapter's intricate web of  storylines, about disparate groups of people in the 19th Century trying to establish the frontier town of Horizon in Arizona, the heart of Apache territory.

We have a beginning, but it's clearly a long journey to the final act... which we may never actually see.

Which begs the question: why wasn't this produced as a high-quality HBO-style limited series instead?

With a season of 10 to 12 hour-(or so)-long episodes, the same ground could have been covered and we would have been guaranteed a satisfying conclusion (just look at last year's Shōgun). 

In many ways, Horizon reminded me of the 70's miniseries Centennial, which played a formative role in my developing love of the Western, despite me being a pasty greenhorn who rarely leaves his home.  

Like modern televisual sagas, in Horizon we are introduced to a multitude of characters, and seemingly disjointed storylines, and it takes a good hour, at least, until you begin to see how these will interweave. 

Personally, this didn't bother me, as I have faith in Costner and was simply enjoying the verisimilitude of his balanced portrayal of the Old West.

But, again, I can see why people expecting a 'complete story', even though the film is clearly labelled Chapter One, might have been frustrated.

I'm hoping that by supporting this first outing, even in my small way, and encouraging others to do the same, I can demonstrate to the bean counters and 'powers that be' that this kind of epic, sprawling Western still has a place, and an audience, in the 21st Century.

This was Costner's first directing gig since 2003's Open Range, which is one of my favourite Westerns, so I was definitely bringing my bias to this tale.
 
Even this early in 2025, Horizon - An American Saga, Chapter One could have been a strong contender for being one of my films of the year (let's be honest, it kept my bum in my seat for three hours, which is almost unheard of) if I was more confident that we would eventually see the whole story.

• Horizon - An American Saga, Chapter One is available for purchase in the UK on Sky Store (where I got it) and Prime Video.

The Beach House (2019)

In an attempt to patch up their relationship, opinionated, deadbeat, college dropout - and runner-up in a Skeet Ulrich-lookalike competition - Randall (Noah Le Gros) takes his supersmart girlfriend, Emily (Liana Liberato) to his family's beach house.

As it's out of season, they're expecting to have the place to themselves.

However, due to a breakdown in communication with Randall's dad, they instead find a couple of old family friends - Mitch (Hell on Wheels and Dawn of The Dead's Jake Weber) and his sick wife, Jane (Maryann Nagel) - are already staying there.

As the house is big enough to accommodate everyone, after a few awkward moments, they agree to "get to know you" meal that, having exhausted the alcohol supply, ends with the consumption of some edible marijuana.

Senses heightened by the drugs everyone is awed by a blue luminesce that clings to everything around the beach.

And the next morning, things start to get even weirder as people start to feel violently ill.

Having witnessed an apparent suicide, Emily - the only real candidate for the title of 'final girl' - stumbles across something vile and gelatinous on the beach, and soon finds herself trying to escape an unnatural fog that's rolling in as well.

For all intents and purposes, The Beach House is another reimagining of HP Lovecraft's Color Out Of Space, only this time the alien infestation is coming from the bottom of the ocean, rather than the cold depths of the cosmos.

Mixed in for good measure is a flavouring of Stephen King's The Mist and John Carpenter's The Fog, and maybe a soupçon of Quatermass.

There's no denying that all the ingredients are there for a quality horror film, and it was trailers for The Beach House that originally got me thinking about subscribing to the Shudder streaming service.

If you're coming to this cold, you should be aware that it's a really slow burn. Pretty much nothing  really happens for the first half of this 88-minute movie, except Mitch and Jane being a bit odd.

But then, suddenly, the body horror cranks up and we're off to the races.

There are some deliciously gross-out moments around this time when you can't help wondering if this is going to be "the greatest film of all time", but sadly it isn't.

Like Emily herself, the plot stumbles all over the place, trying to figure out what's going on.

Having a lead character's obscure area of study - and interests - corollate almost exactly with the nature of the random, apocalyptic, scenario  that she has fallen into is rather heavy-handed, even if Emily doesn't really call upon her area of expertise once everything starts to hit the fan. 

Instead, it is simply sown in as ominous exposition during the meal with Mitch and Jane, and like a lot of the set-up is more or less a red herring. 

That said, I have no problems with stories - horror ones, in particular - where the audience isn't spoon-fed an explanation of what's occurring (if nothing else, it helps you sympathise with the struggles of the central characters), but I'm not sure writer/director Jeffrey A Brown's script gave us as much information as he thought it did.

But, perhaps, my biggest bugbear - which kept pulling me out of the moment - was the total absence of mobile phones.

There was no indication that The Beach House was a 'period piece', but nobody had a mobile phone (which, of course, would have been very useful and would have almost certainly changed the direction of the story). Nobody even mentioned the idea of finding one.

Communication-wise, all we saw were a couple of disconnected landlines and a CB radio.

Where were the mobile phones? I'm annoyed at myself over how much this bugged me, but mobiles are ubiquitous in modern society and their absence was as big a mystery as what was actually causing the water-borne infection.