Insidious (2010)

Starting out as a good old fashioned 'haunted house' movie, Insidious spins off into Lovecraftian pseudoscience horror as a family find the ghostly manifestations have followed them to a new house.

Soon after the Lambert family - school teacher Josh (The Conjuring's Patrick Wilson), musician Renai (Rose Byrne) and their three kids - move into a new home, son Dalton (Ty Simpkins) falls into a mysterious coma and his mother starts to see strange apparitions around the house.

Eventually, she gets so freaked out the family moves house - but the paranormal phenomena follows them!

Josh's mother, Lorraine (Barbara Hersey), puts her daughter-in-law in touch with medium Elise Rainier (the legendary Lin Shaye) and her team of comedic psychic investigators, Specs (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson).

They quickly deduce that it is not the house that is haunted, but comatose Dalton, a gifted 'astral projector' and dreamer, whose soul has gotten lost on his night-time dimensional travels, leaving his body open to potential possession by otherworldly beings.

Things get a bit silly in the latter part of the third act when there's a journey into the ghost-dimension known as The Further, but Insidious scores bonus points with me for one of the most wonderfully over-the-top séance scenes I've ever encountered in a horror movie.

There are a number of telegraphed "jump scares", but the film works best when it's relying on atmosphere (which is why the "monster movie moments" towards the end don't gel quite as well).

Created by the same team that brought us the original, inventive Saw, writer Leigh Whannell and director James Wan, Insidious establishes a solid supernatural mythology that now, several sequels later, was obviously setting up its own franchise from the off.

Jakob's Wife (2021)

Jakob's Wife was a pet project of the iconic Barbara Crampton, who had apparently spent years trying to bring the script by Kathy Charles, Mark Steensland, and director Travis Stevens to life.

She is quoted on IMDB as saying:

"I read it and I was immediately captivated. I hooked up with Bob Portal at Alliance Media Partners and it took many years for us to develop the project and put it together."

In the film, Crampton plays Anne Fedder, the dutiful but downtrodden wife of a boorish, small town minister, Pastor Jakob Fedder (Larry Fessenden).

The film wastes no time in getting to the meat of its storyline when an attractive girl, Amelia Humphries (Nyisha Bell), disappears on her way home from an evening church service.

Then Anne has the chance to meet up with an old flame, Tom Low (Robert Rusler), who is back in town to help with the restoration of a historic gin mill.

The couple rendezvous at the rundown, out-of-town, property but just as it looks like their old romance is about to be rekindled, they are attacked by supernatural forces.

Tom is killed off swiftly, but Anne returns home later... a changed woman.

Bonnie Aarons as The Master

She has fallen under the spell of an enigmatic, asexual, vampire lord - of the old school, Nosferatu-style - known only as The Master (Bonnie Aarons, who also played the titular role in The Nun).

Once Jakob realises what's going on in his town, he is at first naturally horrified, but then his desire to exterminate the vampire threat (which he readily accepts as real) is tempered by a determination to save his wife, somehow.

The story pivots and lurches thematically and tonally, but it is Barbara Crampton's powerful central performance around which everything revolves and that holds this strange 98-minute affair together.

I think it's supposed to be a dark comedy, but this really isn't clear from the get-go.

There's a definite Fright Night vibe - and even a touch of Buffy The Vampire Slayer - to Jakob's Wife, but it has an odd habit of allowing characters to flip from 'good guys' to 'bad guys' at a moment's notice.

Jakob, for instance, isn't a particularly likeable person to begin with, and yet there are times when he's suddenly - slightly uncomfortably - thrust into the role of 'hero'.

In all honesty, the majority of the audience isn't ever going to care for him... even if, at the eleventh hour, he realises what a great catch his wife is.

And I wasn't totally sold by his transition from "thoughts and prayers solve everything" to "killing in the name of love".

Conversely, Anne switches from murderous monster to "hero" and back again several times in the tale.

Director Travis Stevens was certainly very lucky to have an actor as brilliant as Barbara Crampton as the power engine behind his movie, because it could have possibly spun totally out of control without her presence.

Jakob's Wife is a buffet, a potential melange of different tastes that may, or may not, appeal depending on your personal preferences and tolerances.

The Nun (2018)

In 1952, news of the apparent suicide of a nun at a cloistered abbey in darkest Romania reaches The Vatican.

They call upon one of their elite 'miracle hunters', Father Burke (Demian Bichir), to investigate, as the abbey has a 'chequered' reputation.

He is paired up with a young novitiate, Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), that the Church feels may be of assistance to him because of her history of "visions".

Arriving in Romania, the holy duo meet Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet), the French-Canadian courier and guide who discovered the body of the dead nun, and recruit him to their cause.

Together this threesome probe the mysteries of the haunted abbey, and try to get to the bottom of the site's unholy - and demonic - secrets.

To all intents and purposes, the set-up and plot of The Nun is a grand Dungeons & Dragons adventure, with three mismatched adventurers plunging into a 'dark underworld' of tricks, traps, and monsters (complete with a demon-warding holy relic) to try and solve a puzzle.

As a rule, I'm not a big fan of either prequels or jump scares, but as the latest entry in The Conjuring Universe of movies, the film cleverly weaves itself into the backstory of The Conjuring 2, by providing a kind of 'supervillain origin story' for the titular demonic Nun (again portrayed by Bonnie Aarons) aka Valak.

As to jump scares, there are only really a couple and they're handled surprisingly well, delivering cathartic releases from moments of escalating terror.

Directorial tools such as foreshadowing and atmospheric lighting are quite on-the-nose, but help give The Nun a pulpy feel that mixes elements of modern movies with those of the classic Hammer era.

Once our heroes are entrenched within the confines of the abbey, the story quickly devolves into a surreal rollercoaster of mental torments and ghostly visitations.

It's not worth trying to attach too much logic to much of what unfolds, instead wallow in the psychological torment of the main characters as they battle the evil forces at work within the abbey.

However, for all the smoke and mirrors, the script is intriguing enough that its real power is to compel you to want to rewatch both it - to catch what you missed the first time - and The Conjuring 2 to see where the two stories intersect.

There's also the nice meta-connection that Sister Irene is portrayed by the younger sister of Vera Farmiga who plays Lorraine Warren in the main Conjuring flicks, and has a couple of brief cameos here in some 1970's scenes lifted from the previous movie.

Ultimately, it's not required viewing, and isn't that informative on Valak's backstory, but The Nun is an entertaining funhouse flick with quite an old school vibe to it.

The Curse of La Llorona (2019)

It's 1973 and widowed social worker Anna (Linda Cardellini) is raising two kids of her own, Chris (Roman Christou) and Samantha (Jaynee-Lynne Kinchen) when she attracts the attention of child-murdering demon-ghost, La Llorona (the Wailing/Weeping Woman).

Having 'rescued' two children from what she believes is an abusive mother, Anna is horrified when the children turn up dead the next day, drowned in the city's river,

The grieving mother, Patricia Alvarez (Patricia Velasquez) babbles something about La Llorona, and when strange marks - akin to those found on the recently drowned children - appear on the arms of her own children, Anna starts to investigate.

Her local priest, Father Perez (Tony Amendola) advises her to look outside the church for a speedy resolution to her concerns, sending her to renegade faith healer, Rafael Olvera (Raymond Cruz).

Ultimately, The Curse of La Llorona is a very pedestrian action-horror, hamstrung by a disappointingly generic "demonic ghost" with powers that range from near-omnipotence to total impotence, largely depending on the demands of the script. Sometimes she can fly, sometimes she can't, sometimes she can magically appear in a room, sometimes she can't etc

Unfortunately, the film quickly writes itself into a corner by focusing  La Llorona on Anna's family so early on, as then there's no one outside of a small circle of characters who can be drawn in and you know the ghost isn't going to kill Anna or her kids - certainly not before the finale anyway.

Then we're just left with a lot of threatening gestures, but no real threat. Admittedly, some of La Llorona's appearances are rather well thought-out (such as when she becomes visible through Sam's umbrella), but there's never any sense of verisimilitude to her ghostly appearances.

It's difficult to say too much else about The Curse of La Llorona because it's so formulaic and mediocre. We've all seen worse and we've all seen better.

Coming in at just over 90 minutes, with a bit of trimming this could easily have been reworked into a solid episode of Supernatural - as Olvera, and his clever bag of 'anti-evil spirits' tricks (love the bit with the eggs), fills the role we're used to seeing Sam and Dean Winchester take in similar yarns.

Except, Supernatural is way better at defining what its paranormal antagonists can and can't do.

Through Father Perez, who also appeared in Annabelle, The Curse of La Llorona has its marketing connection to The Conjuring Universe, but, as yet, there's nothing deeper. Certainly nothing to tie this film to The Warrens.

Great play is made in the film's introductory scenes about Anna's encounter taking place exactly 300 years after the creation of the ghost, but then this is never addressed again.

Given that La Llorona is a genuine Latin American folktale, it's a shame that it was treated so generically.

Maybe, like the demon doll Annabelle herself, the cinematic La Llorona will be redeemed in a future film. Or perhaps we'll never return this haunted spin-off cul-de-sac.

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Annabelle Comes Home is a masterclass in teen horror movie making.

While, on one hand, not much scarier than the best episodes of Supernatural, nor even as gory, on the other writer/director Gary Dauberman concentrated on escalating tension, menace, and atmosphere.

You always suspected a jump scare was coming, but, in truth, there were only a couple in the film, the majority were red herrings, but you never know which were which until the final 'boo!'.

The film opens with the backstory of how Annabelle came into the possession of The Conjuring's protagonists, Lorraine and Ed Warren (Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson) and a succinct explanation of the doll's powers (she isn't possessed, as demons don't possess objects, instead she acts as a beacon and a conduit for dark forces).

Then the story jumps forward a year, to 1972, and Annabelle is safely squirrelled away in the Warrens' locked room of evil artifacts.

The Warrens are heading out on another case, leaving their young daughter Judy (Mckenna Grace) in the care of Brady Bunch-like babysitter Mary Ellen (Madison Iseman).

At first I felt a bit cheated when I realised that the Warrens themselves would just be bookending the story of Annabelle Comes Home, but as it turns out I should have trusted Gary Dauberman to know what he was doing.

Having learned what the Warrens do for a living, Mary Ellen's best friend, Daniela Rios (Katie Sarife) drops in to surreptitiously check out the "room of cursed objects".

She is wracked with guilt over the recent death of her father, and is hoping to find a way to contact his spirit.

Instead, she is tricked into releasing Annabelle, who, in turn, unleashes as many of the trapped entities in the Warrens' secure room as she can.

The variety of spooky objects that come into play reminded me of a cross between the Friday the 13th TV series (nothing to do with Jason Voorhees) and the wonderful Warehouse 13, with the predictive television set being a particular visual highlight.

The climax, which draws in May Ellen's would-be boyfriend, Bob Palmeri (Michael Cimino), is a funfair thrill ride of spooks, monsters, and mind-trickery as a demon uses Annabelle to try and steal one of the young women's souls.

Ultimately, Annabelle Comes Home is Buffy The Vampire Slayer level teen drama and urban fantasy scares, but on a bigger budget, with enough atmosphere and misdirection to keep the audience on the edge of its seat throughout.

As always with this franchise, the film capitalises on its period setting to heighten the verisimilitude, making the jeopardy and threat wholly convincing for both the audience and the teenagers trapped inside the haunted house.

Balancing out the jump scares, there's also some laugh out loud moments, and Dauberman has a great knack of making full use of the screen, so you always have to keep half-an-eye on what's going on in the background.

Beyond question, Annabelle Comes Home is delightfully creepy and simultaneously thrilling and unnerving, making it one of my favourite entries in the ever-expanding Conjuring Universe.

While Universal may have failed to launch its Dark Universe, reinventing their classic characters for 21st Century audiences, Warner Bros and New Line Cinema were quietly building an impressive, interconnected, universe around the mythology of The Conjuring movies.

They're not all hits, but the winners outweigh the duds. Long may it last.

Annabelle - Creation (2017)

It's the little things that can make a good movie.

During the first act of Annabelle: Creation, before the expected ghostly horrors begin, Sister Charlotte (Stephanie Sigman) is sharing a photograph of her fellow nuns and, at one point, she tilts it at a certain angle and, briefly, a face appears in the shadows of the picture, lenticular-like: it's Valak (from The Nun and The Conjuring 2).

It's never mentioned again, never referenced, but it's a marvellous Easter Egg tying this film - beyond the presence of its titular antagonist - to the wider Conjuring Universe.

Director David F Sandberg (who also directed Shazam!) makes great use of light and shadows in this creative origin story for the demonic doll, Annabelle, that far exceeds her disappointing first 'solo' film for scares and coherence.

Written by Gary Dauberman (who was also responsible for Annabelle, Annabelle Comes Home, The Nun, IT: Chapter Two, and developing Swamp Thing for DC Universe), Annabelle: Creation sees melancholic, former toy maker, Samuel Mullins (Anthony LaPaglia) and his bed-bound wife, Esther (Miranda Otto), opening their isolated home to Sister Charlotte and half-a-dozen orphan girls.

Twelve years earlier, in the mid 1940s, their young daughter, Annabelle (Samara Lee) had been run over and killed, and despite the generous nature of Mr Mullins, there's a definite creepy cloud of gloom hanging over the house.

Exploring a room in the house she was forbidden to enter, one girl, Janice (Talitha Bateman) is attacked in the night by some kind of demonic entity. Already hobbled by polio, this attack leaves her in a wheelchair, and the other girls start to believe her stories of 'ghosts', especially when Janice's behaviour takes a turn for the worse.

Although the climax of the main plot is slightly jumbled, even feeling a bit rushed, overall Annabelle: Creation is tightly scripted and delivers on most counts.

For the most part it avoids cheap jump scares, and instead oozes unnerving, "it's behind you", tension and atmosphere.

Taking a lesson from the first Annabelle flick, director David Sandberg doesn't dwell too long on the static doll, instead drawing the story's terror from what goes on around her.

The all-important "creation" of the central demonic doll is surprisingly interesting and clever (although I don't understand why no one ever suggested pouring a can of petrol over the doll and setting it alight, especially once it became clear how evil it was).

Towards the end of the film there's a nice nod to the "real Annabelle doll" in a sequence that dovetails neatly into the first Annabelle movie.

Besides the fantastic Easter Eggs, a strength of many of The Conjuring Universe movies has been their period settings, and that's ever-prevalent in Annabelle: Creation, with its story eventually spanning spanning three decades.

And, I know I came to this franchise late, but I love the way it really is a "cinematic universe" - in the style of the Marvel movies - with its stories not focusing on a single demonic entity or ghostly group simply repeating the same narrative over and over through unending sequels of ever-decreasing quality and budget.

Annabelle (2014)

In late '60s suburbia, ultra-square couple doctor John Form (Ward Horton) and his doll collector wife Mia (Annabelle Wallis) are expecting their first child.

John presents Mia with a vintage porcelain doll we shall call Annabelle for the sake of expediency (even though no name is actually used for the doll in the film).

Soon after this, their neighbour's house, and then their own, is attacked by a pair of crazed Satanic cultists, the female being shot dead by police while clutching the doll we now call Annabelle.

Mia begins to think their house is cursed, a belief given strength by a fire that nearly claims her life, but does lead to the birth of their child, Lia.

The family relocates to an apartment building, but the demonic forces follow them and Mia finds herself hounded by an assortment of evil creatures.

All the time, they are being watched by Annabelle; even though John had thrown her in the trash before the fire gutted their first home, she finds her way into their belongings when they move house.

Annabelle is a prequel to The Conjuring, supposedly fleshing out the backstory of the haunted doll, but really only cobbling together a story to explain how she got into the hands of the nurses who appear in the opening sequence of The Conjuring.

Unfortunately, this early expansion of The Conjuring Universe isn't written or directed by anyone connected with the original movie, and lacking the presence of the Warrens or analogues, Annabelle is a much more mundane and mainstream horror movie.

The film's problems are compounded by the fact that while the demonic entities in the actual Conjuring movies obey a kind of logic that makes them convincing in the context, Gary Dauberman's script - under the direction of John R. Leonetti - for Annabelle just throws special effects-heavy creatures at our protagonists on a whim.

While frequently dipping into the same well of horror movie clichés, Annabelle lacks the internal consistency and strong characters of The Conjuring.

Instead, it's a hodgepodge of ideas, with allusions to the Manson Family murders (the film starts with the trial of The Family as a backdrop), and stereotypical Hollywood black magic and Satanism, mixed in with The Conjuring's take on ghosts and demons, all somehow tied in to this evil doll.

And what can be said of the demonic doll herself? Well, firstly, mint, straight-out-of-the-box, she's a frakking evil looking creation so I can't understand why any sane person would want her in the house in the first place.

But, secondly, even once she starts acting as a conduit for dark forces, she actually does very little.

If she moves at all it's off-screen. In fact, for the longest time she's not even on screen, and her connection to the various ghosts and monsters that appear seems tenuous at best.

Imagine if Chucky had never actually moved during Child's Play and you'll get some idea how naff the doll is as a source of jeopardy.

Although she looks terrifying, she's a lot more effective as a tool of menace when people are talking about her than when we actually see her... doing nothing.

As much as I welcome the idea of a shared universe for The Conjuring franchise, Annabelle really adds very little to the joint mythology.

The film's almost like a self-contained horror movie that was tacked on to The Conjuring bandwagon as an afterthought. 

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

It's 1981, Brookfield, Connecticut, and the Warrens - Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) - are attending the violent exorcism of eight-year-old David Glatzel (Julian Hilliard), who has seemingly been possessed by a demonic waterbed (I kid you not).

In the process, Ed suffers a heart attack as he sees the entity jump into Arne Johnson (Ruairi O'Connor), the boyfriend of David's older sister, Debbie (Sarah Catherine Hook).

A month later, Ed wakes up in hospital, croaking out to Lorraine that he saw Arne get taken over.

Unfortunately, just as this is going on, Arne is in the process of stabbing to death his drunk landlord Bruno Sauls (Ronnie Gene Blevins) then wandering off in a trance.

Arne is arrested and charged with murder, however Ed and Lorraine are determined to prove to the court, in his defence, that Arne was "demonically possessed".

This sets in motion a supernatural procedural, where Ed and Lorraine head round the country, following clues to prove their claims.

Having found a "Satanic totem" under the Glatzel's house, Ed and Lorraine are directed to a retired priest, Kastner (Fringe's ever-wonderful John Noble), who believes the totem was deliberately placed there by the Disciples of The Ram cult (which also has connections to the Annabelle doll, although sadly this wasn't explored) to sow chaos.

The Warrens also note similarities between their "case" and that of a murdered girl and her missing friend in Danvers, Massachusetts. Lorraine manages to crack the case wide open for the sceptical police with her "mystical abilities", earning the trust of Sergeant Clay (Keith Arthur Bolden), who grants them access to the official files on the murder.

This sends them deeper into supernatural territory and the couple's first encounter with the all-too-human, chaotic evil Satanist called The Occultist (Eugenie Bondurant).

I like that scriptwriter David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick was trying something different with The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, rather than the expected haunted house horror of the previous two chapters in this franchise.

However, I don't feel it worked as well. While overall the film was a fun horror flick, the trail of mystical clues seemed a bit preposterous and Lorraine's supernatural abilities rather fortuitous and fool proof.

Part of my problem with this movie, unfortunately, comes down to my continued distain for the fact that real-life snake oil salesmen are being sold to a gullible public as genuine paranormal superheroes.

The first act of The Devil Made Me Do It appears to stick closest to the reality of events (with added demons and magic, of course), but the rest is just Hollywood bullshit.

In the real world the judge very promptly threw out the whole "the devil made me do it" defence by Arne's lawyer, as it had no grounding in law and was unprovable.

As acknowledged briefly at the end of the film, Arne was sentenced to 10–20 years in prison for first-degree manslaughter (of which he served about five years).

It's a pity more of the movie didn't focus on the proceedings of the case - but then facts would have got in the way of a good story.

Of course, that didn't stop a certain pair of publicity hounds cashing in on all this nationwide news coverage, eventually writing a book about the case.

I'm sure that's what put me off watching this most recent entry in the Warren strand of The Conjuring Universe for so long.

Just because a film says it's "based on true events" doesn't mean it's true. For instance, just because it depicts an exorcism that really took place doesn't mean demons, ghosts, black magic et al actually exist.

As charismatic as Wilson and Farmiga are as the Warrens, I can't help but feel, personally, that I'd enjoy these particular tales with wholly fictional participants, so the clash of crass reality and glossy fantasy wasn't so distracting.

All that aside, like other entries in the Conjuring Universe, The Devil Made Me Do It is really well-made and, under the steady hand of director Michael Chaves, it rattles through its 112-minute runtime without any bloat.

Emerald Gordon Wulf: Now this is real!

The unsung hero, though, of The Devil Made Me Do It is the incredible contortionist Emerald Gordon Wulf, who doubled for David Glatzel during the exorcism scene and pulled off some unbelievably terrifying physical twists and turns that should have won her an Oscar for those moments alone.

These physical portrayals of the horrors of demonic possession - rather than using elastic CGI - make those scenes so much more impactful and were certainly the stand-out action beats of the movie.

By the look of things, the next - and final - Warren-centric Conjuring film (Last Rites) is reverting to the more traditional haunted house format, as the self-proclaimed "demonologists" take on the Smurl haunting.

So, that's good news.

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

One of the things I appreciated about The Conjuring is that it relies almost as much on building atmosphere and tension as it does on cheap jump scares.

And The Conjuring 2 sticks to that formula very successfully.

Even with its two hour and 14 minute duration (about a half hour longer than the original) it surprisingly never outstays its welcome.

And is, perhaps, even better than the first movie as it's more willing to embrace its cinematic nature and have fun with what that offers.

By shoehorning the '70s demonologist Warrens into a "real life" hoax that, at best, they were only actually peripherally involved with, has allowed director James Wan and his co-writers Chad Hayes, Carey W. Hayes, and David Leslie Johnson, to go 'full Hollywood' on this one.

They even throw in some demonic entities of their own creation that proved to be suitable for spinning-off into their own movies (e.g. The Nun) as The Conjuring Universe expanded.

While simultaneously focusing on a family in Enfield, London, troubled by an entity that has possessed the youngest daughter, Janet (Madison Wolfe), The Conjuring 2 also follows would-be ghostbusters Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) and Ed Warren (Patrick Wilson) as they come off the back of investigating the legendary Amityville haunting (which introduces the figure of The Nun, portrayed by Bonnie Aarons, into the movie's mythology).

A vision of Ed's impending death convinces Lorraine that they should give up this life of theirs, and they appear to be entertaining that thought until they're called in by the Catholic church to investigate the haunting in Enfield.

Dipping into the same catalogue of clichés as The Conjuring, The Conjuring 2 is essentially telling a very, very, very similar - if not identical story - with spirits targeting children, sleepwalking, creaking doors, inanimate objects moving and behaving strangely, thumping and banging sounds, mysterious injuries, spooky images in reflective surfaces etc

However, there's an extra layer to this sequel that adds a depth to the simplistic storytelling, spinning a visually-engaging demon-fighting story out of a piece of fiction that has been sold as fact to gullible souls.

Having that element of "based on a true story" (even if that so-called true story was make-believe) certainly adds a frisson of extra chills to The Conjuring films, but there's also no sense that the filmmakers feel bound by this here as it goes way-beyond the documented allegations, almost into Poltergeist territory.

Ultimately, if anything, like the original movie, this portrayal of the Warrens as 'soldiers of God' reminds me more of the Winchester family in Supernatural than anything else.

But that's not a bad thing. I'm still enjoying Supernatural after 13 seasons, I'm positive I could enjoy plenty more on-screen adventures for the Warrens.

The Conjuring (2013)

As promised, I have begun my trawl through the murky world of The Conjuring Universe, kicking off with the titular movie that started it all back in 2013.

Showcasing what it is claimed to be the most shocking case investigated by professional 'demonologists' Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) and Ed Warren (Patrick Wilson), The Conjuring focuses primarily on a working class family, the Perrons, who invest all their money in a dream house in the country only to find they are sharing it with a malevolent demonic entity.

It's all very formulaic stuff (supernatural shit happens to family, family suffers, family calls in experts, supernatural shit escalates, experts drive it out at the last moment) that we've seen a million times before, from The Haunting to Poltergeist and beyond.

The set-up is little different to the many variations on the tired Amityville story and any number of other 'haunted house' tales that don't make bogus claims of being based on "real events".

That said, The Conjuring is very well made (and gets very LOUD during it climactic demonic confrontation), has charismatic leads in Wilson and Bates Motel's Farmiga, and is already laying the groundwork for a wider "universe" by the very nature of its main characters having a plentiful casebook of adventures to explore.

Being set in the '70s gives The Conjuring a nice period feel as well, and the roleplayers among us appreciate the Warrens methodical approach to their job, coming as it does straight out of the Call Of Cthulhu playbook.

But what really makes this an interesting movie is the sequence where the demonic force the Warrens are facing in the Perron's house uses a connection to Lorraine to 'activate' a totally unrelated entity back in the Warren's home - in their room of artefacts - the infamous Annabelle doll (whose story helps establish the Warren's bona fides at the start of The Conjuring).

In truth, this sub-plot has almost no bearing whatsoever on the main narrative, but provides a unique distraction the like of which I don't recall seeing in previous genre pieces of this ilk.

While the real Warrens were charlatans and con artists (or worst), the fictional Ed and Lorraine, because they exist in a cinematic universe where demons, ghosts, black magic etc are real, are true defenders of humanity worthy of joining the ranks of comic books' John Constantine and TV's Winchester brothers (from Supernatural).

I'd give The Conjuring a solid seven out of ten. It's not original by any stretch of the imagination, but it has some interesting moments, and by taking seriously the fantastical fabrications of the Warrens director James 'Aquaman' Wan and writers Chad Hayes and Carey W Hayes have tapped into a rich seam of stories and created an intriguing cinematic world that has the legs to expand beyond a single movie.

If Superheroes Can Share Universes, Why Not Horror Films?

Conjuring Universe graphic by Jarvisrama99

The idea of a "shared horror universe" may have faltered with Universal's Dark Universe, but that approached the scenario from the wrong direction (establishing that there was a 'shared universe' then expecting audiences to automatically care).

The Conjuring franchise, on the other hand, popped out sequels, prequels, and spin-offs at a steady rate for several years - which people are obviously grokking - so confirming a "shared universe" was the next logical step.

I'll confess that for the longest time I'd never given them the time of day because I have problems with lauding real-life charlatans (Ed and Lorraine Warren) as 'heroes' in the fight against the (fictional) supernatural or giving credence to nonsense like the so-called Enfield Haunting.

It's one thing to enjoy the world of ghosts and ghoulies as the make-believe thrill-rides that good horror stories are, but when you start preying on the gullible and telling them this balloon juice is real then I have problems.

That's not to say I wouldn't relish really living in a world of "gods and monsters" (although I'd take "comic book superheroes" first if there's a choice), but I know they're just stories.

Mini-rant aside, this featurette promoting The Nun and - by extension - The Conjuring Universe, has actually piqued my interest in these movies, so I plan to revisit the ones I have on my shelf and give them a spin.

NB. The cinematic Warrens' arc (Phase One, to borrow MCU nomenclature?) supposedly wraps up in September's The Conjuring: Last Rites, but let's hope The Conjuring Universe continues with more monster-centric spin-offs and perhaps some new "heroes" coming to the fore. 

The Case That Ended It All: Last Rites - First Trailer

The Conjuring: Last Rites, directed by franchise veteran Michael Chaves and produced by franchise architects James Wan and Peter Safran.

The Conjuring: Last Rites delivers another thrilling chapter of the iconic Conjuring cinematic universe, based on real events. Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson reunite for one last case as renowned, real-life paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren in a powerful and spine-chilling addition to the global box office-breaking franchise.

Farmiga and Wilson star alongside Mia Tomlinson and Ben Hardy, who portray Ed and Lorraine’s daughter Judy Warren and her boyfriend, Tony Spera, as well as Steve Coulter returning as Father Gordon, Rebecca Calder, Elliot Cowan, Kíla Lord Cassidy, Beau Gadsdon, John Brotherton and Shannon Kook.

Moonfall (2022)

When the Moon suddenly shifts from its orbit and enters a death spiral towards Earth, mankind's only hope rests with washed-up, disgraced astronaut Brian Harper (The Conjuring's Patrick Wilson), NASA executive Jocinda Fowler (Halle Berry), and conspiracy theorist KC Houseman (Game of Thrones' John Bradley).

It turns out the problem is caused by an alien A.I. entity buried deep beneath the lunar surface, and only by defeating this can the Moon return to its normal trajectory.

In the midst of global chaos, with the support of a collapsing government, our heroes manage to salvage an old space shuttle from a museum for their 'Hail Mary' mission.

Moonfall is glorious nonsense, a 1950's "bad science" B-movie (or a ropey Asylum mockbuster) brought to life with the best 21st Century special effects money can buy and writ across a grand canvas.

It should come as no surprise to learn that this modern masterpiece is the work of writer/director Roland Emmerich, the creator of such wonderful comfort movies as The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day, and 2012.

Emmerich definitely draws on these earlier works to inspire the non-stop action that drives the plot forward with a breathless momentum, but the  final act goes full-on Ancient Aliens-meets-The Matrix-and-2001: A Space Odyssey.

While all the weird science stuff is unfolding in space, there's a B-plot on Earth involving Harper's delinquent son, Sonny (Charlie Plummer), Fowler's young kid Jimmy (Zayn Maloney), and au pair Michelle (Kelly Yu) racing across disintegrating landscapes to find shelter from the impending apocalypse.

I'll be honest, initially, I thought I could have done without this "human interest" sub-plot, however along the way it boasted a lot of Emmerich's recurring tropes and was all the better for it. 

But it was the bonkers main storyline that truly made the whole two-hour film worthwhile.

The film knows it's totally over-the-top and ridiculous, but I love the fact that Emmerich has ensured that the script and cast take the subject matter seriously, never allowing it to lapse into easy parody.

While there are a handful of laugh-out-loud one-liners, the entire cast deserve all the awards for delivering their lines with a straight face.

Moonfall isn't Oscar bait, but then it was never intended to be. This is pure, adrenalin-fuelled entertainment of the highest calibre.

Thank the heavens for Roland Emmerich, continuing to make these epic, standalone, sci-fi disaster popcorn blockbusters.

As much as I enjoy franchise movies and earnest art films, every so often the old brain needs to kick back and relax with something that demands little beyond our simple attention and delivers a visual treat that's just plain and simple fun.

The Monkey (2025)

Having been abandoned by their father, twin brothers Hal and Bill Shelburn (both played by Christian Convery) are searching through the junk he left behind and discover a creepy-looking, wind-up, drum-playing toy monkey.

Very quickly the young boys realise that by turning the key, and setting the monkey drumming, random people in their environs start to die in statistically improbable ways.

Unfortunately, one of those people is their mother, Lois (She-Hulk's Tatiana Maslany), which drives the final wedge between the constantly-feuding twins.

Twenty-five years later, the monkey returns to plague Hal's (Theo James of The Time Traveler's Wife) life, but now - even though he has cut himself off from pretty much everyone - he fears this force of evil might harm his own son, Petey (Colin O'Brien).

Petey is being raised by Hal's ex-wife (Project Blue Book's Laura Mennell) and her new husband, self-help guru Ted (Lord of The Rings' Elijah Wood), who is going to adopt Petey and excise Hal from the boy's life completely.

Thus, Hal has a final week to spend with his son before losing him to Ted.

Learning that the aunt who raised him and Bill after their mother's death has also died in a "freak accident", Hal hopes to track down the monkey - and finally destroy it - when he returns to her house, with Petey in tow, to deal with the disposal of the estate.

However, this just sets in motion a series of violent events around Hal that end up in a reunion with his twin (also played by Theo James).

Bill has been driven insane by his involvement with the cursed monkey, and now sees its magical power as a route to a kind of immortality, regardless of the cost to others.

Based on a Stephen King short story, produced by James Wan (of Saw and The Conjuring fame), and written for the screen by director Osgood Perkins (who also wrote and directed Longlegs), The Monkey is a gloriously gory dark comedy and meditation on the randomness - and inevitability - of death.

Except for its drumming, the mysterious monkey is never seen moving (Bill claims it "teleports") which gives this absurdist Grand Guignol a distinct flavouring of the Annabelle movies blended with the Final Destination franchise.

The very definition of weird fiction, there are no easy answers to explain the enigmatic animatronics' origin or abilities, and no pat resolution to Hal's troubles... but that's rather the point. 

Full of mesmerising, bizarre and creative kills, The Monkey clearly aims to challenge its audience whether to laugh out loud or squirm and wretch as it segues from set piece to set piece.

More shocking than scary, this wonderful film is an over-the-top, blood-soaked rollercoaster that doesn't let up for its 97-minute duration. 

MONSTER MAYHEM: Tarot (2024)

A clichéd group of generic college students have AirBnB-ed a spooky mansion in the Catskills for a drunken (yet, admittedly, rather tame) birthday party for one of their number: Elise (Larsen Thompson).

Low on drink, the group search the house and discover - behind a "keep out" sign - a basement reminiscent of the Warren's 'storeroom of evil' from The Conjuring franchise.

Of course, the kids poke around. Of course, they find a deck of creepy, hand-drawn tarot cards in a wooden box. Of course, one of the students - Haley (Harriet Slater, aka Fran from Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny) - knows how to do readings.

Breaking the 'golden rule' of tarot (that you don't use someone else's deck), Haley does tarot readings - tied to the subject's horoscope - for all her friends and herself.

They all have a good chuckle, except Haley's ex-boyfriend Grant (Wrong Turn's Adain Bradley), and then settle down for the night.

After a long drive back to the university, the gang all go their separate ways... and that's when the killing starts.

Elise is the first to die, then Lucas (Wolfgang Novogratz).

Only then do the survivors realise that their friends are being bumped off in ways that are literal interpretations of Haley's vague, metaphorical tarot card readings.

Searching for answers online, the first name their Google search throws up is a discredited - and kooky - expert called Alma Astrom (Olwen Fouéré, the most recent Texas Chainsaw Massacre's Sally Hardesty).

Alma, of course, knows all about this cursed deck of tarot cards and their origin, and even has a personal connection to the cards - as a survivor of a similar murder spree to the one our protagonists are caught up in.

In a nutshell, the cards were cursed by a Hungarian peasant - known only as The Astrologer - who transferred her essence into the cards so she could kill any who receive a reading from them.

Now, our heroes have to find a way to remove the curse before too many of them are brutally slaughtered by The Astrologer's manifestations of the demonic forms she drew on the Major Arcana.

Written and directed by Spenser Cohen and Anna Halberg - based on the 1992 novel Horrorscope by Nicholas Adams - Tarot feels like an '80s throwback, direct-to-VHS, monster flick.

However, as the film is really on-the-nose with its unsubtle, supposedly spinetingling, goings-on it also comes across as a parody of the genre for the most part.

The characters are so two-dimensional that we can't really get invested in their fates beyond a surface level, yet - for some reason - all the kills (essentially the 'selling point' for this kind of teen flick) are either off-camera or overly shy about showing anything resembling gore.

The script oscillates between wanting to be the foundation of a serious horror franchise, stylistically suggesting Final Destination and Nightmare on Elm Street during its 92-minute runtime, and being a tongue-in-cheek send-up of the same.

As the plot gets increasingly silly, characters are forced to exposit about how these unconvincing twists could actually have happened, which compounds the suggestion that this really could be a parody.

To be fair, Tarot isn't awful (we've all seen a lot worse), but the most terrifying thing about this would-be horror movie is its mediocrity.