THROWBACK THURSDAY: Places Wot I Lived In

During my 50th birthday weekend return to Bournemouth (as covered last week), Paul was able to direct us to all the old houses we had stayed in during our three-year stint as students (20 years earlier!).

Above you can see the former guest house that I was billeted in during my first term (we were assigned accommodation initially by the university, but as mature students - I was 28 at the time - we were sent out into the sticks, stuck in random guest houses or family homes who liked the extra income).

In this first term, Paul was in a family home on the other side of the graveyard opposite my guest house.

After that first term, a few of us got together and moved to "Len & Jenny's house" - called that after the landlords. 

Len & Jenny's

Len and Jenny's was an old, cold, house, with a dark green Victorian colour scheme. I had the downstairs room (which necessitated me sleeping in an old jumper and a track suit most nights to stay warm).

Eventually we moved to our final house, which was a five-minute walk from university (hooray!). Although the rooms were allocated by lots, I was allowed to take the master bedroom - which you can see below, peeking over the hedge - which was gorgeous, bright and airy.

I posted pictures of my surprisingly neat room back in January.

The best house we stayed in...

And as a little bonus to our jaunt down memory lane, Paul and I were able to point out to Rachel the barber's shop, just round the corner from our final house, where we had got frequent haircuts.

Sadly, it appears to have (possibly only recently) finally gone out of business.

Yes, we did...

The Case That Ended It All: Last Rites - First Trailer

The Conjuring: Last Rites, directed by franchise veteran Michael Chaves and produced by franchise architects James Wan and Peter Safran.

The Conjuring: Last Rites delivers another thrilling chapter of the iconic Conjuring cinematic universe, based on real events. Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson reunite for one last case as renowned, real-life paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren in a powerful and spine-chilling addition to the global box office-breaking franchise.

Farmiga and Wilson star alongside Mia Tomlinson and Ben Hardy, who portray Ed and Lorraine’s daughter Judy Warren and her boyfriend, Tony Spera, as well as Steve Coulter returning as Father Gordon, Rebecca Calder, Elliot Cowan, Kíla Lord Cassidy, Beau Gadsdon, John Brotherton and Shannon Kook.

The Singing Ringing Tree (1957)

What makes a film into a horror movie? Is it intent alone? Or something more?

For many people, growing up in a pre-Internet age when television choices were limited, screenings of the 1950's German fairy tale, The Singing Ringing Tree were the stuff of nightmares.

You only have to look for reviews online and you will come across countless people saying how they were mentally scarred by this creepy tale (even the DVD case - pictured above - proudly boasts that it "haunted a generation").

I knew of this film by reputation and had seen stills, even black and white clips on YouTube, but my partner-in-horror Paul was one of that "haunted" generation and that's why he felt The Singing Ringing Tree would be an appropriate, if rather unusual, choice for one of our horror movie screenings.

He'd acquired the DVD recently, but hadn't watched the movie since he saw it as a child.

Filmed entirely in a studio, in garish Technicolor, with a minimal cast, there's immediately an otherworldliness to this very loose adaptation of a lesser-known Brothers Grimm tale, Hurleburlebutz.

A prince (Eckart Dux) rides up to a castle to court the snooty princess (Christel Bodenstein), but she says she will only marry him if he fetches her the mythical Singing Ringing Tree.

Travelling the land looking for the tree, he discovers a cave to Fairyland, where a wicked dwarf (Richard Krüger) gives him the tree, on the condition that if the princess still rejects him the prince will be enthralled to the dwarf.

Richard Krüger as The Wicked Dwarf

Unsurprisingly, things don't work out for the prince and he ends up transformed into a bear.

The princess, having been kidnapped by the bear, is then cursed so her features reflect her dark soul and so on.

The story of The Singing Ringing Tree is very problematic from the get-go.

The prince only seeks the princess's hand in marriage because he feels that's what he's supposed to do. He's never met her before and he hasn't been sent by his father, for instance.

Conversely, the princess is a horrible person, and not only did Paul and I both agree the prince could better, we also agreed that - by modern tastes - when her features were supposedly "cursed" she actually got better looking with her green hair!

Then there is the magical, Puckish, dwarf, who I believe is the central nightmare figure that most younger viewers were "haunted" by.

He's a bizarrely conflicted antagonist in that he immediately hands the prince the method of his (the dwarf's) own destruction when he freely gives the film's protagonist the Singing Ringing Tree.

Then every step along the prince's journey - when the dwarf throws obstacles in the path of the prince and princess - he is also providing them with a method to overcome part of their curse.

The dwarf would have been better served not getting involved at all. But clearly he couldn't help himself.

And it has to be said, again when viewed through the eyes of 21st Century middle-aged men, there's nothing particularly scary or disturbing about the character of the dwarf - he is simply malicious and evil.

I suspect, because society was generally more insular and not exposed to foreign films and TV as much as we are today, it was largely down to the strange appearance of the whole production (check out the heavy eye make-up on the stag-horned horse, for instance!), as much as the dwarf himself. He was just one of the more memorable characters from the 74-minute production.

The whole story is obviously designed to educate children on the benefits of bettering themselves through kindness and consideration for others, which is okay, except for the fact that the giant fish the princess saves is then left to suffocate at the bottom of a ravine when the dwarf drains the water away!

A definite product of its time, The Singing Ringing Tree is quirky and alien.

The effects are obviously dated, now more resembling a staged pantomime than a fantasy film.

I have no clue what children today would make of it (and Paul drew a line at sitting his girls down in front of it as an "experiment"), but I do think those who claim to have been scarred by it in the past should possibly revisit it and discover it really isn't the nightmare fuel their minds have moulded it into over the years.

Jason's Back At Work!

Peter Santa-Maria's Mondo Poster for Sweet Revenge

A group of teenagers arrives in Crystal Lake Camp but one thing they don't know about this place is they were being stalked and mysteriously killed by a mysterious serial killer who's out there for revenge.

Jason Voorhees is back next month in Sweet Revenge, a 13-minute "vignette" premiering on the Jason Universe YouTube channel on August 13 (a Wednesday not a Friday).

This is not a fan film. Directed by Wrong Turn's Mike P Nelson, this short marks Jason's first official live-action appearance since the 2009 reboot and will play a pivotal role in the resurrected franchise's 45th anniversary celebrations.

Rather oddly though it's also an advertisement for some American cider company, so is this how the "new" Jason is welcomed into the world? Check out this 11 minute dissection of the situation from RealLifeRyan, who has a better handle on the state of the Jason Universe than I do. 

Sweet Revenge is presumably a precursor to the forthcoming prequel A24/Peacock series Crystal Lake as well. This TV show is due to arrive next year and stars the wonderful Linda Cardellini as Jason's mother, Pamela Voorhees.

Moonfall (2022)

When the Moon suddenly shifts from its orbit and enters a death spiral towards Earth, mankind's only hope rests with washed-up, disgraced astronaut Brian Harper (The Conjuring's Patrick Wilson), NASA executive Jocinda Fowler (Halle Berry), and conspiracy theorist KC Houseman (Game of Thrones' John Bradley).

It turns out the problem is caused by an alien A.I. entity buried deep beneath the lunar surface, and only by defeating this can the Moon return to its normal trajectory.

In the midst of global chaos, with the support of a collapsing government, our heroes manage to salvage an old space shuttle from a museum for their 'Hail Mary' mission.

Moonfall is glorious nonsense, a 1950's "bad science" B-movie (or a ropey Asylum mockbuster) brought to life with the best 21st Century special effects money can buy and writ across a grand canvas.

It should come as no surprise to learn that this modern masterpiece is the work of writer/director Roland Emmerich, the creator of such wonderful comfort movies as The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day, and 2012.

Emmerich definitely draws on these earlier works to inspire the non-stop action that drives the plot forward with a breathless momentum, but the  final act goes full-on Ancient Aliens-meets-The Matrix-and-2001: A Space Odyssey.

While all the weird science stuff is unfolding in space, there's a B-plot on Earth involving Harper's delinquent son, Sonny (Charlie Plummer), Fowler's young kid Jimmy (Zayn Maloney), and au pair Michelle (Kelly Yu) racing across disintegrating landscapes to find shelter from the impending apocalypse.

I'll be honest, initially, I thought I could have done without this "human interest" sub-plot, however along the way it boasted a lot of Emmerich's recurring tropes and was all the better for it. 

But it was the bonkers main storyline that truly made the whole two-hour film worthwhile.

The film knows it's totally over-the-top and ridiculous, but I love the fact that Emmerich has ensured that the script and cast take the subject matter seriously, never allowing it to lapse into easy parody.

While there are a handful of laugh-out-loud one-liners, the entire cast deserve all the awards for delivering their lines with a straight face.

Moonfall isn't Oscar bait, but then it was never intended to be. This is pure, adrenalin-fuelled entertainment of the highest calibre.

Thank the heavens for Roland Emmerich, continuing to make these epic, standalone, sci-fi disaster popcorn blockbusters.

As much as I enjoy franchise movies and earnest art films, every so often the old brain needs to kick back and relax with something that demands little beyond our simple attention and delivers a visual treat that's just plain and simple fun.

It's Been Too Long, But Spartacus Is Back!

House of Ashur will be a history-bending, erotic, thrilling, roller-coaster experience that builds on everything that made the original series a colossal hit.

The series poses the question: what if Ashur (Nick Tarabay), hadn’t died on Mount Vesuvius at the end of Spartacus: Vengeance? And what if he had been gifted the gladiator school once owned by Batiatus in return for aiding the Romans in killing Spartacus and putting an end to the slave rebellion?

Conan The Barbarian Hits His Quarter-Century

Painted wraparound cover for by Alex Horley

The blockbuster Conan The Barbarian comic, from Titan and Heroic Signatures, releases its landmark 25th issue this October.

To mark the occasion, this issue will be a 48-page, standalon King Conan adventure from celebrated Conan scribe Jim Zub, fully painted by Alex Horley.

In his weekly newsletter, Zub stated:

"Solicits and preview pages are making the rounds and it’s so nice to be able to show people some of the jaw-dropping work I’ve been staring in awe at since Alex and I started working on this epic back in September of last year.

"This issue is my first King Conan story, it’s a self-contained adventure, and it’s a fist-pumping sword-swinging celebration of our series – past, present, and future."

He added:

"And just as a reminder – Conan the Barbarian will keep going after issue #25! I know a lot of current comic series seem to be getting cancelled or constantly relaunched, but we are going strong and our latest issues have defied typical attrition patterns and are going up in sales.

"There are many more adventures to come as long as readers and retailers keep supporting the series the way they have so far."

Fully-painted preview of interior artwork by Alex Horley

At last weekend's San Diego Comic-Con, it was also revealed that the popularity of Patrick Zircher's recent Solomon Kane mini-series means a second series is coming next year; and a new title called Savage Sword: Reforged is being launched, reprinting select stories from the original black and white Marvel run of Savage Sword of Conan but in colour.

A sample of Barry Windsor-Smith's coloured art from The Frost-Giant's Daughter

The first issue of Reforged comes with a choice of covers:

A new podcast, called Legends of Conan, was mentioned; Jim Zub hinted at his four-year plan (with annual 'event' pillars) for Conan The Barbarian, including the arc in issues 26 to 28 which will show how Conan became the king of Aquilonia; and a forthcoming, brand new Kull comic book series was also announced during the busy Heroic Signatures panel.

It's a great time to be a comic book-reading fan of the creations of Robert E Howard!

Art tease from Patrick Zircher's next Solomon Kane miniseries

How Far Will You Go?

Ouija (2014)

When their daughter unexpectedly kills herself, Debbie Galardi's (Shelley Hennig) parents move away, leaving their home in the care of Debbie's best friend, Laine Morris (Olivia Cooke).

Laine can't find it in herself to say goodbye to her best friend and so convinces a handful of other teens to join her in playing with a 'spirit board' (aka a ouija board) to try and contact Debbie. This is a game Laine and Debbie played as kids and she knows it isn't real, but just needs some form of closure.

However, when the gaggle of teenagers are gathered in Debbie's old house they do make contact through the board and when greeted with the message "Hi Friend", they believe they've reached Debbie. Unfortunately, they've actually connected with the ghost of a child murdered in the house decades earlier.

And, naturally, things spiral out of control from there.

There's a fairly decent backstory to the main plot of Ouija, but ultimately the film devolves into typical, trashy, teen pop horror because the writers fail to nail down any logic to the ghosts' powers and behaviour, instead letting them do whatever the filmmakers' think will generate a good jump scare.

Even the presence of the brilliant Olivia Cooke, who gets saddled with some contortedly corny lines that she manages to deliver with conviction nonetheless, can't save this effort from being all about the flash, rather than the substance.

Another wasted talent in the flick is Lin Shaye (of Insidious and other horror flick fame) who pops up as the batty sister of the murdered child; there's never any sense that she's doing anything more than reciting her lines.

It was also great to see Shelley Hennig again, a face I haven't seen since The Secret Circle disappeared off our TV screens several years ago (we have yet to be allowed to see the seasons of Teen Wolf where Shelley shows up).

However, while her fellow Secret Circle alumnae Jessica Parker Kennedy was owning it in Black Sails at this time, Shelley's role in Ouija - despite some unexpected appearances towards the end of the tale - isn't that rounded.

The film has its moments, but ultimately Ouija is a missed opportunity to craft a solid ghost story around the Victorian hokum of spirit boards.

If only more thought had been put into the internal logic of the piece and less on creating the next 'oh-so-clever' jump scare, Ouija could have elevated itself above its popcorn status into a decent horror film.

Come (To Derry) and Get IT!

First Class Trailer for Starfleet Academy

Star Trek: Starfleet Academy follows the adventures of a new class of cadets in one of the most legendary places in the galaxy. Under the watchful and demanding eyes of their instructors, they will discover what it takes to become Starfleet officers as they navigate blossoming friendships, explosive rivalries, first loves and a new enemy that threatens both the Academy and the Federation itself.

Starring Sandro Rosta, Karim Diané, Kerrice Brooks, George Hawkins, Bella Shepard, and Zoë Steiner, as well as Holly Hunter, who plays the captain and chancellor of Starfleet Academy. Additional cast members include Tig Notaro and Robert Picardo, reprising their roles as Jett Reno and The Doctor, and guest stars Oded Fehr and Mary Wiseman, reprising their roles as Admiral Vance and Sylvia Tilly, as well as recurring guest stars Gina Yashere and Paul Giamatti.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds is my favourite "modern" Trek, and I love the fact that it's continuing to embrace the "weird" that I associate with the original and best Star Trek from the 1960s.

Rabid (2019)

After an argument with her best friend, vegetarian wallflower and aspiring fashion designer Rose (Laura Vandervoort aka Smallville's Supergirl) is hideously disfigured in a road traffic accident.

During her recuperation, she learns of an experimental private medical centre, run by the not-at-all-sinister Dr William (yes, I see what they did there) Burroughs (Ted Atherton).

After undergoing cutting-edge stem cell treatment and remarkable restorative plastic surgery, Rose emerges full-on Vandervoort gorgeous.

However, upon returning home, she is troubled by crippling stomach pains and increasingly gruesome nightmares.

Unfortunately, for everyone she comes into contact with, they are not nightmares and she is actually patient zero for an outbreak of superfast, mutated rabies which spreads through the city like wildfire.

A retelling of David Cronenberg's original 1977 body horror classic, Jen and Sylvia Soska‘s Rabid is a phenomenal and shocking tale that takes its audience to some surprising places along its visceral journey.

Featuring everything from Lovecraftian mad science to unstoppable plague zombies, this ticks a lot of boxes for me.

As the mayhem escalates - with the mutated strain of rabies engulfing the city - there's almost an In The Mouth Of Madness level of existential dread, which is then compounded by the film's bleak denouement.

The not-too-subtle critique of body-shaming and vanity is wryly amusing, with several of the supporting roles teetering on the brink of being arch.

Nicely paced and cleverly shot, blurring hallucinations (such as the Silent Hill/music video sequence) with gruesome reality, the action in Rabid may take some time to get going but the central performances never fail to draw the audience in.

As well as a number of the characters carrying over their names from the original, the Soska Sisters's Rabid is sprinkled with Cronenberg-related Easter Eggs, such as the use of  the name of William Burroughs alluding to Cronenberg's adaptation of his famous novel Naked Lunch and the red surgical gowns worn during Rose's operation are a clear nod to Jeremy Irons's gowns in Dead Ringers.

The Complete Timeline Of The Fantastic Four

This video looks at all the complete publishing history of the Fantastic Four from its beginning in 1961 to modern times. It highlights the major developments, changes in creative teams and why the title has stopped and started numerous times over the last six decades.

Another quality feature from the marvellous Strange Brain Parts, the erudite king of comic book analysis on YouTube.

This 13-minute film breaks down the various incarnations of the main Fantastic Four title, since their creation by Stan Lee and Jack Lee, right up to the modern Ryan North era. It also offers some suggested "jumping on" points for newcomers to the title.

The Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025)

I've been reading the Fantastic Four for over 50 years and have seen all the previous movies (even the unreleased Roger Corman version), but the latest offering from the official Marvel Cinematic Universe is - beyond a shadow of a doubt - the most comic book accurate to date.

Taking place on an alternate Earth to the main Earth-616 of the MCU, Fantastic Four: First Steps introduces us to the planet's heroes - Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic (The Mandalorian's Pedro Pascal), his wife Sue Storm/The Invisible Woman (Napoleon's Vanessa Kirby), Sue's brother Johnny Storm/The Human Torch (Stranger Things' Joseph Quinn), and family friend Ben Grimm/The Thing (The Bear's Ebon Moss-Bachrach).

In fast order, a chat show - hosted by Mark Gatiss - summarises the team's origin story and gives us a good look at the retro-futuristic 1960's world the team inhabit.

Soon after Sue reveals to the team that she's pregnant, Earth-828 is visited by the alien herald known as the Silver Surfer (Ozark's Julia Garner) to tell everyone that the planet has been selected as the next meal for the ever-hungry extraterrestrial "god" known as Galactus (The Witch's Ralph Ineson).

Naturally, Reed and co. want to prevent this and travel back out into space to try and negotiate with Galactus. 

The incomprehensible space kaiju, seated in his cyclopean planet-devouring spaceship, offers them a trade: it will spare the Earth if Reed and Sue give him their child, who Galactus says is a powerful cosmic being and the only creature that can take his place.

Of course, the Fantastic Four refuse this deal and head back to Earth, with the Silver Surfer and Galactus in pursuit across the vast expanse of space.

Once home, the people of Earth are initially angry at our heroes for turning down the offer that would have saved them all, but nevertheless the Fantastic Four knuckle down and try to come up with a scheme to dispose of Galactus and save the world.

With influences from classic science fiction films such as 2001: A Space Odyssey and numerous period B-movies, Fantastic Four: First Steps has more of a pure pulpy sci-fi feel than any previous MCU offering and, to my tastes, is all the better for it.

Kudos to director Matt Shakman (of WandaVision fame) and scriptwriters Josh Friedman, Eric Pearson, Jeff Kaplan and Ian Springer, for channelling the spirit of the original Fantastic Four comics by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby (there's a lovely explanation at the end of the credits tying Kirby to the choice of Earth designation).

I might have tweaked the look of a couple of the supporting members of the cast, but that's trivial compared to how much of First Steps is just so right in the eyes of this life-long Fantastic Four fan.

I cannot stress enough how "comic book" this film is. I nearly cried a number of times because it was so perfect, and the rest of the time I was either grinning from ear-to-ear or my jaw was on the floor from the sheer awesomeness and grandeur unfolding before me. 

For my money - although I'm obviously biased - Fantastic Four: First Steps is the best Marvel movie yet, perfectly encapsulating why I've always loved this team of characters as well as dropping multiple breadcrumbs and potential plot hooks for future movies.

We're going to have to wait until the end of next year and the release of Avengers: Doomsday though before we see the team again.

Although I can't wait for the home video release and the film's appearance on Disney Plus to watch it again... and again... and again.

I'd booked cinema tickets for Rachel and I to see Fantastic Four: First Steps weeks ago, prior to the whole "losing the power to walk" nonsense, but a kind attendant in the foyer of The Odeon (Tunbridge Wells) today swapped them for two spots in the third row. One was a place for me to park my chair, the other was an adjacent sofa seat for Rachel.

Naturally, she turned it into a comfortable bed and slept through about an hour in the middle of the movie - as is her wont. 

Rachel on her comfy sofa, next to me in my wheelchair slot

Having spied some Fantastic Four-themed merch on the way in, after the movie I was directed to the food counter where I was able to order an empty drink container and popcorn bucket (not that I eat popcorn).

Rachel had agreed to pay for these treats, but we both realised my "schoolboy error" in ordering them without asking the price. Both items were way more expensive than we'd naively imagined, but Rachel kindly got them for me anyway.

Back home, showing off my unexpectedly expensive Fantastic Four merch

Weird World War Horror Awakens On Monster Island

After being torpedoed by allied submarines, a Japanese soldier and a British POW are stranded on a deserted island and soon discover that they’re being hunted by a ferocious mythological creature, the Orang Ikan. Monster Island aka Orang Ikan drops today (Friday, July 25) on Shudder.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: To Bournemouth And Back

Paul and I outside our alma mater

For my 50th birthday, back in 2016, Paul arranged with Rachel for the three of us to make a flying visit back to Bournemouth, where Paul and I had gone to university, studying Scriptwriting for Film and TV.

Alice was dropped off with Rachel's parents, the neighbours agreed to look after Barney, and we were off.

We rendezvoused with Paul (who'd travelled down from London by train, while we drove from Tonbridge) at our wonderful seafront hotel, then went round the corner to an old Beatles-themed café where we had lunch.

After that we headed to Poole, so I could I could pick up my latest shipment of comics from Andy at Paradox Comics, before heading back towards Bournemouth.

We dropped in to the main university campus, to have a drink at the student union (Dylan's) and a wander round, to show Rachel where we'd been "educated".

Not only were we slightly baffled by the lack of the students (or the fact that nobody asked us who we were and why we were wandering round) but also by the ease with which we wandered in and out of several lecture theatres!

Paul had phoned ahead to clear our visit, but neither the security guards nor the bar staff at Dylan's batted an eyelid as we sauntered in, or asked to see any ID.

Our next stop was the town centre Wetherspoon's The Moon In The Square - for drinks and a meal - that we had frequented often as students, before ending the evening with a beverage at O'Neills (another favourite haunt from our days on the south coast).

In O'Neills there appeared to be a band setting up, so - although there was nowhere to sit - I said I was quite keen to stay and see a live show.

However, the band spent, what felt like, about an hour going through their sound check, played half a song and walked off. It was most peculiar. Whether they actually got round to ever playing a full song, or even a set, we'll never know as we'd finished our drinks and decided to head back to the hotel.

On Sunday, it was an all-you-eat fry-up at the hotel before we drove out to the "suburbs" to see where we'd lived all those years ago.

We then dropped Paul off at the railway station and headed home ourselves (stopping off to pick up Alice on the way).

Although there had been a lot of improvements made to Bournemouth in the 20 years since we lived there, what was really noticeable on the Saturday evening and night was the paucity of obvious students.

There were stag parties, locals and tourists, but we didn't see more than a handful of students (even at Dylan's) until we passed a mammoth queue on Sunday morning outside the town centre student union venue (The Old Fire Station) which was hosting a vintage clothes sale!

It was a great weekend, full of some incredible reminiscing and the usual mix of anecdotes and BS. Instead of making me feel like an old man (even though the phrase "well, that was 20 years ago" got a lot of airings), it actually, for a moment, made me feel young again.

I have great friends!

Childish conversations in The Moon In The Square

Rachel enjoying her wine in The Moon In The Square

Broadcast Signal Intrusion (2021)

Chicago, 1999. Video archivist James (Glee's Harry Shum Jr), haunted by the disappearance of his wife Hanna, stumbles across a surreal, nightmarish, clip of a "broadcast signal intrusion" - a mysterious pirate hack of a televised signal.

Fascinated, he starts to dig deeper, learning that these signal hacks are extremely rare and the authorities have managed to track down those responsible for all except for the one that initially triggered James's interest. 

He discovers that not only was this one of a pair of known intrusions, but there was possibly a third as well.

Mixed up with all this is the fact that a woman supposedly disappeared, probably kidnapped and maybe murdered, the night before each intrusion - and the last one was the night after his wife disappeared.

Instead of reporting her to the police, James teams up with Alice (Kelley Mack), a strange woman who follows him one night, for nebulous reasons.

Together they disappear down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories, crossing paths with a selection of enigmatic and oddball characters, as James becomes increasingly paranoid on his dual quest to find out who created the "broadcast signal intrusion" and what happened to his wife.

Starting from a similar space as the far-superior Archive 81, Broadcast Signal Intrusion instead apes True Detective (poorly) using this elaborate, potential Creepypasta urban legend to obfuscate a very linear murder mystery.

I'll confess I was hoping for another Archive 81, Deadwax, or Cigarette Burns.

Being inspired by true events (there were actual signal intrusions of a similar nature in the mid-to-late '80s), I had high hopes as to what fantastical journey the movie would take its conspiracy theory-driven protagonist on.

However, of all the potential stories that could have sprung from this set-up, a poor man's Batman adventure - where the villain leaves a trail of breadcrumbs that only the protagonist can follow (despite years of investigations by various branches of the government and law enforcement) - was a major let-down.
 
There are films where you can recognise their greatness early on, but there are others - usually mystery stories - where everything hangs on the final reveal, which can make or break the audience's investment in the piece.

Sadly, as  became increasingly clear as the 104-minute movie dragged on, the climactic revelation of Broadcast Signal Intrusion, despite being dressed up in the trappings of James's dramatic dive into insanity, raised little more than a shrug and a underwhelmed "oh, was that it?" reaction.

For all the smoke-and-mirrors, James' unearthing of this great secret is mindbogglingly straight-forward, with the only real mysteries being the unexplained comings and goings of the small coterie of supporting characters.

Phil Drinkwater and Tim Woodall's script, directed by Jacob Gentry, was riddled with convenient coincidences,  inconstancies, and plot holes that you were probably expected to hand wave away with a "that's the nature of the beast" get-out-of-jail-free card.

But filmmakers have to earn that sort of trust from their audience and Broadcast Signal Intrusion falls well short.

Noah Hawley's Alien: Earth Looks Phenomenal

Zoltan, Hound of Dracula (1977)

Pretty certain Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula was the first vampire film I ever saw as a kid, as it was a running joke in our cat-centric house when I was growing up that all "vicious" dogs were called "Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula".

A cheesy B-movie, with a novel central concept, a modicum of gore, and almost zero scares, no one will ever mistake Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula (aka Dracula's Dog) for high art, as ultimately the "idea" is better than the execution.

A unit of Cold War era Soviet soldiers unearth a "Dracula tomb" in Romania, accidentally releasing Zoltan, The Hound Of Dracula, and his handler, Veidt Smit (Reggie Nalder).

Police inspector - and vampire expert - Inspector Branco (José Ferrer) correctly deduces that Smit is heading to America to pledge his allegiance to Dracula's last living relative, psychiatrist Michael Drake (Michael Pataki).

Smit (or 'Smith') and Zoltan arrive in California ahead of Branco, but Drake, his family, and their dogs (two full-grown German Shepherds and three puppies) have already left for a two-week camping vacation at Clear (not Crystal!) Lake.

To be honest, I was horrified that this family took their new-born puppies on a wilderness camping trip. Horror compounded by the fact that one gets lost almost immediately, and eventually falls prey to Zoltan's fangs.

The Hound Of Dracula, and his handler, have followed the Drake family to the wilderness, and begin a campaign of harassment, with the eventual idea (I think) of letting Zoltan bite Michael and turn him into a vampire.

It's all a bit vague really, and I don't truly understand why they don't just storm in there on the first night and turn Michael lickety-split.

By drawing things out, they only allow time for Branco to roll up, from "The Old Country", fill Michael in on what's going on and formulate a defence strategy.

Drake is clearly au fait with his historical heritage as he takes everything that Branco tells him at face value and has no problems accepting the existence of vampires.

Of course, if everyone had listened to Drake's young daughter, Linda (Libby Chase), earlier - after she bumped into Smit and his rather on-the-nose hearse - matters might have been resolved quicker and more easily.

I did like the fact that neither Michael nor Branco actually actually knew about Zoltan until the climax of the final act.

Conversely, I didn't quite grasp Smit's obsession with Michael as the last blood relative of Dracula, when Drake had two kids: Linda and Steve (John Levin). Surely, THEY were Dracula's last descendants? And probably better targets for vampiric transformation?

There's an exciting siege in a wooden hut, when Michael and Branco are attacked by Zoltan and a couple of dogs he's converted to his cause, but otherwise this movie pretty much fails to live up to its potential.

Although everyone gets bloodied and bruised in the final fight, ultimately the good guys win way too easily.

However, the denouement is worthy of a wry chuckle.

Inescapable comparisons with Cujo exist, as this is another "people attacked by blood-hungry canines" yarn, but Zoltan - unsurprisingly - pales in comparison.

An ill thought-out story, riddled with plot holes, pretty much sinks Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula, leaving us, simply, with the brilliant idea of the immortal count's pet having a cinematic un-life of its own.

Supernatural Rises From The Grave As A Dynamite Comic

Main cover art for issue one by Clayton Crain

Five years after the final episode of Supernatural's 15th season, the popular monster-hunting TV show returns in October... as a new comic book series from Dynamite.

With its initial storyline set between the events of seasons one and two, Supernatural will be written by Greg Pak, with Eder Messias on art detail.

From Dynamite's promotional blurb:

The brothers Winchester return! Get ready to hit the road again with Dean and Sam as they prowl the highways and byways of small-town America in search of demonic wrongdoing to put right!

Set between the foundational first and second seasons of the landmark television series, this brand-new title from acclaimed author Greg Pak (Darth Vader) and preternaturally gifted artist Eder Messias (Sam Wilson: Captain America) brings readers back to where the dark magic first began - and reveals a disturbing new threat that the bickering brothers will have to face before they can return to hunting down the demon who killed their mother.

In this first issue, the monster hunters must uncover the entity responsible for a series of mysterious fires in a decaying rust belt town - attacks that begin with a Windler Industries factory burning down, and then escalate to several Windler employees themselves going up in flames.

But finding the malevolent force behind the otherworldly arsons may not be as straightforward as it might seem - especially once the suspiciously well-prepared CEO Steff Windler gets personally involved! 

Variant cover art for issue one by David Cousins

Variant cover art for issue one by Eder Messias

Cast photo variant cover for issue one

As well as a number of licensed spin-off novels and an excellent selection of "in-universe" guides to the show's world, long-running horror show Supernatural (2005-2020) earned itself a handful of comic book miniseries over the years and a wonderful RPG that, sadly, didn't gain the traction it deserved.

However, when the 13-episode Winchesters prequel series also failed to set the world alight (in 2022) in quite the same way as the original show had done I thought that was the last gasp for this franchise.

Let's hope there are enough die hard - or potentially returning - Supernatural fans to breathe life into this new comic book series and reignite the thrill of those early years of the show.

This Week Is Going To Be Fantastic

More traditional character posters for the stars of Fantastic Four: First Steps

The Uninvited (1944)

Ghosts! Murder! Cats and dogs living together! A charismatic lead who doesn't take life too seriously!

The Uninvited was the Ghostbusters of its age, a film that - on paper - could have been quite scary, but is delivered with a lightness of touch and naturalistic humour that makes it more palatable to a wider audience.

I suspect when it was released, in the mid 1940s (at the height of the Second World War) it might have been seen as quite the chiller, but to modern sensibilities it's more a supernatural mystery, tame even by the standards of the Ghost Whisperer and the original Charmed.

Both Martin Scorsese and Guillermo Del Toro have described The Uninvited as one of the most affecting horror films they have ever seen, although I suspect nostalgia plays a role in those proclamations.

Carefree composer-turned-music-critic Roderick Fitzgerald (Ray Milland) and his sister, Pamela (Ruth Hussey), fall in love with an unoccupied house they come across on the Devonshire coastline while on holiday in 1937.

Finding it belongs to Commander Beech (Donald Crisp) they agree to purchase it for the princely sum of £1,200, much to the chagrin of Beech's pretty, 20-year-old granddaughter, Stella Meredith (Gail Russell).

Although her grandfather hasn't let her back in the house since her mother died when she was only three, Stella feels an attachment to the house, Windward, and wants to keep it in the family.

However, she soon finds herself attracted to the charming Roderick, and he invites her into the house.

And that's when things start to get a bit weird for everyone.

Based on Dorothy Macardle's 1941 novel, Uneasy Freehold, The Uninvited is steadily paced, with a great balance between humour (mostly from Roderick's flippant attitude) and mystery.

By today's standards the special effects for the ghost are quite primitive, but they're still effective, and the paranormal manifestations run the gamut from scared animals and howling cries, through messages from beyond and channelling, to cold spots and strange smells, before serving up actual sightings of an apparition.

In just an hour-and-a-half, the film does a good job of covering all the bases of paranormal investigations.

Roderick, as the audience's POV character for the most part, begins with the plucky, aspirational, grin-and-bear it attitude of the wartime (even though the film is set pre-war) but through his experiences his cynicism is worn away so that he starts to take the matter of ghosts and hauntings seriously.

Amid the emotional turmoil that forms the motivational core of The Uninvited, there's even a very overt suggestion of a lesbian relationship (or at least attraction) between two of the key players in the narrative, which was surprising discovery in a 1940's movie.

A delightful period piece, The Uninvited is a product of its time, but a very imaginative and creative one nonetheless.

Legless Elle Fanning Helps Young Predator Seek Ultimate Prey

First hunt. Last chance.

From the director of Prey, watch the brand-new trailer for Predator: Badlands, in theaters November 7.

Predator: Badlands, which stars Elle Fanning and Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi, is set in the future on a remote planet, where a young Predator, outcast from his clan, finds an unlikely ally in Thia (Fanning) and embarks on a treacherous journey in search of the ultimate adversary.

The film is directed by Dan Trachtenberg and produced by John Davis, Dan Trachtenberg, Marc Toberoff, Ben Rosenblatt, Brent O’Connor.

The Xenomorphs Are Coming To Earth!