Hawk The Slayer (1980)

Four essential movies shaped my early Dungeons & Dragons games: namely Jason & The Argonauts from 1963; Sinbad And The Eye of The Tiger (which I saw at the cinema with my parents when it came out in 1977); Ralph Bakshi's 1978 animated (and unfinished) Lord Of The Rings; and the legendary Hawk The Slayer (from 1980).

As with my commentary on The Messenger the other week, all these movies are review-proof in my eyes, and so this isn't going to be a critical hatchet job - instead, it will read more like a hagiography. 

Sinbad And The Eye Of The Tiger, being the first Dungeons & Dragons-y film I saw after discovering the game, was a major source of material.

One of my first characters was actually called 'Sinbad' and most of the ship's crew and other supporting characters from the film appeared as non-player characters at some time or other in my games.

It was also this film which inspired the epic trans-oceanic adventures that young Gublin and I mapped out on seemingly never-ending rolls of paper, making up the islands and continents as our characters' ship discovered them.

As I've already said several times on this blog, it was Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion animation in Jason & The Argonauts (and later in Clash Of The Titans) that really decided the 'look' of Dungeons & Dragons monster fighting (in my mind) for me.

But it was Hawk The Slayer that had the closest overall feel of pure Dungeons & Dragons as we actually played it, even with its micro-budget and B-movie mentality.

As much as I love the movie, I find it difficult to compare to those other three formative cinematic influences - as, to me, they are all perfect.

However, it's easy to see why Hawk The Slayer, in particular, holds a certain cachet with old school gamers.

It has everything a classic game of Dungeons & Dragons requires! The party's charismatic leader Hawk (John Terry who also happens to play Jack's dad in Lost which just adds to the geek cred of the film) has a magic sword and a feud with his one-eyed Darth Vader-like brother Voltan (Jack Palance).

He takes a mission to raise the 2,000 gold pieces needed to ransom an abbess (Victor Meldrew's wife, Annette Crosbie) back from Voltan.

To aid him, Hawk teams up with adventuring friends old and new including a giant (who is basically just the tall bloke from the Carry On films, Bernard Bresslaw), the coolest elf in cinema history (Crow - Ray Charleson - could whoop Legolas any day of the week with his superspeed archery), a dwarf, a one-handed fighter with a machine-gun crossbow and a magic-user called, simply, "Woman" (whose spells strongly resemble smoke, snow and wind machines, luminous ping-pong balls, silly string and assorted 70s disco lighting effects).

Set this all in a land permanently enshrouded in fog, with a funky synth music score and spaghetti western whistly bits; enough name dropping to give the impression of a full-developed country; and more than enough chewy, cheesy dialogue to satiate the diet of both a giant and a dwarf and you've got a "realistic" depiction of 99 per cent of how I viewed every fantasy roleplaying game I played back in the day.

If it isn't already compulsory for those about to start an old school Dungeons & Dragons campaign to watch this film... it should be!

Sword Of The Barbarians (1982)

 
There is something quite delicious about watching a crappy old swords and sorcery B-movie on VHS cassette, that certain - almost illicit - frisson of knowing that this movie is so awful it isn't available in any better format.

That said, Sword Of The Barbarians (aka Barbarian Master aka Sangraal, la spada di fuoco) is a surprisingly decent Dungeons & Dragons-esque quest movie.

Nomad chieftain Sangraal (Pietro Torrisi aka Peter McCoy) is leading his people through the wilderness when they stumble upon a group of villagers under attack.

Driving off the attackers, Sangraal asks to be taken back to their village, where he is greeted by headman Belam (Luciano Rossi aka Lou Kamante) and invited to stay and settle down - much to the delight of his people.

However, word gets back to the villainous Nanuk (Mario Novelli aka Anthony Freeman) - enemy of Belam's people and worshipper of topless fire goddess Rani (Xiomara Rodriguez) - that a stranger has appeared in the valley and has been killing his men.

Rani demands vengeance - so Nanuk launches an attack on the village, capturing Sangraal and forcing him to watch as the village is put to the sword and his wife Lenne (Margareta Rance) is cut down in front of him.

Luckily, Belam's daughter, Aki (Yvonne Fraschetti), escapes the massacre with the aid of wandering Easterner, Li Wo Twan (Hal Yamanouchi aka Al Huang), and they free Sangraal.

Sangraal's first thought isn't revenge - he wants to restore Lenne to life, which Aki (who has the hots for Sangraal) says is impossible.

Twan, however, reckons the wise man of The Black Mountains, Rudak (Massimo Pittarello), might know how to do it.

On the journey to Rudak, the trio are attacked by useless bandits, waylaid by the least-threatening sandstorm in cinematic history and finally driven into an underground cave system by a host of extras from Life Of Brian, where they meet some amusingly lame subterranean reptile people.

Finally getting to Rudak, the wizard tells Sangraal that Aki was right and he can't resurrect Lenne, however if he wants to get revenge on Nanuk and Rani he needs to travel west for three days into a forest where he'll find a cavern containing The Ark Of Templars and in that he will find the instrument of his revenge.

It might be worth pointing out, if you haven't picked up on it already, that Sangraal is another, archaic, name for the Holy Grail. 

There's some shenanigans in the forest with a tribe of monkey-people, who are in league with Nanuk, but eventually Sangraal finds the cave he was looking for - which happens to be guarded by another topless goddess (Sabrina Siani) who our hero only manages to overcome with the aid of Rudak.

In the Ark is a humongous crossbow, but by the time Sangraal retrieves it, Nanuk has captured Aki and whisked her back to his own luxury cave where she is held hostage, as naked bait to draw Sangraal in for his final confrontation.

Much fighting ensues and in the end, once he has seen Aki's boobies, Sangraal has forgotten all about his beloved Lenne and found romance in the ample bosom of Aki.

Sword Of The Barbarians is a strange cocktail of Deathstalker and Hawk The Slayer and while not reaching the heights of excellence of either of these legendary movies, it manages to survive translation from Italian and rebranding as an American flick remarkably well.

Large quantities of low-lying smoke in many parts of Sangraal's land made me wonder if it was close to Hawk The Slayer's Realm and Mario Novelli, with all his mwahaha-ing, scenery-chewing and histrionic proclamations is clearly channelling Jack Palance's Voltan, as the barbarian's barbarian, Nanuk.

The presence of a random Easterner is never really fully explained and, unfortunately, the character of Twan quickly deteriorates in to a fortune-cookie-proverb-spouting stereotype whose ramblings eventually prompt Sangraal to cut him off. A harsh word that comes back to haunt him - and suggests that maybe a bit more thought went into this script than you'd expect from this style of movie.

While the creature effects (the 'lizard people' and the 'monkey-men') are very basic, the frequent fight scenes are an odd mix of cheap gore and bloodless acrobatics - yet surprisingly entertaining for a trashy, low-budget swords and sorcery piece.

If you can find Sword Of The Barbarians I definitely recommend checking it out.

It's not Robert McKee or Syd Field, but if you give the script a chance you'll find it hangs together very well and gamers will appreciate the pure Dungeons & Dragons-ness of the whole ensemble (torch-lit expeditions in underground cave systems, monsters, pit traps, magic etc).

Sword Of The Barbarians doesn't aspire to be high art and embraces its sub-Conan silliness without resorting to slapstick or knowingly undermining its world view.

Give it chance - you never know you might be as enchanted by it as I was.

Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter (1974)

How have I gone this long without seeing this wonderful little film? Especially as Rachel bought me the Blu-Ray for Christmas several years ago and it's just sat on my shelf waiting for the right moment.

Clearly an influence on a variety of other monster-hunting shows from Buffy The Vampire Slayer to The Witcher, and the Ravenloft setting in Dungeons & Dragons, the mythology presented in Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter suggests a wider world and the adventure we witness in this film is obviously just a single episode in his storied life.

Liberating stunning gypsy girl Carla (Caroline Munro) on the way - locked in the stocks for "dancing on a Sunday" - former Imperial Guard captain-turned-professional vampire hunter Kronos (Horst Janson) and his hunchbacked companion, Professor Hieronymous Grost (John Cater), respond to a summons to investigate a suspected vampire attack.

We learn that there are many varieties of vampire, beyond the accepted stereotype, and the one operating here appears to drain life rather than blood.

However, Kronos and Grost need to investigate further, to uncover its weaknesses.

At a later point this involves a darkly humorous sequence when one of their allies falls foul of the vampire and they struggle to find the right method of execution.

The film doesn't really make too much of an effort to conceal the mystery of who the vampire is, but still manages to slip in a few surprises in the wake of the "big reveal" in the final act.

Wearing its '70s pedigree on its sleeve, Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter takes place in one of those peculiarly Hammer, vaguely Central European, pseudo-nineteenth century settings where 90 per cent of the women look like glamour models.

The dashing swordsman and his posse

And Munro's Carla is there mainly to take the role of dogsbody, vampire bait, and the Captain's booty call.

But casual sexism aside, this is a well-paced, swashbuckling-horror from writer-director Brian Clemens (the main scriptwriter of hit '60s spy-fi show, The Avengers, and screenwriter of Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde and The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, amongst many other achievements on his CV), that really would have worked as a serial.

Janson plays the deadpan Kronos straight, showing that the war hero is clearly damaged, not just from losing his family to vampires, and that's what makes the katana-wielding, Chinese herb-smoking swordsman all the more intriguing.

Then on top of the layered central character (we learn very little about Grost except that he's an expert on vampire lore and he's insecure about his appearance) we are treated to a number of his peculiar, folktale-inspired, tricks to unearthing the undead.

I was particularly fond of the dead toad gimmick (this is something I need to work into an RPG).

"If a vampire should bestrode / Close to the grave of a dead toad / Then the vampire life shall give / And suddenly, the toad shall live."

There's a minimalist look about the movie as well (no doubt down, in part, to the budget), where scenes - regardless of the size of the set - feature very few characters, which reminded me of my beloved Hawk The Slayer.

Light-weight and well-lit, compared to many of the more Gothic Hammer vampire flicks (as these vampires don't sizzle in sunlight), Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter is a unique film in the Hammer vaults - which is a shame, because there's obviously many more adventures to be had with these characters.

Joan of Arc aka The Messenger aka The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999)

I'm not a professional film critic (although I did play one for many years on our local newspaper, when such things still truly existed), therefore I'm allowed my fair share of "review-proof" movies, such as 1960's The Time Machine, 1967's Quatermass and The Pit, 1992's The Muppet Christmas Carol, and 1980's Hawk The Slayer. To name but a few, off the top of my head.

Proudly standing among this nebulous selection of movies across many genres is Luc Besson's magnificent biography of Joan of Arc, which I've always known as The Messenger since I first saw it back in the day.

And I won't hear a thing against it. I even enjoy the strange sequences at the end, before she is to be burnt at the stake, when Joan engages in heated debate with Dustin Hoffman's weird, supernatural, presence (called The Conscience in the film's credits, but is almost certainly meant to be God or an angel).

I don't know if it's the gritty depiction of Medieval warfare or my weird fixation with the iconography of religious epics, but I've been obsessed with this movie since my initial viewing, which has, in turn, led to a low-key fascination with 15th Century Maid of Orleans, Joan of Arc herself.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt - for me, anyway - Milla Jovovich's powerful, unglamourous yet highly charismatic, and slightly deranged performance as Joan is her strongest cinematic role, although some may argue it's Leeloo in The Fifth Element (which is certainly more comedic).

The Messenger does an impressive job of building in the suggestion that Joan's proclivity for vivid, religious, visions comes, at least in part, from the childhood trauma she endured when English invaders pillaged her "idyllic" home in the French countryside.

But whatever the cause, these visions result in the older Joan being granted a status well-above of her peasant birth to "lead" the French army in its fight back against the stereotypically vile, f-bombing English. 

Her boundless zeal and insistence on unorthodox tactics, coupled with her "holy aura" in the eyes of the common foot soldiers, results in some wildly unexpected victories.

This, in turn, makes her a powerful symbol for the French... until she isn't.

The naïve, 19-year-old fanatic becomes an embarrassment for the French authorities once the Dauphin (John Malkovich) gets the crown he has been seeking.

Those in power who supported her, when their goals were aligned, turn on her. Joan is transformed from a figurehead into a diplomatic pawn. 

And we all know how that ended.

Not only is The Messenger a damning indictment of corrupt, organised religion but, once again, its central, emotional conflict highlights the inherent misogyny of the Medieval world (which has, of course, tempered slightly now, but still exists). 

Honestly, I don't care how historically accurate - or not - The Messenger is, it's simply magnificent in my eyes.

Certainly the gritty, muddy, gruesome, unheroic Medieval violence is a strong selling point for me, but there are so many great, larger-than-life, characters in the film - as well as Jovovich's Joan - that also speak to the gamer in me.

And the religious weirdness, of course.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Two Great Tastes, One Great Flavour

One of the many ways that Knights of The Dinner Table has resonated with me through the years is the characters' (and creator Jolly Blackburn's) unwavering love for Hawk The Slayer.

The film is frequently referenced in the comic strips, particularly by hardcore gamers Dave and Bob.

Sarah: I thought you guys loved The Lord of the Rings movies.

Bob: Hey, don't get us wrong. Lord of the Rings is great, but let's be honest. It's no Hawk the Slayer.

Dave: Hawk the Slayer is based on sound role-playing principles. Lord of the Rings just got it wrong.

- Knights of the Dinner Table, Special Edition #2, Paperhack Writer

I was a particularly happy geek when, during the build-up to the (sadly failed) Kickstarter for Hawk The Hunter, I was able to put one of the film's producers in touch with Jolly, to arrange an interview with writer/director Terry Marcel to plug the crowdfunding campaign.

Apropos of nothing in particular, I came across this fine piece of artwork by Steven Cummings for the cover of Knights of the Dinner Table #215, from 2014.

In his comments about the cover, Jolly wrote:

"When Steven Cummings asked if he could do a Hawk the Slayer tribute cover for us, I tripped over myself rushing to the keyboard to respond, “HELLYES!!”. I love the resulting piece. The Knights would be both thrilled and PROUD."

THROWBACK THURSDAY: HAWK THE SIGNATURES!

Earlier this year I talked about the magic of signed items, but among my small collection of such I have an old paperback that I now consider priceless.

Here follows the two-stage yarn of what makes it so.

First, we must travel back through the mists of time to 2011, when rumours started circulating that the writer/director of 1980's Hawk The Slayer (the greatest Dungeons & Dragons movie of all time), Terry Marcel, was - finally - seeking funding for the long-awaited sequel, Hawk The Hunter.

Sadly, we know what became of that, but I'm jumping ahead.

Although my memories of what transpired are hazy these days, I know that because I had written voluminously and passionately about Hawk The Slayer online for years I somehow got in contact with one of the producers for the planned sequel.

And he offered to get my old copy of the novelisation (which Terry was also co-author, with script partner Harry Robertson, of) signed by Terry Marcel himself.

I'll confess I was anxious about mailing the book away. Purchasing it when I was a youngster is one of my few, remaining solid memories from those days. 

But the producer was true to his word and got Terry to sign it. Not just sign it, as you can see above, but also inscribe the opening text of the movie.

Then, four years later, in the build-up to the film-funding Kickstarter, my producer-contact wove his magic again, asking me if I'd like the coolest elf in cinema history, Crow aka actor Ray Charleson (pictured below, holding The Mindsword), to also sign my book?

Again, I was slightly anxious about mailing the book off. Not that my contact wouldn't come through, but that something would happen to it in the post.

And, again, I needn't have worried. Everything went as promised.

As I said  earlier, my memory may not be what it used to be, yet I can still vividly recall buying that book in WH Smiths in Tunbridge Wells. It was dark and I'd popped in after school on the way to catching the bus home. I was 15 and the book cost the grand sum of one pound.

Who'd have thought that one day it would be priceless?

Prisoners Of The Lost Universe (1983)

Three years after creating the most Dungeons & Dragons film of all time (Hawk The Slayer) Terry Marcel and Harry Robertson reunited to try and recapture that 'lightning in a bottle' magic with Prisoners Of The Lost Universe.

The chances are your impression of their success can be gauged against how well you feel George Lucas recaptured the magic of the original Star Wars trilogy in the Ewok movies.

Even bringing back Peter O'Farrell and Ray Charleson in essentially the same roles as they had in Hawk, a roguish dwarf and a gifted elfin creature, doesn't really help.

TV presenter Carrie Madison (Kay Lenz, best known as Thursday from the classic western The Great Scout & Cathouse Thursday) and handyman Dan (Richard Hatch aka Captain Apollo from the original Battlestar Galactica) find themselves shunted from our world to the primitive parallel world of Vonya. There the warlord, Kleel (a slumming-it John Saxon) is using his stash of Earth weaponry to maintain a brutal grip on the nomadic locals.

Kleel takes a shine to Carrie (because of her blonde hair and feisty nature) and it's up to Dan and the adventuring party he soon gathers (an elf, a dwarf, and a giant... sound familiar?) to rescue her.

As with Hawk, there's a strong whiff of Dungeons & Dragons in Prisoners Of The Lost Universe, with its abundance of random encounters.

But the cheesy monsters our heroes cross swords with are more reminiscent of the Italian low-budget sword-and-sandals fare such as the Hercules movies, Conquest etc that were being made around the same time.

Unfortunately for gamers - and neutral observers - all the humanoid monsters met are simply interchangeable, disposable goons in different costumes with no discernible differences in their abilities beyond their different outfits (be they midgets with glowing eyes, subterranean cloaked critters, or the Jason Voorhees-like waterbeast).

If Hawk The Slayer was Marcel and Robertson's Robert E Howard, then Prisoners Of The Lost Universe is their Edgar Rice Burroughs.

Despite the '80s opening on Earth and the presence of firearms, the sci-fi vibe that's suggested by the film's advertising (see poster/DVD cover above) is largely trampled by the fantasy elements, giving the film a micro-budget sword-and-planet John Carter of Mars flavour more than anything else.

Although Dan The Handyman is no John Carter!

On top of clunky dialogue and bargain basement effects, there's also a quite heavy-handed attempt to force humour into the mix by injecting some odd, comedy sound effects, which are totally cringe-worthy.

Trying too hard to lean into "camp charm", when such elements should be allowed to blossom naturally, it doesn't take long to realise why Prisoners Of The Lost Universe never gained the cult following that their earlier work did.

The Devil's Sword (1984)

Sometimes I stumble across a film that truly taxes my limited reviewing repertoire when it comes to expressing its unique brilliance: the Indonesian fantasy flick The Devil's Sword is just such a beast.

At its heart, it's the story of errant warrior Mandala (Barry Prima), tasked by his guru to retrieve the powerful Devil's Sword (a sparkling, snake-bladed Kris) and use it to overthrow the shapeshifting Crocodile Queen, who is seeking world domination as a side dish to satisfying her carnal cravings.

Her main activities appear to be ordering her servants to kidnap local unmarried men and hypnotising them into becoming her sex slaves, rather than concentrating on global conquest.

Now, don't get excited, what passes for sex in The Devil's Sword (a metaphor for the male member?) is very coy, clothed and frankly quite ridiculous, taking place on comfy sofas, in firepits and even underwater and never really progressing beyond kissing and cuddling.

I think (but it's never explained, unsurprisingly) The Crocodile Queen may be draining her sex slaves of their youth to prolong her own life, but equally I might have just made that up from a couple of random lines of dialogue.

Although there are also a number of evil warriors after the magical MacGuffin (who end up killing each other after initially working together), Mandala's main opponent is his old training classmate Banyunjaga (Advent Bangun), a  master of the menacing cackle.

Along the way, we are treated to: amputations; decapitations; mushrooms that fight back; flying rocks; enchanted umbrellas; long meaningful looks; skeletal boatmen; a genuine dungeoncrawl complete with traps, secret doors and a Cyclopean mud monster; an indecipherable treasure map; an outbreak of unexplained laser-hands; an arsenal of imaginative weaponry; an interpretative dance number; and blood, lots of blood (although all very unconvincing).

While being its own unique brand of entertaining, madcap sword and sorcery, there are certainly traces of Zu: Warriors Of The Magic Mountain, Monkey!, Deathstalker (sans the gratuitous nudity) and Hawk The Slayer to be found in The Devil's Sword.

This is a very special 101 minutes of game-inspiring, retro, martial mayhem that should be in the Appendix N of all budding gamesmasters.

Flying Rock: The Only Way To Travel

Hawk The Hunter: What Could Have Been

Terry Marcel, director of Hawk The Slayer, talks with Oliver McNeil, of The Fantasy Podcast and The School of Wizards and Witches, back in 2015, just as it looked as though we might get a sequel (Hawk The Hunter) - with the aid of Kickstarter.

Sadly, as we know, that never happened.

However, the interview also covers the samurai roots of Hawk The Slayer, the film's Easter Eggs, its world's creatures and magic, the casting of Lost's John Terry and Jack Palance, Terry's tantalising plans to take the Hawk brand to television, the Dark Knight TV series, how we almost had Tom Hardy as Hawk back in 2009, and handing over the reins to a younger director.

Ah, those were the days! What could have been...

Honestly, it breaks my heart to hear all these plans and imagine a world where Hawk got the Renaissance it deserves, and we could all be watching a TV show, reading an ongoing comic book series, and even playing video games based upon the most Dungeons & Dragons film of all time.

While we bathe in the warm glow of "what might have been", here also is a selection of interviews that Rebellion conducted with the lovely and optimistic Terry Marcel prior to the launch of the doomed Kickstarter:

THROWBACK THURSDAY: When Hawk Failed To Fly!

Back in October 2015, I was devastated when the Kickstarter campaign to secure the final funding for the proposed Hawk The Slayer sequel, Hawk The Hunter, fell well short of its goal.

Getting the bit between my teeth, I penned an amateur dissection of what I felt went wrong.

Remember this was written over 10 years ago. In the meantime 2000AD (published by Rebellion) has run a number of original Hawk The Slayer comic strips, but - as far as I am aware - Hawk The Hunter as a movie property is dead and buried.

You can read my commentary from back then below:

The Kickstarter to secure the final slice of funding to get the long-awaited Hawk The Slayer sequel off the ground ended this week, having raised a pitiful five per cent of its target.

The Hawk The Hunter campaign started with great gusto, screenings at FrightFest in London and at a convention in the States, a slew of magazine and news website coverage.

Then nothing...

It was as though the campaign organisers were just sitting back, expecting the cash to come flooding in. Or they simply didn't understand how Kickstarter works.

The campaign launched on August 30, and ran until October 1, hoping to raise a cool half-a-million dollars, the final 20 per cent of the finances needed to get the film made.

In that time there were only three updates to the campaign, the last being on September 1, where the writer/director of the original Hawk The Slayer, Terry Marcel, said: "Just wanted to let you know we've raised $4.5M on this project, we need the final $500K to make this happen."

Through the duration of the campaign we heard nothing from the director chosen for the new film, nor from Rebellion (the comic publishers and video game company providing the special effects), no sample footage, no tunes from Rick Wakeman, or anything that might spur people to invest... beyond simple nostalgia for the original cult classic.

In the end the Kickstarter raised just under $27,000.

You just need to look at the Kicktraq data for the campaign (which is more readable actually on the Kicktraq site) to see the enthusiasm was there at the start, but then dropped away dramatically.

Days before the end of the campaign, producer Andrew Grocock posted a message to the Official Hawk The Hunter Facebook page spelling out some of the reasons why the campaign had faltered so spectacularly.

First up, a couple of their pre-release promotional videos on YouTube were removed because of music clearance issues:

"The first two videos were then taken down from YouTube by the representative of the Harry Robertson Estate [citing] Soundtrack Copyright as we’d used a few seconds of original Hawk the Slayer music without permission.

We were also issued with a statement that under no circumstances were we allowed to use the HtS soundtrack music to promote the sequel Hawk the Hunter."

Luckily co-producer Jason Kingsley, head of Rebellion, stepped in and helped create an alternative launch video.

Then, despite some success with getting Terry in front of reporters to talk about the campaign, Andrew said:

"Many newspaper, magazine, RPG and games-based media outlets refused to help promote or mention our campaign as Kickstarters are not wholly recognised as being 'FOR REAL'. Games Workshop Weekly newsletter being one opportunity that was a ‘NO’ and disappointed me the most."

In the end, the Hawk The Hunter campaign received pledges from only 375 backers (which, of course, now won't be collected). If it was just members of the Official Facebook Group who were backing it that's still less than 60 per cent of the group's 639 membership.

If self-professed fans of the franchise weren't even willing to chip in $10, what chance did Terry and Andrew have of raising $500,000 from others  who weren't so invested in the world of Hawk The Slayer?

Let's consider for a moment Iron Sky (the 2012 fan-funded Nazis-on-the-Moon 'comedy'). That was a pretty awful film that makes Hawk The Slayer look Oscar-worthy in comparison, yet its sequel, The Coming Race, raised $614,599 from 8,807 backers on IndieGoGo at the start of the year.

The current Mythica film Kickstarter (the third fantasy flick, from indie film company Arrowstorm, in a five-part saga) has gotten over 1,000 pledges already, while the second part got 1,382 and the first 1,527.

Both the Iron Sky crew and Arrowstorm get crowdfunding, understand the need to keep their backers enthused so they continue to spread the message, regularly update their sites while their campaigns are running, drip feed new titbits about the production or new investment incentives etc

Earlier in the week, when it was clear the Hawk The Hunter fundraiser wouldn't reach its goal, Terry posted an upbeat message on the film's website:

"As you may be aware, the Kickstarter campaign was unsuccessful so we are re-evaluating the project. I hope to have news before the end of the year."

However, this needs to be taken in tandem with Andrew's earlier message, which said:

"You all know the resulting failure of the Kickstarter, the numbers of which cannot justify holding onto our studio, post [production], CGI and equity pledged investment..."

So, it looks as though, if Hawk The Hunter is ever to move ahead, it's not going to be simply a question of making the movie with the $4.5 million they had raised, as they may not even have all of that now.

It's very easy to sit back here, behind my keyboard, and armchair quarterback what went wrong, but given that, in some shape or form, Hawk The Hunter has been 'in the works' for more than 30 years, you have to question some of the decisions made as the film raced towards its final hurdle.

Besides the music clearance issue discussed above, I found a number of the high value rewards on offer for the campaign rather strange, for instance:

• $250 for a 15-second bespoke voice message (even though there was no indication who the actors would be in the film).

or

• $3,000 to be an extra for a day in a tavern scene (I don't know how much extras get paid these days, but to pay three grand to appear in the background of a scene seems a mite excessive. It didn't even state where the filming would be taking place, so you could have coughed up the money then found it was being filmed somewhere you couldn't get to)

And the thing was, about the bulk of these high-end incentives, as written, you didn't even get a digital download, let along a DVD, of the movie when it was completed... or any other of the lower price incentives!

One person chipped in for a Mind Sword prop replica, a couple went for framed art, and three were hoping for a pair of premiere tickets, but most of the high-priced items didn't attract any interest.

I guess, because there was the big launch at FrightFest, Terry and his team felt committed to run the campaign to completion, but given the lack of anything from its organisers after the first few days, sadly, I'm not surprised that few others were interested in pitching in.

I'm still holding out hope that Hawk will live again, but if this campaign couldn't even muster the full support of its own fans, maybe the wider world just isn't that bothered about seeing Hawk do battle with Voltan again.

Perhaps, the Hawk The Slayer video game will still come out from Rebellion, perhaps they'll still publish the comic that was mentioned in passing during the initial promotion, or perhaps we'll have to make do with our shiny new Blu-Rays of Hawk The Slayer...

Hawk (2011)

During The Dark Ages, a young pagan boy Rowan (Steffan Thomas), is raised in the wilds of Wales by his grandfather, Gawain (Philip Madoc), and taught the ways of wilderness survival, and respect for Nature and its protector, The Antlered God (Barry Cockers, with Sain Evans providing its otherworldly voice).

However, when Gawain dies, leaving the lad alone, Rowan imbibes of the forbidden hallucinogenic mushroom drink that his grandfather consumed, looking for guidance and explanations in the spirit realm.

Instead, enraged and confused, he commits a heinous crime against the Antlered God and is charged with making recompense, initially adopting an orphaned fledgling hawk (apparently, correctly termed an eyas).

A couple of decades later, adult Rowan (Robert Gwyn Davin) and his hawk realise a pair of innocent worshippers of The Nailed God (ie. Christians) - Ruth (Joanna Maw) and Jack (Mark Charles) - have wandered into his part of the wildlands and are in danger of setting off his hunting traps.

He races to save them...

Coming in at just under 40 minutes duration, Hawk is a gorgeous-looking short film, from the evocative costuming to the stunning Welsh landscapes that make full use of a widescreen.

Massive kudos to cinematographer Martin Hill and costume designer Anna Kovacevic for giving Hawk such high calibre visuals.

The film was written and directed by M.J. McMahon with co-writer Alex McArdell.

Initially the narrative comes across as almost glacial in its progress, taking its time to lay out a montage of the everyday existence of young Rowan and his wise grandfather, and possibly relying a bit too much on voice-over.

However, once the plot hits its tipping point, events unravel at a much faster rate.

So much so that you might be slightly confused by the goings-on, but taking a holistic view of the pagan world as presented, in concert with Gawain's teachings, you will realise the story is ultimately about karma, restoring the balance of nature.

For those bothered by such things (including me), I have to warn you that there's a surprising amount of (simulated) animal death and harm in this short fantasy drama.

Connoisseurs of vintage British television (and particularly the classic era of Doctor Who) should check Hawk out as it's the last on-screen appearance of the legendary Philip Madoc.

I came across the film via the official Hawk The Slayer fan page on Facebook, not that it has any connection to that epic movie beyond the word "Hawk" in its title.

Released by British production company Capture, Hawk is available to purchase via a variety of platforms, although I went old school and ordered the Blu-Ray edition from them.

Not The Slayer, Nor The Hunter, Just Hawk

Hawk from CAPTURE on Vimeo.

The land holds many secrets, and one boy will learn them all.

When Rowan is taken away from the civilised world, his lessons in the wild begin.

Yet when he shatters the balance of nature, Rowan discovers another world beneath our own.

In that shadowy land of old gods and wild hunts, the divide between man and beast becomes uncertain and the fairy tales of childhood spring to life.

With only the guidance of a hunting hawk, Rowan must make amends for his crime, and choose between what is real, and what is not.

Since it's release in 2011, Hawk has picked up over 14 international award nominations, with 6 wins including ones at the Accolade Competition, TOHorror Film Festival, ShockerFest and Idyllwild Cinemafest.

Writer/director M.J. McMahon's 40-minute short film Hawk was the last onscreen appearance of the late Philip Madoc of classic Doctor Who fame (as well as many other credits to his name, stretching back to the early 1960s).

Although it has no connection with my favourite Dungeons & Dragons movie, I first came across mention of this enigmatic entry in the annals of fantasy cinema on the Official Hawk The Slayer Facebook Group.

I suspect it will possibly be a triumph of atmosphere over story (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), but look out for a review in due course.

WALL OF HAWK!

For my birthday in 2019, Rachel agreed to pay for my two original Hawk The Slayer posters to be framed professionally.

The following January they went up (thanks to Rachel's dad) in the gamesroom, and I couldn't be happier.

The top one is a quad poster that would have been displayed outside a cinema, while beneath that is an official art print that was produced to coincide with the launch of the (sadly failed) 2015 Kickstarter to fund the sequel, Hawk The Hunter.

It's signed by Hawk's co-creator and director of the 1980's original movie, Terry Marcel.

Then beneath that I have a signed picture of Annette Crosbie as the Abbess, and a stock publicity picture of the legendary Jack Palance as Voltan.

SINBAD WEEK: The Lost World of Sinbad (1963)

Today's entry in this week of early Sinbad movies is a little known chanbara excursion  from that brief period in the Arabian sailor's storied career when he was, in fact, Japanese.

In this well-dubbed reworking of the Japanese movie, The Great Bandit, about the semi-mythical 16th Century Japanese merchant and pirate Sukezaemon Luzon. the legendary Toshirô Mifune (of Seven Samurai fame, as well as many other movies) takes the role of Sinbad.

The film begins with him inexplicably (in that it's never explained) escaping from being burned alive for the crime of piracy.

Back on his ship, however, in no time at all, Sinbad and his crew are caught in a massive storm and their vessel destroyed.

Sinbad and a couple of survivors are adrift, with a large chest of jewels, when they are set upon by the dread Black Pirate (Makoto Satô) who makes off with the treasure, leaving Sinbad for dead.

Our hero washes up on a beach, where he meets horny wizard Sennin (Ichirô Arishima) who carries his family curse of becoming paralysed whenever he sees the exposed flesh of a woman's cleavage!

Through a series of misadventures in the nearby town, Sinbad eventually falls in with a bandit queen and would-be rebel leader, the rather lovely Miwa (Kumi Mizuno, who crops up in several well-known kaiju films of the 1960s), and learns that the local ruler is taking peasants' daughters, in lieu of taxes, to bolster his harem.

Meanwhile, there's shenanigans at the nearby palace, where the sickly king (Takashi Shimura) remains out of sight.

The king's conniving Chancellor (Tadao Nakamaru) is trying to engineer a coup by getting himself hitched to Princess Yaya (Mie Hama, who appeared alongside Sean Connery in You Only Live Twice), with the help of his cackling pantomime demon-witch ally Granny (Hideyo Amamoto), whose skills include brewing poisons and turning people to stone with her gaze.

The princess, however, is betrothed to the Prince of Thailand (Jun Funato), who is due to arrive any day now for their wedding, which would scupper the Chancellor's ambitions.

Sinbad begins to suspect what is going on when he realises the jewels the kindly princess is wearing come from his own treasure haul (their original provenance is never truly discussed, but I like to think it's booty from a previous adventure of the "I'm not really a pirate" Sinbad).

Unsurprisingly, the lurid claims made in the movie poster (above) are gross exaggerations (the 'giant', for instance, is just a tall bloke, like Bernard Bresslaw in Hawk The Slayer or Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson in Game of Thrones) and there is no "lost world".

Nevertheless, The Lost World of Sinbad is a damn fine romp.

There's even some nice misdirection through the Chancellor's double-dealings that adds a surprising degree of complexity to the central plot.

Mitsukô Kusabue turns in a particularly good performance as Sobei, the Chancellor's overlooked consort, who definitely delivers some of the best snark .. before running afoul of Granny.

While the film boasts no monsters, there's plenty of magic on display, even if Sennin and Granny only have a handful of spells each in their repertoire.

Sennin's main trick is transforming himself into a fly, primarily to get around (including landing on a dancer's breast at one point... because family curse!), while Granny leans heavily on her petrifying gaze.

Towards the climax of the movie, a peculiar sequence sees Sinbad strapped to a giant kite to evade the enemy guards, when he and the rebels are storming the castle,.

He's not riding the kite like a magic carpet, as shown in the (again misleading) poster, but for some reason strapped on its back - facing the sky - so I have no clue as to how he was supposed to guide it.

Sinbad eventually gets into the castle entirely by chance!

Otherwise, the plot - for a dubbed effort that changed so much from the original and unfolds in a setting you'd never associate with Sinbad - is solid, has some good politicking in the court scenes, a cast of interesting and memorable characters, and, as you might expect with Toshirô Mifune involved, pretty decent fight scenes.

Early Thoughts on Personalising The Twilight Sword Setting

As a youngling I had this Pauline Baynes map of Narnia on my bedroom wall

With the impending release of the beta PDF of Twilight Sword, I have begun to noodle around ideas for "personalising" the lands of Radia - the game's default setting. 

World building from scratch is one of my weaknesses as a gamesmaster: all my worlds created whole cloth tend to end up as simply reskinned versions of real lands from Medieval(ish) Earth... and not in a clever, Robert E Howard Age of Hyboria way.

I also have a tendency to "Game of Thrones" things up before the first die is slung, by which I mean I overcomplicate and hyperdetail the setting way beyond anything the players will probably ever have any interaction with.

This is because I tend to fall in love with my settings and then mistakenly believe I'm the next JRR Tolkien, CS Lewis or George RR Martin! When all I'm really doing is creating a backdrop for some wonderfully silly elfgames.

Aware of this fault in my planning process, I'm approaching Radia - which we know is inspired by video games and anime - with broader strokes.

At the moment, clearly, I know almost nothing about the actual, 'official' setting, so am just scraping together notes and bullet points of ideas, locations, names (for places and people) etc that - hopefully - veer away from the usual Western/Tolkien norm of fantasy settings.

For the anime influences for Radia, I shall be looking to pick up cues from my beloved Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, Record of Lodoss War, and Delicious in Dungeon.

My knowledge of anime is limited (although greater than my knowledge of video games), but I remain firm in my belief that these three serials have the best resources in the pure fantasy (Dungeons & Dragons-inspired) genre.

Beyond anime, I'm looking at established settings such as Narnia, Wonderland, Oz, Neverland, Eternia, and Arduin, and films like Labyrinth, The NeverEnding Story, The Dark Crystal, and so on, rather than my usual inspirations, for example Hawk The Slayer and Lord of The Rings. 

Don't get me wrong Hawk The Slayer remains the definitive old school Dungeons & Dragons movie in my book and Peter Jackson's Lord of The Rings trilogy is simply the greatest movie of all time, which I ensure I watch at least once a year from start to finish.

But, in my experience, the thing I find about such intricate settings as Middle-Earth and Westeros is that they are 'fragile'. If you mess around with them too much they break and are no longer the setting you fell in love with in the first place.

Now, I know you can say: but it's your game, you can do what you like with the setting, who's going to know?

But, besides the fact that I would know, it's my belief that these settings are so intricately interwoven that if you mess with, or change, one bit it will have a cascade effect further down the line so that something else isn't going to make sense (just look at George RR Martin's anger with The House of The Dragon tv show because characters were cut out who actually have an important role to play in the story at a later date).

Hence, why I'm shifting my focus to loosey-goosey, weird and surreal settings that are governed by more fairy tale aesthetics. I believe these will gel more with my vision - and understanding - of how Radia (and Twilight Sword) is supposed to operate.

Of course, I could be completely wrong. But I hope not.

I'd really like to run a setting that was, at once, familiar to the Tuesday Knights but also fresh and original, and not just another Middle-Earth/Forgotten Realms/Medieval Europe retread. 

And has talking animals.

DEATHSTALKER WEEK: Deathstalker (2025)

Warrior and scavenger Deathstalker (Daniel Bernhardt) is pulled into the "machinations of the gods" when he steals a magical amulet from a dying prince on a battlefield.

Teaming up with goblin-dwarf wizard Doodad (Laurie Field, voiced by Patton Oswald) and thief Brisbayne (Christina Orjalo), this trio of rogues have to first undo the curse on Deathstalker that has bound the amulet to him.

Then they have to find an (impractical) four-bladed magical sword and thwart the apocalyptic plans of the evil sorcerer Nekromemnon (Nicholas Rice), his right-hand goon, the undead Jotak (Paul Lazenby) and their legions of monstrous Dreadite soldiers.

Written and directed by Psycho Goreman's Steven Kostanski (who was born three years after the original Deathstalker was released) Deathstalker (2025) is a loving tribute to vintage, low-budget, swords-and-sorcery flicks.

It is set in a land awash with Hawk The Slayer mist, and our heroes fight their way through a never-ending onslaught of Power Rangers (and Psycho Goreman) style rubber-suit monsters and Evil Dead-style stop-motion creations.

And, yes, the infamous porcine-faced humanoid makes a return appearance, although he's had a bit of a glow-up since the original movies. You may call him a pig-man, but to me he's a Gygaxian orc.

The ultimate weapon that Stalker is seeking - as I suspected the other day - is even an on-the-nose homage to Alert Pyun's The Sword and The Sorcerer.

In fact, the only thing that really differentiates this from the earlier Deathstalker movies is the total absence of sleaze. There's no nudity (gratuitous or otherwise), not even a hint of sexual tension between Stalker and Brisbayne. Instead, they are treated as <shudder> equals!

And, you know what, I didn't miss it. Deathstalker's linear plot is a blood-spattered, non-stop riot of over-the-top cartoonish violence, interspersed with some witty dialogue, subtle foreshadowing, and a cavalcade of rubbery monsters that could easily have just rolled out of an old school Dungeons & Dragons adventure.

You may recognise him as Kirill from John Wick or Agent Johnson from The Matrix Reloaded, but Daniel Bernhardt, who has a definite air of Jon Hamm in his mien, is superb as the titular antihero and the door is definitely left wide open at the end for sequels.

I, for one, would welcome further adventures with Bernhardt reprising the role.

The only nit I would pick with Kostanski's script - and this is as much personal taste as anything - is giving Deathstalker a backstory that necessitates him having a "pre-Deathstalker" name.

Honestly, this is completely unnecessary as the name could have been excised from the script and it would have read just as well if he was a "man with no name" type.

The film was part-funded by Kickstarter in 2024, but (for reasons) as there were no Blu-Rays (or even DVDs) on offer as incentives I just chipped in at the lowest level to get my name in the credits... because I'm easily pleased.

This did mean I had to import the Blu-Ray off my own back this week - thanks to eBay.

I know there are going to be those who moan about what's missing from the traditional Deathstalker formula (even though, surprisingly having now seen the film, it is front-and-centre in the comic book spin-off released by Vault Comics in the wake of the Kickstarter).

However, if anything, 2025's Deathstalker proves you can still make outrageous, trashy, dark fantasy sword-and-sorcery movies in this day and age that cater to audiences both old and new.

My "thank you" in the credits: best $10 I've ever invested in a Kickstarter 😉

Cult 1980's Fantasy Worth Watching (or Rewatching)

For some reason, fantasy movies feel especially good to revisit in winter, so in this video I decided to focus on the genre, specifically the 1980s.

You won’t find obvious picks like Krull, Excalibur, or Conan the Barbarian here, not because they don’t belong, but because you already know them well. Instead, this list makes room for slightly less popular titles.

Some proper classics here, including my boy, the pioneering Hawk The Slayer and his sleazy cousin Deathstalker, as well as Beastmaster and a wonderful Ray Harryhausen epic in the shape of Clash of The Titans (his Medusa is the definitive Medusa for me!).

Plenty of old school Dungeons & Dragons inspiration to be found in this lot as well.

"The Golden Age of Sci-Fi/Fantasy is 14"

In an old article on his blog about a youthful passion for the Dragonlance novels, Timothy S Brannan shared the wise saying: "The Golden Age of Sci-Fi/Fantasy is 14."

And this is so true.

The things we discover at that age stay with us.

For me, this would be around 1980... the year Hawk The Slayer came out.

I've written often of my love for this most Dungeons & Dragons of all fantasy movies (and probably will continue to do so).

At the dawn of the '80s, I was already engrossed in the stop-motion worlds of Ray Harryhausen fantasy movies (his last, Clash of The Titans, would come out in 1981), and this was also the era of the original Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back (which came out in 1980).

I was reading mainly sci-fi (Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, Stainless Steel Rat etc), if I recall correctly (inspired by the galaxy far, far away), but my young gaming hobby had propelled me to the works of Fritz Leiber.

His Fafhrd and The Grey Mouser stories would come to influence my Dungeons & Dragons adventures as much as Harryhausen's Sinbad at that time.

I was always a player - rather than a Dungeon Master - in my early years, so was interested in character ideas, rather than grander plots and world-building (not that I didn't appreciate them at that time, but they just weren't as useful from a gaming perspective).

I had yet to stumble upon the stack of New Teen Titans in a second-hand book store in Tunbridge Wells and become a fully-fledged comic book collector, but I still dabbled in that medium.

2000AD was my publication of choice at that age.

And, of course, all these things still hold sway over me and continue to influence my gaming and broader hobby interests.

I don't think I realised, until just now, quite how important the art we discover at that particular age is in shaping the sort of person we grow into in our adult life and our hobbies, passions, and interests.

HALLOWEEN HORROR: Countess Dracula (1971)

In 17th Century Hungary, the elderly and recently widowed Countess Elisabeth Nádasdy (Ingrid Pitt) discovers she can temporarily restore her youth and libido by bathing in the blood of young virginal women.

Initially, her secret is only known to her castellan Captain Dobi (Nigel Green, a familiar face from such classics as Zulu and Jason & The Argonauts), who has loved the countess from afar for two decades and sees the death of her husband as making way for him, and her brainwashed nurse, Julie (Patience Collier).

At the reading of her husband's will, the Countess finds herself attracted to a new arrival, Lt. Imre Toth (Sandor Elès, who has an air of Jonathan Rhys Meyers about him), the son of her husband's wartime colleague and heir to the Count's stables and collection of valuable horses.

Unfortunately, the will divides the late Count's estate between the Countess and their daughter, Ilona (Lesley-Anne Down, of North and South, and Dallas), who has yet to arrive back from a stay of many years in Vienna.

Thus, the Countess instructs Dobi to kidnap Ilona on her return to the area, and she is bundled off as a prisoner of mute woodsman Janco (Peter May), who's not the sharpest tool in the box but still manages to thwart her multiple escape attempts.

In the absence of the real Ilona, the de-aged Countess assumes the role of her daughter and seduces cavalry officer Toth.

However, because her dark magic never lasts longer than about 48 hours, the Countess finds herself switching between the 'characters' she plays in the castle, while also charging Dobi with finding her fresh victims.

The wise old librarian Grand Master Fabio (Maurice Denham) quickly becomes suspicious and starts to investigate the goings-on in the castle, but this comes at a cost.  

However, his downfall opens the eyes of Toth, just as the castle is forced into "lockdown" by the Chief Bailiff, Captain Balogh (Peter Jeffrey), who concludes that the person responsible for the recent spate of murders could be among the Countess's staff.

Blackmailed into staying, Toth is forced to go through with the planned wedding to the fake Ilona, but the Countess needs another bath of blood to maintain her looks and energy for the honeymoon.

With no visitors coming to the castle, the jealous Dobi has to retrieve a virgin for exsanguination so his unrequited love can find some kind of happiness with a younger man.

Guess who he brings back?

A solid, if ultimately unremarkable, slice of Hammer Horror fare, with music from Harry Robertson of Hawk The Slayer fame, this is a creative compression of the legend of the real Hungarian Countess Elizabeth Báthory, a real 16th Century serial killer said to have bathed in the blood of her victims.

Of course, the Countess isn't a classic cinematic vampire - there are no fangs on display, and she doesn't drink the blood, but rather uses it as skin cream - so the title Countess Dracula (shoehorned into the dialogue right at the last moment) is a slight misnomer. 

Mainly enjoyable for the charms of Ingrid Pitt, the film certainly improves the closer it gets to its climax, but to modern eyes one can't help thinking that with some judicious trimming of the fat this could have made a really good hour-long shocker.

I went into Countess Dracula pretty certain I'd seen it before, but as the tale unfolded, the more convinced I became that it was actually 'new' to me and I'd simply conflated it with the many other 'boobs and blood' vampire films I've sought out over the years.

Gwenevere (2023)

Poster by Sarah McIntyre

Banished from Camelot, Queen Gwenevere (Laura Frances Martin) must travel across wild country to the abbey where she is to live out her remaining years. She is accompanied by her loyal lady-in-waiting, Laudine (Joanna Neary) and young knight Sir Ruan (Jonny Hibbs). But their journey is interrupted by the menacing Knight of the Wild Woods...

Gwenevere: a film by Philip Reeve & Sarah Reeve, starring Laura Frances Martin, Joanna Neary, Jonny Hibbs, Tessa Arrowsmith-Brown, Sasha Innes and Roseanna Lambert. Guest appearance by Alan Lee. Shields designed by Sarah McIntyre. Music by Brian Mitchell. Filmed on Dartmoor.

As a long-time fan of the work of author Philip Reeve, I was delighted to learn that he was planning to bring his passion for Arthurian legends to life in a low-budget, short movie to be shot on Dartmoor, where he lives.

The resulting film, Gwenevere, was officially released on YouTube at the end of 2023.

It is a half-hour film following the titular queen (Laura Frances Martin) after she has been exiled from Camelot for her dalliance with Lancelot (Arran Hawkins).

She has been commanded to walk across country to the abbey where she will see out her days in quiet contemplation, accompanied only by her faithful handmaid, Laudine (an outstanding performance from Joanna Neary) and reluctant young knight Sir Ruan (Jonny Hibbs).

However, passing through some woodland their way is blocked by the mythical Knight of the Wild Woods (Niall Parker).

In the ensuing melee, Sir Ruan is rendered unconscious and the ladies bear him away to a nearby village, where they learn the story of the Knight of The Wild Woods.

Gwenevere then takes it upon herself to bring an end to the monstrous knight's reign of terror.

The beautiful short film is full of ethereal visuals and lyrical, evocative dialogue - as readers of Reeve's books have come to expect - strengthening the mythological bedrock upon which Gwenevere is built.

Dream logic and otherworldly rules lay at the heart of the story, while the smoke-filled forest is a visual tie to another classic of British fantasy film, my old favourite Hawk The Slayer.