Prisoners Of The Lost Universe (1983)

Three years after creating the most Dungeons & Dragons film of all time (Hawk The Slayer) Terry Marcel and Harry Robertson reunited to try and recapture that 'lightning in a bottle' magic with Prisoners Of The Lost Universe.

The chances are your impression of their success can be gauged against how well you feel George Lucas recaptured the magic of the original Star Wars trilogy in the Ewok movies.

Even bringing back Peter O'Farrell and Ray Charleson in essentially the same roles as they had in Hawk, a roguish dwarf and a gifted elfin creature, doesn't really help.

TV presenter Carrie Madison (Kay Lenz, best known as Thursday from the classic western The Great Scout & Cathouse Thursday) and handyman Dan (Richard Hatch aka Captain Apollo from the original Battlestar Galactica) find themselves shunted from our world to the primitive parallel world of Vonya. There the warlord, Kleel (a slumming-it John Saxon) is using his stash of Earth weaponry to maintain a brutal grip on the nomadic locals.

Kleel takes a shine to Carrie (because of her blonde hair and feisty nature) and it's up to Dan and the adventuring party he soon gathers (an elf, a dwarf, and a giant... sound familiar?) to rescue her.

As with Hawk, there's a strong whiff of Dungeons & Dragons in Prisoners Of The Lost Universe, with its abundance of random encounters.

But the cheesy monsters our heroes cross swords with are more reminiscent of the Italian low-budget sword-and-sandals fare such as the Hercules movies, Conquest etc that were being made around the same time.

Unfortunately for gamers - and neutral observers - all the humanoid monsters met are simply interchangeable, disposable goons in different costumes with no discernible differences in their abilities beyond their different outfits (be they midgets with glowing eyes, subterranean cloaked critters, or the Jason Voorhees-like waterbeast).

If Hawk The Slayer was Marcel and Robertson's Robert E Howard, then Prisoners Of The Lost Universe is their Edgar Rice Burroughs.

Despite the '80s opening on Earth and the presence of firearms, the sci-fi vibe that's suggested by the film's advertising (see poster/DVD cover above) is largely trampled by the fantasy elements, giving the film a micro-budget sword-and-planet John Carter of Mars flavour more than anything else.

Although Dan The Handyman is no John Carter!

On top of clunky dialogue and bargain basement effects, there's also a quite heavy-handed attempt to force humour into the mix by injecting some odd, comedy sound effects, which are totally cringe-worthy.

Trying too hard to lean into "camp charm", when such elements should be allowed to blossom naturally, it doesn't take long to realise why Prisoners Of The Lost Universe never gained the cult following that their earlier work did.

When Good Guys Go Bad: Epic Conclusion To Dune Trilogy

Dune: Part Three is set nearly two decades after Paul Atreides seized control of the Imperium. Now a ruthless Emperor, Paul must face the consequences of his reign as old allies return, terrifying new threats emerge, and betrayal lurks in every shadow.

Haunted by visions of Imperial collapse and the reappearance of his long-lost love, Paul is drawn into a sweeping conspiracy, with Chani at the heart of its unfolding mystery.

As rebellion brews and enemies close in, Paul must confront the true cost of power and the fate of those he loves the most.

Dune: Part Three lands in cinemas on December 18.

Outlander (2008)

Some ideas are so obvious - and brilliant - that you're surprised that no one has thought of them before.

As far as I am aware, Outlander is the first film to pit Eighth Century Norse Vikings against an extraterrestrial monster!

Jim Caviezel is Kainan, the sole humanoid survivor of a crashed spaceship in Norway, but he soon discovers that an alien Moorwen has tagged along - the dragon-like beasts that his race have been fighting - and it's rampaging around the woody neighbourhood.

Kainen is captured by Viking warrior Wulfric (Jack Huston) and taken before king Rothgar (John Hurt).

The "outlander" tries to convince the locals of the Moorwen's existence, but they prefer to blame the attacks on a giant bear.

Matters are further complicated by the return of Gunnar (Ron Perlman) and his troops, who believe Rothgar's men raided their village while they were away trading - little realising it was the Moorwen.

Rothgar's warrior daughter Freya (Sophia Myles, of vampire detective series Moonlight and Doctor Who's Girl In The Fireplace) takes a shine to Kainan, despite Wulfric's desire to have her, but Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain's script manages to sidestep the cliched love triangle sub-plot by, instead, focusing on the grudging respect that grows between Wulfric and Kainan.

Opening with suggestions of Predator and even the original Planet Of The Apes, Outlander quickly develops into a superb Dungeons And Dragons-flavoured "man against monster" movie and a strong contender for the title of Top Film Of 2009!

The excitement is non-stop, the battle scenes are superb, with just the right dash of gruesome (there's one particularly shocking decapitation which caught me by surprise) that culminates in a tense engagement between the Vikings - led by Wulfric and Kainan - and the Moorwen in the beast's charnel lair.

What helps to elevate this story above the usual fare though is the backstory of Kainan and the Moorwen which reveals that Kainan's people aren't really the "good guys" when you view the larger picture and it was their treatment of the Moorwen that provoked the whole situation in the first place.

There are a few minor plot wobbles along the way - Freya seems almost indestructible whenever she is cornered by the man-eating beastie and there is some ridiculously fast sword-making by the Vikings when they are preparing for the final showdown - but these are trivial issues compared to the sheer thrill ride of the movie as a whole.

Jim Caviezel is a solid action hero while the ever-reliable Ron Perlman and John Hurt both bring their A-Game in roles that were made for them.

A simple, without being simplistic, script, delivered by great actors on top form, aided by slick special effects and a particularly imposing monster, make Outlander's 110 minute duration pure entertainment of the highest calibre.

INSPIRATION! INSPIRATION! INSPIRATION!

Although I sometimes feel a bit of a heathen, the majority of my inspiration for gaming is visual (e.g. movies, TV, comics etc), which is why I have a soft spot for art books.

As much as I enjoy reading, ultimately it's "the pictures" that more often hook me into a particular narrative or environment.

While not in the slightest artistically gifted myself, a great piece of art sets my creative neurons firing, giving me a new window into the current fantasy setting of choice - generally one of my own creation for whatever roleplaying game I'm "into" at that moment.

As we speak, I'm really hungry to play (run?) a swords-and-sorcery roleplaying game, which is why my comic book pull-list is increasingly filled with titles that either land squarely in that genre or, at least, have some tangential connection.

Yes, I have many comics, graphic novels, omnibuses etc, along with a broad library of movies and TV shows that scratch that particular itch, but there's always room for the straight-forward art book, with erudite commentary.
 
Thus, this week, I've acquired a second-hand, hardback copy of Paul Kidby's The Art of Discworld and the brand new, just-published softback edition of The Book of Jusko.

Joe Jusko's striking artwork can be seen on the covers of sword-and-sorcery, sword-and-planet, horror and superhero comics, as well as paperback novels, calendars etc

You can open either of these tomes at a random page and be swept away to another world, which is exactly the kind of extra fuel I need to keep the mental fires of my fantasy gaming dreams from fizzling out.

Masters of The Universe (2026)

When the evil Skeletor (a surprisingly perfect Jared Leto) and his monstrous legions invade the city of Eternos, capital city of the planet of Eternia, young Prince Adam (Artie Wilkinson-Hunt) is magically sent to Earth (with the all-important Sword of Power) by The Sorceress (Morena Baccarin).

Unfortunately, along the way he loses the sword and so spends the next 15 years on Earth looking for it.

Now grown up Adam (Nicholas Galitzine) is stuck in a tedious corporate cubicle job until he is finally reunited with his magical sword.

This sends a signal back to Eternia - drawing the attention of both Skeletor's lieutenant, Beastman (voiced by Gary Martin) and Adam's childhood friend, Teela (Riverdale's Camila Mendes), who both race to find him as quickly as possible.

Whisked back to his home planet, Adam immediately discovers it is no longer the beautiful place he remembers, but has been devastated by Skeletor and his minions. Meanwhile, the heroes Adam was surrounded by as a child are downtrodden and no longer recognise him.

It is Adam's job to channel the power of his magical inheritance, boost the morale of his old friends, and overthrow the tyrannical Skeletor.

Masters of The Universe is a great 140-minute, light-hearted, action movie, barely slowing down for its entire duration, thanks for the excellent direction of Travis Knight (sadly, no relation).

This 45-year-old franchise has a rich - and oft confusing - amount of lore behind it already, but screenplay writers Chris Butler, Aaron Nee, Adam Nee, and Dave Callaham carve their own path that is both immediately accessible to anyone coming to the story for the first time yet also honouring what has gone before (including a slew of Easter Eggs).

Emphasising Adam's time on Earth adds a swords-and-planet veneer to what has always been (to me) a pumped up swords-and-sorcery epic. His mother, Queen Marlena (Charlotte Riley) fleeting points out that she actually came from Earth, but this is never dwelt on. As with everything in Masters of The Universe this nugget sweeps in front of the audience at warp speed.

Travis Knight ensures nothing drags in his movie. From the trailers I'd feared that too much time might be spent setting up Adam's life on Earth, but I was so wrong. Even moments later on that I thought might be slowing the action down quickly hit the accelerator again.

Occasionally self-depreciating, the film's humour sometimes strays in to "more adult" territory, but this will probably be lost on younger members of the audience anyway, while the rapid fire delivery of some of the double entendres pretty much guarantees eyes and ears will be immediately distracted by the next shiny thing to flash across the screen.

While, it's not the greatest film ever made, it's full of heart and - most importantly - fun. This is no post-modern reimagining of the classic Masters of The Universe set-up: Skeletor and his army are the bad guys, Prince Adam and his are the good guys, end of.

Packed to the gills with interesting side-characters, the often camp nature of Masters of The Universe definitely has it leaning into Flash Gordon territory, but it also shares many traits with the original Star Wars movie, and, possibly in a different cinematic climate, I'm sure this could be "the next big thing".

If there is any justice in the world, Masters of The Universe will be the start of a massive new movie franchise, the final scenes (including one mid-credits) spotlight familiar faces who didn't appear in the main movie but we'd love to see more of in any upcoming projects.

Meet The Heroes and Villains of Eternia

GET HYPED! Prince Adam's Coming Home To Eternia

Masters of The Universe sees director Travis Knight bring the legendary franchise back to the big screen in this epic live-action adventure.

After being separated for 15 years, the Sword of Power leads Prince Adam (Nicholas Galitzine) back to Eternia where he discovers his home shattered under the fiendish rule of Skeletor (Jared Leto).

To save his family and his world, Adam must join forces with his closest allies, Teela (Camila Mendes) and Duncan/Man-At-Arms (Idris Elba), and embrace his true destiny as He-Man — the most powerful man in the universe.

Outlaw of Gor (1988)

Filmed concurrently with Gor,Outlaw Of Gor is a half-baked sequel with a turgid plot and apathetic acting that makes the original look almost Oscar-worthy in comparison.

It's about 40 years since I read John Norman's Outlaw Of Gor but I'm pretty sure this limp movie bares very little resemblance to its supposed source material.

Set three years after the events of Gor (we learn this from the VHS cassette box, not the film itself) and Tarl Cabot (Urbano Barberini) is summoned back to Counter-Earth, but this time his slimy colleague from the university, the lecherous Watney Smith (Russel Savadier), accidentally tags along... and has no problem adjusting to the fact that the pair of them have suddenly arrived on an alien planet.

Before that though, for anyone perverse enough to want to watch Outlaw Of Gor without first having seen Gor, Tarl has a very convenient flashback précising the events of the first movie - but without mentioning Oliver Reed's rather central character (obviously they didn't want to have to pay him again).

Our less-than-dynamic duo make their way to Ko-Ro-Ba (which is noticeably different to what we saw in the first film), where Tarl is reunited with his love Talena (Rebecca Ferrati), her father Marlenus (Larry Taylor), a village elder who treats Tarl like an old friend, but I'm pretty sure we've never met before (Alex Heyns), and the sinister Priest-King Xenos (a bewildered Jack Palance, who is still not an insectoid alien).

Cabot's arrival at Ko-Ro-Ba prompts a truly hilarious sequence where random people just shout "Cabot" (one of the many bizarre moments in Outlaw Of Gor ridiculed by MST3K). The strange thing about this is until they arrived on Gor, I was convinced Watney had been calling his friend "Kevin", not "Cabot".

However, things are not all hunky-dory in Ko-Ro-Ba. Turns out Marlenus has hooked up with duplicitous Queen Lara (Donna Denton), who is secretly in league with Xenos in a bid for ultimate power (over a single village - not exactly epic ambitions).

Lara promptly seduces Watney ("Tell me, how do they make love on your planet?"), kills Marlenus and frames Tarl.

However, as if one Jar Jar Binks in his life wasn't enough, Tarl is also reunited with the midget Hup (Nigel Chipps), who is even more pointless in this movie than he was in the original.

Tarl and Hup go on the run in the desert - little realising that Lara has sent Ost The Hunter (Tullio Moneta), a monosyllabic bounty hunter, after them with the express orders that Cabot be brought back alive.

Ultimately this fuels a rift between Xenos and Lara (Xenos accuses her of acting like a "bitch in heat") and eventually culminates in one of the most embarrassingly degrading death scenes for a Hollywood legend in the history of B-movie cinema.

Where the plot of Gor at least moved forward, in Outlaw Of Gor it just goes round and round.

If it wasn't for the awful lines and risible fight scenes, this film could almost be called tedious.

But thankfully, it has some wonderfully WTF moments that make bad cinema so great.

A particular highlight here is the character of a nameless slave girl that Tarl and Hup rescue from slavers in the desert (a sequence in itself so laughable as to be a classic - just watch the slavers reaction at the end when they are standing around as their camp burns down around them).

From the moment she first appears among a crowd of slaves the camera picks her out as "someone important". She is then rescued and, in true Gor style, offers to "pleasure" Tarl as a reward. He refuses, because of his love of Talena. Then they are all captured - rather easily - by Ost, who takes them back to Ko-Ra-Ba, where the slave girl gets chained up in the mines... and promptly forgotten about. Never to be mentioned, or seen, again!

All this sets up the climactic fight sequence, which is another masterclass in "what the frakkery" as Ost changes his allegiance for no readily explained reason and tips the scales in Tarl's favour.

As you may have guessed, Outlaw Of Gor isn't particularly well-written. Not only is it full of clunky dialogue (much of which clashes with the themes of John Norman's books), but many things happen without explanation.

The character of Xenos is totally wasted, as all his Machiavellian machinations are just echoes of the more successful Queen Lara's schemes, and the nameless slave girl - who you are led to believe is crucial to something or other - is simply filling a narrative role that Talena could have taken.

I'm also not sure why this merits an 18 certificate, while the original was only a 15. Once again there's no nudity or cussing and the fights are comparatively tame (Tarl has a knack for killing floored opponents by stabbing the ground beside them). I can only imagine it's possibly because of the reasonably protracted torture scene of Tarl being whipped for Lara's pleasure.

The cassette box claims that "Tarl embarks on a series of wild adventures battling the strange and magical creatures who live in this forbidding universe". Doesn't happen. There are no "strange and magical creatures" to be seen anywhere in Outlaw Of Gor... and even "wild adventures" is stretching things a bit!

"He's Not The Messiah, He's A Very Naughty Boy!"

Experience the epic conclusion. Dune: Part Three only in cinemas and IMAX December 18.

Directed by Denis Villeneuve and written by Villeneuve and Brian K. Vaughan, Dune: Part Three is based on the novel Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert and delivers the epic conclusion to Villeneuve’s trilogy.

The film stars Timothée Chalamet, Zendaya, Jason Momoa, Florence Pugh, Rebecca Ferguson, Isaach De Bankolé, with Charlotte Rampling, with Anya Taylor-Joy, and Robert Pattinson, and Javier Bardem, and features newcomers Nakoa-Wolf Momoa and Ida Brooke.

Gor (1987)

Generally I'm not one to complain if a movie based on a novel doesn't stick one hundred per cent to its source material, but this 1987 adaptation of John Norman's Tarnsman of Gor is simply taking the piss.

Branded as John Norman's Gor, the opening credits proudly proclaim that this film is based on Tarnsman of Gor - but the first thing you notice is the marked absence of any actual tarns: the roc-like warbirds the warriors of Gor ride into battle.

Instead they have horses.

This is pretty much on a par with Peter Jackson replacing the eagles with Irish Wolfhounds in The Hobbit or Lord of The Rings trilogies.

But this isn't the only peculiar choice scriptwriters Rick Marx and Harry Alan Tower and director Fritz Kiersch make in this un-faithful of adaptation of Norman's 1966 pulpy sword-and-planet story.

It almost feels as if they scanned through the book, picked out key names and phrases and then scattered them at random throughout the script.

We first meet our protagonist, wimpy physics professor Tarl Cabot (Urbano Barberini) lecturing bored students about the magical ring he inherited from his father and its connection to an alien world known as Counter-Earth or Gor (which is odd because when he actually arrives on this alien world and is told the planet's name he doesn't register that this is the place he was talking about 10 minutes earlier).

Having lost his girl to a campus bully (an early appearance from The Mummy's Arnold Vosloo), Cabot is involved in a car accident and wakes up to find himself on Counter-Earth.

However, it's not the alien world readers of the Gor books would be familiar with - the towering spires of the Gorean cities have been replaced by mud huts and caves, while the verdant nature of Gor is replaced with never-ending deserts (more Barsoom than Gor).

Clumsy Tarl accidentally stumbles into the role of hero when the village of Ko-Ro-Ba is raided by the soldiers of Priest-King Sarm (Oliver Reed) - in the books the Priest-Kings are large insectoid creatures, but not here - who are stealing the village's mystical Home Stone (a big point in the book is how bland and ordinary the Home Stones are) and kidnapping the village's ruler, Marlenus (Larry Taylor).

In the book, Marlenus is, in fact, the villain of the piece and it is his megalomaniacal schemes to take over Gor that Tarl is opposed to. Here, he's just some old duffer that Tarl has to rescue - aided by Marlenus' daughter Talena (Rebecca Ferratti) and other random one-dimensional characters - including an annoying midget called Hup (Nigel Chipps). No, I don't know why, either!

With a two-minute training montage, idiot Tarl is transformed into hero Tarl and the plot devolves rapidly into a run-of-the-mill "lifting the yoke of slavery" storyline - which, again, anyone familiar with Norman's Gor series will appreciate the irony of.

Given the general level of sauciness in the novels, it's bizarre that when Tarl is taken to Sarm's decadent palace of delights, it's more Flash Gordon than Flesh Gordon.

This is possibly the only '80s babes-and-barbarians movie where the women keep all their clothes on!

Then just as you think everything is coming to an end, and you're wondering where Jack Palance - mentioned high in the opening credits - has got to, Jack Palance appears, as another Priest-King, and introduces a whole other storyline which goes nowhere and doesn't appear to amount to anything.

Who could have realised they were actually, rather clumsily, setting up a sequel - Outlaw Of Gor - that was filmed alongside Gor?

While Palance is barely in this movie, mention must be made of the other big name though: Oliver Reed. Clearly the worse for wear from drink in many of his scenes, I hope Oli's towering genius was well-rewarded with alcohol for allowing his name - and talent - to be attached to such a trashy flick as this.

Gor is one of those incredible pieces of cinema that is so changed from its source material you have to wonder why the film-makers didn't go the whole hog and simply make it its own thing. It's not as the Gor books have ever had the same cultural cachet of, say, Lord Of The Rings.

There are only really a couple of minor details that they actually get right, subtle little background details (such as the Gorean drink 'paga'), that it would have far simpler to have changed the character and place names (most of which are already used incorrectly anyway) to something else and dropped the Gor connection entirely.

On the plus side, Gor is full of unintentionally funny moments, crappy fight sequences, no-budget special effects, a plot that meanders all over the place, and a drunk Oliver Reed. And Oliver Reed - drunk or sober - can make anything watchable.

Beastmaster 2 - Through The Portal Of Time (1991)

Several years ago Rachel's dad helped us wire up a variety of technical doohickies to our TV in the old house, which meant that - after a very long break - we finally had, for a while, a working VHS player again in the house. I know, very retro!

Which brings us to: Beastmaster 2 - Through The Portal Of Time, an old VHS tape I've had knocking about for ages - but with no way to play it.

And you know what, it wasn't half as bad as I'd heard.

The Beastmaster Dar (Marc Singer) is leading a rebellion against wizard-warrior Arklon (a scenery-devouring turn from Wings Hauser) - who turns out to be Dar's brother, for all the difference that makes.

Arklon teams up with jive-talking witch Lyranna (Superman II's Sarah Douglas) who happens to know that Arklon's main weapon, the magical Key Of Magog, can open a portal she has been studying... to a parallel world (not "through time").

This parallel world turns out to be early '90s L.A. and Lyranna also happens to know of a mighty Earth weapon called the "neutron detonator", which Arklon immediately wants to get his hands on.

Complicating matters further is annoying senator's daughter Jackie Trent (Kari Wuhrer) who accidentally drives her sports car through the portal - from Earth - and ends up befriending Dar and his menagerie of animal helpers.

Jackie is captured by Arklon and Lyranna and Dar chases them all back through the portal to Earth - where Dar is promptly arrested by the L.A. police.

This all unfolds at breakneck speed and before you know it, Arklon has trashed a department store and broken into a military base (with Lyranna's aid) to steal the neutron detonator. There's some double-crossing on the baddies' side - and Lyranna eventually disappears out the picture.

Arklon proceeds to demonstrate what a total moron he is, after standing right in front of the open portal back to his world, by deciding to drive back into L.A. - forgetting that his nemesis can control animals (luckily so do the scriptwriters) - and make his final stand in the Los Angeles Zoo!

The dialogue throughout is pretty dire, with Jackie's constant unfunny one-liners a particular nuisance and the animals' occasional "humorous" thought balloons totally groan-worthy, but the pacing and action is solid. The whole "fish-out-of-water" scenario isn't overdone either - with Arklon,  for instance, using his ability to drain others' memories adapting to 20th Century Earth very quickly.

Quite mercifully, no cliché romantic sub-plot develops between Dar and Jackie and, instead, they remain friends and travelling compaigns throughout their adventures.

Beastmaster 2 is a rather camp sequel to the classic original, but approached from a gaming perspective, it certainly suggests a leftfield campaign plot-twist worthy of the great Gary Gygax himself.

What old school Dungeon Master worth his salt wouldn't want to send his player-characters on a journey to contemporary Earth?

And don't worry, the portal has a TARDIS-like ability that grants everyone, from both sides, the automatic power to understand each others' language.

And Now For Something (Almost) Completely Different

My bargain haul

Like a great many geeks of a certain age, I love - and am continually inspired by - Edgar Rice Burroughs' John Carter of Mars series of pulp novels.

Way, way back in 2018 Modiphius Entertainment was Kickstarting a John Carter roleplaying game (one of their 'everything at once' splurge releases of multiple books, miniatures, dice, tile sets etc) and, for a minute, I was 'all-in'.

But then, it struck me that (a) I'm not really a fan of their 2d20 house system, (b) releasing everything at once means a LOT of reading (and their books tend towards the tiny text-heavy), and (c) none of my gaming group had ever expressed any interest in Barsoom or John Carter, which would mean having to 'teach' them all about the Martian cultures, language etc on top of a new set of rules.

So, I cancelled my Kickstarter pledge and consigned the game to the dusty halls of my "what could have been" dream storage unit.

As far as I could tell, after the initial gush of books (that were part of the Kickstarter), Modiphius didn't do anything else with the setting and let it fade, with the system only popping up in the occasional sale listing.

Books from Modiphius tend to be beautifully produced, often hardbacks, and sport a heft price tag. 

I've got their Conan The Barbarian core rules book and the more recent Dune one, but mainly to look nice on my shelves. Both of these were acquired via eBay for a fraction of their 'recommended retail price'. 

Conan - like John Carter - is another property that Modiphius no longer supports (although old John Carter books remain available at full retail cost). 

The license for Conan has reverted to Heroic Signatures, who are publishing a fresh roleplaying game through Monolith, which is due out later this year.

Conan RPG from Modiphius

The last, active, mention of John Carter in connection to roleplaying I remember seeing was a 5th Edition Dungeons & Dragons supplement as part of a Kickstarter for an audiobook series.

And with that, John Carter - as a roleplaying game - slipped out of my mind.

Until, the other day, when an advert popped up somewhere for a Modiphius "moving warehouse" sale. And I thought: why not take a look?

And I was gobsmacked: the few John Carter items they had listed were going for pennies.

I didn't really need a new game, but how could I resist the core, hardback, rules for £4; tile sets (airships and ruins) for £1.50 each (which have potential utility in a variety of settings); and a player's guide and character cards/tokens set also for £1.50 each?

With postage, I got this lot (see picture at top of article) for under £20, saving almost a hundred quid on their original list price. 

Will I do anything with these rules? Who knows? Or will they just sit prettily on my shelves next to Conan and Dune?

At least, now, seven years later, I actually have the John Carter core books in hand, and I'm sure there are other companies out there manufacturing John Carter-inspired miniatures to sword fight across the deck of my airships!

Of course, I could let this slide on a technicality by reminding you that John Carter himself - before he was transported to Barsoom/Mars - was an American Civil War veteran, a Confederate captain from Virginia, which kinda makes him part of my on-going Western theme.