Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

I won't bore you rambling on about my long-term affinity for this messy franchise - since writing my university dissertation (in part) on the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre - but when a spiffy new Blu-Ray edition of Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III was announced I was 98 percent sure I hadn't actually seen this particular entry.

Trouble is there seem to be so many sequels and reboots it's difficult to remember which are connected to which, and which of those I've actually watched.

For instance, the most recent offering was 2022's Texas Chainsaw Massacre from Netflix which was a direct sequel to the original and brought back a key "victim" from that movie.

However, 1990's Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (not to be confused with 2017's Leatherface) immediately declares itself a continuation of the original story (conveniently sidestepping and forgetting the deranged slapstickery of Texas Chainsaw Massacre II) with its opening text that declares the character who appears in the Netflix sequel to actually have died in 1977!

TCM III isn't just a sequel, it's really a retelling of the original story, just in a more condensed form.

Bickering student couple Ryan (William Butler) and Michelle (Kate Hodge) are on a roadtrip from California to Florida when they pull into a Last Chance Gas Station, in the middle of nowhere, Texas, and encounter its sleazy owner, Alfredo (Tom Everett).

While filling up the car and using the facilities, the couple also meet a hitchhiker called Tex (The Lord of The Rings' Aragorn himself Viggo Mortensen in an early appearance).

Although Ryan won't give him a lift, he does listen to Tex's talk of a shortcut down a road that isn't on their map.

A fight erupts at the gas station between Alfredo and Tex and, as the young couple flee, they believe they see Tex getting blasted with a shotgun.

To escape the clutches of the perverted gas station attendant they take Tex's shortcut, but end up lost and in the dark... and being chased by a mysterious, giant four-wheel drive truck that forces them off the road.

In the ensuing chaos, they have their first encounter with Leatherface (R.A. Mihailoff), and end up running into 'weekend warrior' Benny (Dawn of The Dead's iconic Ken Foree), who was heading into the mountains for a "survivalist camp".

Leatherface captures Ryan, while Michelle discovers a large house that she hopes will offer her sanctuary and/or a way to contact the authorities.

Of course, she's clearly never seen a horror movie... because this is the home of Leatherface's creepy, cannibalistic family!

Honestly, there isn't really much to Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. It's only 85-minutes long and retreads a lot of familiar ground, but it's also a helluva lot of gonzo fun.

Directed by Jeff Burr and written by David J Schow, there's a surprising attention to detail that I really appreciated - such as Leatherface wearing a leg brace (after he injured himself swinging his chainsaw at the end of the original movie) and the little girl (Jennifer Banko) naming her dolly Sally (after the Final Girl in the original movie, Sally Hardesty).

The legend Kane Hodder (best known for his turns as Jason Voorhees in the Friday The 13th franchise) was stunt co-ordinator on TCMIII and, apparently, even doubled for R.A. Mihailoff as Leatherface.

The film tries to emulate the suggested violence of the original by having the most brutal moments occur off camera, but TCM III comes up short on atmosphere because the grit and grim of Tobe Hooper's classic are replaced here by an air of cheapness.

Yet while Leatherface himself seems a bit bargain-basement, there's no escaping the fact that this is a small-scale rollickin' adventure that thematically, with its frequent reliance on a nearby swamp, foreshadows Adam Green's Hatchet series of slasher movies.

The addition of Ken Foree's Benny adds an interesting dynamic, as he's able to bring some genuine firepower to a chainsaw fight, even if the film's heavy-handed plotting does feel obliged to stick to the obligatory Final Girl trope.

And, no, it turns out I definitely hadn't seen Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III before. But I'm glad I have now.

Who's Ready For Some Ruff Justice?

I suspect the cover is a strong clue to the quality of the Ruff Justice series

The arrival of any eBay purchase brings with it a certain frisson of excitement, but it's been a long while since I was as hyped as I was about today's arrival of 10 trashy Western novels all the way from the Good Ol' US of A.

This was my very first purchase from eBay in the States (as opposed to the UK, where I've shopped frequently since the year 2000) and it granted me a thrilling point-by-point ability to track the parcel on its 15 day voyage from Oklahoma to my front door.

My new Ruff Justice collection

But what had driven me to make such a trans-Atlantic investment?

Booktube, of course!

Late last month, my favourite Booktuber, Michael K Vaughn, took delivery of a box of Westerns that he'd been sent ahead of June on The Range. 

Among this collection was a book from a 1980's series I'd never heard of before: Ruff Justice.

I was immediately hooked by its obvious low-brow, sex-and-violence trashiness and knew I had to get some Ruff Justice titles for my growing collection.

But it turned out that even the individual titles (and Goodreads says there's 28 in the "adult Western" series) are nigh on impossible to find over here in the UK or are ridiculously pricey when they do appear.

So, I gave up hope of ever getting to read the adventures of former army scout Ruffin T Justice, and just kept my fingers crossed that maybe one day my eBay alert would flash up an affordable edition.

But then later, just Googling the series name threw up a link to eBay in the States. Normally I'd just move on, ignore it, and keep hunting on this side of The Pond. 

But the 10 books listed in the bundle looked in decent shape and once I'd calculated the combined cost of the books and shipping it worked out at just over a couple of quid per volume. I thought that was really reasonable, and an investment that wasn't likely to come along again any time soon.

So I pulled the trigger.

And, boy, I'm glad I did. 

The books look great and I can't wait to dive into the first (Widow Creek, number four in the series).

As someone who hungrily devoured Mack Bolan: The Executioner pulp novels in his formative years, I'm braced for a certain level of glorious crassness (not that I recall any rumpy-pumpy in The Executioner, that was all just killing).

It has to be said that the few reviews I've seen online for this less well-known Western series (written by Paul Lederer under the pseudonym of Warren T Longtree and published by Signet) are a mixed bag but generally aren't exactly flattering. 

But who cares, right?

I wonder if Ruffin T Justice will find his way into my Dead Man's Hand games or possibly some future roleplaying game scenario?

Only time will tell.

Before we go our separate ways, I must point out that I was incredibly impressed with the packaging of these books (I guess I'm used to Amazon's often 'devil-may-care approach to shipping books).

Here's a photo-record of my unboxing experience:

American Civil War Horror Flick 'Resurrection Road' Pits iZombie's Malcolm Goodwin Against Confederate Monsters

An elite squad of six Black soldiers, led by ex-slave Barabbas, have been sent on a suicide mission; to infiltrate a Confederate fort deep in the Arkansas woods and blow up its long-range guns, altering the course of the war.

But as they venture further into enemy territory, the mission takes a chilling turn. The soldiers uncover a dark and sinister secret buried within the heart of the forest - one that will test their courage, loyalty, and will to survive like never before.

Resurrection Road is out now on digital in the States, and is available in the UK on DVD in September - trust me, I've pre-ordered it!

Things Are Getting A Mite Weird Round These Parts!

This week's mail call had a very "weird west" flavour to it, with the arrival of Down Darker Trails (Chaosium's official Old West supplement for Call of Cthulhu) and We Deal In Lead (an indie game HEAVILY inspired by Stephen King's Dark Tower saga).

From an initial perusal I reckon both of these will remain in the "research and inspiration" pile, rather than actually hitting the table. 

At the moment I cannot see either replacing Go Fer Yer Gun! or Deadlands as my 'go-to' system, should I ever have a chance to gamesmaster a western campaign (weird or otherwise) for the Tuesday Knights.

Down Darker Trails, like all good Call of Cthulhu supplements and adventures is highly detailed (I love having stats for a selection of Old West 'celebrities', from Billy The Kid to Wyatt Earp), but probably too intricate for my current style of gamesmastering.

I'm sure Call of Cthulhu would have a better chance if I could keep my brain focussed on the single objective of a running a great Weird West horror campaign, but I'm too easily distracted and/or overwhelmed by thick, dense rules books.

Conversely, We Deal In Lead is ultra-streamlined, meaning that - despite the game's magnificent setting - I already feel as though the rules remove too much of the potential excitement of the combat elements of the game.

Also, I fear the prospect of a "freeform" magic system would go down like a lead balloon. My players have made it clear they like a list of spells to pick and choose from.

But, as I say, these are just first impressions, I haven't given either book a fair shake yet and so am not writing them off.

Although, getting way ahead of myself, I am rolling around the idea of a Dark Tower-inspired campaign using Go Fer Yer Gun! as the engine, with some fuel borrowed from We Deal In Lead.

Clint Eastwood's Favourite (And Least Favourite) Westerns

Eastwood doesn't talk about Westerns like a critic — he talks about them like a guy who's seen it all. He'll praise a flop the studio buried, trash his own movie so hard he nearly walked away from acting, and call The Ox-Bow Incident a masterpiece after his own producers called it worthless. These are the Westerns Eastwood calls the best ever made — and two he wishes he never touched.

Character Posters For The Daily Planet Staff in Superman

PROJECT 60: Settlers Are Arriving and The Town Is Growing

My first collection of painted gunfighters for Dead Man's Hand

PROJECT 60 - and particularly my plans for the Wild West skirmish game, Dead Man's Hand - is really gaining momentum now.

Today, I received back my first batch of painted miniatures from my painter, Matt. You can get a taste of what they were like unpainted here and check out the pictures in this post to see what an amazing transformation Matt's skill with a brush has brought to them.

They are posed outside my latest building acquisition: a completed and painted MDF Western blacksmiths (with stable), a great purchase from eBay.

This will sit nicely with my nameless saloon, and the other buildings I have yet to build myself (those that came in the Dead Man's Hand Redux starter set and a couple of others I was unable to resist).

I'm pretty certain I already have enough buildings to create a small town, suitable for play.

I just need to boost up my number of miniature gunfighters - and innocent civilians - and (once again) tidy up the games room, so I can display all this material and do it justice.

Luckily, I am already assembling a second wave of miniatures to dispatch to Matt as soon as possible, but there are so many lovely 28mm Western miniatures out there that it's easy to keep getting distracted.

In the front we have Cullen Bohannon, Jonah Hex, Timmy The Flea, and The Man With No Name 

Beside The Man With No Name, we have Django (complete with coffin) and General Custer

Beyond this fantastic development, I've also been tinkering in the garden room, rebasing some old Western miniatures in my collection with the flatter Great Escape Games bases instead of the chunky Games Workshop ones that were my default setting more many decades.

A quartet of characters in the process of being rebased

I also need to summon up the courage to start assembling a couple of gangs from the multipart gunfighters that came in the Dead Man's Hand starter box.

I have ideas for themes: one based upon my own Hole-In-The-Head Gang, led by Timmy The Flea, and another based upon the main characters of The High Chaparral TV show.

I'm just slightly reticent because of my stroke-addled lack of manual dexterity and the minuteness of the parts for the figures.

The Gilded Age, Season Three, Trailer

Season Three of one of our favourite dramas, The Gilded Age, premieres June 23 on Sky in the UK.

Th show airs on Max in the States.

Every new season is like a welcome surprise, because while I know quite a few people who love this show it never seems to make waves in the pop culture pond.

Flying under the radar, Rachel and I don't hear anything about new seasons until they are suddenly almost upon us. 

Set in the ranks of high society in 1880's New York, during a time of rapid expansion, industrialisation, and wealth inequity, season three's trailer (see screengrab below) suggests there might be some venturing out West as well... which really is the cherry on the cake.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: School Daze

Having somehow fluked a scholarship to the prestigious Tonbridge School (I think I used to be smart... but also lazy; some things haven't changed, at least), I attended Yardley Court Prep School for three years and the picture above is our class photo from 1979, when I was a mere twelve-and-a-half years old.

I still recognise about 50 per cent of my classmates; that's me on the front row, at the right end.

My best friends were Nicholas Drewett, to my left - whose dad was an ambassador (or some such) and so often during the holidays Nicholas would stay with us as his parents were out of the country - and Tom Edwards, at the left-hand end of the middle row. His parents owned a massive farm house just outside of Tonbridge that I loved visiting.

Tom and I used to play Dungeons & Dragons in the school dormitory (even though neither of us were boarders, and probably shouldn't have been in there). I particularly recall a series of adventures inspired by Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy (Tom had introduced me to the radio show, for which I owe him eternal thanks).

Our form teacher was the Rev Gary Dobbie, who was one of the first (after one of my primary school teachers) to encourage me in the field of creative writing.

As with much of my past, the combination of time and brain damage means that much of my school days are a blur or simply gone forever, but looking at this array of innocent young faces I can't help but wonder what my peers have all got up in their lives since then.

Sadly, when I left Yardley - not to go to Tonbridge School (as, even with a scholarship, there was no way my parents could afford the fees, and - to be honest - I wasn't that bothered anyway) - I lost contact with them all, to a man.

Either through my parents, or my job on the local paper, I made fleeting contact with a couple of them in later years, but nothing of enduring importance.