An ice cream van rolls into the idyllic-looking American town of of Bayleen Bay, driven by the titular creepily polite, but mute,
Ice Cream Man (Ari Millen).
The night after consuming his wares, the children of the town turn into psychotic monsters and start killing and dismembering adults... starting with their parents and then, the next day at school, their teachers and so on.
Only a handful of youngsters are unaffected, for various reasons, such as lactose-intolerant Jared Mayfair (Charlie Zeltzer) and a couple of his classmates, Tommy (Shiloh O'Reilly) and Mia (Kiori Mirza Waldman).
Once they figure out what's going on, they then have to find a way to stop it, while avoiding the hordes of possessed kids who are trying to convert them to their 'cause'.
There's a lot of running about as gruesome things are going around our protagonists and I suspect the child actors were having a field day with all those gnarly prosthetics, rubbery internal organs and fake blood.
For those triggered by the thought of awful things being inflicted on minors, have no fear: the children are doing all the inflicting and one of the 'superpowers' the ice cream appears to gift them is a form of immortality anyway.
Neither a remake of the cult 1995 Clint Howard film of the same name nor an adaptation of the popular horror comic book series of the same name,
Ice Cream Man was writer/director Eli Roth's first offering through his new production company,
The Horror Section, and is apparently an idea he's been mulling over for years and could never get other film studios interested in.
And I can see why. And it's not because of the gross-out gore and tasteless humour, it's simply because there isn't enough story on the page to merit an hour and a half offering.
Ice Cream Man is sprinkled with obvious homages to Romero zombie flicks, Hitchcock's
The Birds, Stephen King and
Goosebumps-style child-centric horror and even
Nightmare on Elm Street (
during the expositional info dump that takes the story into its final act).
However, there isn't really anything narratively original enough in this film
to make it memorable if you take away the intricately detailed carnage.
Given that everything hinges on a big twist in the dying moments of the movie, the film really could have been drastically cut down - even from its minimalist 86 minute runtime - to a short film or a TV episode.
In all honesty, it's a 45-minute
Eerie, Indiana plot padded with a lot of blood and guts that gets kinda repetitive the longer the yarn takes to unravel.
That said, I think, at its core, the meat of the script by Roth and Noah Belson is probably sharper than most people would give it credit for, and I really appreciated the unexpectedly dark, nihilistic ending.
Another aspect of
Ice Cream Man that really worked for me was the fact that much of the action takes place in broad daylight. Not enough horror films have the chutzpah to do that and I applaud Roth for that creative choice.
I also cannot deny that everyone onscreen does a damn fine job - the young actors in particular are surprisingly engaging - but the bulk of the script is infuriatingly insubstantial, relying, instead, on how much viscera Roth can splatter across each scene.
The casual brutality makes
The Sadness look like an episode of
Teletubbies.
This kind of exploitative horror gore usually doesn't bother me but more than once it felt as through an unfettered Roth was striving to be the next
Herschell Gordon Lewis. This seems a backwards aspiration for an already established and respected 'name' in the modern horror genre.
Part of the backlash against
Ice Cream Man upon its release was the revelation that Roth had used generative AI during the making of this work. Reading up on this, I get the impression that he used this to manipulate the Ice Cream Man's animated cartoon that infects the mobile phones - and ultimately the dreams - of the children.
Bizarrely, though, this is a spurious detail that has little-to-no effect on the plot. It appears briefly, early on in the film, giving the impression that it's going to be a key detail in the story, but is then totally forgotten about and never referenced again. It could have been excised from the movie and no one would have been any the wiser.
Hopefully, now Eli Roth's got the
Ice Cream Man out of his system, he can return with something more on a par with his previous
Thanksgiving.