Cocaine Bear (2023)

It's 1985 and a drug smuggler's plane is heading for a crash landing, so he dumps his satchels of cocaine over the Chattahoochee National Forest, Georgia, with the idea that his colleagues can retrieve them later.

The only hiccup in this cunning plan is a 500lb black bear that devours way too much of the drug and goes on a murderous rampage, in pursuit of more of the valuable white powder.

An ensemble of oddball characters are drawn to the mountain where the bear is active, some by design and some by accident, including a mum (Rise of Skywalker's Keri Russell) looking for her runaway kid; a couple of drug dealers (Solo's Alden Ehrenreich and Obi-Wan Kenobi's O'Shea Jackson Jr.) sent to retrieve the stash; an aged police officer (The Wire's Isiah Whitlock Jr.) on their trail; a park ranger and a wildlife inspector (Person of Interest's Margo Martindale and Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson); a trio of delinquents who try and mug the wrong guy; and an unfortunate ambulance crew.

Inspired by a true story (and unlike all those ghost stories that claim the same, this actually happened), it soon becomes clear that this hilariously over-the-top affair, masterfully directed by Elizabeth Banks from a script by The Babysitter: Killer Queen's Jimmy Warden, is as much a caper fiasco as it is a gory horror flick.

Banks and Warden have taken the nugget of truth that is the real "cocaine bear" story and pumped it up to eleven, turning the bear into a furry Jason Voorhees, Cujo with a drug habit, stalking - and slaughtering - at random.

As the various parties cross paths with the coked-up bear, plans go to pieces (as do people) as the madcap carnage - and the belly laughs - escalate.

However, unlike that mother of all "when animals attack" movies Jaws, when the true monster of the piece, Ray Liotta's heartless drug boss Syd White, enters the picture, the "cocaine bear" becomes a force for justice and we can't help but find ourselves rooting for her.

Re-Opening The X-Files

Being rather immobile at present (having apparently slipped a disc, and am waiting for a treatment regime from my GP), I've been watching a lot of TV from a recumbent position, either in my lounger or in bed (I can't concentrate/focus enough to properly read, which means a growing backlog of novels and comics). 

As well as new (to me) shows, like Castle Rock, returning on-going favourites like Murdoch Mysteries, Dexter and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, classics like the BBC's Paranormal series and, of course, Ancient Aliens, I've also dug deep (thanks to Prime Video) and started watching The X-Files from season one, episode one.

By "sheer coincidence", the Amazon delivery guy turned up a few days ago with the first volume of this gorgeous X-Files tome, a stunning, hardback, faux replica of the titular X-Files themselves.

I'm a massive fan of "in-universe" books such as this, but The X-Files: The Official Archives is quite possibly the best-looking one I've seen to date.

This official book collates information (files, evidence, photographs etc) on 50 of the show's "most memorable" investigations relating to "cryptids, biological anomalies, and parapsychic phenomena". 

And if that wasn't impressive enough on its own, in May next year volume two arrives, dealing with "extraterrestrial activity and The Syndicate".

These are not only amazing reference books, but invaluable research material for an idea that's been scritching away at my brain since my serious, leg-related issues began and I realised I was (currently) unable to fulfil my gamemastering obligations for The Tuesday Knights. 

Honestly, I'm not sure how long I'll be out of action and our superhero campaign had already lost momentum and was faltering (for various real world reasons).

Pete has kindly offered to step in, when I feel like getting back to the table, as he has "an idea", which is always an exciting prospect as we had great fun with his 1950s GURPS game that segued into 1930's Hollow Earth Expedition. 

Perhaps, our characters will be "sliding" into the Victorian steampunk game he mentioned some time ago?

Or maybe it's something else entirely...

Are You Ready To Meet The Players and "Finish It" When Mortal Kombat Returns For Round Two This October?

From New Line Cinema comes the latest high-stakes installment in the blockbuster video game franchise in all its brutal glory, Mortal Kombat II.

This time, the fan favourite champions - now joined by Johnny Cage himself - are pitted against one another in the ultimate, no-holds barred, gory battle to defeat the dark rule of Shao Kahn that threatens the very existence of the Earthrealm and its defenders.

Karl Urban stars as Johnny Cage, alongside Adeline Rudolph, Jessica McNamee, Josh Lawson, Ludi Lin, Mehcad Brooks, Tati Gabrielle, Lewis Tan, Damon Herriman, with Chin Han, Tadanobu Asano as Lord Raiden, Joe Taslim as Bi-Han, and Hiroyuki Sanada as Hanzo Hasashi and Scorpion.

Director Simon McQuoid returns to helm the follow up to his explosive 2021 cinematic adventure, from a screenplay by Jeremy Slater, based on the videogame created by Ed Boon and John Tobias.

Mortal Kombat II – only in theaters and IMAX October 24.

Mortal Kombat (2021)

I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, a video game player, especially since my stroke left me without the requisite attention span or hand-eye co-ordination to be any good.

However, I'll admit to a fondness for fighting games and mashing some serious buttons in my university days playing Street Fighter (side note: I tried rewatching the 1994 Jean-Claude Van Damme movie the other week, and it has not aged well).

That said, as far as I recall, I never played Mortal Kombat, so have no real knowledge of the game's mythology or investment in  the characters.

It seems there's a supernatural martial arts tournament every century (it's not really clear how often) and if the Bad Guys of the Outworld plane win 10 tournaments in a row the Elder Gods will allow them to invade Earth (or something).

Outworld is a grey Zack Snyder-filmed Burning Man Festival kind of place, full of people in black pleather BDSM costumes.

Anyway, these guys and gals have already won nine tournaments in a row (just how rubbish are the Earth's champions?) and Outworld's Emperor Shang Tsung (Chin Han) wants to ensure victory in the 'final' tournament by sending assassins to Earth and killing our contenders before the tournament even begins.

But... if he can do that already, why are they even bothering with the tournament?

Because reasons, I guess.

There's an awful lot of hand-waving when it comes to spelling out the backstory and deep motivations of all involved, ultimately meaning the plot of Mortal Kombat has holes in it you could fly an Imperial Star Destroyer through.

The Emperor of Outworld's assassins are led by Sub-Zero (amazing martial artist Joe Taslim of The Raid fame) who has incredible ice-based superpowers to complement his martial arts moves.

In the pre-credits flashback to Ancient Japan, he sends the great ninja Hanzo Hasashi (Hiroyuki Sanada) to Hell, establishing an enmity between the two men that spans time and space.

Back on modern-day Earth, unsuccessful cage fighter Cole Young (Lewis Tan) is drawn into these shenanigans because his bloodline marks him as a champion, and he ends up getting recruited by a pair of special forces operatives, Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) and Jax (Supergirl's Mehcad Brooks), to protect him from Sub-Zero.

There's a quest to find a hidden temple, which gets resolved quick sharpish, and soon they are joining the forces of Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano), Elder God and protector of 'Earthrealm', to stand against Shang Tsung's fighters.

Mortal Kombat is dumb and occasionally nonsensical but has enough superpowered beatdown chutzpah to power through.

One of the film's problems, on top of its logic-lacking narrative, is that by being all post-modern and having the Bad Guys trying to circumvent the titular Mortal Kombat tournament, there ends up being no actual Mortal Kombat in the movie at all.

That said, the film is at its strongest when there's fighting going on. And, unsurprisingly, there's a lot of amped-up fighting going on in its 110-minute duration.

It also, as befits the reputation of the Mortal Kombat gaming franchise, features a lot of brutally violent 'finishing moves'.

So, there's that.

Sadly, Cole and Sonya, the two nominal leads, are quite bland, but luckily they are initially teamed with the foul-mouthed Australian mercenary Kano (Josh Lawson), who pretty much steals every scene he is in. 

The lack of strong leads is countered by the sheer number of different fighters involved in the story.

This isn't one of those superhero movies where powered characters plough through hordes of faceless goons. 

Mortal Kombat is about small groups of unique combatants beating the shit out of each other.

And if that sounds like your sort of thing, then you'll probably enjoy Mortal Kombat.

Sixty Years of Fantastic Four History in 90 Minutes (Marvel Recap)

Take your "First Steps" toward the upcoming Marvel Studios' Fantastic Four movie by learning everything there is to know about Marvel's first family. So, hop into the Fantasti-Car and set your coordinates for the Baxter Building, because there is a lot to cover in this video.

From cosmic rays to Secret Wars, uncover the origins of the team, including Reed Richards (Mister Fantastic), Sue Storm (The Invisible Woman), Johnny Storm (The Human Torch), Ben Grimm (The Thing), and their lineup of additional heroes coming in and out of the team. Within this epic recap are the many heroic accounts of the Fantastic Four, including their early feud with the Mole Man and his legion of subterranean kaiju, battling the shapeshifting Skrulls, quelling the Atlantean Prince Namor, and their endless encounters with their greatest nemesis of all... Dr. Doom.

So take heed of the Silver Surfer's warning, for the Devourer of Worlds has arrived and only the F4 team stands between him and his next meal.

See Marvel Studios’ The Fantastic Four: First Steps, only in theaters Friday, July 25.

[REC] 4: Apocalypse (2014)

Picking up the action from the end of [REC] 2 - itself a continuation of the original [REC] - [REC] 4: Apocalypse opens with a small military unit entering the quarantined Barcelona tower block, with the aim of blowing it up.

However, they find the sole survivor, elfin TV news reporter Ángela Vidal (the absolutely gorgeous Manuela Velasco).

Ángela awakens in a medical facility, that is very quickly revealed to be (as we all knew anyway), a ship that has been commandeered by the authorities as a floating laboratory to try and find a cure for the virus.

As well as the two surviving soldiers from her rescue, Ángela also finds on board the last survivor of the wedding party seen in [REC] 3 - Genesis, a confused old lady (María Alfonsa Rosso) completely oblivious to what went down at the wedding.

Naturally, things very quickly fall apart as a viral test subject escapes (is set free?), food becomes infected and in no time at all everything goes to hell in a very bloody hand-basket and the uninfected find themselves trapped on the claustrophobic ship as it heads into a violent storm.

Rather than aping other zombie flicks, [REC] 4 takes its inspiration from the Aliens franchise (a comparison I also made in my review of [REC] 2) and is all the better for continuing to put a fresh spin on the zombie genre.

The found footage/POV camera gimmick from the earlier entries in this series has been abandoned, but that idea still plays a key part in the story, with Ángela's footage from the tower block providing an important clue as to what is going on and frequent references to the ship's internal security cameras illustrating the spread of the chaos and carnage.

As well as the evidence from Ángela's camera, the newspaper clippings seen in the first movie are also referenced, tying that sub-plot in nicely.

However, this is where the film rather falters, although lip service is paid to the "demonic" angle of the infection, nothing is really done with it as the explanation for the virus reverts to a more mainstream one as the scientists on the ship discover it is a host-hopping parasite.

While this is handled well, it was the supernatural twist in the first three movies that gave the [REC] zombies a special flavour.

Getting rid of this angle was a serious mistake as it reduces [REC] 4 to the level of "just another zombie flick" (with its primary uniqueness coming from its setting), which the previous movies most definitely weren't.

Although, [REC] 4: Apocalypse has been set up as the conclusion of the franchise - and it provides a decent enough wrap-up to the most consistently strong zombie film series to date - it does leave the door open for a new episode on a grander scale.

And I, for one, wouldn't mind seeing more of Manuela Velasco's Ángela Vidalin action...

[REC] 3: Genesis

Although sub-titled "Genesis", I got the impression that this latest Spanish zombie flick was supposedly taking place simultaneously with the first two found-footage [REC] movies, rather than being any sort of definite "origin story".

It is the wedding day of Koldo (Diego Martin) and Clara (Leticia Dolera) and the first twenty minutes or so of [REC] 3: Genesis is spliced together from footage shot at the their wedding and then the start of their reception at an out-of-town stately home.

Barring an innocuous comment from an uncle about being bitten by a dog before the wedding this first act could almost be the set-up for a rom-com or a drama, but then uncle takes a header off a balcony into the middle of the ball room while everyone's partying... and things start to go a bit mental.

The zombie virus spreads like wildfire as the survivors split up and try to make it to safety.

The found-footage format is quickly abandoned once [REC] 3 shows its true colours as a straight-up zombie film and while some people might say this is what made the [REC] movies special, I prefer to think of their USP as their treatment of zombies.

Flesh-eaters here are not the plague-creatures we are used to from The Walking Dead or George Romero movies, but supernatural entities unable to enter holy ground, burned by holy water and whose true demonic visages are revealed in mirrored surfaces.

It here that "Genesis" comes in to play, for its Biblical reference, and the suggestions that these are fallen angels/demons rather than typical Hollywood zombies.

"Found-footage" movies have had their day anyway, so I for one was quite pleased when [REC] 3 reverted to a more mainstream style.

It worked brilliantly for the first [REC] and quite well again in the second, but did people really want yet another rehash?

It was a brave step by writer/director Paco Plaza to take a franchise so integrally-attached to to one particular style of film-making and, in mid-stream, switch to a more traditional method of telling a horror story.

Around this point, [REC] 3 also takes a distinct Dungeons & Dragons twist with Koldo tooling up in a suit of armour found in the stately home's chapel to St George and wielding a wicked looking spiked mace (not that I remember him actually using it), while a priest finds he is able to hold the undead at bay through the power of prayer.

As well as a clever zombie survival tale, [REC] 3 also manages to be a brilliant love story - with Koldo and Clara forced apart at the start of the carnage and then forever driven to get back to each other, sensing that that soul mate is still alive and motivating them not to abandon the scene.

Also, unlike the earlier films in the franchise, there is a distinct vein of black humour running through what is ultimately a tragic tale, but without diminishing the splatter quotient for the gorehounds among us.

My exposure to Spanish cinema is, admittedly, limited so I don't know if it's common to all Spanish movies or simply the [REC] ones, but they do manage to secure the most amazing-looking female leads.

I didn't think it was possible for anyone to out-cute Manuela Velasco from the first films, but Leticia Dolera is simply stunning - and a fine action-actress to boot.

I could quite easily have watched just 77 minutes of Leticia, but as an added bonus she's thrown in to a superb zombie movie that also serves as an antidote to those who are less than keen about the staid formality of family weddings.

[REC] 2 (2009)

More a continuation (in a Peter Jackson's Lord Of The Rings way) than a sequel to the excellent [REC], [REC] 2 opens with the famous night-vision shot of Manuela Velasco being dragged off into the darkness and picks up the story moments later with the building being stormed by a SWAT team.

The armed police have been assigned to escort a sinister, scar-faced "government representative from the Ministry of Health", Dr Owen (Jonathan Mellor), into the quarantined housing block.

As with its predecessor, this Spanish-language horror is filmed in the shaky-cam style of hand-held cameras - whether carried by the SWAT team or a trio of juvenile delinquents who come into the story about half-way through.

Very quickly we are reminded that this is not your Uncle George's zombie film, but something a whole lot more supernatural, as it fills in some of the questions left hanging by [REC].

Imagine a tower block full of Regan MacNeils! This is the Aliens part of the story after the scene-setting Alien-ness of [REC].

The religious backstory makes for interesting meat, but the truly clever tricks come towards the end when the nature of the hand-held camera medium is used to brilliant effect.

[REC] 2 works on its own merits, although it may come across as a bit of a 'do-over' of [REC] when looked at like that.

However it's when you take the two halves as a single film you realise that this is an amazing, original horror movie that, in a market saturated with cookie-cutter zombie movies, has found a unique spin.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Saviours Of The Multiplex Generation

As part of the first year of our Scriptwriting For Film & TV course we each had to give a 20-minute presentation on the "Theory and Analysis of Broadcast Texts".

Mine was entitled "Shallow Grave & Trainspotting or How Danny Boyle, John Hodge and Andrew Macdonald were The Saviours Of The Multiplex Generation".

I won't go on about the subject matter as that's not what made the presentations so memorable. 

Several of the finest presentations were made by people who didn't stick with the course beyond the first year.

One young girl - who was, to put it euphemistically, quite flighty - did a talk on A Room With A View (that she'd clearly done no preparation for), which primarily consisted of her finding different ways to say "I just really love it".

But the most glorious part was the purple dye running down her face and neck throughout, where she had hurriedly dyed her hair that morning and not counted on getting caught in the rain on her way to the presentation.

However, the presentation we all remember more than any of the others, as much for the reaction from Paul and I as anything else, was from one of the older students on our course.

This gentleman was using slides to illustrate his talk, about "the importance of character".

Unfortunately, he was clearly nervous and mumbling, and gradually the slides got out of sync with his script.

Paul and I were both trying to control our giggling fits, but then suddenly a slide of sheep in the back of a lorry appeared - and, to this day, I have no idea why - and we just lost it.

Paul - facing down glares from a couple of our female friends - had to excuse himself and leave the room, as I wiped the tears from my eyes and bit my lip as my face turned redder.

It was definitely a "you had to be there" moment, but it's one of those memories that all of our group still holds dear, a touchstone for the laughs we all shared during those three years.

Here are the faded notes for my presentation, and as you can see from the pictures below, they included overhead projection sheets (both photocopied and handwritten). That's how high-tech things were back in the Dark Ages of the 20th Century.