Things Are Not Looking Good For Post-War Japan

War reduced Japan to zero, and Godzilla plunged it into minus. Two years have passed since then, and the country has faced agonizing struggles to achieve recovery and finally reclaim its daily life.

Just as humanity managed to cling to a hard-won peace, a new threat strikes, crushing hope in an instant.

There is no third time. Everything ends here.

HAVE YOU READ SONJA?

Back at the height of the cinematic swords-and-sorcery boom of the 1980s, a half-dozen novels were published featuring the She-Devil With A Sword, Red Sonja.

All were written by David C Smith and Richard L Tierney and are now long out-of-print. Until now!

January sees the publication of The Collected Chronicles of Red Sonja, a 928-page hardcover collecting all those stories in a single volume.

Since her introduction to the Hyborian Kingdoms, Red Sonja has become one of the most iconic characters in fantasy, spawning dozens of comics, novels, and multiple live-action films. Now, almost fifty years later, the original novels are collected for the first time in one omnibus edition. Follow Red Sonja's tale from sorcerous start to sword-slashing finish, and see, in the mists of legend, how the she-devil with a sword was born...

The six stories are: The Ring of Ikribu ; Demon Night; When Hell Laughs; Endithor's Daughter; Against the Prince of Hell; and Star of Doom.

I welcome the republication of these eagerly sought-after novels and attribute this decision to the success of Heroic Signatures and Titan and their great work with the characters and worlds of Robert E Howard.

This has really lit a fire under the sword-and-sorcery genre that has grabbed the attention of new fans as well as pleasing the hardcore fans of old.

Long may this new age of sword-and-sorcery reign!

Andrew Garfield Introduces The Uprising

Despite erroneous rumours The Uprising is not an "origin" story for Robin Hood. The star himself, Andrew Garfield, clearly states in the featurette above that it's about the 1381 Peasants' Revolt.

Robin Hood was already an existing myth at this point in history, but - of course - may have been reshaped by the events of the genuine historical Peasants' Revolt.

Obsession (2025)

Twentysomething Bear (Michael Johnston) has a serious crush on his friend and co-worker, Nikki (Inde Navarrette), but is too awkward and shy to broach the subject of any possible romance with her.

In trying to do something nice for Nikki - replace a crystal necklace she lost - Bear wanders into a new age shop, but instead of buying a replacement necklace, he picks himself up a One Wish Willow.

The idea of this novelty item is you make a wish, then break the short willow wand, and your wish will come true.

Bear wishes that Nikki would love him more than anyone else.

That's when things start to go wrong, even though Bear gets what he wished for.

Nikki is immediately affectionate towards Bear, but as their romance develops she becomes jealous, paranoid, and possessive. 

She cranks the toxic relationship dial up way past 11, then snaps the dial off.

The chaos and carnage snowballs in increasingly weird, disturbing, and ultimately unpleasant ways as this runaway freight train heads towards its only conceivable conclusion.

Straight out the gate, you have to acknowledge that Obsession, writer/director Curry Barker's first major studio movie, isn't exactly an original idea - even he admits inspiration from a Treehouse of Terror episode of The Simpsons - but it is so incredibly well executed that you just won't care.

In large part this is due to the phenomenal performances at the heart of the piece, Nikki's escalating insanity and Bear's oscillations between trying to be a caring boyfriend and making dreadful life decisions.

I sincerely hope both Michael Johnson - who brings an air of a young Bruce Campbell from the original Evil Dead and Nicholas Brendon's Xander from Buffy The Vampire Slayer to the role of Bear - and the charismatic Inde Navarrette (previously best known as Sarah Cushing in Superman & Lois) have long careers ahead of them in horror movies, because they are both born stars of the genre.

The movie's first act (right up until Bear snaps that willow) plays out like a slow-burning, angst-ridden, slice-of-life romance, but once magic seeps into the equation things very quickly get out of hand.

Throughout, though, there is an underlying truth in the film's treatment of nascent romantic relationships (especially those circling the "friendzone") that will possibly strike a few unsettling chords - maybe even a bit too close to home - for many of its target audience. 

Much of the horror in Obsession comes from the oppressive atmosphere brought into the everyday lives of Bear and his friends by Nikki's progressively unnerving behaviour.

Yet, even during some of these, there are tragic and painful moments when the "real" Nikki surfaces, suppressing the magically-controlled side of her personality.

A powerful and shocking horror movie that plays magnificently with the "be careful what you wish for" cliché, Obsession reminded me of last year's The Monkey - without being so slapstick - in its innovative take on a simple idea.

Obsession also boasts one of the great jump scares in recent years (usually a tactic I dismiss as a cheap gimmick). It's the only one in the film but it caught me totally off guard and really worked at that particular moment in the story, signalling the epic charge into the final act.

Clever direction, a tight script, and stellar performances make Obsession a must-see for horror fans and one of my top new movies of the year.

And if nothing else, this marks the arrival of a talented new auteur, 27-year-old Curry Barker, on the horror scene as well as serving as a launch pad for breakout stars Michael Johnston and Inde Navarrette.

What Would You Feed Into A Portal to Hell?

After a debt-collector finds a portal to hell in a washing machine at his local laundromat, he’s propositioned into feeding hell sinners to save his neighbour's soul.

Portal to Hell is written, directed and shot by Woody Bess, and stars Trey Holland, Romina D’Ugo, Richard Kind, Michael McDonald, and Keith David.

I have a good feeling about this oddity because it's giving me Glorious vibes.

I need to keep an eye out for when Portal to Hell is going to be available over here for home viewing.

Warcraft - The Beginning (2016)

Continuing my meander through movies based on video games I know little about, the immediate takeaway from Warcraft: The Beginning is that it's a million times better than Assassin's Creed.

Up to this point - barring a very short (we're talking a matter of minutes) and unrewarding stab at trying to play World Of Warcraft online - my primary exposure to the setting was Meredith's eight-part tabletop campaign she ran for the Tuesday Knights back in 2013.

I still came to Warcraft: The Beginning knowing almost nothing about the wider world, but Duncan Jones' movie opened with a tidal wave of world-building, as characters darted from one beautiful location to another and back again during the first act.

There's clearly a mountain of backstory and lore built up over the years that this game has been running, and it's almost overwhelming as the viewer is bombarded by evocative names and locations with whiplash-inducing speed.

At times Warcraft: The Beginning feels as though the film-makers are squeezing 10 hours-worth of intricate storytelling and plot development into a two-hour movie.

The world of the orcs is dying and so their sorcerer supreme Gul'dan (Daniel Wu) uses his powerful necrotic magic known as The Fell (it's kinda like the dark side of The Force) to open a portal to the peaceful world of Azeroth, which he sees as prime real estate for a new orc kingdom.

Among the initial wave of orcs he brings through is the idealistic clan chief Durotan (Toby Kebbell), who quickly realises that the only reason their homeworld was dying is because of Gul'dan's use of The Fell, which is fuelled by life energy.

So Durotan tries to engineer peaceful contact with the ruling human kingdom, ruled by the Preacher partnership of Dominic Cooper (as King Llane Wrynn) and Ruth Negga (as Lady Taria).

Leading the human armies is Lady Taria's brother, Anduin Lothar (Vikings' Travis Fimmel, who is essentially still playing Ragnar Lothbrok, just in better armour), who takes a shine to 'mutant orc' Garona (Paula Patton), after he captures her during an initial spat between the two species.

Although riven with clichés about 'power corrupting' and the 'enemy of my enemy is my friend', the plot of Warcraft: The Beginning is surprisingly engaging.

Once your eyes have adjusted to surfeit of obviously CGI creatures and you accept that this isn't high class fantasy - like Lord Of The Rings or Game Of Thrones - but rather Sunday afternoon B-movie fare like that produced by Arrowstorm or my beloved Ray Harryhausen flicks from back in the day, it's rather an entertaining romp.

The twists and turns of the story veer off into silliness for the climax (which is clearly being contrived to set up sequels that are - sadly - never going to appear), but the fight scenes and depictions of the magical arts are superb.

While most of the plot is quite predictable (and that's not necessarily a bad thing), it makes an 'interesting' and 'brave' narrative choice towards the end to take the story is a surprisingly un-Hollywood direction.

Obviously, I don't know how close Warcraft: The Beginning sticks to the established mythology of the video game, but what we are presented with here works really well.

It's a criminal shame, though, that the other main races of Azeroth - namely the dwarves and elves - are reduced to little more than background extras; it would have been cool to see members of these other races fighting alongside Anduin Lothar.

While Warcraft: The Beginning still hasn't persuaded me to play the online game, it has kindled the desire to see more Warcraft movies (should they ever materialise) and maybe learn a bit more about the world of Azeroth.

IT'S HOWARD THE DUCK DAY!!!

Courtesy of the invaluable CineCalendar via BlueSky

MUSICAL MONDAY: TTTTOKYO (Atarashii Gakko!)

Sword Of The Barbarians (1982)

 
There is something quite delicious about watching a crappy old swords and sorcery B-movie on VHS cassette, that certain - almost illicit - frisson of knowing that this movie is so awful it isn't available in any better format.

That said, Sword Of The Barbarians (aka Barbarian Master aka Sangraal, la spada di fuoco) is a surprisingly decent Dungeons & Dragons-esque quest movie.

Nomad chieftain Sangraal (Pietro Torrisi aka Peter McCoy) is leading his people through the wilderness when they stumble upon a group of villagers under attack.

Driving off the attackers, Sangraal asks to be taken back to their village, where he is greeted by headman Belam (Luciano Rossi aka Lou Kamante) and invited to stay and settle down - much to the delight of his people.

However, word gets back to the villainous Nanuk (Mario Novelli aka Anthony Freeman) - enemy of Belam's people and worshipper of topless fire goddess Rani (Xiomara Rodriguez) - that a stranger has appeared in the valley and has been killing his men.

Rani demands vengeance - so Nanuk launches an attack on the village, capturing Sangraal and forcing him to watch as the village is put to the sword and his wife Lenne (Margareta Rance) is cut down in front of him.

Luckily, Belam's daughter, Aki (Yvonne Fraschetti), escapes the massacre with the aid of wandering Easterner, Li Wo Twan (Hal Yamanouchi aka Al Huang), and they free Sangraal.

Sangraal's first thought isn't revenge - he wants to restore Lenne to life, which Aki (who has the hots for Sangraal) says is impossible.

Twan, however, reckons the wise man of The Black Mountains, Rudak (Massimo Pittarello), might know how to do it.

On the journey to Rudak, the trio are attacked by useless bandits, waylaid by the least-threatening sandstorm in cinematic history and finally driven into an underground cave system by a host of extras from Life Of Brian, where they meet some amusingly lame subterranean reptile people.

Finally getting to Rudak, the wizard tells Sangraal that Aki was right and he can't resurrect Lenne, however if he wants to get revenge on Nanuk and Rani he needs to travel west for three days into a forest where he'll find a cavern containing The Ark Of Templars and in that he will find the instrument of his revenge.

It might be worth pointing out, if you haven't picked up on it already, that Sangraal is another, archaic, name for the Holy Grail. 

There's some shenanigans in the forest with a tribe of monkey-people, who are in league with Nanuk, but eventually Sangraal finds the cave he was looking for - which happens to be guarded by another topless goddess (Sabrina Siani) who our hero only manages to overcome with the aid of Rudak.

In the Ark is a humongous crossbow, but by the time Sangraal retrieves it, Nanuk has captured Aki and whisked her back to his own luxury cave where she is held hostage, as naked bait to draw Sangraal in for his final confrontation.

Much fighting ensues and in the end, once he has seen Aki's boobies, Sangraal has forgotten all about his beloved Lenne and found romance in the ample bosom of Aki.

Sword Of The Barbarians is a strange cocktail of Deathstalker and Hawk The Slayer and while not reaching the heights of excellence of either of these legendary movies, it manages to survive translation from Italian and rebranding as an American flick remarkably well.

Large quantities of low-lying smoke in many parts of Sangraal's land made me wonder if it was close to Hawk The Slayer's Realm and Mario Novelli, with all his mwahaha-ing, scenery-chewing and histrionic proclamations is clearly channelling Jack Palance's Voltan, as the barbarian's barbarian, Nanuk.

The presence of a random Easterner is never really fully explained and, unfortunately, the character of Twan quickly deteriorates in to a fortune-cookie-proverb-spouting stereotype whose ramblings eventually prompt Sangraal to cut him off. A harsh word that comes back to haunt him - and suggests that maybe a bit more thought went into this script than you'd expect from this style of movie.

While the creature effects (the 'lizard people' and the 'monkey-men') are very basic, the frequent fight scenes are an odd mix of cheap gore and bloodless acrobatics - yet surprisingly entertaining for a trashy, low-budget swords and sorcery piece.

If you can find Sword Of The Barbarians I definitely recommend checking it out.

It's not Robert McKee or Syd Field, but if you give the script a chance you'll find it hangs together very well and gamers will appreciate the pure Dungeons & Dragons-ness of the whole ensemble (torch-lit expeditions in underground cave systems, monsters, pit traps, magic etc).

Sword Of The Barbarians doesn't aspire to be high art and embraces its sub-Conan silliness without resorting to slapstick or knowingly undermining its world view.

Give it chance - you never know you might be as enchanted by it as I was.